The Little One

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Perhaps someday Kira would tell his master more about himself, but it was wiser to wait in any case. He was still new and fragile, and had forgotten much of his own past out of necessity. He could not yet face what had been done to him and deal with it until his environment was stable and filled with love. Right now, he was a broken thing just starting to mend, piece by piece, easily shattered again with a breath.

"You have pain." the elf said, looking down at his hands. They lay in his lap, pale and rather useless. The elfling thought of what he wanted to ask, but didn't know if he should. Only after several moments did he continue with what had been on his mind. "Do you wish to find Henry again because you still love him?" That kind of love, after years and years, he wasn't sure he understood. Kira knew that even princes couldn't go against kings, so it wasn't necessarily a mystery why William hadn't tried to find his former lover. Kira had simply never seen dedication like this before....not to something potentially good, anyway.
 
The question was one he had been asking himself ever since the day Henry left. He knew not why it had been a question. To him, he thought the answer should be a straight up yes. He also remembered Henry's wished though. He looked down at Kira's hands also. His voice had no confidence or much emotion in it at all besides a little disappointment and shame,"I wish it were that simple. Henry told me the day before he left, a week after that letter, that no matter what I was not to come after him or purchase him back. I was to leave him be and live life where it took me. We were young and it was just a first of few."

He paused than smiled softly a the same look from earlier filled his eyes for a moment, "I guess I never did understand what he meant though. Henry had always been wise beyond his years. To answer your question, I do wish I could somedays, but I have to think of what he wanted also." His looked returned to normal then he looked up at Kira. He just look at him at his white soft hair at his elvish features. Something about Kira made him feel better. He pushed the thought aside thinking it must be finally talking about it or even that Kira was an elf. Elves did have some strange healing magic and effects. He thought it just be that.
 
It would have sounded like a convoluted story to anyone else, concerning why a master didn't buy his slave back, or a lover find his love again, but Kira believed him. For whatever reason, he felt that William was being open and honest with him. It was a new experience to believe something of a master, beyond threats of immediate abuse. Maybe it was that soft, wistful look in William's eyes, the kind that other masters didn't possess as far as the elf knew.



The elf had his head bowed, but as William was lying down it was understandable. His eyes were focused on his lap as he thought of what the other had said, and started to grow in understanding himself. "So….love….is pain if it is not the right person… but it also means…giving up your desires in order for someone else to be happy?" Kira didn't even know why it was so important for him to understand a concept so far removed form his daily existence. Yet, here he was, trying to figure it out anyway.
 
(Was William laying down? I was wondering because I am a little confused.)
 
William thought for a moment about love. He wondered why Kira was showing so much interest in it. He smiled softly and looked up. "That is love putting someone before yourself. It is painful unless it can be returned. Maybe you will understand one day, Kira. I will try my best to give you opportunity to," his words came out softer and warmer than the ones before. His hand reached up a jossled Kira's hair again as he sat up.

He then stood and stretched. "I did not think my parents would be leaving while you are new here. What I am saying is sleeping arrangements have not been setup. You can sleep alone in my bed it you like. I can make a pallet for myself doorstairs in the sitting room," he softly as he moved towards the window and move the curtains revealing the setting sun over the vast lands. He stared out the window and wondered why he hoped the elf would tell him to sleep in the same bed with him tonight. He wondered why he wanted to watch over the elf so badly.
 
(I had thought he was- that was what I remembered. But if not, just ignore what I posted about him lying down. It's not important to teh story XD)



Kira didn't know what to make of this promise, for though he was starting to understand the concept of love in a very vague way, he honestly didn't see how it applied to himself. It was a nice thing for William to say, anyway, so Kira tried to smile a little. The muscles were so out of use it ended up looking more like a grimace. In spite of that, the elfling realized he hadn't felt so relaxed and light in his memory.



