The Chanters (restarting, open for new/old players)

Sure, that'll work o-o
 
Hi and sorry for my late entry but i hope every one is okay with it :) this will be the first carakter that I create so i wouls apriciate all the feedback both good and bad.

Name: Gilbert

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Race/Heritage: Teeth's/humanoid, he looks like a human but got a few bever traits. Them being sligtly bigger front teeths and a slightly mor amount of boddy hair than a normal human.

Appearance: he is about 1.80 cm and not so heavy. anny one who looks at him would amidiate belive that he is a clumsy and incompitent being but litle do they know that that is actualy the case exept one thing and more about that in the personality. Exept his sligtly bigger front teeths he also have a werd mustace witch looks verry simulare to whiskers but he claims it is a mustace.

Personality: Gilbert love to learn stuff and things and will almost always have one ore more books close at hand and in addition to that he is a briliant learner he can learn countless of information verry fast and he would remember it close to forever. his personal moto is "knowlege is power" and he belive that with enogth knowledge almost every thing is achivabel. the back side to this is that he are so theoretical that when he ever try to preforme something practical he usually fail miserbly.

Skills: Gilbert´s skills are mostly theoretical as mentioned but he have acopel of things witch he have had som fysical practis with. figthing with staffs, doging and sneaking. He allso have a great sens for where he are and whitch way leads where so he rarly gets lost even in maces or laburints. Other wise he knows allot and can worke puzzels with ease

Occupation: sense he is not verry old he have not found any ocupation in witch he have perfekted his skills but he have a strong tallent to teatch so he have been drawn to work witch involves passing on information and teatching others. he onse tried to steal for a living but he stoped whe he just could not live with himself knowing that he stol the verry things that he have scrambeld to hold on to for exampel mony, food and other expensive items. so he stopped and started teatcing intead.

Faction: (If any) N/A

Biography: Gilbert was left on the doorstep to an orphanage when he grew up and learnd the valu of friends, right and wrong and discoverd his pasionf for learning then all of a suden the orphanage was set ablaze and all of his friends wer scaterd in the city no where to be found that is when he started stealing but he quickly got out of the busness partaly for its danger and partualy on acount for his conscience. He lived in the city for all of his yung years and it was when he was fifteen he first found a book that told him not just about chanting but allso taught him how. So well aware of the dangers witch would follow he started experamenting and creating his own chants. he would target them to mostly help himself but he also experimented with chants that could caus major destruktion but he gos scared of his powers and stoped examening that branch of chanting rader quick. So one day with the staff in his hand and a backpack containing a smal coin purse and some food he decided to leave the city and strike out on adventures.

Chanting abilities: Sense chanting is forbidden Gilbert found a rather unike way of sommon his chants, he started tap-dancing and tho it was discret it only worked when the surface on wich he is standing is solid enogh to make nois when stept on. in the beginning it created problem when he was bored and started spontanly tap his foot in the ground and a rock would start foting but when he got control of it he got realy god at it. he use to train in abandoned allys. He sone learned to incorporate his most beloved item, a reinforced staff with a mettal cap on one end and a smal glas container on the other, into his chanting tap-dance.

Chants:
"tap tap tikedy tikedy tap"
This series of steps is a way to turn on a magick light in the end of Gilbets staff, If faild to preforme correctly he will only lose the energy and nothing will happen.

"tip tapedytip tap tip bonk"
This chant is endet with a hart thrust with the staff into the ground in front of Gilbert witch emits a powerfull shockwave from the point where the staff hitts and in an ark forward note that it also make a crak in watever the material the staff hitts. if failed to preforme the chant backfire and Gilbert and every one behind him Gets swept of ther feet and land a few meters behind wer they stod.

"tap tap tap tipedy tipedy tap"
This chant incolves a spin at the end and if successfully preformed ith enhanses the speed of the chanter and alsom makes so that the sound from thr feets is greatly decreased. If failed the chanter will hade a hard time walking and will stumbel and fall alot making it hard to do other chants.

"TAP TAP TAP ------------"
This chant makes so that the chanter can levitat the objekts witch is ponted on with the staff in the "---------" part the levitation is limited by the size of the objekt and how far away it is and if faled the item in qestion will squrt of in a random direktion and the nothing more.

