Why.
I'm sorry that I was never the older sibling that my b*tch of a sister needed. I'm sorry that I ended up being the wrong one most of the time when I know I was doing the right thing.
But no. Even if I knew what they're saying was completely biased and give no f*cks to what I just said, I have to end up agreeing to their words just to not escalate the arguments further. I have to sit down, be a good daughter they want me to be, and listen to what they said and try to find the sense they were making out of their words.
Oh, and what did I hear? They got affected from a post I shared that COMPLETELY DOES NOT CONCERN THEM WHATSOEVER? Oh wow, really just. Wow. Since when have I ever posted something that involves how I think about my parents? And since when did they start to interpret cute cat pictures and upcoming horror cinema dates as overreacting depression coming from their daughter? And those sappy sad posts my friend tags me on? Those were meant for HER feelings and NOT MINE.
And my sister. My b*tch of a sister. I'm sorry that I didn't have lunch with her because I'm SICK of seeing her damn unforgiving face who always manages to get away with everything that could've helped her mature as a person. But noooo, she ends up being like one of those stereotypical gossip girls in 7th grade and fails hard on her studies.
Also, she got backstabbed by one of her peers? Yeah, that always happens with her. And when I give her advice on how to deal with them? SHE NEVER LISTENS.
Oh wow, my parents are upset at me for not being there for her? Oh! I'm sorry that she couldn't LEARN HOW TO USE HER F**KING BRAIN FOR ONCE.
I'm tired. Everything my parents said that I did wrong in the family always manages to put me in the blame. I can't blame them. When you're the older sibling, all responsibilities, mistakes, scars, are all on you. Things will start to get on your head eventually. You might end up being the immature one just because you're doing your best to ensure your parents' happiness, despite some things being unfair. And you have to deal with that imbalance. You have to put your true happiness aside just so you can ensure them a future where you're sure that everyone is happy but you. You can't be happy if they're not. You'll never be.
I guess I'll never be. I've become too much like them.