I wasn't kicking either of you our or anything when I highlighted the issue. I am a very hands on GM, and I have a certain style of doing things. I was pointing out a potential future problem for me as a GM and I don't take chances with my players anymore. To that extent, your posts have given me little when it comes to regarding insight into the character. As for our posts not giving alot for you to react on when we write longer posts, that simply isn't true. You can use the information from each of everyones posts to your advantage when writing. If its about the City, the player can incorporate things regarding said city into explaining reasoning and actions and what not. None of us have really written THAT long of a post yet.
Actually, both of you had what to me was A-Ok first posts, even IF i'd like to see even more. It was mainly your collab that set of alarm bells. Becouse I know people tend to write more for their first posts. But kept on that level, that's fine. Really.
On the subject of dialogue; Dialogue is there to communicate what your person is feeling. If you in a written media, use it as your tool to describe the world around your charachter, you get alot of nonsensical, longwinded conversations that no normal person would have in real life. We don't have a visual aspect to show things, it's why we describe things around us. That's my two cents about it. Dialogue can carry story; yes. Dialogue doens't substitute for writing. Look at a book, any book. Yes we are all working on the same book. But what book is 80 percent dialogue? You sometimes get several pages setting up the scenes, not a single word of dialogue in them.
This isn't a book though, its a RP. So both our points fall kinda flat. Its a unique, interactive form of storytelling. But you have to understand that as a GM, I have to address a problem if I see it. Now, you say you'd like to stay on, and grow as a writer and learn. And that sounds like a fantastic mindset.