"The dark forest behind the smithy is wining the camel race"
This is Gilbert´s one tru chant and will with all sertainty allways succeed and have a drastik inpakt on the aria witch the chanter is in it will do random things for exampel in a situation where death is iminent it may change the circumstances so that thae chanter may live on. or it may help one of the chanters frinds.
This is Gilberts last chout using words and become the reason to way he started tap-dacing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you think about it?
 
. <----- this little dot showing up a bit more in the text wouldn't hurt ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

O_O please add more dots

I don't mind grammatical errors but it's better to have to many dots rather than to little of them >.<


Side note: if you have firefox you can add a Vocabulary to it so it helps you correct small mistakes ^^
 
@Exuvius Well, the only thing I feel is a bit questionable is the fact that your character managed to find a book that taught him chants, and then he made his own instead. And its not as if you get capable of chants causing major destruction when you have just learnt to chant. That book may give an acceptable reason. But books containing that kind of knowledge are not around, and you cant learn chanting unless you are "lucky" enough to have the voice inside of you. And chant-books with POWERFUL chants mostly results in the chanters death.

Some things need to be fixed, among them the spelling and the grammar. The appearance need to be elaborated. I would like to know where (vaguely) in the known lands of Emculor his home-town is/was. What does he teach ?
More or less elaborate where you can.

And where is his patron God ?

Though I must say I enjoy his way of chanting.

@Roxie good choice.
 
Last edited:
Sorry couldn't help it but i had to attack the character with a grammar software and add a few dots. Though i leave it for you to clean up the rest. I only did a simple clean up. >.<
Beneath i cleaned up the Grammar mistakes though at some points i might have messed up the wording since i used my fire fox add-on to correct them. So look it trough.

I added in red text what could use some extra work too. I spoke with Wind about them and in general this is a good character just a few tweaks needed and this character is good to go :D


Name: Gilbert

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Race/Heritage: (No worries about the looks here add that in appearance instead ^^) Teeth's/humanoid, he looks like a human but got a few beaver traits. Them being slightly bigger front teeth's and a slightly more amount of body hair than a normal human.

Appearance: ( I suggest you elaborate this a bit adding a bit more to it) he is about 1.80 cm and not so heavy. any one who looks at him would immediately believe that he is a clumsy and incompetent being. But little do they know that that is actually the case except one thing and more about that in the personality. Except his slightly bigger front teeth's he also have a weird moustache witch looks very similar to whiskers but he claims it is a moustache.

Personality: Gilbert love to learn stuff and things and will almost always have one ore more books close at hand and in addition to that he is a brilliant learner he can learn countless of information very fast and he would remember it close to forever. his personal motto is "knowledge is power" and he believe that with enough knowledge almost every thing is achievable. the back side to this is that he are so theoretical that when he ever try to preform something practical he usually fail miserably.

Skills: Gilbert´s skills are mostly theoretical as mentioned but he have a couple of things witch he have had some physical practise with. fighting with staffs, dodging and sneaking. He also have a great sense for where he are and which way leads where so he rarely gets lost even in maces or labyrinths. Other wise he knows allot and can work puzzles with ease.

Occupation: Since he is not very old. He have not found any occupation in witch he have perfected his skills but he have a strong talent to teach so he have been drawn to work witch involves passing on information and teaching others. He once tried to steal for a living but he stopped when he just could not live with himself knowing that he stole. The very things that he have scrambled to hold on to for example money, food and other expensive items. So he stopped and started teaching instead.

Faction: (If any) N/A

Biography: (Like windstorm has mentioned the way Chanting works is not learnt trough study but is a gift your born with pretty much. It's more in the sense of spiritual learning and understanding rather then theoretical studdy A person not born with it can't really just study a book) Gilbert was left on the doorstep to an orphanage when he grew up and learned the value of friends, right and wrong and discovered his passion for learning then all of a sudden the orphanage was set ablaze and all of his friends were scatter in the city no where to be found that is when he started stealing but he quickly got out of the business partly for its danger and partially on account for his conscience. He lived in the city for all of his young years and it was when he was fifteen he first found a book that told him not just about chanting but also taught him how. So well aware of the dangers witch would follow he started experimenting and creating his own chants. he would target them to mostly help himself but he also experimented with chants that could cause major destruction but he goes scared of his powers and stopped examining that branch of chanting rather quick. So one day with the staff in his hand and a backpack containing a small coin purse and some food he decided to leave the city and strike out on adventures.

