A Wolf Among The Sheep

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Luana stopped in her steps at Anders words, staring at him in disbelief. It truly came as a shock, and she was incapable of hiding that. He had spoken so passionately before about coming out to everyone in the pack, and wanting things out in the open. Luana had been truly convinced that he had meant every word. Especially after all that had happened and the time he had spent apart from Ronan, she would have thought he would have wanted nothing more than to no longer hide his secret.

"Anders..." She began before falling silent, uncertain really of what to say. His mind had changed so quickly and so firmly, she wasn't sure any amount of convincing him back onto the path he once chose would actually work. She lowered the collection of wood onto the forest floor and stepped across to him, reaching a hand out to grasp his arm and pull him back to face her.

Her gaze flickered worriedly over him, not liking this sudden, pessimistic view that he had regarding probably the biggest announcement of his life, "Anders... has somethin' happened? Have you... have you an' Ronan had a fight or somethin'? Is that why you're... questionin' all this now?" She asked, not understanding how he could have made such a drastic change in beliefs, "Cause, y'know, you guys... you both deserve to live like a proper family, not hidin' in secrecy and stealin' kisses at night. It ain't fair on either of you, neither is it fair on Teddy."

She knew she probably was the last one to talk about what was fair and what wasn't, after keeping Tala and Tate apart for two years because of her own fears. But Anders had only just last night been talking about his future out in the open with Ronan.

"You can't let the pack get to you on this. It's cause of them you lost two years with Ronan as it is... don't... don't let them steal any more years from you." Luana's hand slipped down from his arm to take hold of his hand, "Besides, don't you think... don't you think you ought to let Ronan decide for himself what he does and doesn't wanna be subjected to? He loves you, Anders... I'm sure he'd walk on flaming coals for ya."

She tried to lighten things towards the end, but she knew it would be difficult, especially considering what they were talking about. She hated hearing how little Anders thought of himself. First Daisy and now Anders. It was heart breaking to realise that her loved ones were beating themselves down in the way they were and she hadn't been there to stop it.

"I just... I want you to be happy and... and in the long run, will you be happy? Livin' in secret like you're sayin' you will?"
 
"He can decide what he wants, but he ain't gonna tell 'em without me agreeing to it. He ain't an asshole, he wouldn't out me like that. I can decide what I wanna do for me, and what I wanna do is keep that shit to myself, Lu. I don't need to explain, it's my choice, ain't it? If I want to, y'know, enjoy my relationship to its fullest, doing so in secret is the only way of achievin' that," he shrugged casually as though the choice didn't weigh heavily on him; as though his decision didn't make him want to scream out in pain that hiding everything was the option he saw the greatest chance of happiness in.

It wasn't fair that he felt he had to subject himself to a life of secrecy just to be happy when others got to be open and express their love without feeling such obligations, but that was the way it was and he didn't see an alternative to it. Sure, he could be open and shrug off the concerns of a pack that claimed to care for him, but how long could he actually manage to act as though they weren't getting to him?

How long could Ronan deal with judgement, violence (as Luana's circumstances proved, some members of the pack weren't afraid to take things to that extent to emphasise their feelings) and discomfort?

How long could Teddy be spared from it before she too was brought into the argument and overheard discussions about her fathers from a displeased pack?

Secrecy was the only way to prevent all of that, even if it ran the risk of repeating the mistakes from two years ago. Ronan had left primarily because Anders had failed to declare the love he held for him, preferring to stay quiet and watch his mate disappear into the woods for the best part of two years. He had promised not to replicate that, to stand up for his love and defend what they had in the face of judgement... but evidently, such confidence had been fleeting because he had quickly backtracked and no longer held that desire; not when he only foresaw difficult, uncomfortable times ahead of them that he could easily spare them of if he kept his mouth shut.

"I told 'ya, I don't want to talk about it, Lu. I appreciate it, but I fuckin' know what I'm doin' an'-- I'm not sad about it. I'm not dumping him, we aren't splitting up or nothin'. We're just keeping what we have private an'... it stays special that way, it doesn't get poisoned by the pack. I'm protecting what we have, that ain't a bad thing. I don't get why you're gettin' at me to change my mind when I'm... doing the right thing, Lu. Now, just-- get that firewood, yeah? I don't wanna miss Teddy and Tala fishin', I know they're looking forward to us watching 'em."
 
"Anders-" Luana cut off as he continued, adamant that he didn't want to talk about it. However, the frown that had settled on her features showed that she didn't agree with it, nor did she like it, not one bit. Her hand slipped from his as she forced herself to come to terms with his desires, wondering what the hell happened to make him change his mind so drastically. It was just last night that he had be speaking of being open with the pack. The strength, the confidence he possessed... admittedly it wasn't something she had seen often from Anders. But it warmed her to see it from him because of love for his mate.

She knew what she would say may have been harsh sounding, so made sure to bite her tongue. To her, it simply felt like he was taking the easy way out. He had her and now Daisy (even if he didn't know it) to be by his side, and he was only supposing how the pack would react. Then there was Ronan... how would he react to this? He had been told by his mate that they would stand side-by-side together regardless of what was thrown at them, and now his mate was making a life-changing decision without even consulting him. Not to mention...

"This isn't just about your relationship, though, Anders. Ronan won't ever be able to interact with Teddy like a father would with a daughter, if you decide to keep quiet." Luana voiced her last thought out loud, watching him cautiously, "He would have to do exactly what he's doing now, stealing moments with her and getting confused, suspicious and unsettled glances his way. And she's not going to be able to treat him like her second father in public. Is that... is that what you really want?"

