A Wolf Among The Sheep

By the time Clarissa had returned from the lake, breakfast was over and things were starting to be cleared away. Not that she cared, she didn't have much of an appetite anyway. Her anger had cooled slightly, although a flame did linger, ready to explode into another roaring explosion should the right thing trigger her. But a hurt and resigned sadness did remain. For Clarissa, she hated how Tate had simply made the decision for the both of them, with no compromise or even willingness to listen to what she felt.

Back in the human village, that was one thing Clarissa felt certain she would be good at. Motherhood. Growing up knowing she was different to everyone else in the village, struggling with the fact that there was something about her that wasn't quite right, she knew she wouldn't ever want her own children to feel the way she had. Like an outcast. Every child in the village she looked after or made a new garment for or fixed clothes for, she had ensured to make them feel special. Her love for children had grown that way, and her desire for motherhood had grown with it.

Now for that to be taken away, without even a discussion, and by someone who was supposed to understand her... it hurt.

During the month where nothing seemed certain, with all she had learned about herself and who she actually was, it felt like potential motherhood was the one thing she could cling to that she knew would happen eventually. Now that had been taken from her too.

When she arrived back, Clarissa forced a smile to her lips and made a bee-line straight for Anders. Although she did falter at the sight of the baby. However she pushed on, not bothering to acknowledge her mate as she was still sore after their conversation. This raised a few eyebrows, such as from Gio who shared a look with Sasha.

After the night they had shared, and the fact they had both given into the call of her heat, it seemed like it was expected for them to be closer than ever. However Clarissa couldn't bring herself to act alright with Tate, as much as she hated the tension between them. He had hurt her, and taken away something she had been looking forward to since she was old enough to potentially marry. Of course she was going to act stung for a little while.

"Hey," she breathed, sitting down besides the youngest Rivers child. She pulled him into a hug, mindful of the baby, but lingered there for a while, if more for her own comfort than his. "You scared us there for a while. Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" She then asked Anders, eyes flickering over him as if checking him for any wounds, "Don't be scarin' us like that again, okay? I'm not sure if my heart can take it."
 
The breakfast had been an uncomfortable affair as a result of Tate's silence, his body language -tense, rigid and stiff- doing little to bring comfort into his pack members. Any celebratory atmosphere that had drifted into the morning from the evening before had been distinguished as a result of their leader's disinterest in everything going on around him - though it was hard to challenge him on that when it was obvious the issue had arisen with his mate. His behaviour wasn't helping lift the mood but nobody dared to try and cheer him up when any issue with his mate was going to weigh heavily on him, whatever the issue was.

So the breakfast proceeded and concluded in almost near silence, any talking that did occur being in hushed, whispered tones. As it neared the end and the pack began the usual duties of cleaning up after the meal, Anders remained where he was, doing his best not to let the negative atmosphere affect him too much. He had a lot to be miserable about when it came to his relationship and the pressure that came with trying to hide it, but conversely, there was plenty to be happy about. He was back home, he had a mate (despite the unfairness of not being able to openly enjoy the new romance) and there was a baby that needed taking care of; a baby he was more than willing to be a caregiver to indefinitely.

He wanted to prioritise focusing on those positives when each brought joy to him, rather than dwell on the negatives. If anything, moping about miserably would bring questions from worried pack members and increase the likelihood of him and Ronan being found out which couldn't happen just yet. Keeping positive was the right thing to do from all aspects, even if a part of him felt guilty for enjoying himself when his mate was tied up and left cold and hungry.

Fortunately, Clarissa's arrival did distract him from contemplating the position he was in, the man immediately reciprocating the affection by holding her into the hug with his one free arm. Being absent from the pack was hard enough but being away from Clarissa when the last interaction with her had been so poisonous was horrific and had weighed on him mentally. To see that she didn't harbour any ill feeling towards him was a weight off his shoulders and Anders did his best not to react too emotionally to it, instead sniffling quietly and forcing back the wave of emotion that crashed over him.

"Just a few cuts and bruises, it ain't anythin' to go worrying about," the youngest of the brothers grinned as he settled back, his eyes only leaving Clarissa to check on the baby in his arms, smiling to himself when seeing the little girl was just as content as she had been before the hug. In response, he lightly adjusted the blankets around her and held her into the crook of his arm, his thumb gently grazing her forehead to brush aside a stray lock of hair.

"She's, uh-- I'm takin' care of her until someone comes by looking for 'er. Tate ain't happy about it but I'm doing a good job, she's-- she likes me," he murmured in explanation as he briefly glanced back over at his brother's mate with a grin, his pride only growing at the sight of the baby sleepily nestling against his arm. "...I dunno her name but I've been calling her Teddy, like-- a teddy bear, y'know? It's what my Ma used to call me when I was a baby, so I figured it was cute. Felt weird just referring to her as 'the baby', I guess-- is Tate really mad at me lookin' after her? 'Cos I... I know he wanted Gio and Sasha to do it."
 
Seeing the baby girl just made the pain of the conversation she just had with Tate all the more harder to deal with. Yet she still looked down at the little creature, a small yet sad smile gracing her lips as she did so. She watched Anders' gentle, tender movements and her heart ached at the sight, although she forced herself to blame the fading hormones of the heat for the influx of maternal instinct and longing.

"She's adorable." She murmured, shifting around slightly so she could reach out a hand and softly coax a finger into the baby's little ones. Her heart grew as small fingers gripped tightly, a warmth blossoming within her chest as her eyes roamed over miniature features. The button nose, the tiny eyelashes, the rosy cheeks and bright eyes. It caused Clarissa's strength to briefly wobble, wanting nothing more than to simply break down and reveal everything to Anders. But that was exactly what caused him to react the way he did the day he went missing. Because she had kept going to him with her Tate-related problems. She didn't want that to happen again.

So she buttoned up, and shoved it all back.

