RANT Your Brains Out #98274

Status
Not open for further replies.
Iwaku said:
  • Rant about members of Iwaku, either by name or alluding to situations.
  • Trash talk people on other websites.
  • Name and bash other websites.
Click to expand...
Man these 3 rules suck. Does it count as ranting about members of Iwaku if I quote a bot?
 
I forgot how frustrating Dragon NatSpeak is when it's still learning your voice.

Or maybe it's just because I'm a naturally quiet person, was raised to be quiet, and find it physically impossible to raise my voice past a certain point without sounding like I'm raging mad (causing my roommates to check on me) on top of that, but if I get 'Microphone Check Failed' one more time, I might cry (and this is after it's already adjusted for my volume). It'll dictate what I say fine...after an hour+ of reading to it for it to update my profile data so that I won't/shouldn't have to fight with it in the first place, crying when it won't register what I've said, and then another hour of beating it into submission, and even then, it's really hit and miss.

I mean, I know it's Speech Recognition/Speech-to-Text software and it takes a while for it to get your speech patterns accurately and all, but you would think, you would think, that after a month and a half, it at least could tell the difference between 'Frustrating' and 'Recognize'.

Goddammit Dragon, I got you because I was told you'd make things easier - what with my dyslexia and dysgraphia making my hand writing nearly illegible and typing take forever (or is the slow typing a result of my CP mildly affecting my hands? I can't remember, maybe it's both?), but whatever.

At least it's got the hang of the 'Select all' and 'Backspace' commands. -_-
 
I'm starting to feel like everything that I get attached to dies a horribly slow death. It's mildly depressing.
 
  • Nice Execution!
Reactions: Shiri
I'm feeling really disconnected to other people and the world around me. I just want to feel normal again.
 
  • Nice Execution!
Reactions: Shiri
tumblr_mb1qjueFXL1rw2dmbo1_500.png
 
  • Nice Execution!
Reactions: Shiri
My GPA for this past semester was the highest I've gotten in a long time, and by a significant margin.

I should feel proud. Or at the very least relieved.

But I don't. I just feel guilty. I feel like a faker.

That last semester felt so stressful to me. I felt like I was barely functioning. I certainly made it sound like I was barely functioning, given the way I talked to everyone on the site about how "busy" I was.

But clearly it wasn't actually an issue, if I was able to pass every class with flying colors.


And now I just wish that hearing objectively good news didn't bring down my mood so much. And that it didn't make me feel like a privileged faker, getting all stressed out over nothing...

And it's not like I would've been happy to see bad grades, either. I just... I don't know what I want. I'll always be freaking out and crying over some stupid, insignificant "problem" that isn't actually a problem, no matter how well my life is going. I'll always find something to cry over. I'll always find some way to make myself the victim.

I'll always find some way to be upset over good news.

Why am I like this.
 
I was having a good day. Trying to build relationships while staying away from any potential set-offs. It was going well.

Why is this not enough? Why, at the end of the day, do I need to be told "you're not doing enough"?
I won't ever be doing 'enough'. I'm rather sick of doing anything.
 
It's been a year and I'm still jobless. I'm trying, definitely, BUT STOP BUGGING ME! After the application is in, it's on them to decide whether or not I even get an interview, but past that, I doubt they'll even take me. I have been updating the same applications every month for thr past year and NO RESULTS. There is no "glass half full" to this.

What good is hard work against corruption?
 
Why do I feel so acheeyyyyyy.
 
I feel like I'm teetering dangerously on the edge of a massive breakdown, and I don't know why. Life is surprisingly low on the stress and drama right now - that's not to say that there's no stress or drama at all because there is and will always be, but it's extremely low-key all things considered.

The only thing I could even guess at for being the thing that's a major factor is the recent trip to my family? I've been back home for a little over a week, but I guess I'm still decompressing/sorting through everything. ...Which is not surprising now that I think about it. There was... well there was a lot to deal with this trip, all travel delays aside.

I usually have a huge crying lag after coming home - dealing with my family is hard - but that hasn't happened yet. I thought that meant I was handling stuff better, but I guess we'll have to wait and see.
 
So that guy, who I nearly beat up a few years back, is at it again. I have a simple rule, don't touch my things. Thievery is unfortunately not very uncommon at the store so its a very necessary rule. He breaks this rule every chance he can. He tried to steal my umbrella with me right there. I wrenched it out of his hands and threw it on the ground. He even tried to take my food when he has an entire plate of food to himself(I had a small styrofoam container). He acts like he's godly compared to everyone else and I am sick of it. He's the epitome of disrespectful, he makes rude sexual gestures and comments toward women, and he's completely unreliable in a job setting. Boy needs some help and he needs to get it away from me.
 
I'm in an LDR, it's pretty great. Such a sweet S/O, romantic, charming, smart, talented, understanding, wants to talk all day, and so, so cute. I couldn't ask for anyone better. We both have anxiety and depression, and we were there for each other in dark times. Occasionally he gets a little sick and retracted, and we don't talk as much - worst immune system I've seen in my life - but he's ultimately okay lately. Our first meeting is coming soon.

I'm so stressed planning it - and it's less than two months away. Either finding a family member with a credit card willing to drive me 1,500 miles or going through all the necessary complications of getting photo ID so I can fly... Maybe I'll have to take a bus, but that also sometimes needs ID and isn't very safe... I just wish it was easier to get from Point A to Point B when you're poor. I want to vent to them about it but they've been having such a hard time lately after finishing school, telling me how everyday feels the same, and it breaks my heart and I know how much they need this. I don't want to disappoint them. I need it too.
 
I am honestly so tired of this shit

You told me, upon hiring these two new people that you frankly did not need to hire, that the hours and shifts would be split evenly, so why haven't you kept true to this? More importantly, why is the person who has been working here for four months getting more hours than me, who has been working here for six years? Why are you not even fucking asking me if I want to work these extra shifts? You don't call, you don't email, nothing! I get no alert, you just hand them over to her!

The first time I thought, okay, it's because I put that I wasn't available on Sundays. I will rectify that. So the last time you asked me to give you my availability, I made it painfully clear that I am able to work both days and evenings every single goddamn day of the week. Yet I receive June's shift calendar and all of the day shifts, all of the 8 hour shifts, have been given to her. You didn't even ask. So while I get a meager 75 hours the entire month, she gets almost 100.

This is actually fucking bullshit. I am so angry. I need the hours, you know this, I need them more than ever. I don't understand. And my boss is never fucking here to talk to about it.

I know I should just find another job but there are so many obstacles for me because of my health. Just.

jdfhyusdfskjf
 
I broke down... over an essay.
 
My past is coming back into my life and I feel the anxiety creeping up. I needed to assert myself back then, but I didn't want to seem like a bitch and I still don't. Why does being a nice person have to be so unforgiving? Arrrg!
 
What in the actual fuck!?! Kid threatens to shoot up everyone at prom and graduation, and what does the school district do? Let's the little shit graduate! What the fuck!?!?! Who the fuck does that? What kind of backwards ass idea is this? Give the fucking kid a chance to do exactly what he threatened to? I've heard some stupid ideas before, but this is level of stupidity is mind blowing.
 
Ohno. The Anxiety™ is kicking in.

I should just... try to go to bed now. Staying awake just means getting myself wrapped up in my own thoughts and worries.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom
Back