She lingered for a moment longer before bending down to pick up the collection of wood she had put down to take his hand. "I ain't pretending to know what you're goin' through. I'd understand it to a degree but we're still what the pack expects of mates. But... maybe it's about time they realise mates aren't always what we think. Besides... you have no idea who else might be hidin' the truth either because they're afraid to announce it to the world too. I just... I don't agree that this is the right thing to do, but you know I'll support ya no matter what."

Watching him for a second more, Luana finally turned and picked her way back towards the spot they had set up at, "C'mon then, before we get into trouble for missin' them."
 
Inevitably, he almost flinched at the mention of his daughter - though more so the indication that he hadn't considered the effect the secrecy would have on her. He knew it was unfair for her to lead a life whereby she couldn't even hug her own father if they were out amongst the pack when her own cousin could do so without consideration or a hint of hesitation. He knew it was fundamentally cruel to neglect her the chance to grow up in a scenario where she could be openly raised by the two parents she loved and have the family all the friends she would make were able to take for granted.

It wasn't right... but he didn't consider the unfairness of that to be better than the other option; a life feeling judged, criticised, even hurt by people around her she was supposed to trust enough as though they were family members themselves. It was all speculation borne from fear and doubt, but Anders couldn't risk opening up to everyone only for his worst fears to come to life and for his mate and daughter, the two people he loved the most, to be subjected to cruelty and hardships.

That would wreck their family far more than just keeping a lid on it ever could.

Perhaps he was a coward, perhaps he was acting cruel and selfish... but he couldn't see a time where he would back down anytime soon. That sole glance from Tate had cemented every fear Anders had held and budging them was a feat he doubted even Ronan could achieve.

Luana's obvious disagreement with his choice didn't make him feel great, but he was determined to ignore it; to push back the words resting on his tongue in order to gather the rest of his firewood and head back to the little clearing with a bright smile on his face. He wasn't the greatest at masking his emotions, but focusing on Teddy and her excitement did allow the smile to become genuine, unable to fake it a moment longer when the sight of his daughter pestering her uncle to get on with fishing made him snort in amusement.

"Don't go annoyin' your uncle or he won't help 'ya out, Teddy. Be nice," he called out with a faint chuckle rising from his throat, taking a moment to swallow back the lump that had formed there during the emotional confessions with Luana. Pushing all of that aside in order to actually enjoy the day out was all he wanted to do, and he took those few seconds to try and put everything to the back of his mind. He couldn't do so forever, not when this was a conversation he would need to have with his mate at some point... but for now, he could ignore it and focus on creating some nice memories with the people he cared about.
 
The remnants of the frown that were left on Luana's expression were easily seen by Ronan, whose laughter slowly died off as he saw his mate and friend return from collecting firewood. However, Anders' chuckle and amused response left him confused as to what happened while they were gone for merely minutes. It wasn't as if he could ask, though, since Luana busied herself with setting up the fire and he couldn't exactly go asking Anders. Not to mention, he had noticed the looks Tate had been shooting his way as he played with Teddy and helped her set up the fishing rod while Tate explained things.

The sooner things were known, the better. Then at least he didn't have to hold back on helping out Teddy, because, at the moment, he took a bit more of a backseat role and allowed the other male to do most of the talking, not wanting to step on any toes.

Luana, meanwhile, worked on the fire with her back partially kept to the rest of the group. Her frown deepening as she tried to figure out what had happened to make Anders take the turn he had. Perhaps Lyle and Chester made some sort of crude joke in the family hut that bothered Anders... but then he seemed alright that morning. Granted she had been distracted by all that happened with Tate, but he didn't seem upset when he returned, if anything just eager to see his mate again.

She would support Anders regardless of what he decided, but that didn't mean she had to like it.

"Mumma!"

Luana turned from her fire building to see Tala holding up the fishing rod, albeit struggling slightly, not that the little girl showed it. Chuckling, she left the kindling of wood and pushed herself up to her feet, approaching her daughter and mate to join them for a moment at least.
 
Ronan wasn't the only one to notice the frown that had lingered on Luana's face as she returned to the clearing, with Tate having glanced up and across to her in time to acknowledge the expression. And again, like Ronan, the contrast to Anders' apparent cheeriness only confused him, his own frown appearing as he tried to discern what could have happened to have made Luana appear so dissatisfied, especially when Anders appeared nothing of the sort.

Though merely contemplating what was wrong with her, rather than being willing to have open discussions about their thoughts and feelings, was part of the reason they had fought in the past, assumptions forming and remaining unclarified. He was entirely serious about giving things a go with her the second time around and proving that he could evolve from the mistakes that had broke them in the first place - so asking her what was wrong (even if he feared her displeasure was with something he had done or said) was at least a start on the right track.

He couldn't continue to fear potentially upsetting conversations when they were vital to repairing a problem and moving forward.

Ruffling Tala's hair with a proud smile at her eagerness, he stepped back to let the cousins interact when Luana approached, sharing the smile with her for a brief moment before meeting her gaze.

"Everythin' alright? You, uh... came back with a big ol' frown on your face so clearly somethin' ain't good with 'ya," he broached carefully, leaning back against the trunk of the great oak tree behind him, both to appear casual and to shield the morning sun from his face. His eyes only averted to ensure the toddlers weren't wandering too near to the river - despite its slow stream, all it took was one current to put the girls in danger.

"You can tell me, y'know. I don't... wanna shy away from these sorts of conversations with 'ya, Lu. We can have them an' I won't go stropping off into a tantrum if you tell me I've done somethin' upsetting. I wanna be, ah... supportive."
 
Unable to help the surprise that overtook her features at his question, she blinked up at him twice as she tried to comprehend what he had just asked. Luana hadn't expected him to say anything, just as he didn't usually before she left two years ago. She knew back then the only way he would find out what was going on in her head was because she came to him and told him, rather than him asking her. She had expected things to be the same, and therefore didn't think he would call her out, as such, about the expression she had failed to hide.