"S'perfect, she is like a little teddy, look at her." The female werewolf cooed gently, wiggling her finger so the baby's hand moved slightly with her, "Just... careful about gettin' attached. If someone does come lookin' for her then I'd hate for you to get hurt havin' to give her away, y'know?" She then warned delicately, eyes moving up from the baby to Anders, "She could have a family out there somewhere lookin' for her... just be prepared for them to eventually find her."

A muscle in her jaw jumped at the mention of Tate, and if he was mad about Anders wishing to keep the baby. Following their conversation, she was more determined than ever to help Anders keep little Teddy if that was what the young lad wanted. "Fuck Tate an' what he wants." She muttered, although ensuring to keep her voice low so only Anders' could hear her. She didn't need to start a physical fight with her mate, although she doubted he'd hurt her, he'd still need to prove a point. There was her providing a different insight, or offering another angle in thought... and then there was outright rebellion.

"If you want to look after Teddy yourself, Anders, then do it. He can't control your happiness, an' he shouldn't try to. I think you're doin' great with her so far, an' she's happy enough, ain't she? Why bother potentially upsetting the poor kid? She's already been through enough. An' if you need any help with her, I'll be here, you know that."
 
The ferocity of the remark did cause Anders' eyes to widen slightly. He already knew that there was tension between the mates from the silence between them - it was as unsubtle as their uncomfortable body language was. He had naively chosen to believe that they had just had some disagreement over something small; a little bickering that could be resolved but had yet to do so as a result of their stubbornness, particularly Tate's.

What he was becoming aware of was that the unsettling tension between them was borne from something far more serious than the typical bickering between mates. He didn't want to accept that because it only meant that whatever issue was present between them wouldn't be resolved as easily as he wanted it to, but there was no denying that something serious had occurred when Clarissa responded with such vitriol, leaving Anders to awkwardly smile in refusal to engage on the topic more.

He would gladly be a shoulder for her to lean on when it came to problems with Tate. That was his brother, but Clarissa was also his friend; his best friend. He wouldn't hesitate to hear her out and offer advice if she needed that - though, if nothing else, he was just happy to be someone she could vent to. While he wanted to indicate that she could open up to him about whatever it was bothering her, the time for that wasn't when they were out in the open where anyone could overhear them - and he especially didn't want to expose the baby to any of that negativity while she was awake.

It was a conversation he wanted to have with Clarissa, knowing the importance of being open and not bottling up emotions (he had done that and it led to him outright attacking his older brother, after all) but it was one that would just have to wait until they were in private.

"...I want to look after 'er, I do," he eventually replied, happy to focus on Teddy and the situation regarding her. He knew not to grow too close when, at any time, some relative could arrive in search of her, but it was difficult not to grow attached when caring for her brought so much happiness into his life. He felt useful for the first time in his life and that was a feeling he didn't want to lose, however possible it was that he might at any moment.

"I, uh...I've always wanted a kid, you know? It was never gonna happen for me the normal route, so it-- it just feels like... this was meant to be, that she was s'posed to come into my life. I-I can't explain it but-- but it feels right, like this was meant to be o-or whatever," he gently explained, biting the inside of his cheek hard to stop himself from blurting out every secret he held; secrets he wanted to desperately inform someone of. He wanted to take his own advice and open up, not bottle it all away, and the only person he really trusted with that information was Clarissa - but just like they couldn't discuss her problems out in the open, he couldn't reveal his own just yet.

"I-- should go and put Teddy down for a nap-- do you wanna come an' help? We could-- have a chat in my hut, then. I-- I really wanna have that, a private chat with 'ya. I need to, Clar. You can tell me what's botherin' 'ya 'cos I'm here for that; you can rant and vent to your heart's content," he grinned playfully as he eased himself up to his feet with a faint groan at the aching in his muscles, the days he had spent tied up inevitably still playing havoc on his body. He held back from groaning further for Teddy's benefit, not wanting to distress the baby if she somehow picked up on the sound of his pain, and instead offered the girl a light coo to settle her.
 
"I'd love to... do... do you think I'd be able to get a cuddle out of her? This Heat thing has given me some crazy maternal instincts." Clarissa laughed quietly, awkwardly trying to move on from her words regarding Tate. She should have known better than to be so brash regarding her mate in front of Anders. She knew the younger lad didn't enjoy confrontation, and hated speaking ill of anyone even more. However she couldn't help what she had said, it had merely slipped out.

It saddened her slightly, again, to hear Anders speak of how he always wanted a child. Briefly she wondered what it would have been like if he had been her mate. There would have been no hurt like she was experiencing now, and she would know that her mate would want children. However she knew, deep down, that she belonged to Tate. Her personality was too stubborn, to dominate for someone as quiet and soft as Anders. Tate could put her straight when necessary, but she could imagine that Anders would find that quite difficult.

Following Anders into his hut, she took a deep breath in of the familiar scents of the family. She sat on the edge of his bed, eyes falling onto the small cot that had been placed beside it. Another pang echoed through her heart and her shoulders subconsciously drooped as she allowed her gaze to run over the small piece of furniture.

Quickly she cleared her throat and sharply looked away, body turning so she could lean against the post that supported the bed above his.

"If you wanna look after her, you should. I ain't goin' stop you, an' I'm goin' make sure that Tate fuckin' doesn't stop you too. It ain't his business what you do, you're old enough to make your own decisions." She smiled quietly, picking at a nail briefly as she considered what to say next, "He's just worried you'll miss out on what other kids your age are doin'. But let's face it, Anders, you ain't like kids your age." She teased good-heartedly, smile turning into a grin so he knew she was only joking, "If you're happy lookin' after this little one, then do it. An' anytime you do wanna go out an' have some fun, I can come 'ere and keep an eye on her. I'd love to."
 
While it was probably true that Anders wasn't the smartest member of the pack, he wasn't entirely incapable of putting two and two together. As naive as he often was, he was able to pull together and decipher the truth in some cases. It wasn't a common occurrence, with the man more often or not needing to have situations in and around the pack explained to him, but there were those rare times when everything just seemed to fall into place for him - and this was one of those times.

