The Little One

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Everyone whispered quietly for moment. Then when William cleared his throat, they fell silent a moment more before picking up their normal tones conversations. William look at Kira who he knew at this point probably wanted nothing to due with him. He took his first bite and swallowed in roughly. Something in his throat was making it hard to swallow. He then sighed and said it,"I am sorry for the way I acted to you in the library. I should not have brought you in there or told you those things. I probably should not have been in there myself. Now, you know though. I cannot take back the information I have you. May be I did not undeestand what you meant when you last spoke to me, but the way I reacted was not right even if I had. As I said before, you are free to ask any questions and state any opinion now."

William took a long tug on his wine then went back to eating. Her words had finally set in completely and he felt better. He remember also what Gladis had said. Henry would not want him sulking around. With that, he picked up his fork and began to eat.
 
((Warning: once will starts to realize he is falling for Kira he may try to push him away. Then once he completely falls he may even kill the big man to protect their love.))
 
Strangely, though William seemed to have thought he acted wrongly, the slave who sat beside him was of the complete opposite opinion. It showed on his face when he looked half-up at William, surprised and confused by his apology. The slave hadn't taken offense because he couldn't. Kira had instead blamed himself for the whole thing. His retreating into himself was all he knew how to do when he made a misstep. Go back to training, don't speak out. Now William was saying he should speak out…



Kira's head reeled, and he closed his eyes, trying to clear it. So many conflicting messages in one day…. Yet, he did not blame his master, and probably wouldn't have even if he hadn't been taught that everything was his fault. Kira couldn't speak in front of so many, but he would try and build up his courage for when he and William were alone again. Not so much because he believed he himself deserved answers, but because the prince seemed to want him to. Kira even tried to eat a bit more so his master wouldn't fret. But watching William, teh slave could tell that he was still troubled. What could he do about it, though?

(Awww, poor Kira will be heartbroken! And Will might kill his father? OOOOOO But yeah, Kira will be very cuddly and affectionate once he gets going XD)
 
William finished eating soon after Kira did. No one else was really done so he simply stood up and started to walk out of the room. His mind was a little more at ease now. His smile returned on his trip back to his quarters. He would have nodded and happily greeted anyone he came to pass him, but they were all in the dining hall. With thoughts of how Henry would want him to be happy, he slowly put himself back together.

By the stepped into his doorway, he turned heels and asked Kira while looking dead in the eye,"What do you think of me? Do I seem like a good man to you?" His question was that if self concern and inner turmoil and anyone would who looked in his eyes could see the flicker of that but with a little more. The little more was what made William asked the question out right to Kira in specific. He himself had no idea as to what it was, but now he knew it was there. He could not deny it. There was something else in tje things he said to Kira that he was unsure if himself.
 
Kira followed obediently behind, without being summoned or asked, because that was expected of him. He noted with surprise, and gratitude to henry's sister, that William seemed much more….at ease, much less dark than before.



However, the slave was completely, utterly unprepared for the sudden verbal attack that his master launched at him. Not that it was an angry one, but to have his opinion sought was something he still couldn't get used to. Besides, what William was asking his opinion on was not anything the slave was prepared to answer. He'd barely allowed himself to think in his own mind what he thought of his previous masters, how could he even get the words out to say what he thought of William? Incidentally, what did he think of him?



Looking into those green eyes, because they caught him off-guard and he couldn't help it, Kira saw what was in them. The deep-seated guilt and insecurity that had led to his outburst before. Yet another part of his master Kira might have tried to soothe earlier. Now, he just averted his eyes out of habit, the look in his master's still burned in his memory.



"I…..do not know…..what makes a good man." he murmured, only answering because the silence grew around them, and William seemed to want one. Kira's fingers twisted agianst themselves between his clasped hands. That didn't sound like what his master meant, so he gulped and tried again. "You are….you are not like my other masters. You speak kindly to your servants…. They care for you. If that means you are a good man…" He trailed off. Honestly, the slave's world had become so jumbled in the last day or so that up was down and dark was light, and he didn't know which way he stood. His heart would have told a clearer story, as the warm tug appeared again, drawing him emotionally to William.
 