Then a smile broke out across her features, replacing the shock, and she longed to reach up to kiss his forehead. However, she kept herself from doing so, not truly feeling as though she could just yet. Her hands slipped into her pockets and she moved to lean against the tree he too had chosen, her shoulder pressing against the trunk as they watched the two girls together.

"I was just talkin' to him about Daisy," Luana lied easily, though not enjoying the fact that she had to. There had been plenty of lies between them already, and Luana knew she didn't want it to be that way anymore. It was Anders and Ronan's secret, after all, but if she and Tate were truly going to try... she couldn't hide anything from him again. Especially not something that included his family.

For now, though, she continued with the lie, since it was still something she wanted to talk to him about. "She's run off her feet, bein' the only healer in the pack. No one wants to help her or wants to learn an' I'm worried it's gettin' to her. She ain't gettin' the time just to... be a kid, y'know, have time with friends or meet someone who could be a partner or maybe even her mate." She pushed away from the tree, "But we can talk about that later, it can wait." Luana smiled, glancing to him.

She lingered there for a moment before hesitantly taking a hand from her pocket to reach up and brush some strands of hair back at the side of his head. "Thank you... for askin'. It means a lot." She murmured, pulling her hand back and returning it back to her pocket.

"Right, let's help the little madam. You might be willin' to not throw a strop anymore, but I can tell ya now, this one has inherited your tantrums." Luana then teased, eyes returning to Teddy and Tala as Ronan took over trying to help them get the lines into the water after baiting the hooks.
 
There were a plethora of reasons for Luana's distress, though Daisy and her current predicaments weren't ones Tate had assumed - namely because he didn't assume there to be any reason to feel concern for his sister in the first place. He hadn't been aware of her problems because from what he observed, she seemed perfectly fine, enjoying her work as she always did. If she didn't tell him -or Luana hadn't done so on her behalf- he would never have got even the slightest of inklings that his little sister was struggling with her workload.

In that way, she was just like Tate; keeping her issues held back in order to serve and benefit her pack, who relied heavily on her. He could understand that more than most people when he had the same mentality - but he had always thought she enjoyed having so much work to do. He didn't necessarily enjoy the amount of responsibilities he had, but he took them all on because it was his duty and not once had he envisioned that ever changing (nor did he want it to). Daisy, evidently, wasn't the same way: she wanted time for herself and when she had to work, she wanted someone to aid her, to take some of that pressure of.

In a way, he didn't think there was much that could be done to give her free time when she was in a job that required total dedication... but Daisy was also his little sister, the youngest of all his siblings and the one he perhaps sought to protect the most because of it. He didn't want her struggling if everything was too much for her, and he certainly didn't want her youth dominated by work if she wanted more from it - just because Tate had dedicated all his years to his work didn't mean his siblings had to also.

He might prefer that from them, but he wouldn't force them to do anything they were uncomfortable with. It was why Anders wasn't involved in the hunts, after all.

"Yeah, I, uh... didn't... think of it, really. I thought she enjoyed the work-- but course she doesn't like havin' so much of it all the time without help, I get that. An' look, I'm out havin' some fun an' some free time so... yeah, we can talk about it later but I'll sort it for her. She doesn't have to feel she's stuck in this situation, I'll get her some assistance an'... make sure she has time to have some fun. With friends; not with boys. I ain't ready for her to start datin'," the alpha muttered with faux sternness, an act that melted the moment his smile broke through. He didn't enjoy the thought of his sister starting to date and get involved in romance... but she also wasn't a baby anymore; she was an adult who could, for the most part, do what she wanted.

He could -and would- keep an eye on her, but she was more than entitled to let loose a little. Tate never had, but he had been brought up knowing he would be an alpha when he was older. There wasn't much room in his schedule for fun when he had always been aware of the duties he would one day dedicate himself to.

"Ah, you don't need to tell me that, I've seen a tantrum or two with my own eyes. She's a chip off the ol' block, huh?" He grinned once the attention turned back to their daughter, his hand raising to scratch the back of his cheek - though it also helped to block the slight blush (borne from her brushing strands of his hair) resting there from view.

"Shame Anders ain't a fan of fishin', he's missing out." Tate continued as he approached the water with the fishing rod in hand, casting a glance back at his brother who had situated himself on the blanket to set out a few of the snacks. "He'd only start being sick everywhere if he took part though. I love him to death but the kid's a right wuss."
 
"We just... we had a conversation this mornin', she took me to... calm down... y'know, after everythin'." He cheeks warmed as she explained while they walked, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly, "An' I just... I felt bad for her, s'all. She's doin' everythin' she can for the pack an'-- no, no. Don't get me wrong, she loves her work. But she... so like today, she would've loved to have come along today to be with her nieces, but she can't cause... y'know, she's got to be available for those that need help in the pack."

Luana knew it wasn't a big secret to hide, the conversation she had with Daisy, but while it may have been better to have let Daisy talk to Tate herself, she knew it was better than really revealing to Tate there and then what her frown was really about.

However, she was also aware that Anders' decision had also put her in a tough spot. He didn't want Tate to know, but Luana had had enough of secrets being kept from each other, especially now with this new leaf they were trying to turn over. She didn't want anything hidden from her mate, and she didn't need for shit to break loose again if Tate were to find out she had known all this time. It wasn't her secret to tell, but if Tate was continuously be guessing what Ronan meant to her or why he was so friendly with Teddy... Tate at least needed to know.

"Yeah well... you ain't see the worst of her tantrums yet." Luana mused, focusing back onto the conversation at hand as she was grateful it moved on from her to their daughter.