The other's admission that her maternal instincts had been heightened after the heat may have just been a casual remark but he recognised a sadness immediately. Tate might never have explicitly stated that he harboured a dislike of children but his behaviour around them wasn't subtle - there were plenty of occasions where Anders had observed his eldest brother grimacing in discomfort and doing his best to put distance between himself and the children in the pack. It made sense that Clarissa's newly heightened feelings would have been brought to Tate's attention - and when their thoughts and feelings on the matter were so juxtaposing, Anders was willing to bet that that was the reason they were currently butting heads and refusing to speak to one another.

He didn't want to really get in the way of their argument; he didn't need his brother accusing him of meddling in their problems if he encouraged Clarissa by allowing her some time with the baby. But he knew he could always plead innocence if it came to that, say he had no idea of the issues they were having and simply wanted some help with Teddy; help Clarissa was eagerly offering him. It would be a lie -he wasn't naive to the problem they were having- but he wasn't prepared to turn Clarissa's offer down when he imagined it would make her happy.

And she was his best friend; he wanted to have her around, sharing in something that was momentous in his life.

"Course you can cuddle her, you don't have to ask; you're my best friend, Clar," he reminded with a light smile, carefully handing Teddy over to the other without hesitation. Only when she was safely cradled in Clarissa's arms did he stretch out his own with a light groan, easing his shoulders back to relieve the slight ache in them before setting himself down on the top bunk, letting his legs dangle over the side.

"Tate can just-- he don't need to fucking worry so much. I get his concerns but I ain't the sort of guy to go runnin' about the woods with a few girls anyway, that ain't me. It isn't... somethin' I'd do, he knows that. I'm happier looking after Teddy an' being around the pack, helping out," he shrugged, a derisive grin spreading on his face in disbelief that Tate would think he would be acting that unruly if he had the chance. Even if Teddy wasn't in his life, living more domestically and settling down was his priority; not running about being wild and causing headaches for his siblings.

"...Who am I even gonna go out and have fun with, Clar? Even if I fancied doing that, I ain't got anyone to really do that with. I mean, I-- I sort of do, but he's-- it's just complicated," he shrugged as he bit the inside of his cheek harder, stopping just before he cut through the skin. "I ain't tellin' anyone else this so don't go telling nobody. Not Daisy, not Sasha - 'specially not Tate. But I, uh-- I found my mate, Clar. From the other pack; they're tied up outside with the others we brought back."
 
As soon as the little pup was placed in her arms, Clarissa melted. The tension that had been in her shoulders no longer existed and the frown she subconsciously held turned around into a smile. The baby fussed momentarily, squirming and having a few hiccuping huffs, but soon settled again with her little mouth forming an 'o' as she yawned. She brought the babe closer to her chest, moving to sit further on the bed and curl up in the corner with legs tucked under her and back resting against the wall.

While listening to Anders, she was unable to help but indulge in this rare moment, knowing she wouldn't be experiencing it with any child of her own. The thought sent a stab of pain in her chest, the sensation pulling downwards to her stomach as if that knife was being pulled down. She leaned her head forward so her nose could lightly brush against Teddy's forehead, eyes closing as she took in a soft breath.

It hurt to think that she wouldn't be able to do this with any of her own children. In that moment, she could so easily and so vividly imagine it being a scene from her future, but with her leaning into Tate rather than the wall. A son or daughter of her own wrapped up in her arms instead of Anders' ward. That clean baby smell lingering on her skin and within the hut, little fingers attempting to grab strands of her hair, big and wide eyes staring up at her as if shocked by simply looking at her. She wanted all that someday, and the fact that Tate had so strongly stated that it was the last thing he desired... she wasn't sure he would ever understand just how much that had hurt her.

Clarissa's tongue darted out to wet her lips, glancing up to focus on Anders again as she noticed a lump beginning to form in her throat that she didn't want to acknowledge.

"Wait. Anders-- you've-- your mate?" She repeated hastily, careful to keep her voice calm and even as to not disturb or upset Teddy, "But-- who? Why haven't you said anything to the others? You got'ta get them released, they can't be tied up any longer." She moved to the edge of the bed again, keeping her arms as still as possible for the baby who now seemed to be dozing.

She briefly looked down as Teddy's head turned to nuzzle into her chest, unable to help the small smile that formed, before looking back up to her friend.

"Anders-- you got'ta tell someone. They need to be released, I'm sure we can figure somethin' out. Is this-- is this why you're so set on lookin' after Teddy? Cause you've got someone now? I mean, it makes sense, s'not like you're goin' find anyone else attractive now. You're not goin' wanna chase after anyone else now either. You'll wanna... settle down... have kids..." Eyes turned down to Teddy, "Does your mate know about you lookin' after Teddy? I mean, they got to be stupid if they don't, since you've not let her go since you've been back."
 
Anders had plenty of siblings to turn to, to open up to, but he had gone to Clarissa for his own reasons - namely because he felt he could trust her not to be judgemental or accuse him of just being 'confused'. He imagined his siblings wouldn't be disgusted, but he did doubt their ability to accept his feelings as valid - either they would say it was just a fling and the right mate, a female one, would come alone soon, or they would just go after Ronan and hurt him, as if he was some master manipulator who had taken advantage of Anders' kindness and naivety.

Neither were true, of course. He knew for a fact that he loved Ronan and that their relationship was just as valid as anyone else's was, but he also knew that it would be met with backlash or just confusion, the latter being just as upsetting as the former would be. He didn't want to risk bringing any harm to the person he loved, however desperate he was to just tell his pack and have Ronan freed from the confines of the rope, able to build a life with him and, potentially, with Teddy.

But what was the likelihood of them ever being able to do that when he continued to doubt his pack's ability to even accept them?