That was, until William made the comment about Kira sleeping in his bed while he stayed somewhere else. The elf's eyes went wide, and he tensed, unable to keep himself from blurting out. "Oh…I couldn't… It's your bed, ma….W…William." Confusion made him rub his arms a bit. On the one hand, it had been one of those strange 'if you like' suggestions, as though he had a choice in teh matter. On the other hand, it was hard not to take everything William said as a command. But teh thought of a lowly slave sleeping in a bed above his station, when his master went to sleep somewhere less comfortable and refined, brought out this little bit of resistance.



"Please….William, I…I am content to sleep elsewhere, even on the floor. I will sleep wherever you command me, but this is your bed. I am…I am just a slave."
 
William thought for a moment as to what to do. He needed a moment to keep himself from replying with anger so he continued to stare at the sunset. His green eyes flickered with the colors of the sunset as he watched it. He had to remind himself that it was still going to take some time for Kira to understand he was an equal now. Then he spoke keeping time down better than he would have before but ever so slightly frustrated, "I will not have any who works in my home sleeping in such conditions. I will especially not have a guest. If it bothers you too much to have me sleep somewhere else, we could both sleep on the bed. That is until they make arrangement for you."

He turned around abruptly and took strides over to Kira. He placed his hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes. He spoke in an assertive way but with some great affection hidden in there, "you are no longer "just a slave". That life is gone. You are starting anew. You may never forget that life, but this is a new one. I will make sure we train you to be something other than a pleasure slave. You deserve more." His heart beat was going crazy as he looked into those blue eyes and sort of got lost. He did not want to move. He stood as still as a rock for a moment more then let go of Kira. He stood up straight up strolling back over to watch the sunset. "Now, what about the sleeping conditions?"
 
Kira felt the anger rise in his master, attuned to that emotion ore than almost any other. It was one that he had such intimate knowledge of that he knew all the signs; the stiffening of shoulders and neck, the straightening of the back. Kira went still himself, waiting for the prince to whirl around and strike him. William seemed to be like that, one minute gentle and wistful, the other full of pent-up violence. Kira found it exhausting just to try and follow, but he'd been with such masters before, and much worse. That was why the elf always seemed to be walking on eggshells, brittle of spirit.



"Whatever you wish." he murmured, afraid to sleep so near the prince when he was in this mood, but not wanting to argue any further. No matter what William said, he was no 'guest', and never could be. Even William's own anger betrayed this fact. He would never have spoken that way to an actual guest. At least his heart was in the right place, though.



Kira found himself looking into the prince's eyes because he couldn't help it- William's movements and manner almost commanded it. In his own eyes was the haunted light of the broken, desperate for more but nearly incapable of accepting it. Emotion, more than he was used to showing, began to radiate from him.



"You are so kind…but…I…I don't know how to be anything else." the very thought of trying terrified him. It would probably anger William to hear, but it was the truth. However, since the prince wanted it, and perhaps a part of Kira did too, he added softly, "I will try…" The silent 'but' hung in the air, swallowed in the moment. Kira didn't think he was capable of being anything other than he was. This was reinforced as he watched the prince's eyes go unfocused, and knew what that meant. He was honestly relieved when contact broke between them.



Hanging his head slightly, knowing the prince expected an answer, he said quietly, "Whatever pleases you best. You….are so kind, but you should not have to give up any comfort for me. Any bed is more than I am used to." Kira said it because he was honestly trying to be what the prince wanted, and to say what was in his mind, but he had to fight for every word.
 
William huffed letting out all his anger and negative emotion. He knew that Kira was really trying. He wanted nothing more than to see that was behind the blank pain filled blue eyes. He wanted to wipe away the haze, but he knew it was not that simple. He knew that he had to speak of what was at hand at the moment though. He knew what he wanted and the situation made it easy to ask of it. He almost did not feel guilty at for saying, "Then we will both sleep in my bed."

He went into his closet and threw out a pair of small pjs. "These may not fit you even still. They are from a good while ago. I out grew them," he said and then shut the closet door between them. Though they had seen each other naked the night before, he felt something may be different now that Kira was not a complete stranger. Something inside him to him to peeked out of the door, but he did Not dare to. He simply undressed and dressed in his pjs. He even knocked on the door when he was done. "You done changing?" he asked through the door.
 