Her head turned and with it, her gaze landed back on him. Once more she took in the sight of the beard he had grown, observed the definition that had been chiselled out in his features. A small, timid smile tentatively curled the corners of her lips before she allowed her eyes to dart away again, startled by the squeal of Tala as she got splashed.

"To be fair to 'im, I ain't a big fan of the guttin' part neither. The catchin' an' eatin', that I can do. But gettin' all the insides out..." Her nose wrinkled and she shook her head, "That ain't for me. You can teach her that by yourself."

Tala, meanwhile, glanced over her shoulders to see her parents approaching. In her excitement, she dropped the rod, leaving Ronan to hastily lean forward to grab it so it didn't float out into the middle of the river. "Dada goin' fish too? Can Tala help?" She enquired, hand reaching up to grab the bottom of the rod.

Luana raised an eyebrow, "You have your own rod, Tala, an' Uncle Ronan has just made sure the river didn't swallow it. Go get it, apologise an' thank Uncle Ronan, an' maybe then you an' your Pa can fish together."

The little girl hesitated, pausing in her attempts to make the rod bounce up and down in Tate's hand. Clearly not wanting to leave them alone, Tala's lips pouted softly in protest after having enough time to think about it, "But wanna use Dada's--"

"Tala," Luana's voice was soft but full of warning, and the toddler's pout got bigger, "Otherwise we can pack up an' go straight home." The reaction was instant, with Tala's eyes widening, "Sorry, sorry, sorry. Mumma please, sorry!"

Having to swallow back a chuckle at her daughter's behaviour, she nodded towards Ronan, "Go on then, quickly. Otherwise Teddy's goin'to've caught all the fish an' you'll get none." A rapid series of nods came from Tala, who made her way back to her uncle to do as she had been told.
 
"There ain't nothin' easier than guttin' a fish. You're really gonna tell me you're squeamish about it? The big, tough alpha that you are can't handle scoopin' out a few organs?--" Tate began teasingly as he glanced across at her in genuine surprise, albeit without any judgement or true derisiveness. He was in no doubt over the other's capabilities as an alpha, aware her strength and dedication were qualities that stood her in good stead. Her inability to get as involved in the fishing as he was was in no way a detriment; it wouldn't make her any less of the alpha she undeniably was.

He only paused from continuing to lightly tease her when Tala approached, peering down at the toddler with his smile spreading before he could help it. He knew he ought to adopt a similarly stern stance to ensure their daughter realised when she had done wrong, to acknowledge the behaviour and apologise for it, but he also couldn't help but grin when he could see himself in her, and he found it far too adorable to keep a straight face.

He had grown up knowing the responsibilities he would one day take over from his father, but it had also often led to him having tantrums when he didn't get what he wanted - or what he thought he needed. In those moments, he was prone to stomping his feet and sticking his lip out in a similar fashion - and some would probably say that even now, Tate would storm off in a tantrum if he didn't get to do what he wanted. Hell, his relationship with Luana had partly broken down because he was stubborn and refused to listen; he had effectively thrown a tantrum when she wouldn't do what he wanted and been far too stubborn to apologise for it until recently.

He knew Tala couldn't continue on with the behaviour (he didn't want her jeopardising something she loved later in life like he had because of it) but she was a toddler; her behaviour was somewhat more justifiable. That said, he didn't want to contradict Luana's ruling - he quickly nodded in agreement and attempted to look a little sterner even if he found it hard to do so.

"She's a right little handful, ain't she? I can't be mad at 'er though, I've acted like that in my adult years. Throwing a tantrum, gettin' angry when things don't go my way," he snorted, his expression forming back into a smile once Tala returned to the edge of the river beside her uncle and cousin. He observed for a moment more before venturing forward the rest of the way to join them, setting the bait on the end of the hook before setting the line in the water and resting back on a rock to patiently wait.

"Fishin' ain't too dissimilar from hunting. You gotta learn patience and wait for the right time to make a move-- keep that in mind, yeah? It ain't all action all the time," he murmured across to the toddlers, grinning to himself at Teddy's tongue sticking out in concentration, her eyes focused on the water. "...Do you wanna come and give it a go, Lu? You said you don't like guttin' but catching the fish won't be a problem, hm?"
 
"I'm the same on a hunt. Can bring the beasts down but just... can't get into the grisly stuff afterwards." Luana admitted once Tala had ventured off and they were free to pick up their conversation. "Fish's the worst, though. Bloody stinks, the insides. It don't make me sick but I can't deal with it smellin' on my skin afterwards, no matter how hard you try to scrub it off. I still get a bit of... sensory overload, or whatever, from time to time. Y'know, still bein' new to this and whatever."

Her nose wrinkled at the memory of such a time, as she fished and went hunting for the first time with members of her parents' pack. She had gotten stuck in, as she had been expected too, but found that the lingering scent of offal on her hands, despite how well she bathed afterwards, made her irritated. And just like she said, the smell was potent, not exactly one that you could just ignore. However, the thrill of the chase on a hunt... that was something Luana had come to love. It was where she felt most in her element, like she was truly being who she was meant to be. It had been where she could forget about her troubles, and simply focus on being an alpha. That innate part of her taking over to provide for her pack and her pup.

Luana settled besides him on the river edge, about to answer him regarding Tala before the toddler clambered over one of Luana's outstretched legs, her fishing rod in hand and the line dragging behind her in the water. The little girl plopped down between Luana's legs, causing her to chuckle warmly and lean forward to press a kiss to the back of Tala's head.

"I've got my hands full with this one, it seems." She smiled in response to his question, hands running over the braids in Tala's hair as the girl struggled to get the rod in a comfortable position, causing the line to continue moving. Luana knew she could say that she needed to keep still, but she was also aware that this was Tate's time to teach his daughter something new. Luana had lots of firsts with Tala, while Tate had none. She was more than willing to let him have them now that they were together again. So she kept silent, waiting for Tate to teach the lesson instead.