Which was why he had turned to Clarissa. She might be a member of their pack now but she had grown up elsewhere and he hoped that her experience outside of the pack would help her be a little more understanding than the others would be. They had been brought up from birth in the pack, after all, and while that didn't necessarily mean they would all adhere to the same beliefs, Anders didn't really want to risk that if it didn't work out the way he wanted it to.

Besides, Clarissa was one of the people he was closest to - opening up to her first was something he was always going to do, even if he feared what her reaction might be.

"I'm not going to settle down and have any kids, Clar. It'd be fuckin' impossible for a start. I'd love more, but it'd-- I mean, I'm not settling down with a girl. I'm not... interested in 'em," he declared, having built up to the moment with the hope that he could utter the confession confidently and passionately. Perhaps predictably, his head had lowered and his words stammered and fell over one another as his nerves kicked in, his hands starting to anxiously fiddle with the blanket beside him.

"His name's Ronan; the, uh-- the blonde guy out there. I-- I can't really have him released when-- you know, I... I love my brothers and the pack but they won't... just accept this without asking questions, Clar. A-And that fucking terrifies me. They could try an' hurt him, say he manipulated me, or they could just belittle what we have an' say it ain't real, and that'd just-- hurt. Ronan said we oughta keep it quiet until we figure out what to do but I-- I thought-- I mean, I trust you. You're the only one I trust to tell about this."
 
Clarissa went still at Anders' confession, simply starting at her friend as she allowed the words to sink in. Guilt, for some unknown reason, filled her at his anxious stammering and as he tripped over his words, seeming to struggle in getting them out. She felt awful for how nervous he seemed regarding this piece of news, when really he should have been filled with nothing but happiness, shouting it from the rooftops and demanding everyone accept his new mate.

Yet she understood his hesitance. She could remember when Tate and the others didn't know how to react with her introduction to the pack, let alone a male mate from some unknown enemy pack.

The female werewolf remained silent as she stood and gently lowered Teddy into the cot, tucking the baby in with a soft murmur and brush of thumb against cheek. From there, she clambered onto the top bank beside Anders. Immediately her arm came around his shoulders to pull him to her, offering that warmth and support that he hadn't been able to seek out until now. Her other hand moved to rest over his, stilling them from the fidgeting motion of picking at the blanket. Sitting up straighter, she rested her chin on top of his head, thumb on the hand clasping his upper arm gently stroking in a soothing manner.

After a moment she pulled back and softly took hold of his chin, forcing him to look at her. Searching his gaze, she allowed the silence to stretch, "An' you're sure about this? You know for sure he's your mate?" She wasn't about to discredit his beliefs. Very opposite to what was thought of with Tate, Clarissa was confident that Anders knew his own mind. To her, he was an adult and could make his own decisions. The only reason why she asked was to make sure of it.

Eventually she released his chin and once more held him as she did previously, sighing softly. "Well, ain't we both a pair of peas in a fucked up pod?" She teased tenderly, hand slipping from his upper arm to rub his back, "You can't keep this a secret forever, Anders. You'll need to tell the pack eventually an'... an' when you do, I'll be there to show my support, I promise you that." She murmured after, meaning every word of it.

Perhaps it was that maternal instinct again, but Clarissa knew she would defend Anders no matter what happened. Even against Tate.

"I'll do what I can, y'know, to make sure Tate stays away from 'im." She then added, eyes dropping to the floor in thought. She might not be best pleased with her mate at the moment, but if pretending to be okay with their situation meant that her mate was less irate and therefore hopefully less likely to act out randomly with those tied up from the enemy pack. "But Anders... you got'ta tell people eventually. It'll eat away at ya, trust me. I'll be there, right by your side, when you do, alrigh'? I promise."
 
Though the silence and stillness was only momentary, a few seconds at the very most, it felt like an age had passed before the other made her way to sit beside him on the top bunk. Even as she made the move, Anders' anxiety was at such a high that he couldn't be sure that she was being supportive of him, or was approaching in order to sternly reprimand him.

Finding his mate was hardly anything to be reprimanded over but he knew it was still a possibility. It was what he was expecting the rest of the pack to do, anyway - to display a disappointment in him for the mate he had settled for, as if the man wasn't the soulmate fate had picked out for him. Any love or care he held for Ronan was bound to be overlooked in confusion or disgust, and while he wanted desperately to believe Clarissa wasn't going to display any of those emotions (he had opened up to her for that reason), he couldn't be sure that she wouldn't.

His hunch that she would be supportive of him was found to be correct when she took him close and physically offered her support in the form of a hug; one that Anders knew he needed. He needed that from her anyway - after so much time apart, and how badly they had left things, a hug was long overdue. Now it was needed more than ever, the younger wolf allowing himself a moment to just focus on the expression of care and not anything else ruin it.

He had to come back to the present situation eventually, a frown growing on his face the more Clarissa spoke. He appreciated the advice, greatly, but coming clean with the pack was easier said than done. It was necessary, but something he wanted to avoid nonetheless, however impossible it was.

"I can't just-- tell them, Clar. Tate will-- he'll-- I don't know, he won't react well. Gio won't either, he'll hurt Ronan o-or somethin', think it's his fault and blame him. I won't let anything happen to him, he's-- I love him, I won't let him get hurt by them. I want him safe and happy, it fucking hurts to see him tied up like that, but-- but we both agreed not to let anyone know. It-- It could get him killed. We both know how protective Tate is, right? If he thinks Ronan's manipulated me, he'll--"

He paused, biting his lip hard in refusal to finish the sentence. The sight of his mate bruised up and in pain was enough to make his chest ache; he couldn't imagine the pain he'd feel if Ronan was ever to die, especially at the hands of one of his older brothers.

