Murder Tale VI: Space Jam [Non-Canon]

[Gwazi Magnum]

For a moment, Isaiah paused, contemplating what Terry was suggesting they do.

"Mister, Crews, I'm starting to think that you have just had an absolutely incredible idea... I would not be opposed to what you're suggesting."​

Wild Dog was hanging from the rim of a basketball hoop

Dying

Y'know, no big deal or anything

@No-one in particular​

"Oh Yeah! Together you and I shall be the ultimate suave..." getting cut off as he noticed something odd...
Someone was dying... In a basketball court.

Quickly rushing over and looking up at the hoop he began shooting old Spice out of his feet, propelling him up towards the hoop like jetpacks before he bunched the hoop.
The punch breaking the basketball hoop off the board he would then grab it, and then descend back onto the ground.

Or at least that's what he would have done if Mustafa didn't ninja beat him to it. Regardless, he chose to state to the new not dying individual.

"You look like you could have used some Bear Glove!".

@The Tactician @DapperDogman​

 

[Mu]

Noticing the... boy...? sticking to the corner, and not wanting to intrude on whatever the hell was going on with the large group, Buttercup approached Emalf with confidence. Although, admittedly, she was unsure why he was garbed in some sort of costume with wings and horns. But, to each their own, she supposed. "..Excuse me, but I don't suppose you happen to know where we are?" she inquired, calmly and politely. Or, well, at least as politely as Buttercup ever was. All the poor princess wanted to know was-.. "..And what is that ball you're holding? I've never seen something designed in such a manner."

Oh.

@Sen​

He turned to face the human girl with curiosity, his eyes scanning over her clothes. A little old-fashioned, but she was still cute. "Heeeey there," the demon greeted, adjusting his shades. He had noticed her manner of speaking already, polite and had manners, something that the ladies of the Gray Garden obviously lacked. Shame, but then again, he had been chased out of the Gray Garden thanks to their guardians. "Dunno, missy. But it looks like we're gonna be playing some basketball."

"I- It's a basketball. You dunno what a basketball is, missy?" Holy- was she from the olden days? This was like a story-book type of situation!

@Hospes​

 

[DapperDogman]

Noticing the man hanging from the hoop, Isaiah cocked a brow before disappearing momentarily and then reappearing with the man in his arms. It seemed little could be done without a proper doctor here, however, with Old Spice Timber at his command...

"Arise, hockey player. You do not need to cease living in this place!"

And by the power invested in him by Old Spice, Isaiah set to work healing Wild Dog quickly.​

Opening an eye slowly, the male coughed quietly "What the..."
"Did you just spray me with Old Spice to heal me?"
Slipping his mask up, the male would spit out a mouthful of blood
"Whatever you did, thanks"

Turning to the much more muscular man, he was clearly impressed "If Bear Glove gives me muscles like those...count me in, big guy"

@The Tactician @Gwazi Magnum​

 

[Khan of the Mardu]

Opening an eye slowly, the male coughed quietly "What the..."
"Did you just spray me with Old Spice to heal me?"
Slipping his mask up, the male would spit out a mouthful of blood
"Whatever you did, thanks"

Turning to the much more muscular man, he was clearly impressed "If Bear Glove gives me muscles like those...count me in, big guy"

@The Tactician @Gwazi Magnum​

"Yes, I did spray you with Timber, and no trouble at all, my fine hockey player acquaintance. I am Isaiah Mustafa and my muscular companion is Terry Crews, come, tell us your name."

@Gwazi Magnum @DapperDogman​

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Opening an eye slowly, the male coughed quietly "What the..."
"Did you just spray me with Old Spice to heal me?"
Slipping his mask up, the male would spit out a mouthful of blood
"Whatever you did, thanks"

Turning to the much more muscular man, he was clearly impressed "If Bear Glove gives me muscles like those...count me in, big guy"

@The Tactician @Gwazi Magnum​

"Oh, Bear Glove gives you a lot more than just Muscles" Terry reassured.
Before a mini Terry came out from all the sides of the man's vision all saying "He's right!" before vanishing as fast as they appeared.