Not wanting to discourage him, though, she glanced across to him, her smile becoming a little more timid, "...But maybe... we can come again some other time. Just... us. I do need to work on my fishin', not had much practice with it, after all."

The suggestion was clearly very hesitant, with the young woman uncertain in herself regarding making that offer. Them being together as a family was one thing, but doing something where it was just the two of them... that was another matter entirely.

"Or-- or we could do somethin' different, a run or a hunt or-- or somethin' completely... somethin' else. Or nothin' at all. We don't need to do anythin', not if you don't want to. You'll be busy, after all an'... an' needin' to do things for the pack. I shouldn't've-- Was just a suggestion really, just a thought..."
 
"Oof, you're not making yourself sound any better. Can't gut a fish, can't see off a hunt. Remind me again why you're so confident you'd take me down in a fight, Lu? 'Cos you're making my confident skyrocket with all these confessions; you sound like a right wimp, darlin'," the fellow alpha snorted as he glanced back across at his mate, his smirk only growing at the teasing. He knew she was in on the joke and wouldn't take his words seriously, or he wouldn't have dared to mention them in the first place.

Despite all of the tense conversations full of anger, hurt and pain, it did feel like they had come out the other side now. A side where, in spite of the difficulties the pack would undoubtedly present them with, they could move forward together, optimistic of their future. Just moments like this was emblematic of that ideal - teasing her affectionately and sharing in the intimacy of the little clearing, not just feeling comfortable in her presence but convinced that that was where was meant to be. All of it just felt... right, and it was the sort of future he was determined to create with Luana regardless of what obstacles they had to overcome to achieve it.

As long as he was with her, he had no doubt they would overcome it all and be all the better for it. They each had an awareness of their past mistakes to work on; they knew what behaviour not to repeat in future, so Tate, for once, was entirely positive that what they had was special and though they were early into their reunion, it felt more intact now than it ever had been. Perhaps that was just in his opinion rather than a fact, but he had never felt this determined to make things work with her before.

He had the experience of a life without Luana now, which made him determined to prevent living that sort of reality again. He would confront all his mistakes and flaws, open himself up to deep, difficult conversations, take time off work to dedicate moments to their relationship... he would do it all if it ensured they worked better now than they did in the past.

It was why her suggestion of taking time out to spend together, alone, was one he eagerly sought to approve. He only paused from the immediate agreement when acknowledging the stammering; how she seemed to stumble almost nervously over her words in case she had somehow overstepped a mark or moved too fast when it wasn't the case. Her caution only made Tate smile as he reached across to take her hand, offering it a gentle squeeze in reassurance.

"I think that sounds great, Lu. Mind you, anythin' sounds great if I get to spend time with you, but we could come back and do a spot of fishin' or go on a hunt if you fancied it. A hunt would be ideal, actually. You can show me how faster and stronger you've gotten 'cos-- clearly you've been workin' on it. I wanna see it in action," he remarked as he returned his hand to the fishing rod, his eyes moving to the water soon after - though the optimistic smile remained in place on his features now Luana had emphasised her desire to spend that time with him; to work on rebuilding what they once had had together.

"I got stuff to do with the pack, sure... but I'm gonna take some time out every week to spend on you or Tala, Lu. I ain't gonna be so focused on workin' that I miss out on my mate and my daughter, an' giving them the time they need from me. So I'll organise somethin' out, make sure I get time to spend with you both. My Pa had six kids an' he always made time for each of us, never left us feelin' ignored. I shouldn't 'ave any trouble."
 
"Oh trust me, I can see off a hunt, darlin' ," she bared her teeth playfully, the expression melting into a grin not long afterwards, "I can do all the hard work of bringin' it down, just not all that... squishy stuff." Luana shook her head at the mere thought, nose once more wrinkling, "Takin' things down... I've learned I've got an art to that." She continued afterwards, glancing across to him with the smirk back on her lips, "So, just wait till you see me in action, sweetheart, then you'll see how wrong you are."

After that, she allowed the silence to settle between them. For the first time, it wasn't one that was tense or awkward, but rather amicable and even comfortable. There was still a tension to her shoulders that probably would leave for a while, unable to help the anxiety and the desire to still keep her guards up. However, the longer she sat there, the more the sharpness to her features seemed to disappear. She would lean forward to whisper things to Tala, helping readjust the girl's grip on the rod with the basic understanding she had about fishing herself. She knew she had nothing on Ronan or Tate, who had clearly been doing it their whole lives, but she knew the beginners version along with what came with common sense.

She gave him her attention at he replied to her suggestion of them doing something together, alone, some day soon. Still slightly bent over from her murmuring to Tala. Luana straightened, averting her gaze bashfully at his comments. She knew she had commented on her new prowess during a hunt, a feat she wouldn't have been able to acknowledge two years ago. Hell, she wouldn't have even been allowed on a hunt two years ago. But that didn't mean she would brag about it seriously. All her comments were made in jest and often to aid their teasing banter.

Him acknowledging the effort she had gone to to become who she was now, it meant a lot. It was, after all, all done for him and the pack. "And... and I want you to see it. I... worked... hard, to become this. For you, for the pack. To be the alpha the pack deserved... to be the mate you deserved..." She confessed softly, keeping her hands on Tala's head as her fingers ran down her daughter's braids, "S'...s'one of the reasons I went, to be honest, Tate. I just didn't feel... good enough for you. I was a weak lil' fledgling wolf. You needed someone strong by your side, that knew the laws and the rules and the traditions... I wasn't that."

Luana knew that telling him that, right there and then, probably wasn't the right thing to do. It was more personal, better suited for a private setting. But the opening came, and she wasn't about to let that chance to explain herself get passed up.