"...Hey, you'd like him. He's-- funny, like-- so funny. And he's sweet. He acts all tough and moody but he's sweet to me. He would bring me food when I was back at their pack and sit with me when it got cold, keep me warm - he's my mate, Clar. I know he is, it ain't me being stupid or dumb. I know everything thinks I am, and maybe I'm not a fuckin' genius, but I know what I feel. I know he's my mate. I just can't... tell anyone, not yet. Not when Tate's in such a fuckin' mood anyway-- I'm sorry about him, by the way. I, uh... I'm on your side. Whatever he's done, I'm guessin' he's the one being unreasonable."
 
Her eyebrows knitted together at Anders obvious and deep anxiety regarding the situation. It would be hard to say she understood what he was going through because, in reality, she never could. Of course she had her own rough time with finding out Tate was her mate, but at least when that all came to fruition, it was immediately accepted. Even with her being an outsider from the start, she was welcomed with open arms. However, she could only imagine the confusion and animosity that would occur from Tate alone for this piece of news.

Allowing Anders to finish speaking, she ignored his comments regarding her own mate. She knew that if she responded, the dam that was weakly holding back her emotions would break apart and everything would flood out. This wasn't a time for her to concentrate on her own relationship in that moment; Anders needed her.

Pulling back out of the hug, she turned to better face him, meaning a leg reached up to fold so she sat half cross-legged while the other hung over the edge of the bunk bed. Clarissa reached out, hands cupping his cheeks with a thumb lightly brushing on the one side in an act meant to hopefully bring some sort of comfort. They may only be a handful of years apart, and they were best friends, but it was hard not to act sisterly - even motherly - at times with the younger male. Besides, he had been a source of comfort and support through every tough time she experienced so far in the pack, she was determined to return the favour.

"Tate won't touch 'im cause I'll be there with you to protect 'im, alrigh'? So you get that worry out of your head right now. Whatever you decide to do, you'll 'ave me next to you every step of the way; I mean it. You ain't goin' to go through this alone, Anders. I mean, I know I ain't about to hold Tate off in a fight if it came to it, but no matter what disagreements we might or mightn't be havin' at the minute, he ain't about to hurt me. That I'll always know. Still, it'll give you enough time to get Ronan out of there if needs be."

She smiled softly, removing her hands from his cheeks and lowering them to take both of his within her own. Hearing him talk about Ronan a minute ago only cemented her beliefs that Anders knew what he was doing. She knew that this wasn't a case of him being manipulated or convinced of something that wasn't there. Something within her, instinctual, helped her with that decision. But also the way in which he talked about his mate, the way there was a gleam in his eye and the faintest of smiles at the corners of his lips.

While she hadn't been in the werewolf lifestyle for as many years as everyone else, Clarissa knew one would have to be stupid to overlook what Ronan did for Anders while he was captured. That other pack were confident that they wouldn't be found, so why would Ronan do what he did if it wasn't for the potential of being caught himself one day? He had no motive to do what he had done, except for the fact that Anders was his mate and he had gone through the exact same torment as Anders was going through now of watching his mate tied up.

"You're a little brother to me, Anders, an' all I want is your happiness. If this Ronan guy is a means to that happiness... who am I to stand in the way? I trust you, an' I'll trust your judgement. Just... give me a heads up before you decide to tell anyone, just so I can be there or get into position if needs be." She chuckled, squeezing his hands lightly, "No one'll touch him. An' when it comes to lunch, I'll make sure they get somethin' to eat. All of them, so it don't look suspicious, okay?"
 
While he had a hunch that the other was going to support him, the strength of that support still took him by surprise. He hadn't envisioned her coming to his defence and promising her support to him as strongly as she was, ultimately having got so in his head about the entire situation that he overlooked just how much Clarissa cared for him. In his eyes, his brothers all loved him too but they would probably display confusion over that level of support; be quick to blame Ronan as though he was the mastermind behind some cruel deceit - and if they would present that sort of behaviour, then Clarissa possibly could too.

He was doing her a disservice by even briefly contemplating that as a possibility because not once did she doubt his claims. A question to make sure what he felt was the real thing wasn't the interrogation he knew he would have received from his brothers; from Daisy, even. He was deemed naive and while he was self-aware enough to know those claims held some validity, he wasn't so stupid that he didn't know when he had found his mate. The depth of his feelings for Ronan, the fluttering in his chest when he laid eyes on the man and the happiness that came to him when he was in his company, was more than enough evidence for him to know that he was his mate.

But he knew that it would go challenged nonetheless; that his family, the people that claimed to love him the most in the world, would assume that his naivety was being taken advantage of as a result of some nefarious revenge plot.

"...You're gettin' real soppy now, Clar. I thought I was the soppy one 'round 'ere," he grinned as he wiped his eyes quickly, hoping his playful remark would be enough to distract from how teary-eyed he had become - though the sniffles and the glistening that remained in his eyes wasn't all that subtle. Unlike Tate, however, Anders didn't necessarily feel like he had to hold back on his emotions; he expressed them without hesitation (and without embarrassment), even if that openness lent him the reputation of being 'soppy' or 'weepy'.

"J-Just-- yeah, I wanna make sure they get food. They're people too, an' sure, what they did wasn't... great, but... we don't 'ave to treat 'em badly. If any bridges are gonna be built between us, we gotta show 'em that we're not the bad guys. Their alpha is out there; it's a good chance to show her that we're willing to... I dunno, Tate's in charge, not me. I just know I'd treat 'em differently to how he's treating 'em, I guess," he continued with a faint shrug, shifting up on the bed so his back rested against the wall. He couldn't imagine how stressful it was to be alpha and deal with everything, so he wasn't about to infuriate Tate by telling him the way he was handling things wasn't ideal.

"I'm not leader material; he knows what he's doing, I trust 'im. Just as long as he doesn't let 'em go hungry, that's just mean. You-- don't have to talk to him if things are still tense, I can talk to him, Clar. You don't need to go making things more difficult, it's-- not a secret to anyone here that you guys are, uh... going through a rough patch-- but it happens to everyone. Gio and Sasha have had some real big arguments over the years."
 