"Speaking of which... I'm getting hungry".

Terry then shouting at the Basketball hoop the man was just stuck in, had it turn into a giant vending machine... Which them proceeded to crash to the ground since it was no longer attached to the wall.
Punching inside to get himself a bag of chips, he asked "Want any?".

@The Tactician @DapperDogman​

 

[Khan of the Mardu]

"Oh, Bear Glove gives you a lot more than just Muscles" Terry reassured.
Before a mini Terry came out from all the sides of the man's vision all saying "He's right!" before vanishing as fast as they appeared.

"Speaking of which... I'm getting hungry".

Terry then shouting at the Basketball hoop the man was just stuck in, had it turn into a giant vending machine... Which them proceeded to crash to the ground since it was no longer attached to the wall.
Punching inside to get himself a bag of chips, he asked "Want any?".

@The Tactician @DapperDogman​

"No, but thank you, Terry. I'm actually quite full due to my shoot not having started when we were brought here."​

 

[Crow]

"Elsa huh... I guess I'll introduce myself... my name is Mirei. Hayasaka Mirei... I came here for idol-related business. Last time I went to a sports event on the job, it was baseball."

@Bomb @Archmage Jeremiah​

 

[DapperDogman]

"Yes, I did spray you with Timber, and no trouble at all, my fine hockey player acquaintance. I am Isaiah Mustafa and my muscular companion is Terry Crews, come, tell us your name."

@Gwazi Magnum @DapperDogman​

"I mostly go by Wild Dog, but my name's Jack, Jack Wheeler"

"This spray stuff seems pretty miraculous"

He glanced between the pair, before taking some chips from the vending machine slowly "Say, could I get some?"

He slowly opens the bag, moving his mask up slightly to chew quietly as he looked between the two

@The Tactician @Gwazi Magnum​

 

[Krieg]

"Ranks, form! Attention, hut! Attention, rest!"

The shuffling of hundreds upon hundreds of blasters echoed on the desolate icy wasteland that was hidden away at the far reaches of the Outer Rim. A remnant of the Empire stood firm as fierce deniers of the New Republic, claiming loyalty to those prosperous yet troubled times of tyranny. Like the First Order, the Second and a Half Order held a certain zeal to them, fanatically clinging to their ghastly ideals of peace through power, prosperity through control, advancement through autocracy. Upon the platform before the regiments of imperial stormtroopers, rows of prestigious and honored generals stood side-by-side.

Soon, the echoes of snug leather boots echoed, beginning to arise from afar onto the platform itself. A black cloak shrouded the nightmarish form, boring only the colors of silver and black, with a frightening haunting mask of the abyss. The lack of symbols or decorations, the evil simplicity of the somewhat short figure's robes was almost shockingly imposing. Something about him was unsettling, disturbing even, as if he had tapped into the foul, unspeakable side of the Force. As the stormtroopers raised their hands up into a salute, the cloaked augur of darkness raised his hand, motioning them to go back at ease.

"At ease, troopers!" he spoke, his voice cracking, yet masked underneath the voice changing module of his mask. "Today is the day that we shall celebrate our own anniversary of our defeat! As the New Republic sits and squander in our rightful planets, eating our food, marrying our beloved ones, and corrupting our society with degenerative filth, we, the Second and a Half Order, shall rise from the ashes! My father served alongside all of your fathers, and by the Force, we will reclaim ourselves! WE ARE THE EMPIRE! WE ARE THE PAST, THE PRESENT, THE FUTURE..."

"AND TODAY WILL MARK THE FALL OF THE NEW REPUBLIC!"