"Tell me about your Pa... we... never got a chance to talk about your parents before." She then changed the subject, glancing up to him again after soothing a fidgeting and impatient Tala, "I remember Daise sayin' before that she looks a bit like your Ma, an' people see your Ma in her sometimes... but tell me about them, I wanna know, if you're willin' to tell me."
 
Perhaps the confession was one that ought to have taken place in private, where he could properly respond to her without restriction to reassure and encourage her in equal measure, but he couldn't deny her the opportunity to get something off her chest. He was the first to realise how helpful it was to emotionally unload something that had been left unsaid and begun to weight him down - he was so used to doing so for much of his life that he didn't realise how much he had been carrying around with him until Luana helped him to open up, albeit in the privacy of the hut that had once been their shared home.

This wasn't a private setting so he knew he would struggle to be emotionally available to her, but he wanted to try. He had no doubt that his refraining from openness outside of his hut had played a part in her leaving (he hadn't been able to beg her to stay and make sacrifices for her in front of his observing pack, after all) so just a little attempt to make some changes was, for him, a huge improvement.

"You were always the person I deserved, no matter how weak you thought you were. I never thought that. You were always... stronger than me. P'haps not physically but you were the one to hold me together when things got tough, right? When you were goin' through some shi-- some tough times, you put that aside to help me, Lu. You were always good enough for me," he clarified as he offered her hand a final squeeze before returning it to his rod, his soft smile edging into a smirk at his own thoughts.

Nothing he had said was a lie, he had always loved her and always would regardless how much work she put into being a strong, tough alpha... but he could be a liar if he said he didn't approve of her new aesthetic. It wasn't the point of the hard work she had put it, he knew that, but it was a fact regardless - he had always found her attractive but there was something about her now that ensured most of his thoughts were occupied by her.

He would have emphasised it, though doing so in front of the children and Ronan didn't seem right. Besides, he assumed Luana could gather how he felt just through one or two of his glances.

His smile softened when his parents were brought up, taking a moment to encourage the toddlers to remain patient before even considering how to reply. The fact they hadn't discussed his parents in great detail was surprising when the pair had been alphas before Tate took over, which was worth talking about in itself, but he also knew he shied away from talking about them when they had been taken from his family so soon and so abruptly. It hurt to talk about, but it had gotten easier as time passed, so much so that he smiled at their memories now rather than grow upset at any mention of them.

"Oh yeah, Daisy's the spit of our Ma. Looks just like 'er. I see it in Tala too. My Ma was like Anders though. Gentle, kind, would go outta her way to help anyone. My Pa was tougher, real stern when he wanted to be, but-- he'd get this twinkle in his eyes, y'know? As tough as he could be, he had fun with us, played about with us when he could. Taught me everythin' I know. They-- I ain't exaggeratin', they were the best, Lu. I wish you coulda met 'em, they'd have loved 'ya," he admitted with a quick look across at his mate, smiling to assure her he was okay and he could continue to talk without any threat of becoming too emotional.

"An'... y'know, the love they had for one another was... everyone said it, it was special. Hell, if you needed any evidence for how much they loved each other, they had six kids in as many years. Kinda proves how they couldn't keep their hands off each other, doesn't it?" He snorted as a hand reached to rub the back of his neck, the only sign that it was becoming a little difficult for him being the bite on his bottom lip. "It's, uh... it just sucks that they're gone. They reckon my Pa died of a broken heart when my Ma went, which-- it makes sense. He worshipped her. Then I took over an'-- that's that, I guess. Just gotta get on with it, don't I?"
 
Gather she did, the side glances he threw her way after her confession, seeming to linger over the new curves that were no longer hidden by baby fat or the sharpness of her facial features that had come into place due to a high-intensity training, reminded her of some of the hungrier looks he had given her before she left. The night he marked her, and then the night Tala was conceived. Her cheeks flushed, her blood warming and causing her to fidget. Not out of discomfort, however.

Her thumb softly stroked the back of his on reflex as he squeezed her hand, reluctantly allowing him to pull away afterwards. Her hand returning to gently wrap around Tala's stomach, fingers entwining with the other hand which looped in from the other side of the toddler.

Her looking more attractive for him had never been part of the plan, but even Luana couldn't argue that the shedding of some of the unnecessary fat through training and diet hadn't made her feel more confident in her own self. Not that she had gotten any better at flirting. But luckily it seemed she didn't need any additional flirting help when it came to her mate.

She allowed the topic to die away, not wanting to prolong discussing one of the deeper fears she held and probably would hold until the day she died. After all, she didn't tell him about it because she sought sympathy. The reassurance settled her, of course, but the reason she mentioned it was because it was truly one of the reasons why she left. From his behaviour, she guessed he understood the other reasons, but this one was one she had never divulged to him before.

So now that was off her chest, Luana was more than happy to let the topic float away on the breeze, and focus on what he had to say about his parents.

Her lips formed a soft smile, head turned and eyes lingering on her mate so he knew he had her full and undivided attention. "They sound amazing," she told him, freeing a hand to reach out and press it against his knee, "I'd've loved to have met them. Sounds like they loved each other a lot... at least they got to experience that, not many people do." She spoke not just about what she had learned about some werewolves not finding their mates, but also from what she had seen in the village.

"What... what happened...? To your Ma, I mean. If-- If it's too difficult to talk about, you can tell me later. We don't need to talk about it now."
 
"No, we, uh... we can talk about my Ma, that ain't... it ain't easy, obviously, but we can talk about her. You gotta know sometime, right? Better now when I'm gettin' it all off my chest," he shrugged, though his focus on getting the words from his mouth somewhat dipped when noticing movement in the water around one of the lines.