Laughing softly at his comment about being soppy, she smiled and released his hands with a shrug, "I might be a stubborn bitch like Tate, but I'm a teddy underneath it all, Anders. Surely you know that by now." She teased gently, head turning to look at the baby for a moment. Her gaze lingered there, wishing more than anything that she could absorb Anders' fears and anxieties just so she didn't have to acknowledge her own hurt and sadness. Of course there was the anger, and the irritation, but how could she focus on that when the former two emotions were too strong to ignore?

Exhaling, she forced herself to glance back to Anders, watching as he moved himself into a more relaxed position. She was grateful that she could provide him with a sense of relief, especially after everything he had done for her in her first few days of her new life. Clarissa didn't doubt that if she had lived as they had lived, that maybe she too would have been a bit dubious about this new development. However, considering how her life got turned upside down and she had found out everything she knew was a lie... it was safe to say she was a lot more open-minded about things now.

If Anders knew, and truly knew, that his mate was the male that sat tied up outside... then who was Clarissa to stop her friend, and little brother, from being with someone who would undoubtedly bring him happiness? And if they could make up a little family, with them two together with Teddy... she definitely wasn't going to stand in his way.

With everything she had learned, there was no chance in hell she would let anyone get in the way. Especially not Tate, whom she immediately knew would probably try and force his lack of want for a child onto Anders. She could already see it, with him trying to get Anders to pass Teddy off to Sasha and Gio.

"Nah... I'll talk to him. He'll still be pissed at me, no point makin' him pissed at you too." Her words were spoken lightly as she attempted to joke about the situation, but even she knew they fell flat. She turned her head away again, eyes settling once more on Teddy who seemed to be dozing for the time being. "I ain't... about to dump all my problems on you Anders, not when you've now got your own love life to worry about." She chuckled weakly.

Nimbly, Clarissa jumped down from the bunk bed to go to Teddy's side, sitting on the bed beside the cot just to begin gently rocking the cradle.

"Wouldn't surprise me if he's bein' a little harsher on them because of what we're goin' through. He either goes silent and moody, or he's snappy and brash. Either way, I ain't about to let him take it out on your mate, or you. So I'll speak to him... like I said, at least he'll already be in a mood with me. Besides, you know what I'm like, I ain't about to back down easy from him... s'probably the whole reason why we're together, cause I can deal with that shitty dominance-alpha-control thing he likes to pull."
 
Even though he had an inkling regarding just what the issue between the mates was, Anders wasn't prepared to bring it up and encourage Clarissa to open up to him. The way she looked at the baby said all he needed to know, all but confirmed that inkling for him, and while he wanted to help her relieve some of that stress from her shoulders, he didn't want to inadvertently upset her; accidentally pressuring her into revealing information she wasn't prepared to reveal.

If she wanted to keep it to herself for now, it wasn't a reflection on the strength of their friendship. They had a bond and Anders was secure enough to know that Clarissa felt as strongly about it as he did. If anything, her reluctance to open up to him was another example of her selflessness; a refusal to put more pressure on Anders when he was going through enough of it in his own personal life.

As eager as he was to lend a hand and be a pillar of support for her, he knew she would let him know when she felt it was appropriate to do so - and after he had just unloaded all of his secrets and the emotional dilemma they had stuck him in, apparently now wasn't that time.

"I mean, that's true. God knows how he'd be without you puttin' 'im in his place. I've had to deal with him my entire life; do you know how fuckin' difficult it was when we were younger, trying to play games with him? He'd force us all to abide by the rules he made up and he'd get real fuckin' stroppy if he lost; demand that we start again 'cos he's the oldest and toughest and it ain't fair if he loses. He's always been like it, Clar; you're a real saint for puttin' up with him."

With a snort, he placed a pillow between his head and the wall to get as comfortable as he could without actually laying down, wanting to be able to keep an eye on Teddy in case she woke up. He was the only person to have really spent any time with her and thus the only familiar face she really knew so far; he wanted her to be able to see him if she did stir awake, to know that he was always close by to comfort her. Of course, he didn't want to be the only person that ever spent any time with her. In an ideal world, Ronan would be on hand to help out and bond with her too, though when that didn't stand a chance at materialising just yet, Clarissa's presence was just as important.

"...You can come an' help out with her whenever you want, I ain't gonna stop 'ya. She must like 'ya or she'd have squirmed and grizzled by now, though she doesn't do much of that anyway. She's a real angel," he beamed proudly from the bed, lifting his head up a little to take in the scene. "I know she might get taken away by parents or relatives or somethin', I know not to get carried away with all this Clar, but-- she's literally the only chance I'm ever gonna get to be... a parent, y'know? It's hard not to, uh... get attached."
 
"I know... not all of us want'ta be uncles and aunties, right?" Clarissa murmured quietly, the words slipping out before she could really realise what she was saying. But it was all too coincidental, for Anders to be here discussing such a matter with her; worrying about not being able to get an opportunity to be a parent while Clarissa knew, sitting there, that she would never have that opportunity. It really did seem like they were two peas in a pod at that moment, but that didn't mean she would wish that feeling onto anyone. Especially not Anders.

Her eyes blinked and her brow furrowed as she came back to her senses, dragging her eyes away from Teddy to look up at the young male in question. As if finally hearing her own words, the frown sharply disappeared into a tired smile and she rubbed the back of her neck, "Nah I get ya," she then continued, as if she hadn't spoken before and hadn't responded to him at all, "She's an adorable lil' thing, how could you not get attached?" She chuckled, but the sound was hollow despite her best intentions.

Moving, Clarissa gently picked up the dozing child to once more hold in her arms. She did feel briefly guilty, as she watched the little nose wrinkle and lips turn downwards in displeasure of being disturbed. However it didn't take long for the babe's face to relax again.