Kira accepted this without question, finding it easier than he expected to face it, because William had not done anything to him the night before. There had been that look in the prince's eyes just now, so the elf was still on his guard, but really, if William decided he wanted that, there was nothing Kira could do about it.



The elfling was glad to find he would be wearing something, though. That went a great deal toward soothing his fears, in spite of everything. It showed that, at the moment, William wasn't interested. The pajamas were nothing to excite in that respect. Not that Kira cared- he slipped them on and noticed, with a small tinge of delight, that they were very soft and warm. The tunic he had been wearing, and now was folded neatly over a chair, had been a thin, papery kind. It looked nice, but was mostly for show.



"I am dressed, William." he said, standing at attention in the middle of the floor, hands clasped in front of him. However, as the prince emerged, he would see that there was a little more life in the blue eyes.



"Thank you for the clothing, William. It's so very soft…" The elf ducked his head almost shyly as he said this, wondering at himself. But if he had been alone and felt more free, he probably would have rolled around luxuriating in them.
 
William opened the door and came out in black stripped blue pajamas much like the ones Kira was wearing now. He smiled softly at Kira's thanks and rustled his hair as he walked by. "No need for being so proper. I am only a prince," he said the last line with a light joke to his voice and chuckled right after it. He then grabbed the curtains and pulled them shut. He did not bother with blow out the candles knowing someone would be around soon.

He then stretched as he walked over to the left side of the bed and slid under the covers. He let out a great yawn and snuggled in. He then called softly to Kira, "thank you for an interesting day. Nothing worth while has happened for a good time."
 
A bemused look crossed the elf's face briefly, before it slid back into its usual, humble mein. It was the first step toward a sense of humor. Kira was making a lot of back and forth movement today, in terms of progress.



He waited for the prince to get under the covers before doing so himself, still somewhat tense, but not as much as last night. These were strange circumstances, and William was a strange man. He was even thanking Kira for making his day 'interesting'.



"I…..am glad…?" the elf searched for the appropriate reply, not used to being thanked. Or being told anything he did was worthwhile… He watched the prince from under his long lashes, still curious, still trying to work him out as he pretended to go to sleep.
 
William smiled a dopey smile as he began to drift off. "Sleep well, Kira. Goodnight," he said as his words almost slurred together out of tiredness. He quickly ran out of consciousness. His eyes too heavy to keep open closed and his mouth painted expressionless with sleep. His breathing grew soft and long. His mind danced with past thoughts and new ones as they entered his dreams.

He woke in the dark of the nght and turned over a few times trying to get comfortable and forgetting he was not alone in bed. He bumped into Kira and in his only half awake state of mind thought it was Henry. He said nothing but drifted back asleep right up against Kira.
 
Kira had stayed awake long after William went to sleep, just thinking about what he had experienced that day. If this was all just an insane dream he had decided to accept and go along with it. However, the longer he watched the slack, softly breathing face of the prince, noting that he looked younger and more vulnerable that way, Kira felt something twitch in his numb heart. It was the growing feeling that, if William wanted him to become more, perhaps there was a chance that he could. He would try his hardest, anyway. More than that, Kira began to feel that he wanted to help William find his happiness again. Even more than improving himself, Kira wanted, somehow, to make that happen. He didn't know why, just that it was so.



The white-haired elfling fell asleep with this decision still on his mind, carrying it with him even into his dreams. When William's nightly thrashing woke him, the elfling watched, wondering if he should wake the prince. The dreams didn't seem to be happy ones, and Kira was on the verge of shaking his shoulder gently when the prince's body pressed against his. Instinctively, he went still, feeling his heartbeat start to race again, chasing all of the higher ideals William had spoken of into the darkness. But the prince was asleep- he had seen the brief, disoriented look in William's sleepy green eyes. There was no desire, no lust, only a simple need for warmth. After a long while, Kira was able to relax just a little bit, and he let teh prince just stay where he was, finally falling asleep himself after awhile.
 