Kira words may have been small and not filled with much actual opinion, but they made William smile softly. His heart filled with hope hearing he was not like others. He then turned back around and ran into his room. He threw himself onto his bed as a young child might. He then laughed deeply. Something about Kira being felt right to hold. For a reason he could not pick out, he wanted to tell his whole entire life story to Kira. He felt he finally could have a real friend again in the lonely wall. He patted the spot beside him on the bed. "Come over here and ask anything on your mind," he said softly and in a friendly maner. He has no command to his voice at all. Just as quickly as the deep dark side of him had come out, it had then again left. Maybe he had just buried it again though.
 
Kira did not know what to make of this behavior, not in the slightest. It even scared him a bit. Was his master coming unhinged? The elfling had seen more than one instance of this in his time as a slave. If William's mind had snapped, it was best to obey him immediately and without hesitation, as the slightest thing could set him off.



Warily, Kira slipped onto the bed beside him, not as afraid do so as he had been the night before…for the same reasons, anyway. William hadn't shown any interest of that kind in him, but now that his sanity was in question….



"I….do not…know what I would ask." he murmured, wondering at the change in tone. William sounded younger, somehow, but Kira was not fooled into thinking the hard edge was gone. It just made him wonder which was the real William. Since he had to humor him, Kira thought of something to say as quickly as he could.



"Why are you different, ma…William? Why do you treat your servants this way, and let them speak to you openly?" Almost as he said this, the slave's pale lips pressed together, fear in his eyes. He hadn't meant to ask so much, but it had rolled out somehow, in spite of him.
 
William's childish side slipped away a little as Kira finally let out his thoughts. He smiled softly in response. "I let them speak openly to me because I believe every has an opinion to be heard. If you do not allow those to speak their opinions around, then you are simply a coward scared of what you might hear or be told. I also believe their opinions matter no less than mine because they are of no less value than me. Just because they were born to parents less fortunate than mine does not mean they are any less capable of anything I am. As for why I am different, you can thank Henry if you ever meet him. He spoke out to me on the injustices when we were young and gave me the knowledge of what it meant for someone to be born more capable than you but of less value. When I was little, he showed me the other side. Most princes are only taught by their parents and everyone else to see servants and peasants as of less value. He made me vow to be different," his words felt like sweet relief coming off his tongue. He only wished he took tell Kiraore for some reason. Then his childish smile came into play again. He always had two very opposing sides even from a young age. A very serious, sometimes mean, sometimes angry side and a very kind, very loving, childish, sometimes naive side. They had been around long enough then that sometimes they mixed and he was very loving and serious. They were all very much him though.
 
Kira watched the play of his master's features with fascination. The childish, almost whimsical smile was utterly foreign to him, but somehow pleasant. William clearly had tender feelings, even in regards to being told off for his mistreatment of others. The fact that the prince would even consider other points of view said a lot about him.



Listening to his master speak of Henry, and how highly he thought of him, made Kira want to know more about him. He must have been a special person to bring any master to see things differently. Since Kira could see William took pleasure in speaking of him now, he asked in his soft voice, "What was he like?" In that simple question was another, unspoken, probably because he didn't think it was his business to know. Why did you fall in love with him?
 
William chuckled softly at that question. He smiled as he thought of where to start and looked at Kira. Something about Kira's curious express made him want to hold him for some reason. He knew not why and did not react to the feeling. Instead, he went on the speak of Henry, "Well, he was very calm and relaxed most of the time. He never got worked up over anything really. He would get his opinion heard one way or another though. He was very very intelligent too. He loved to read and could name at least 100 authors that did not write fiction. He could be sarcastic at times but just to be humorous was all. He always seemed to have a bright perspective on things. He never really had a necessity to talk and talked when he felt others needed him to. He was very strange for someone our age when we first met." His eyes twinkled softly as he spoke of Henry and stared upward at the ceiling. He loved remember all that Henry was. He knew Henry was still Henry though just somewhere else. In a way, it made him happy to think that. That maybe Henry was happy somewhere else sharing his perspective with others.
 