She moved backwards to lay out on the bed, and carefully place Teddy on her chest. The baby's head turned to face Anders' direction, a small fist curled and pressed lightly against her own mouth while the other latched on to Clarissa's shirt. The female werewolf bent her head to brush her nose against the top of the baby's head, lips pressing there lightly afterwards before she allowed her head to fall back onto the pillow, a hand raising to rest on Teddy's back to ensure the baby didn't slip off.

It was a little painful, teasing herself with what could be. Clarissa even wondered if it would be better to simply try and act like Tate; as though she hated children and avoid them. But she knew she could never do that. It wasn't her.

"The one thing I was always certain of, even during all this, was that I'd be a-- a parent, someday," she finally confessed, voice hushed although she wasn't sure if that was because she didn't want to disturb Teddy or if she was a little anxious about Tate coming to find her and overhearing, "I thought it was a given. First as a human... an' then, while it was the last thing on my mind, as a werewolf. Yet..."
 
"...Yet Tate doesn't want to have any." Anders finished with a sympathetic smile. Part of him was relieved that she had opted to speak up about what was evidently weighing heavily on her mind because he knew the importance of being upfront and honest had on emotional and mental well-being - he might not be following that advice to its fullest, but he had opened up to Clarissa which was, for now, more than enough for him. Having the chance to get things off her chest with someone was, as far as Anders was concerned, the best thing Clarissa could do and he was more than willing to be that person for her to rant and rave to if that's what she needed to feel even a modicum better.

Yet with her revelation came the sudden pang of sadness for her have to utter those words aloud; to speak them into the universe and make her situation all the more real now she had confided in someone else about it. Guilt inevitably sunk in too - he had no reason not to show Teddy off to Clarissa when she was perhaps one of the biggest proponents for him looking after her, but to do so when he already had a hunch what her struggles were made him feel awful, as though he was throwing it in her face.

He hadn't done so intentionally and it probably didn't come across that way despite his fears, but he couldn't help but grimace to himself as though he had done something gravely wrong to compound all of her upsetting feelings even more.

Even if he had, there was no denying that holding Teddy at least made her happy, which was something he was eager to help with given the sadness she otherwise felt. It was probably a bittersweet moment, spending time with the baby despite knowing the likelihood for one of her own was slim, but Anders wanted to be positive; to try and offer her some hope so she could enjoy her time with Teddy without mourning the lost opportunity for herself with her own child.

However difficult it was to be positive when he was well aware, like most in the pack, that Tate really didn't harbour any paternal desires whatsoever.

"He, uh... he's never been fond of 'em but... but he might come around, Clar. He always said he never wanted a mate, said it'd distract him, but look at 'im now; he loves 'ya and wouldn't change any of what you've got together. Maybe-- Maybe he'll have some huge realisation one day and figure out that he'd be a great Dad? I... I dunno," he offered awkwardly, his attempts at maintaining positivity gradually diminishing the more he recalled just how intense Tate's dislike for children was, unable to stop himself remembering every single time Tate would casually remark how happy he was to go through his life without the 'burden' parenthood would be.

"...He could change his mind. As stubborn as he is, he... he might realise that he might like one of his own. Maybe if he spends time with Teddy? She's hard not to love, right? So maybe that'll ignite some spark in 'im?"
 
"We both know that's not going to happen, Anders. I-- I'm not about to let myself even hope for that." Clarissa answered, voice small as she stared up at the bunk above her head. Eventually she closed her eyes, fingers gently stroking against Teddy's back as she listened to the baby's breathing become a little heavier, suggesting a deeper sleep was found. "To hold on to that kinda hope... nah. I just gotta-- I guess I just gotta get-- get over it."

Swallowing thickly against the rising emotion, her brow furrowed as if needing to concentrate on focusing on something else. "Now you-- you said we got one of the alphas here? From the pack?" She questioned, but kept her eyes closed. The warmth of the babe's small body on her chest was oddly reassuring and relaxing, and Clarissa simply put it down to the odd hormones she was experiencing after such an intense first heat. Sasha hadn't mentioned anything, but Clarissa could only assume.

"I can't recall Tate mentionin' an alpha, but it wasn't as if we talked much about... what happened last night. You're goin' to have'ta update me on what I missed." She commented.

Clarissa knew she was behind on a lot of pack business. Three days out because of some stupid heat wasn't exactly helpful, and given the conversation from this morning, she hadn't been in the best mood to socialise and pretend to be okay. So any conversations about what would be done going forward would have been missed.

However she still wasn't overly keen to bring herself back into the reality of the pack, still hurting over everything that had been done and said. There was a small inkling of fear now too. Her heat made her three times as likely to conceive, and with that fear came another spark of anger toward Tate. He should have known better than to have done what he did last night. At least Clarissa wanted children, and she would be happy to live with whatever consequences that came. But Tate... he didn't want children. Yet still gave in to the heat and ignored the fact that he could end up with exactly what he didn't want.

"Update me while I get my day's worth of cuddles from my adopted niece. Though I can't promise to not fall asleep at some point... this day hasn't even started properly and I'm already fuckin' exhausted."
 
"I don't know much about what's gone on in camp if I'm honest; it was kinda hard to get any idea how things have been when last night was all about celebrating, but-- but yeah, the alpha's out there. Her mate survived, so he'll probably come lookin' for 'er which... ain't somethin' I wanna think about. I don't like conflict and... Tate 'as to figure out what to do about it. He can't just keep them tied up here; longer he does, the angrier I reckon they'll get. The alpha especially. She's-- she wasn't cruel to me back at their camp, but she's formidable; tough, y'know? She ain't gonna take being attacked and tied up lightly - I don't envy Tate 'cos I ain't gotta clue how I'd handle all this."

With a faint chuckle to try and diffuse the heaviness of his words, Anders reached over to gently run a thumb across Teddy's forehead, brushing back her hair affectionately as he had come to do naturally, without any sense of obligation. Teddy might not be his child when a relative could find her at any time and take her back, but it didn't stop him from treating her as if she was his flesh and blood, instinctively causing him to shower her with affection and want to protect her from any harm that could befall her.