Chanting abilities: (I like this part it's good ^^) Since chanting is forbidden Gilbert found a rather unlike way of summoning his chants, he started tap-dancing and thou it was discrete it only worked when the surface on which he is standing is solid enough to make noise when step on. in the beginning it created problem when he was bored and started spontaneously tap his foot in the ground and a rock would start footing but when he got control of it he got really god at it. he use to train in abandoned alleys. He soon learned to incorporate his most beloved item, a reinforced staff with a metal cap on one end and a small glass container on the other, into his chanting tap-dance.

Chants:
"tap tap tikedy tikedy tap"
This series of steps is a way to turn on a magic light in the end of Gilbets staff, If failed to preform correctly he will only lose the energy and nothing will happen.

"tip tapedy tip tap tip bonk"
This chant is ended with a hart thrust with the staff into the ground in front of Gilbert witch emits a powerful shock wave from the point where the staff hits and in an ark forward note that it also make a crack in whatever the material the staff hits. if failed to preform the chant backfire and Gilbert and every one behind him Gets swept of their feet and land a few meters behind where they stood.

"tap tap tap tipedy tipedy tap"
This chant involves a spin at the end and if successfully preformed it enhances the speed of the chanter and also makes so that the sound from their feet is greatly decreased. If failed the chanter will have a hard time walking and will stumble and fall allot making it hard to do other chants.

"TAP TAP TAP ------------"
This chant makes so that the chanter can levitate the objects witch is pointed at with the staff in the "---------" part the levitation is limited by the size of the object and how far away it is and if failed the item in question will spurt of in a random direction and the nothing more.

"The dark forest behind the smithy is wining the camel race"
This is Gilbert´s one true chant and will with all certainty always succeed and have a drastic impact on the aria witch the chanter is in it will do random things for example in a situation where death is imminent it may change the circumstances so that the chanter may live on. or it may help one of the chanters friends.
This is Gilberts last shout using words and become the reason to way he started tap-dacing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Hey guys, I'm going on hiatus for about a week. Senior finals, so there's probably not going to be a post for five, six days. Sorry TT-TT
 
We understand, I for one has the same problem, though it is a project and some works that needs to be finished.
 
Sadly no, you and york are still those "a few hours" ahead.
 
Name: Gilbert

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Race/Heritage:Teeth's/humanoid

Appearance: Gilbert looks like a human but got a few beaver traits. Them being slightly bigger front teeth's and a slightly more amount of body hair than a normal human. He is about 1.80 cm and not so heavy. Any one who looks at him would immediately believe that he is a clumsy and incompetent being. But little do they know that that is actually the case except one thing and more about that in the personality. Except his slightly bigger front teeth's he also have a weird moustache witch looks very similar to whiskers but he claims it is a moustache. His hair styl is not eyecatching at all. He have a short cut brown hair that reatches far down his neck. As of the matter of his clotheing he usualy wears robes with booksized pockets and a hood. (sorry for not having a pictur but I am no talent by the drawboard if anny one feels for making one feel free to do one).

Personality: Gilbert love to learn stuff and things and will almost always have one ore more books close at hand and in addition to that he is a brilliant learner he can learn countless of information very fast and he would remember it close to forever. his personal motto is "knowledge is power" and he believe that with enough knowledge almost every thing is achievable. the back side to this is that he are so theoretical that when he ever try to preform something practical he usually fail miserably.

Skills: Gilbert´s skills are mostly theoretical as mentioned but he have a couple of things witch he have had some physical practise with. fighting with staffs, dodging and sneaking. He also have a great sense for where he are and which way leads where so he rarely gets lost even in maces or labyrinths. Other wise he knows allot and can work puzzles with ease.

Occupation: Since he is not very old. He have not found any occupation in witch he have perfected his skills but he have a strong talent to teach so he have been drawn to work witch involves passing on information and teaching others. He once tried to steal for a living but he stopped when he just could not live with himself knowing that he stole. The very things that he have scrambled to hold on to for example money, food and other expensive items. So he stopped and started teaching instead.