Perhaps Kira would come to like being held, but at the moment, he was too afraid. Touch was still a bad and painful thing to him, even though he needed it to survive. The slave listened to his master speak, almost as though William was reading from a book himself, telling one of those fantastical stories that Kira had caught snatches of in his past. Such stories had sent him away for a time, and he always longed for more. But a slave's duty didn't allow for the idle listening of tales. Now, he lapped it up, almost as though henry was a tale himself, an epic poem or ballad telling of great deeds and magic. But his great deed had been to teach the prince how to care for those beneath him. Kira was grateful to him, in his own quiet way.



However, as William talked of this wonderful person, Kira slowly became aware that he was starting ti compare himself to Henry, coming out unfavorably against such a bright person as he knew he would. It was an odd, almost frightening thing for his mind to do, and he wondered why it had happened. Kira knew he was slow and uneducated and pretty worthless, why then did it matter how he measured up next to Henry? Kira locked those thoughts away, fearing what they could mean, and payed full attention to his master again.



"How young were you when you met?" Kira asked, finding questions a bit easier to get out now. The prince's talk had soothed him a bit.
 
William smiled brightly. That was an easy question for him. He put his arms behind and leaned back on them. "I was 12 and he was 15," he spoke warmly and his eyes kept their twinkle. He wondered if they would have been any different together if they had been the same age. Strange little thoughts danced through his head also. He wondered how old Kira was now. He wondered what his true personality was like. He did not know why these thoughts danced through his head but he knew now was not the time to ask.
 
Human lives were so short- Kira had almost forgotten that. Yet, Henry and the prince knew so much more than he did. Their lives had been crammed with knowledge and experience- Kira was glad for his master's sake that it had been so pleasant. There was plenty of knowledge out there that was completely worthless beyond the bedroom. Kira didn't even ask if they had slept together, because to someone of his experience it was a foregone conclusion. Everyone slept with everyone else. There was no other way. It was just that, for many, it involved pain and misery. Clearly that was not the case for the prince and his servant/friend. What Kira believed, though, was that love and sleeping together had nothing to do with one another. It was a separate thing.



"Do humans always start so young?" he asked. In his heart, the elf was both astonished and glad that he was being allowed to ask questions of anyone. There was plenty more he'd like to know that he didn't have courage enough to ask yet. Perhaps in time...



(Kira could be completely wrong about their love life, he just doesn't know any different XD)
 
(( I have not decided yet if Henry was his first or not yet.))

The curiosity, that only filled those blue eyes more, made William only want to tell Kira everything there was to know. He knew he had to stick to the questions or he would get lost though. The next question did not quite make sense to him. Do humans always start so young? He questioned in his mind. He looked around slowly as if the answer was somewhere in the room. He ten turned to Kira and chuckled softly. "Do not think I understand your question? What do you mean we start young? Falling in love or what?" he questioned assumed at his own lack of understanding.
 
(Like I said, Kira's just assuming because it's all he knows XD To him, Master = Sexually Voracious. He knows nothing else.)

How odd that a master should admitt he didn't understand something. Kira looked down, a crease between his brows. "I….I mean….with….intimacy." It wasn't that he was embarrassed to talk about it, so much as disgusted. Sex had never been anything but full of pain and horror, though apparently that was just for him and other slaves. If the masters were to be believed, there was no greater pleasure.

As for what William had said…. "What is…..what is 'falling in love'? Why do other beings love when it brings them both pain?" If William was paying attention, he would catch the way Kira said 'other beings', as though excluding himself from the question. To the elf, who had been a slave for so long, love was an ephemeral concept that he could not grasp. He truly didn't understand what it meant.
 
