An intruder barges into your room! Your weapon is the object to your left...

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Laptop charger.

Well, I could smash their faces in. This thing is solid and about as durable as a Nokia 3310.
 
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A package of Fig Newtons. Well, it'll be a delicious death as I begin cramming the container down their gullet hole.
 
A pillow.

Fuck it, suffocation it is.
 
My biology notebook. I will bore the intruder to death about cells.
 
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