Rant your Brains Again!(Once More)

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WTF happened. I was doing great with finances and all of a sudden the budget takes a downturn and it's like I can't catch up. WHERE THE EFF IS ALL THE MONEY GOING?! And is it so damn hard for my so-called friends to accept that I get really PAINFULLY lonely and I seriously would rather clean up their houses and help them with menial chores than stay at home by myself for another goddamn minute? Be a real friend and let me feel useful for once in my life.

Also, where the EFFING EFF did my muse go?! I can't write, role play, GM, DM, sew, plan, or even doodle. I am creatively dry as a bone. A very very dry bone. WHERE DID SHE GO?!
 
Noooo, they turned a potentially awesome chance to work on a surviving WW2 era sub into a fucking "Family Fun Day." Seven months of research into the crew down the drain because the Board of Directors decided to make into some stupid carnival.

Main reason I'm bitching is because it involved doing a lot of organizing of people and some of my own money to get people uniform pieces...They won't go if it is a stupid county fair sort of deal, and I'm of the same mind set because I don't like doing "Candy Apple Fests" when it comes into doing University level research.
 
A woeful tale of nerdy plight:

I hate making dumb mistakes in an RPG that I can't fix, and now I have to play a game with crappy stats and items because my brain synapses have one too many system failures. >:O fookkkkk.

Playing Valkyrie Profile, btw... Requires meticulous management that actually isn't difficult, but dumb mistakes will eff you in the butt. And I make dumb mistakes a lot.
 
Daiki said:
Noooo, they turned a potentially awesome chance to work on a surviving WW2 era sub into a fucking "Family Fun Day." Seven months of research into the crew down the drain because the Board of Directors decided to make into some stupid carnival.

Main reason I'm bitching is because it involved doing a lot of organizing of people and some of my own money to get people uniform pieces...They won't go if it is a stupid county fair sort of deal, and I'm of the same mind set because I don't like doing "Candy Apple Fests" when it comes into doing University level research.
Click to expand...

motherfuckers. that actually makes me rage, partly because i love WW2 era subs, but on the other side of things, as a kid i once had a tour of an old sub.
those memories make me happy to this day, and that fairs just a chance for a few more kids to feel the same.
 
I hate legal shit!
I hate myself for messing up horribly when I was 18, because now 2 years later it's coming to bite me in the ass!
Also i hate how Chicago handles Its Judicial system!
(..ok, I'm done!)
 
I know, through mostly secondhand experiances, how that feels Sweet. Come ring me up whenever you might need me. I'm here for you and you know that.
 
@ Sweet Taboo. I can relate to your problems. You're not alone.
 
My muse is starting to leave again, and it always happens after I have decent spark of creativity. I'm really stating to think that maybe I'm not cut out for writing. I mean I enjoy doing it, but I can get that feeling from typing anything. I just can't ever seem to come up with anything that seems relatively interesting for others to read, and it's really starting to suck, and bog down my confidence in writing.

I'm surrounded by gifted writers, and artist whenever I log onto this site, and I just can't seem to find my niche in the site's talent hierarchy.

Bah...
 
Get out of my mind, dammit...

I'm trying to forget you but you keep coming to me in my dreams.

What do I have to do to forget about you?!
 
Day of rehearsal dinner for my bro's wedding, I'm kinda scared. I mean, this is my brother. Something always happens. anyways, the wedding's the day after that, and I'm still really confused on how we got to this point.

Also, Adam's pestering me again.

Also, I drank last night. And I know there's going to be alcohol around for the next few nights. Sooooo whoohoo, and with the shit I've dealt with, I might just steal a Malbec and run away from this all.

Also, an old friend is trying to come back into my life, and doesn't get the fact that I hated her. Hell, when we were kids, I got into so much trouble with her, and it would ALWAYS be blamed on me. She's an absolute bitch.

Also, I just feel horrible right now, I hope I'm not coming down with something.
 
Time for a rant about my family~

Oh yes, Mom, please feel free to tell me that you're going to take a 30 minute run and turn it into three hours in which I have no freaking idea where you are while I have to watch my little siblings because my lazy older sister decides to not even tell me that you're taking me to the grocery store once you get back and just goes off with her tool of a boyfriend. "I'll talk to you in a few minutes" yeah, a few turned into another thirty with your children that for starters, I didn't even want, and that annoy you, too! And this isn't the first time you've done something like this to me! You've done this to me with similar stuff on multiple occasions now! The worst part about this is that you complain about everything while I complain about none of this to your face. RA-RA-RAAAAGEEEEEEEE.
 
Fuck you! You love me? You miss me? You hate how we don't talk anymore? Maybe because every time I open my mouth you either make fun of me or get pissy because I'm missing your point! I'm apparently not allowed to disagree with you either. I'm artsy and intelligent? WTF? I don't get to draw and write anymore because I'm waiting on you fucking hand and foot and you get bitchy if iyou aren't the center of my attention ALL THE FUCKING TIME. And you know what else? I'm a c-cup. I have a fanfuckingtastic figure and I have men all but throw themselves at my feet more often than I can even believe. I DO NOT NEED to loose weight. I'll never be one of those porn girls, I'm SO SORRY! Though god knows I have humiliated myself for you enough I could have bought a house in fucking jamaca by now... I was confident once, I was bright and funny and outgoing and YOU made me this twitchy nervous wreck! I threw my life away for you and all you do is whine about how un-affectionate I am, when you aren't shoving me off for being to clingy! You never wanted a wife! You like the idea of having the hot brainy redhead chained to your side to fuss and coo over the things you like and beg you to bend her over wherever the fancy strikes you. I'm not a fucking mind reader!