The troopers saluted with their arms extended outwards in unison, chanting as the ground shuddered and the sky shifted to a fiery red. Electricity danced in the cosmos, outliens of faint vessels whirling and crying out as their photon engines pushed further and further into the atmosphere. As the cloaked boy gazed upwards, he could see the faint insignia of the incoming aircraft, their wings forming an iconic and troubling "X". Growing worried, the follower of the Sith reeled behind the stage and podium, docking and crouching as high-powered blaster rounds tore into the white earth, sending panicked troopers scrambling for anti-aircraft weapons.

For Tylo-Kun, it was too late for the Partisans. The Death Shipper was charged and ready.

As the Second and a Half Order waged a hasty defense against their invading opposition, Tylo-Ken bolted through the woods and forests of this forgotten planet. He had to get to the rift, it was his only shot of having any hope of restoring the Empire. By crossing realms and hopefully conversing with powers of higher realms of intelligence and physical form, virtually bending the reality, only then could Tylo-Ken follow in the footsteps of his Father.

Two buzzing beams of ejected Kyber crystals sonorously boomed behind him, causing the boy to stop, a soft chuckle muffled underneath the confines of his dark mask.

"Prince Ronan..."

He could see by the glowing of the sabers the face of a man whom he mistaken for his sister, only to turn out to be his brother. Tylo-Kun was unsure of how his family lineage spawned such a close family member, let alone how he didn't manage to notice that Ronan was actually a rather masculine man. Women, after all, di not typically have beards, though how could he be blamed? The dress simply confused Tylo-Kun, and it probably didn't help that his mask was quite blurry sometimes.

"Why, Ty-Kun? I was your sister! And brother! Well, actually just sister, but I didn't think you be so stupid enough to not notice me crossdressing..."

"You will not call me that, I am Tylo-Kun! A-And I knew it from the beginning, b-baka...!"

"Damnit Ty-Kun, you were suppose to bring balance to the Ships, not leave it in darkness!"

"I said, do not call me that!"

"How could you abandon me, abandon our family name?! I loved you!"

"ENOUGH!"

"...Very well, as they say, a Sith only deals in absolutes. I will do what I must..."

For hours, they fought in the depths of these woods, Tylo-Kun's cracked lightsaber with the ancient crossguard able to parry his brother-sister's Ronan's brutal attacks. For hours, they conjured the Force and the Ships against one another, causing many headaches and cringes throughout their body. And yes, for hours, they also played rousing games of Payday 2 and Left 4 Dead 2 on their spare time as well as casually chatting about Life is Strange theories.

But at the end of the day, Tylo-Kun lunged after Ronan, before he could feel the hot plasma severing one of his legs. With a cry, just outside the rift conjured by the Death Shipper, Tylo-Kun went tumbling towards the entrance. Reeling back, crying in pain, the Jedi pointed his two sabers towards the downed follower of the Sith. With a desperate face, Ronan poetically screamed out to his relative. Actually, were they even brothers at all? I suppose if you think about it, we're all brothers and sisters. Ew, gross.

"Just join the Jedi, u fockin' shit!"

And by the powers of the Force, Tylo-Kun's wounded form levitated himself through the rift conjured by the Death Shipper. There, a dumbfounded Ronan stood, the words of that dastardly demiboy ominously echoing out....

"no fuck u."

~**~**~

hey

its tylo-kun

he is just here now after flopping onto the ground

was you expecting something more after all of that

lol no cut me some slack

he got up and looked around

he took a deep breath

and realized in that moment of euphoria

it was time

to slam

@OrlandoBloomers @Atomyk @TheSpringwoodSlasher @Schnee Corp Lawyer @Verite @others​

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

"I mostly go by Wild Dog, but my name's Jack, Jack Wheeler"

"This spray stuff seems pretty miraculous"

He glanced between the pair, before taking some chips from the vending machine slowly "Say, could I get some?"

