RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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My God if world isn't the most depressing thing ever today!

I knew I was going to see and hear all about the people who were killed in Las Vegas yesterday, so I tried not to let that bother me, but between all those stories were stories about a 12 year old dog that was dropped off at a shelter on his birthday. His damn birthday! What kind of heartless bastards abandon a dog they've had for 12 years on his birthday!

It's just.....

Fuck humans. Seriously. I hate them all.
 
I wish I didn't hurt all the fucking time. If it isn't some stomach pain from the tumor, it's a migraine, neck pain, foot pain. I'm tired of being tired and in pain.
 
I've only done one drawing for Inktober and it's the 4th. I'm stressing about it more than I should, which is making it harder. This is supposed to be a fun activity to do once a year, but it's like if I can't do this now when it's for fun, how can I hope to do a deadline when I need to later? I've tried the same old tactics of using free reference photos, but things just fall apart from there.

I'm going to try to recuperate by sadly watching a horror movie. I need to catch up on the movies I own.
 
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[spoili]nothing really
Just me being me
I deleted what I wrote.
Something about writing here makes me feel okay though. So I'll keep this here.
SMH
I really should cook. And do like... Stuff.
Yeah. I'mma do stuff.
Thanks, thread.
[/spoili]
 
You shouldn't feel guilty for something you had no control over.
You shouldn't feel guilty for something you had no control over.
You shouldn't feel guilty for something you had no control over.

Maybe if I say it enough, it'll stick...
 
It makes me legitimately sad and angry that very few people (well, Americans) know who Lise Meitner was. She was so fucking amazing, and if I have a daughter, I want to name her Lise.
 
Argh, how could you? Seriously, if I knew you'd be this unreliable about when you'd ship something, I would've just used another method. And I even paid you extra for one day shipping, and now you're telling me it won't be shipped for another week? His birthday is today, not a week from today. I ordered this on September 29, and it was meant to arrive today. Now I get to feel impotently indignant. I wanted the day to at least have something nice going for it.
 
today was a literal rollercoaster of emotions. i'd almost like to demand a do-over.

i've got nothing else articulate enough to express in words, so .__.
 
Goddammit, Kaga. If you had just gone to bed when you said you would, none of this would be happening. And you wouldn't be experiencing so many Emotions™ right now. And then you'd actually be able to get some decent sleep.

You decided to tempt fate and put off going to bed for just another half hour or so. Now you may have cost yourself the entire night. Nice one, Kag. Nice to see you're still capable of fucking up in the same old ways you always do.
 
Whyyyyyyyy did I feel the need to say any of the things I said. Why couldn't I have just said 'thanks' and dropped the fucking subject. Why am I apparently incapable of not oversharing. Why why why whyyy.
 
My mom keeps threatening to declaw our cat and I hate it. I hate the idea that declawing is seen as an almost "normal" surgery in America. I don't think furniture should come before the welfare of a living being. There are way more cons to declawing than pros and I have been clear over and over and over about why I hate it; It's not simply removing a nail, it is removing an entire joint from your cat, it takes away their only protection if they get outside, they will walk differently for the rest of their lives because of the pain, their paws will occasionally bleed off and on from the holes, and they are more likely to develop hip/back leg problems due to how much they have to favor their front legs.

My first cat was declawed because it was left up to my parents. I loved him so much, but I could tell my baby was in pain. He became extremely aggressive after the surgery it was like he was a different cat. I remember drawing on the short coffee table when I was younger and he walked over the paper, leaving a trail of blood across it. This was five years after his declawing. About a month before he passed away he couldn't control his back legs. The vet said it was caused by consistent strain because he couldn't use his front paws well for balance. My baby lived a life of pain.

Yeah, fuck declawing. Never again. Got a scratching problem? Put a scratching post in that area and sprinkle some catnip on it. Don't be like my mom and move the scratching post away from the problem area then complain later.
 
Some days I feel depressed, even if I'm not actually depressed. It's just one of those days where you aren't thinking, you look sad, and you feel down. You're tired, you don't do much, you don't feel motivated. You want to do something, but what? How? Why?
 
Blood blister popped. Blood got onto the fucking wall. Too high up for me to reach to clean it off.

I wasn't even near the wall
 
Maybe a shock collar would be good for me. Maybe then I'd actually learn for once, and stop making the same mistakes over and over.
 
Brain, why do you absolutely wake me up after just six hours of sleep? I'm allowed to sleep more... v.v
 
There was ONE thingI was super excited for for my birthday and you flaked. TWICE.
This is why I just don't fucking try anymore.
Better to expect nothing and be surprised (or get what you expected) than try to do ANYTHING and end up disappointed. Everyffucking time.

TheN a few years go by where I do nothing and I figure maybe this year will be different, i will put some effort in. No, apparently.
Same damn thing happens for every holiday so I stopped celebrating them. I don't know why I expect it ever to work out for my birthday.

Worst part is it was fucking free. You love kayaking. Rain in the morning and sunny rest of the day is the best time to kayak. But you're "just not feeling it"
Ok. Fine.

I will never ask again.

Unrelated, my phone is apparently eating a bunch of incoming texts from multiple people now. I dont know how to fix this??
 
I feel kinda stupid posting this here... But anyways.

Show. Up. To. Your. Tours. Gosh dammit you freaking morons have one job. I say "hey friends when ya leaving town or busy or whatever? Let me know and it'll be copaceticm" they said "sure"

And THEN THEY ASK FOR COVErage. Like I didn't ask for twice a week for the last two weeks? You bought these tickets months ago?

I try to be understanding, but these situations make me incredibly unsympathetic. Not to mention the fuxking exec team who won't support me or sign up for tours, but will keep asking what they can do to help. Freaking fracking butternut biscuits sometimes I can't stand business students.

Help me. Please. It's so much work and you all get to do the fun shit without having to be the bad guy.
 
I'm tired of getting even mildly excited for something and then having everything go wrong. I just need to stop feeling anything. Then maybe life would be okay.
 
It's another one of those days when my brain likes to remind me of all the bad things people have said about my writing. It's not even that I believe these things remain true, I know I have improved since, but the memories still burn some days.

I think I need stronger tea.
 
1. I wish I could speak Korean, it sounds very nice. Maybe I'll pick it up one day.

2. This otome dating sim game looks really nice, it was supposed to have an English release in 2014. TWO THOUSAND AND FOURTEEN. THAT'S THREE YEARS AGO, WHERE IS IT?

3. WHAT IS THIS COMPANY?

4. I CAN'T NAVIGATE A KOREAN SITE THE ONLY THING I CAN READ IS THE URL EVERYTHING LINKS TO

wow I can access the story and the cast list, they look very nice! what is this mysterious boxy circlely language, wow, amazing, if only I had the ability to read this language asdfghj

5. University I want to go to doesn't offer Korean, guess I'm self-teaching.
 
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