Love is not anything that will ever be beautiful. It is ugly and destructive and ...I'm to tired to adjective right now.

MOAR RUM.
 
Sometimes I just shake my head and smile in something akin to mild amusement because being frustrated will only take you so far.
 
THE GLASS IS STILL IN MY TOE AND IT HURTS! THE SUNBURN ISN'T HELPING EITHER! D:<
 
It's 11pm and I should've gone to bed an hour a go but I can't sleep because I (a)stayed up all night and ruined my sleeping schedule this weekend, and (b)Am so nervous about tomorrow.

Tomorrow starts the last week of school, and we're fixing some circuit cards all by ourselves. I'm sure I'll pull through, but I'm getting all anxious anyway because I have the self-confidence of a rock. Throughout the entire class I've always been asking for help and I always have to refer to my ntoes and I can't recite anything from memory. for SOLDERING! SOLDERING! This is SIMPLE shit. -headdesk-

Now, not only do we have to do the entire thing by ourselves, but if we fuck it up we can't just start over like in the past. No, we have to figure out how we're actually going to salvage our fuckup and fix it, and that worries me the most because I know I'm going to fuck up at least once.

To make matters worse, it's all week. They say the class typically is done by wednesday but knowing me I'll still be working on shit right down to the second on friday, hoping to god I pass. Fuck me.

And if I don't get it? If I don't get my certification? Bye bye Japan. Which, most of you probably don't know, I'm going to August 10.

SPEAKING OF JAPAN.
I have a bunch of shit that I can't seem to get rid of. I don't want to bring two seabags and a garment bag to Japan. I'd like to only have one seabag and a garment bag. All I have are uniforms and some books and like 3 days worth of civilian clothes. WHY DOES THIS TAKE UP SO MUCH SPACE? I feel like I have enough shit to fill a house when I know I don't. So I'm trying to get rid of more stuff but I just can't seem to part with anything that actually takes up a lot of space. Auuugh.

On august 6, I'm supposed to camping with this person, who is female, but is confused if they're an androgyne or FtM. I'm not sure what to call them either right now. She likes me. I am kind of interested in her but because of the whole Japan thing I don't want to get into a relationship. But STILL, my brain keeps thinking "Oh hay sexual stuff" and I'm like "But they wouldn't like that" but my brain is "OHAY SEXUAL STUFF."
I tried to breach the subject with them, like, since we're staying in the same tent and everything. But when I was alluding to the "permission" of doing sexual things, they were totally ignorant so I just dropped it thinking it was better that way.
I hope I don't do something stupid when I'm with them. ._.
I am known for doing stupid sexual shit.

Then I come back on the 9th, and have to pack all my shit up and get ready to go to Japan early on the 10th. Then, oh it gets worse. I have 17 hours IN THE AIR, I didn't even BOTHER adding up how long I'll be going through airports and be stuck on the ground. I have three flights I need to be on, and I'm not getting to Japan until August 11th at 10PM. -headdesks-

EVEN WORSE, we're being deployed "soon after" I get there. How soon? RIght when I get there? A couple days? A week, maybe?
"I can't discuss that over email." So not only am I going to be super anxious about going to a new place, and suffering from jet lag, and fearing my skills as a solder tech (and questioning my sanity) and extremely nervous over living on a ship, but I get to not even really settle down or enjoy Japan before I get swifted of to some foreign classified area where the marines are going to do classified things.

To top it all off I have an ingrown toenail that hurts like a bitch, but I'm too afraid to address it here since it may prevent me from going to Japan, and I'm too afraid to immediately address it once I get to Japan because I don't want to look like I was purposefully hiding it. And oh, I also need new glasses.

-cries like a baby-
 
It's not that there's nothing important going on. There are things--many things, but I liked to think of this place as an escape... of a sort... at times... yeah... so my post will speak of petty things.

I think I could manage joining an RP, but only one at most. I can't decide which one.
 
long flights are a prick Q, i flew for about 12 hours to Bangkok, spent an hour or two at Bangkok airport waiting for the connecting flight to Rome.

If i have any advice, its this; do your best to sleep, and move your legs so you dont get DVT or some shit. blood clots suck major arse.

as to the other things, well, i know fuck all about soldiering and girls, so i cant help you there, wish i could mate, in any case, do what you think is right, do it to the best of your abilities, and you cant really do much more.
 
I know but it still sucks.

As for long flights, I have experience with them. I was on a 15 hour one-way trip to Hawaii... Twice.
But both times it was first class and both times still sucked and LOL three flights paid for by the military to Japan is DEFINITELY NOT First class.
I'm not too worried about legs. Mostly it's my back. I feel 50. The plane ride's gonna fucking kill it.

Thanks for the suggestions/help. ;_;
 
WE HAVE COME TO TERMS
 
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