When Teddy proceeded to squeal excitedly at the sensation of something tugging at the rod, he dropped the conversation (albeit temporarily) in order to focus on giving his niece some advice on what to do next. His focus was so narrowed in on the water and guiding her through reeling the line in that he didn't acknowledge the little girl peering up at Ronan with a toothy smile, eager to show off in front of her father and earn his pride.

Fortunately sparing Anders further discomfort and panic (he inevitably would have caused such moments in his brother if he was spotted peering over at Ronan and Teddy's interactions with confusion at the assumed overstepping of a boundary), the alpha broke into a wide grin of his own at the sight of the pike at the end of the line, whistling in admiration.

"Got yourself a pike, Teddy-- that's a decent sized one too. Mind you, I reckon Tala's gonna catch a big one too; nothin' wrong with a bit of friendly competition, ay?" He teased as he congratulatorily patted his niece's shoulder, easing back to allow Ronan to help the little girl collect her fish, which she grabbed and darted across to Anders to show it off.

With a few words of encouragement to his daughter (he didn't want her getting discouraged at the current lack of any fish of her own), he leaned to kiss the top of her head to consolidate his support before smiling apologetically at Luana for the break in their conversation. With his post resumed, his eyes drifted back onto the glittering blue of the river, the clarity of the water and its gentle stream bringing some much-needed calm for his mind so it didn't become overwhelmed by a grief he hadn't really ever found the time to explore properly.

"...She cut her leg an' it got infected. Died within the week. S'why I reckon Daisy's so focused on her work, y'know? Why she went into healin'. Our Ma went out so quickly, it was so... sudden. I just reckon Daisy doesn't want anyone else going through what we went through. She wants to help folks," he reasoned with another shrug, peering up at the trees once the breeze seemed to pick up and cause some leaves to flitter to the ground around them. "My Pa went a month after that. Too much stress on his heart; probably from the grief, I dunno. It was-- hard, y'know? Losing 'em both so quick like that, but, uh... we managed. An' I think we're all doing 'em proud, so I'm-- yeah, I'm alrigh'."
 
Ronan put the two rods down away from the edge of the water so they wouldn't get caught in whatever current waited under the surface and followed after Teddy, knowing that Anders probably wouldn't appreciate a slimy, wet, still-alive fish flapping around in his face. Therefore, also allowing him time with his two family members, while the three at the water's edge continued to enjoy one another's company.

Tala, as expected, wasn't impressed that her cousin had managed to capture a fish before her, and looked ready to throw one of her little tantrums. However, Tate's words came just at the right time, settling the toddler before she could explode. Luana couldn't help but breath an inaudible sigh of relief, eyes briefly closing with it. She truly loved Tala, but sometimes the competitive spirit she inherited from her parents plus her short-temper did make for some bad tantrums, and she did become exhausted from time to time. But having Tate there to immediately soothe the ticking timebomb that was their daughter... it eased her to know she was no longer alone.

Pacified for now, Tala went back to positioning her rod and going still again, except for the occasional drumming of rhythm of her palm against Luana's right shin.

"Oh Tate... I'm so sorry," Luana answered quietly once the truth finally came out, her brow furrowing as she watched her mate. She smiled a little at the mention of Daisy, and their mother being the reason why the youngest Rivers' child went into healing. Her hand remained on his knee for support and she gave it the lightest of squeezes, "Of course you all are. They'd be so proud of all of you right now... I'm certain of it."

There was a guilt that lingered, as she felt bad for making him talk about his parents there and then. But she hadn't realised it was going to be such a heart breaking story to tell. The idea that his father soon passed afterwards because of a broken heart was just... unfathomable. But then, she remembered how she felt when she heard Tate had tried to take his own life. The mere thought of Tate dying... well it had her wanting to be sick.

"Oh hey-- look." She glanced out to the river as Tala's line began to jump, "Look's like you've caught something, little bear. Before your Pa too." She chuckled, helping Tala to her feet as she grew excited, looking to her father for help.

"Dada! Dada look, quick! Help! Help before goes!"
 
The confessions were, admittedly, something that needed to be said aloud at some point. He had discussed his parents since their passing but it had always been swift, unable to carry a conversation about them unless it was general and non-specific. Discussing memories from before their deaths was inevitably going to be difficult but he realised that it didn't have to be fraught with regret and sadness.

Thinking back to the memories of him and his siblings rushing eagerly to their father when he returned from hunting, or cuddling up close to their mother opposite the little fireplace within their hut... those weren't memories tinged with sadness; rather, they made him smile fondly to himself in the knowledge that despite their time being far shorter than it ought to be, they had succeeded in being the best parents they could be. There would inevitably be moments where he would feel saddened that they weren't around to see him, Gio and Anders become parents; couldn't see their only daughter became a capable, dedicated healer, nor witness the infectious joy that Lyle and Chester often brought to the pack, but he could at least talk about them with those he cared about without feeling on the verge of tears all the time.

It was the benefit of opening up and letting people in: he got to work past issues he didn't even realise he had held for so long.

He didn't want to concentrate too much on the sadder topics surrounding his parents (like their untimely deaths), but he couldn't even continue discussing them generally when he turned his head at Luana's gesture to notice their daughter clinging to the rod, its line beginning to jump now something had taken the bait on the end of it. Having seen how close she had been to throwing a tantrum at the lack of her own success, Tate subtly let out a sigh of relief and glanced across to Luana, knowing she would share the sentiment.

Returning back home with a toddler who hadn't succeeded in catching anything when their older cousin had wouldn't have been fun in the slightest.

"Aha, see? Told 'ya, didn't I? Patience is key, sweetheart - an' don't go telling your cousin this, but I reckon you've caught a big 'un," he cooed proudly as he moved to kneel onto the ground just behind Tala, reaching his arms around her to take a hold of the rod and keep it from dropping into the current of the river. He rested his hand over her own and guided it gently to start reeling in the fish, slowly at first but moving quicker when it became clear the fish at the other end was bigger than he first anticipated it to be.

