Fay had spent hours thinking of what Allen had been up to, all of the time that he hadn't been with her, that he had been out, looking for that guy. She didn't want to think about it, but what else could she do? She didn't want to think about what Allen would do if he found him - would he kill him? It felt surreal that Allen actually would kill him - Dean. To Fay it wasn't as any other person that Allen had killed or hurt, but she thought that to him, it probably didn't matter that much. Just another guy who got killed, she thought. This time she wasn't as sure though, that Allen would find him before she found her. She had been pretty anxious about it the whole time actually, that she had spent alone in her room. She had constantly checked the window now and then, just to make sure that he wasn't on his way to finish what he had started back at the mall. She wanted her time though. But, that didn't matter, not that much, she thought. She had plenty of time. She just wanted it to be over with, everything. She didn't want to think about the past, what had happened, what was going on. She had tried hard to just forget about everything, but now it all seemed to just come back at once, and she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to handle it.
She sat beside her bookshelf, almost hidden behind it if you were looking from the door. She was reading, she didn't want to think about anything right now. She had already spent too much time thinking about what had happened, and it had caused her to cry or to just lie in her bed shaking from anxiety, and so she didn't want to think about it. The best would just be to try to forget about all that had happened and not to bring it up again. Keep on going as if everything was normal, and she tried to tell herself that Allen wouldn't come home wanting to talk about it, if he had actually found Dean and talked to him, although she knew that she was lying to herself. She couldn't handle it right now though, it was all too much at once, and hopefully Allen would understand and give her some space - although she doubted it.