William awoke again at the rise of the sun as he usually did. His eyes fluttered open to see the elf's right below his. He was taken by surprise for a moment wondering how they ended up like this. His eyes watched the sleeping face of Kira and a smile painted his lips. Seeing Kira so peaceful and at ease was strange and relaxing. He watched Kira's pale lashes barely flutter with sleep. William felt a since of happiness he could not put his finger on. Then it shattered as he remembered how he got so close to Kora during the night. He remembered dreaming about waking up and finding Henry in his bed again and he rolled over to be closer to him. He tried to push away the thought though. He knew nothing good would come of it. Slowly. He began to turn over way from the elf. He did not want to but he thought Kira would lie it best not to wake up to him. He was only another master to him. A reminder of the life he had just led a long time.
 
For once, Kira really was at ease…or as 'at ease' as he had been in living memory. He was still not completely, utterly relaxed, because he didn't feel completely, utterly safe. That would come later, if William treated him well, and gave him some stability. But he had already done a great deal by making it possible for the elfling to sleep in some semblance of peace. William's stirring began to wake him, though not with a start as usual. Kira's waking was actually a bit slow, as usual not showing that he really was awake. He watched William from under his long lashes, and teh way the prince's expression changed slowly, from a sweet sort of contentment, to something darker and sadder. For some reason, when the prince turned away from him, the elfling almost felt like waking fully, and asking how he had offended him. It struck his heart to be turned from, though he didn't know why. It occurred to the little elfling, then, that maybe William had been thinking of other things. He recalled the sleepy way the prince had mumbled Henry's name. Perhaps he had only gotten close in a dream, and waking to see Kira, had been disappointed. That bothered the elfling a bit, though he didn't know why, so he shoved the feeling aside.



Not able to leave William in such a dark mood, however, he let out a long breath to let his master know he was awake, to give him teh chance to turn if he wished. For reasons even the elf didn't understand, he wanted to help William feel better.
 
William heard the small breath after he turned around a small but of happiness filled him again. He scooted away slightly more the turned over again leaving space between them this time. "Good morning, Kira. Did you sleep well?" he questioned with slight happiness to his voice but also a little bit of sadness lurked in it. He wondered why Kira had such effect on his mood. He knew it was definitely something positive to think of though so he decided when he felt down to start questioning that instead. His emerald eyes looked over the just awoken elf with slight joy in them. He began to wonder what interesting adventures they could go on today. His hand began to reach to stroke through Kira's hair but he stopped it as it barely rose realizing what he was doing.
 
He had, actually, slept fairly well. Kira nodded, a shy look on his face as he watched William's expressions shift back and forth. As one of the prince's hands raised toward him, he went still, but nothing happened. Kira blinked in confusion at the hand, then the prince.



"What is it?" he asked, wondering if he'd done something wrong. As his eyes were clearly on William's hand, there was no question what he was asking about.
 
Momentary shock ran through William as he had not expected Kira to notice let alone question his movement. Then he chuckled softly. "I went to touch your hair again, but I need to stop that. I can tell you do not like being touched too much," he spoke wothout seriousness in his voice and put his hand down down completely. He looked into Kira's eyes again and smiled lightly. He found those blue eyes to have some sort of strange affect on him. He kind of liked it though as his heart beat a little faster. It made him feel sort of more alive. He wondered if that would make any sense if he ever told Kira. His conclusion was it would probably scare him in a way,
 
Kira's frown deepened at this, and he did look very uncomfortable. Part of him wanted to encourage the idea that he didn't like touch, except it wasn't quite true. Glimmers of his true self had been showing through since yesterday, and being an elf, he craved touch. More importantly, William seemed to want to touch him, and if he was going to touch anywhere, Kira's hair was the place. It meant his hands weren't anywhere else on the elf's body.



Of course, the little slave could have left it alone, but he decided to at least try to explain, so the prince wouldn't feel at fault. "Touch…..means pain…and bad things." he said hesitantly, trying to find the right words. "It did with my other masters, but not with you. You never hurt me…" This was as close as William would get to an invitation for now. Kira was prepared to just bear with it for his sake, not sure if he would actually like it or not. But did it really matter what a slave wanted?
 
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