William was taken back by Kira actual question. He did not like to talk of his intimacy with Henry. It was definitely a sort of sore subjuct to him. His heart raced as he looked for words to talk of it. He did not understand why he felt so nervous. He had talked of it before in front of Henry's sisters. Why should a simple elf having nothing to do with any of it make him even more nervous than that? He was confused on his own reaction to the question.

Relief flooded through William as Kira asked another question. He skilled over the other and answered that one instead. He spoke calmly and with a sense of wisdom,but with some hidden pain, "It is not like we ever plan to get hurt. Falling in love is just that falling. For me, it felt like my feet were knocked out from under me. It was delightful and I had no fear, for I was young and naive. You cannot really control it. though I think next time I will try." Then smiled softly with a sense of some sort of peace in his eyes,"Falling in love just is. The pain it brings it not even necessary unless you fall in love with the wrong person." He then turned to Kira and smiled softly and patted his head. He knew not why he felt it necessary to do so but he did. His actions and words were making less and less sense to him. Something about Kira out him a little off guard.
 
Kira found William's change in demeanor interesting, if a bit puzzling. Masters weren't usually so….reluctant?….about their sexual encounters. But this one was, and that intrigued Kira, in spite of himself. It was so like William to be different, even in this way, that the elfling found he wasn't that surprised. As the answer to his first question wasn't that important, Kira dropped it easily. It hadn't been any of his business, anyway.



Instead, Kira listened intently to William's answer to his second question. It was a novel thing to feel anything like interest, and to be so aware of the nuances of emotion the answer brought about. Usually, Kira just went about in a haze, numb an only keeping in his mind what he needed to survive. This new information had nothing to do with survival, but he still found himself storing it away. Perhaps it was because William was saying these things. Kira felt, for the first time in a long, long while, his natural curiosity rising. He was still meek and hesitant, but taking a definite interest.



Love sounded….strange, frightening, and a bit cruel. Yet, it seemed to happen whether one liked it or not. At the moment, Kira had no idea that there were other kinds of love, like the love of friend to friend, or family to family. He was thinking only of romantic love because that was what William was talking about. To Kira, it sounded more like an attack than something wonderful- he understood why William would want to avoid it in future. Unless that person was the right one…. But what did that even mean?



Kira found he didn't mind the head pat this time. His white hair fluffed out like feathers under William's hand, framing wide, blue eyes that looked to him with wonder. They seemed far less veiled now, less dull and without life. "How do you know if it is the right person? Do only humans fall into love?"
 
William's body went still as numb with his hand resting on top of Kira's head. That was what he wanted to know so badly. The one question that if he knew the answer to he would know what he needed to do. He had not been sure if he one day needed to find Henry or leave it be.

He swallowed and said, "I do not know yet. I will let you know as soon as I do." His voice was soft and full of worry. He wondered if he would find the right one or of Henry had been it. For a moment, his mind even questioned if Kira might be it. He pushed that thought away immediately. He thought that was ridiculous. He finally took his hand off of Kira's head and looked away. He started to question where that thought had come from.
 
Kira noticed his tone; how could he not? His eyes, so large and blue and haunted, looked up at William. For a moment, their eyes met, just an instant, before he looked down again. Strangely, Kira didn't feel afraid that the prince would punish him for it, but that didn't take away the sudden gnawing of worry in his stomach. Why was he worried about the prince? Why worry about things which were not his concern? And why…..why did he wonder now about love more than at any other time of his life?



Kira watched William turn away, and at first, remembering the scene in the library, he said nothing. But the prince was so troubled that, after a long pause, his soft voice broke the silence. "William?"
 
William looked up at Kira. His heart skipped beat when he looked into those blue eyes. He stumbled over his words slightly, "Ye- yes, Kira?" This feeling was familiar to him he realized. He could not quite out his finger on it though. He wanted to question Kira about his life but he knew that would only lead to Kira closing off some again. He wanted to ask all about or even see Kira that was hidden deep down. The little bits that peeked out only enticed him more. He know not why he was interested in him but he could not deny that he was.
 
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