"Ah, look at that! You caught a carp - I don't think I've ever caught one of those, an' if I 'ave, they ain't been as big as this one. How'd you manage that, then? You're gonna have to teach me, Tala; I need to learn some tricks off 'ya, I think," he continued to praise once reeling the line in enough to pull the fish up from the water, setting the rod down and removing the hook in order to get a proper look at the carp for himself. It only took a second or two before he grinned back down to his daughter in genuine, immense pride - never could he have envisioned fishing with his child (let alone having a kid in the first place) but it was, possibly, the proudest moment of his life to have taught her a life skill and shared in the experience alongside her.

So much so he knew he would only start tearing up if he dwelled on it for too long.

"Right, what we're gonna do is get back to fishin' 'cos I need to catch something. Once we have a few more fish, we can start guttin' 'em all. Your Mumma and Uncle Anders won't be nearby for that, they're too squeamish~"
 
Moving out of the way so Tate could get behind Tala, Luana sat with a leg crossed and another drew up to her chest. As enjoyable as it was to help participate in the actual fishing, watching Tate and Tala together brought a warmth to her chest she hadn't yet experienced before. A soft smile was the only evidence to that feeling, her one arm draping across the top of her knee as she watched father and daughter bring in whatever the latter had caught.

Since arriving at the pack, and seeing the greeting she received, Luana had practically lost all hope that something as simple as what they were doing wouldn't be possible. Spending time with Tala with Tate present was a fantasy to her, and after his hateful reaction, even being on civil terms with him had been too. Yet there they were, and with them both having moments of openness with the other too. Luana had to question if she was even living in reality, that perhaps she was in a dream and she would wake up in that storm on the first night, or even she would wake up butt-naked near the river, this all a result of being knocked out after the punch.

The woman subtly took a hand to pinch herself, only to realise what she had done and laugh a little in amusement. Satisfied, she focused back onto the pair before her, just in time to hear Tate's comment. She slapped his arm playfully, "Hey, I told you that secret in total confidence." She smirked.

Tala, meanwhile, bounced up and down with excitement, staring up in awe at the fish she had caught. "Lemme hold, lemme hold!" She demanded, hands reaching up, desperate to get her hands on her prize. Once she received the fish, her nose wrinkled and Luana laughed loudly at the disgust on her daughter's face. "S'...s'stinky. An'-- an' slimy. Dada, here go." The toddler hurriedly handed the carp back to her father, wiping her hands on her shirt not long after.

"Didn't you like that, Tala?" She questioned, eyebrow raising as she struggled to keep the grin off her face. "S'smelly, Mumma. Very, very smelly." The toddler confirmed, moving to pick up her rod again and plop down on the edge of the creek again.

Luana chuckled, reaching behind them for another piece of bait, "Wait there, wait there. Ya won't catch nothin' without a snack for the fishes to go for." She explained, bringing in Tala's line to stab the bait onto the hook.

Once settled back into her position, Luana looked across to Tate. Her grin had melted into a fond smile, eyes softening but laughter still dwelling within them. For a moment, that's all she did, just look at him; drinking him in and even breathing in the scent of their family. Leah's scent still lingered on his skin, but she wasn't about to get mad about that. She focused on him, eyes trailing over the beard he now sported, the definition of cheekbones over the hair, the strength of his arms clearly on display.

Eventually, she looked away, still smiling, and pressed a kiss to the top of Tala's head.
 
As inevitable as Tala's disdain for holding the fish was, Tate still chuckled the moment he spotted the disgusted pout on her face. He was quick to relieve her of the discomfort, holding his hands out to retrieve the carp from her and examining it up close with a further nod in approval. While Tala returned eagerly to the spot beside the river, he left Luana to handle adding the bait in order to set the wriggling fish down in a nearby basket reading for preparing later on and called over Teddy to do the same - his niece seemed much less concerned with holding the fish, having rushed about clutching it tightly in her hands to show off to her fathers.

He smiled encouragingly at her babbling as he returned to fishing, setting himself down with a content sigh. He very rarely got a chance to go fishing and admittedly, he had never been a fan of the time it took out of his other duties around the pack. Hunting was necessary and he saw it as one of his more important responsibilities, working alongside the hunters in his pack to provide for their whole community - but fishing wasn't. As enjoyable as the activity was, he could spend hours fishing and not catch enough to feed the entire pack for the night, whereas it would take less time hunting down a large elk that would allow everyone to have seconds if they so wished.

It made no sense to spend the day fishing when it was more of a hobby than an actual requirement... so, being so dedicated to his work, Tate rarely found the time to enjoy a hobby he had held since he was a child, the memories of heading out with his father and Gio being amongst his favourites he had shared with the man.

Finding the time to enjoy that hobby now, with his daughter, mate, brother and niece... it was far more meaningful to him than he could explain, happily taking in the sight of his daughter eager to catch another fish and her cousin beside her, chatting happily in whispers to keep them entertained. His eyes inevitably strayed across to Luana not too long after her own eyes had drank him in, the alpha sitting for several moments with his eyes only focused on her- and his mind entirely occupied with the acknowledgement that he was lucky to be able to call her his mate.

"How, uh... how long are you gonna be fishing for? 'Cos... it'd be nice to sit down an' have a bite to eat," murmured Anders as he dared to approach, avoiding glancing in the basket beside Tate as much as he could. He didn't want to disrupt the clearly enjoyable mood by growing queasy, but the fish his daughter had eagerly showed off to him had been enough to cause that nausea to stir. "I dunno, just-- how much fish do you guys need? I think two's plenty ain't it?"
 
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