For all intents and purposes, she was his daughter now (even if he knew that might just be a temporary thing) and he already knew he loved her. How Tate could proclaim with his whole chest that he never wanted children was beyond him - the man had qualities that would make him a wonderful father, after all. He was strong and brave; any child he had would be proud of him, boasting as they got a little older that he was their father. The fact he was reluctant to experience fatherhood bewildered Anders - though it wasn't his place to try and convince his older brother if the alpha's mind was made up.

However selfish he found it to be, he wasn't prepared to meddle in his brother's private affairs.

"...Hey, you can get some sleep, Clar. I'll probably just keep an eye on Teddy - I ain't going out of this hut. I can't go and sit with the others an' have a good time when Ronan is tied up, hungry and miserable. I'm better off in 'ere," he shrugged, another smile pulling at his face in yet another attempt to lighten up an atmosphere that could have easily teetered into becoming dark and upsetting. The entire situation for both of them was upsetting, granted, but he didn't want to constantly focus and dwell on that negativity, however easy it was to get caught up in the unfairness of it all.

"I ain't got anything else to really update 'ya, I wasn't paying much attention last night. I was kinda focused on Teddy an'-- keeping back some meat for Ronan. I snuck him some last night, let him have a few minutes outta the ropes. Tate would fucking... lose his shit if he knew that so don't go telling 'im. Not that you would, but still."
 
Exhaling heavily, Clarissa allowed her eyes to flutter closed as she considered the offer. She knew she would pass out rather easily, despite what had happened. She was exhausted, partly due to having gotten little sleep the night before but also due to the emotional torment of the conversation that morning. It would be so easy to just curl up on the bed and sleep the day away. Easy and simpler. However she knew she couldn't. She was the mate of the alpha and therefore one in her own right. Being forced onto the sidelines for the past three days was bad enough, but at least she had no choice. In that moment, she had a choice.

Reluctantly, she sat up, careful not to disturb Teddy too much as she did so.

"No... I gotta get back out there," she replied, albeit hesitant and unwillingly. Getting back out there meant having to put on a brave face, and having to deal with Tate and whatever mood he was in because of what was going on between them. "I can't avoid it forever, an'... an' I can't let the pack down. Even if I don't know what fuckin' use I am to them."

Tenderly, she passed the sleeping babe across to Anders and rolled her head, grimacing at a few pops and clicks that sounded from her neck and shoulders. "Besides, if Tate's out there being a miserable shit then I'm going to be the only one that's goin' be able to stop him from bein' a complete shit to that pack out there."

Clarissa pulled herself to her feet, hand reaching up to tentatively feel the bandage at the back of her neck. The one that covered the bite from her attack. She would need to change it soon, she had forgotten that morning, too occupied with making sure that Tate was alright instead.

"Let me know if you need anythin', alrigh'? An'... don't worry about Ronan, alrigh'? I'll make sure Tate doesn't do anythin'. I know it's a lot easier said than done but... but I know you trust me, an' I wouldn't let you down. I'll keep him as safe as I can."

Forcing a smile to her face, she quietly bent down to press her lips to Teddy's head, a hand soothing over the spot soon after. She then straightened and fondly ruffled Anders' hair, "Don't forget to feed yourself throughout the day, m'kay? Cause lookin' after a baby is goin' be exhaustin' and you're still recoverin'. I ain't fightin' for you to keep her if you pass out on day one." She then teased, attempting to fall back into her old self so it was at least easier to pretend to be okay when she went back out.
 
As beneficial as a nap might have been, and however eager Anders was to let Clarissa have that time to recuperate and refresh herself, he smiled quietly in understanding when she ultimately turned that offer down. She was just as much the alpha of the pack as Tate was, and while her three days locked away from them would be understood by each and every pack member, she still had a duty to be visible amongst them; to be on hand to rectify issues should any arise or to, at the very least, just be a central leadership figure to offer them comfort and a sense of safety and protection.

After everything that had happened to the pack, the importance of that was more emphasised than ever before.

As much as they might understand her need to rest and catch up on her sleep, there was a necessity for her to mingle in amongst her pack members after so many days away from them. They were all reunited now, a unite once more after weeks being disjointed in the absence of others, so Clarissa ought to be in amongst that, particularly after skipping out on the celebrations last night.

It was paramount she get back into the swings of things as quickly as possible, a fact Anders reluctantly understood and nodded his agreement to. He had no such pressures placed upon him, allowing him the chance to rest in his hut and devote time to Teddy - Clarissa currently didn't have that luxury now she was, effectively, the alpha. Such a role in the pack had unavoidable duties, including the prioritisation of the community above individual needs and wants.

Tate already felt guilty about having prioritised those needs and wants over his pack. As necessary as it was to dedicate time to Clarissa, it had been selfish and, ultimately, a risk not worth taking. His pack might have understood but he was racked with guilt and discomfort at the course of his own actions - he might have been spurred on to take those actions and encouraged by his mate to step into the hut and be with her but he knew he could have been stronger; maintained that indulging in their feelings during a heat was irresponsible and unfair to the pack when they needed his presence during the celebrations. He had shirked that duty and focused on individual needs; something he had told himself he would never do.

The fact he had given in was enough to cause him to moodily sulk beside the fire - the argument with Clarissa only solidified his misery, causing him to withdraw from his pack and dwell on his bitterness. Even the sight of Clarissa exiting his old hut didn't bring a smile to his face, instead causing him to grimace and feel his anger spike up within him once again.

But ignoring her throughout the whole day was childish and unfeasible - they had to interact and speak or their bitterness would make the entire pack uncomfortable; something he naturally wished to avoid.

"...I was going to go out on a hunt with the hunters. My injuries aren't so severe that I can't shift and help them out," he murmured as he set his eyes back on the flames, poking at it absently with a stick. "I shouldn't be too long; you can keep watch over things in my absence if you want. If not, Gio's a capable second-in-command."
 
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