RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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There's a regular, who comes to the store to use the Wifi. No big deal, everyone does it. He has the tendency to be rude to people at random. It's allowed to slide because he's a veteran so we figure it's tied to some PTSD. No biggy. He's just rough around the edges. Another vet comes in and they start talking about military things that I am not privy to. It's all good, I mind my own business. Conversation starts growing in volume and come to find out the regular has been lying about being a service man this whole time. Years of lies. I just...with knowing the things he's said to people and how he's treated them under this guise...urgh.
 
Well, good news is... I made it through day 1* of that thing that I kept putting off because I knew it would be unpleasant.

Bad news is... I have to keep this up for another 20 days, roughly.

*sigh* It's going to be a long month...

*Well really I guess it's more like half a day, given my sleep schedule, but I doubt the evening/late-night hours will be very difficult.
 
Sometimes, I wish getting into the shower wasn't such an Ordeal.
 
Thanks for the hugs ! I'm better now <3 (rant deleted, cause I hate feeling whiny *LOL*)
 
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Relationships suck, especially when all of those memories you thought were happy and genuine were just fake. Three years of being played like a fiddle sucks.
 
I'm happy my mom is so supportive and patient with me, but some times I wish she'd be a bit more enthusiastic about the guys I meet :-/ she always tells me "no guy will ever be good enough for you, baby girl" and it makes me so happy..yet at the same time, I wish she wouldn't go all cougar scary mom when they were around. I barely date...like AT ALL! This is the fourth guy in my entire life I've actually been serious with, and once again, she looks like she's going to arrest them on the spot when she meets them. I love her to death, and honestly I guess I'd rather her be super protective than not care at all I guess. But I wish she'd be more optimistic about them, and not so 'well they did this one little thing so now I don't like them' kinda thing.
 
"Don't say that, he's still your dad, you don't mean that."

No, fuck you. I do. I really fucking do. Just because he's my father and contributed to my DNA, doesn't mean I want him in my life. The man actively abused me for years. YEARS. And you think, what? That I'm supposed to just forgive and forget just because he's my dad? Fuck that.

True, you know more about what went down with him because you've been dating my mother for more then a decade at this point, but you don't know everything that happened. I didn't tell you everything. I didn't tell my mother everything, and if I won't tell her, what makes you think I'll tell you?

What he did to me was awful; it was fucked up and if I don't want him in my life, then that's my choice, not yours.

You can fuck right off.

(I'm glad my mother is leaving you, asshole >.>)
 
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:))) My train is delayed. Probably going to miss my second train by minutes AGAIN :))))

*internal screaming*

EDIT: DEFINITELY MISSING IT. I CAN'T FUCKING WIN
 
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Why does dating have to be so god damn hard? Seriously fuck this dating shit. If I have to deal with creeps like this guy I'm gonna need to learn to shoot and keep pepper spray on me god. creep.
 
I have discovered a bump under my skin on my arm. I mean, I'm certain it's a cyst, but that's not stopping me from crying. I had one in my ear for years. Finally got that one to drain and now this buddy popped up. Dammit.
 
T^T I was having a real fun time playing some vidya games, until my 3DS battery got low, and I tried looking for my charger, but I couldn't find it, and then I tore my room apart, and still couldn't find it...

Now I have a dead 3DS and a strong feeling of dissatisfaction -- both from the fact that I came up empty-handed after such a thorough and frustrating search, as well as the fact that I wasn't able to finish what I was doing in my game...
 
I hate being unable to let James live with me. I wish he'd get his own apartment soon, but then like last time, hell probably be an idiot and let dozens of homeless drunk criminals live with him and hell get fcked over by the people staying with him.

I also want these variety care people to hurry and get my sugar normal so I can get hernia surgery taken care of. Tired of my health issues, yes including the two heart attacks this month, slowing me from taking care of my life.

My parents are being uncharachteristicly helpful this year, when three years ago they hadn't cared that I was sleeping on the snow and ice in the stalls behind the red building. My legs were black and no one took me in..or helped me even once. Until I met James. I'm guessing my parents are happy they don't have to take me back. Or maybe there's guilty feelings leaking out. Anyway, ill end my rant with: fuck my life.
 
I hurt my shoulder last week while working on a project. The project was finished, but now I'm warring with myself on whether or not I should move on to the next one, or let my shoulder heal completely. It's that thin balance between health and efficiency. It wouldn't be such a problem if I didn't get so locked into "work" mode. I tend to just keep going until projects are done, but where does that leave my shoulder? It doesn't help that I'm an impatient person. I want results yesterday.
 
not even gonna be cute but if i'm enforcing some boundaries i have then there's no fuckin reason i should be called "toxic" for it

like, don't tell me i'm toxic and that "if you act that way to everyone, no wonder no one likes you" when all i did was say what summarizes to "man i am not comfortable with this homie, i'm gonna dip out, sorry"

yikes lmao
 
I'm getting sick and tired of being dropped in the middle of complex projects and being expected to finish them. It's shot like this that makes me seriously consider finding another job.
 
jealousy is such an ugly colour, opal
 
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