Rant your Brains Again!(Once More)

Status
Not open for further replies.
I don't get it. My mind is so fucked up right now.
For some reason, whenever I come back here, the intentions are true, but then i never want to act on them. I have 3-4 bios that I have to produce and I just don't have the motive to produce them. I feel horrible for letting people down, but I just...can't do it right now.

And UGH. Why does this have to happen to you? Why is the guy that I love a psychological nutjob? I thought it was fixed. I'm trying to be careful. And why did it have to happen NOW? I am so horribly in need of you now, and now is when you ask for space. Why can't you just tell me what to do? I LOVE YOU. And you know I'm not her. I would never ever do that to you and you know it, but I still feel so far away from you and you are so guarded. I don't think you see it, but I do.

FUCK, I really need someone to Fuck.
 
-sigh- When I am awake, I an uncomfortable and scared. When I am slightly comfortable, I'm immediately exhausted and I fall into slumber. I can't even spend a day at my friend's house without ending up sleeping. If I am at school, I end up extremely stressed, then go home and as soon as I feel comfortable I wake up on the couch, wondering when I fell asleep. I'll go to bed and struggle with nightmares, then sleep and awaken still wanting to dream. Why? I'm not typically a person who is so easily exhausted, it is as if a fog is over me. I want to sleep and feel refresed when I awaken, ready to take on the world. Instead I wish to go back to sleep, and hide from the world. Damn.. I feel like sleeping now. D:<
 
If that asshole ever touches my sister again I'm going to rip his eyes out through his ass, tie them in a bow around his dick so that it rots off of him. HE cheated on her throughout their 7 year relationship after getting her pregnant after running off with her after badmouthing her to her fiancee at the time. Now you call her a whore in front of your son and beat her after she calls you out on screwing your bitch of her car when she lent it to you. I HATE YOU! IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I'LL STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR OWN INTESTINES, SLICE OFF YOUR ASS AND WHAT WILL BE YOUR DEATH MASK!
 
Ok I get it I fucked up and so I get punished for it, I have no problem there, but why do you as my Nco who should have my back regardless of the situation keep acting like a fucking catty little bitch. Fucking seriously, if you have a problem with me don't just hide behind a 2 inch square patch on your chest and sling mud like I won't retaliate, grow a fucking pair of balls and deal with it like a man. Otherwise, if everything goes the way I want it to, you won't be able to hide for very much longer...
 
ARRGH. I know you have a higher brain function to control this nonsense, but JEESUS, it's STILL hard as all hell to control urges. Urges of ther perverted nature. I'm more than likely moving in with a friend in North Carolina, a friend I met through the internet. I trust them, I've got an intuition about these things, and they haven't given me any reason to distrust them. She has a fiancee, but they have a somewhat open relationship. They've done threesomes, and explored alot, mind you. I have the possibilty of getting some relief for the longest time. BUT, her fiancee, is still iffy about it. I'm not mad at him, I understand his issues, but he's had a threesome before, AND she's had a boytoy before! Hell, I don't even CARE if I get called one. I'd do alot just for some goddamn relief. I know it sounds paltry, complainy, and stupid as hell, but I love the feeling and act of love. It interests me. Makes me happy to see. But when it's dangling in front of my nose, it's like a bacon sandwich to a goddamn wolf. It just sucks. >_<
 
You know you've reached the bottom of the downward spiral when all the songs about heartache and loss start making sense.

I need help...
 
WHY DO I HAVE TO CHANGE MY SCHEDULE FOR A GENERAL'S WIFE! IT MAKES NO SENSE!

also, WHY DO ALL JOBS REQUIRE 2-3 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!

and lastly, just 'cause SCREW THE WORLD!
 
...I'm going to feel stupid typing this but I just need a short vent...

I'm just tired...physically and mentally. I'm unsure about various things and really freaking out about my future too. Did I make a right choice for my future career? Am I cut out for it? What if I fail miserably while in school? I don't want to let everyone down and waste so much money D: What do I want for myself, really? I can't even say that I'm even really happy anymore either heh. More of a delusional form of content perhaps? I've gotten to the point where my eating habits have spiraled downhill (i'm lucky to really eat one REAL meal a day now), sleep is restless or virtually nonexistent, and my focus is almost nonexistent. Been in hyper worry mode lately too if that wasn't evident haha *sigh*....maybe i just need a hug?

So this isn't really an angry rant just a...i'm exhausted physically and mentally will someone just comfort me rant! ...and probably makes no sense but at least i feel a little better now. *plops face-first into bed and lays there* @_@ fucking stress...
 
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk....that is all...-_-
 
I *really* fucking hate the taste of this chinese herbal tea I have to drink to deal with my infections.
 
I bust my balls moving bricks, mow the bloody lawn, run errands and STILL get fucked around.


FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKLFUCKFUCK.

WHY AM I ACTING LIKE SUCH A SELF ENTITLED FUCKWIT?!
 
My anthropology prof recently informed me that she didn't get the essay portion of my mid-term! I filled that fucker out and almost didn't finish in time... That's a downside to online classes, folks. THE SYSTEM IS A RITARD AT TIMES.

And dude, the way she set it up is bogus. It was a bunch of questions that had to be answered separately with their own damn word document. Kay, I didn't save all the answers because that was like 25 word documents and I thought the fucking test would go through. ._. I'm pretty much slapping myself in the face.....

Now, I'm doomed to either lose those 60 points or redo it. I'm unhappy for both results, but would rather be able to make the points up. :( On top of it all, my laptop is being squeaky. I'm positive I just need to clean the fan but I have no money for that can of air.

FUCK. MY. LIFE.
 
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I AM TIRED OF THE COMPUTER CRASHING WHEN I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING UP SHIT AND THEM MAKING ME HAVE TO TYPE IT ALL OVER AGAIN.

FUCK YOU FLASH. FUCK YOU.
 
I'm sorry dear friends that I'm moving forward in my life and that I'm GTFOing BUT I'M NOT WANTING EVERYONE TO COME WITH ME! D:< Half the reason I'm leaving is because I want a blank slate and a fresh start BUT I CAN'T DO THAT IF YOU ALL FOLLOW ME LIKE A LOST PUPPY! D:< GODS!
 
Now I can be annoyed with the amounts of new dumb asses being elected into office. Every candidate from both parties sucked nards. Yeah, I still voted but geez.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom
Back