Faction: (If any) N/A
(Like windstorm has mentioned the way Chanting works is not learnt trough study but is a gift your born with pretty much. It's more in the sense of spiritual learning and understanding rather then theoretical studdy A person not born with it can't really just study a book)

Biography: Gilbert was left on the doorstep to an orphanage. Thats the reson for him not having a lastname. When he grew up he learned the value of friends, right and wrong and discovered his passion for learning. Then all of a sudden the orphanage was set ablaze and all of his friends were scatter in the city no where to be found that is when he started stealing but he quickly got out of the business partly for its danger and partially on account for his conscience.
He lived in the city for all of his young years and it was when he was fifteen that he got his first contact with chanting. After being caght one night when he was trying to break in to a house he escaped down into the slums. There he by mistake stumbeld across a hidout for chanters. He was given chelter, food and slowly starting to realize that an inner abillity had awaken and so he started to study chanting. He did not just study the way of chanting but also the religon. This lead to him starting to feal a strong conektion to the God of The Chant. He learned fast about the chanters history and how pressed the situation was betwen the chanters and the belif. but all good things comes to an end and so did this thing. The belif´s men found the hidout when he was out working and once agian all he have ever known for a long time was taken from him. This lead to sadnes that turned into frustration and then into anger and fainaly into the call for revenge. So well aware of the dangers witch would follow he started experimenting and creating his own chants. he would target them mostly to destroy but he also experimented with chants that enhanst his abilytis. In his training proces he reached a calm inner pease and he decided to throw his plans of revenge in the trach and leave it all behind. So one day with the staff in his hand and a backpack containing a small coin purse and some food he decided to leave the city and strike out just to get away from it all.

Chanting abilities: Since chanting is forbidden Gilbert found a rather unlike way of summoning his chants, he started tap-dancing and thou it was discrete it only worked when the surface on which he is standing is solid enough to make noise when step on. in the beginning it created problem when he was bored and started spontaneously tap his foot in the ground and a rock would start footing but when he got control of it he got really god at it. he use to train in abandoned alleys. He soon learned to incorporate his most beloved item, a reinforced staff with a metal cap on one end and a small glass container on the other, into his chanting tap-dance.

Chants:
"tap tap tikedy tikedy tap"
This series of steps is a way to turn on a magic light in the end of Gilbert´s staff, If failed to preform correctly he will only lose the energy and nothing will happen.

"tip tapedy tip tap tip bonk"
This chant is ended with a hart thrust with the staff into the ground in front of Gilbert witch emits a powerful shock wave from the point where the staff hits and in an ark forward, note that it also make a crack in whatever the material the staff hits. If failed to preform the chant backfire and Gilbert and every one behind him Gets swept of their feet and land a few meters behind where they stood.

"tap tap tap tipedy tipedy tap"
This chant involves a spin at the end and if successfully preformed it enhances the speed of the chanter and also makes so that the sound from their feet is greatly decreased. If failed the chanter will have a hard time walking and will stumble and fall allot making it hard to do other chants.

"TAP TAP TAP ------------"
This chant makes so that the chanter can levitate the objects witch is pointed at with the staff in the "---------" part the levitation is limited by the size of the object and how far away it is and if failed the item in question will spurt of in a random direction and the nothing more.

"The dark forest behind the smithy is wining the camel race"
This is Gilbert´s one true chant and will with all certainty always succeed and have a drastic impact on the aria witch the chanter is in it will do random things for example in a situation where death is imminent it may change the circumstances so that the chanter may live on. or it may help one of the chanters friends.
This is Gilberts last shout using words and become the reason to way he started tap-dacing.

patron god: God of the chant

I think this should fix most of it if else just name it :bsmile:
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
Much better, though there are still instances where the spelling and the grammar/sentence-composition gets a bit weird.
You are free to join the story.
 
Good work Exuvius, I like the part with the orphanage. I'm happy that you could join us and look forward to your continued contributions.
 
@Windstormugly
Raitoningu is on hiatus for school, same as me. I got a PM a bit ago letting me know why he hasn't post.

... Ps. I wrote a really good essay :3
 
Nice.
Well, then we just have to play the things happening in town for the moment.
 
Oh geez sorry kind of forgot about this. I'll post sometime tomorrow.