He slowly opens the bag, moving his mask up slightly to chew quietly as he looked between the two

@The Tactician @Gwazi Magnum​

As Wild Dog would be eating the chips, a Terry Crews would suddenly pop out of it and exclaim "It's more than just Spray! It's also Body wash and a variety of Male Hygiene products! All to give you more Body Odour blocking power!".

@The Tactician @DapperDogman
​

 

[C.T.]

A less than graceful mix of spit and blood intermingled as Revy's boot smashed into Roberta's stomach and sent her skidding back. Steadying herself, she raised her forearm and wiped any traces of the spittle off and stared Revy down.

"Figured you wouldn't fall for the same trick twice. So you've improved."

Cracking her neck from side to side, Roberta glanced down where a conveniently placed basketball had rolled near her feet.

"Let's see how much."

Slipping her foot under the basketball, Roberta flung it into the air. As the ball started to descend downwards, Roberta's face twisted into a sneer.

Her foot slammed into the side of the ball and sent the ball rocketing towards Revy. Lowering her foot to the ground as the ball soared, Roberta sprinted towards Revy. If she dodged the ball, then Roberta would take her ass down to the ground. Tied shoelaces or not.

@C.T. ​

"Can't say the same shit 'bout you." Revy retorted with a scoff as the ball came in. "You seem to have gotten worse, Bloodhound." In an instant, one of Revy's guns were drawn, cocked, aimed and fired.

The punctured ball deflated instantly, losing it's thrown momentum and dropping to the floor, the deflated basketball sliding to rest against her boots and she kicked it to the side. "Maid work must have rotted your memory to shit. I didn't get my reputation in a place like Roanapur for nothing. This isn't fucking high school, dumbass. If you want to go play games, go ask the pony or the Disney reject or hell, half these fuckers." She cut herself short as Roberta barreled in like a torpedo. Lunging forward herself, Revy swung her arm in a wide arc, aiming to pistol whip one of the bitch's teeth out.

@TheSpringwoodSlasher​

 

[OrlandoBloomers]

"Ranks, form! Attention, hut! Attention, rest!"

The shuffling of hundreds upon hundreds of blasters echoed on the desolate icy wasteland that was hidden away at the far reaches of the Outer Rim. A remnant of the Empire stood firm as fierce deniers of the New Republic, claiming loyalty to those prosperous yet troubled times of tyranny. Like the First Order, the Second and a Half Order held a certain zeal to them, fanatically clinging to their ghastly ideals of peace through power, prosperity through control, advancement through autocracy. Upon the platform before the regiments of imperial stormtroopers, rows of prestigious and honored generals stood side-by-side.

Soon, the echoes of snug leather boots echoed, beginning to arise from afar onto the platform itself. A black cloak shrouded the nightmarish form, boring only the colors of silver and black, with a frightening haunting mask of the abyss. The lack of symbols or decorations, the evil simplicity of the somewhat short figure's robes was almost shockingly imposing. Something about him was unsettling, disturbing even, as if he had tapped into the foul, unspeakable side of the Force. As the stormtroopers raised their hands up into a salute, the cloaked augur of darkness raised his hand, motioning them to go back at ease.

"At ease, troopers!" he spoke, his voice cracking, yet masked underneath the voice changing module of his mask. "Today is the day that we shall celebrate our own anniversary of our defeat! As the New Republic sits and squander in our rightful planets, eating our food, marrying our beloved ones, and corrupting our society with degenerative filth, we, the Second and a Half Order, shall rise from the ashes! My father served alongside all of your fathers, and by the Force, we will reclaim ourselves! WE ARE THE EMPIRE! WE ARE THE PAST, THE PRESENT, THE FUTURE..."

"AND TODAY WILL MARK THE FALL OF THE NEW REPUBLIC!"

The troopers saluted with their arms extended outwards in unison, chanting as the ground shuddered and the sky shifted to a fiery red. Electricity danced in the cosmos, outliens of faint vessels whirling and crying out as their photon engines pushed further and further into the atmosphere. As the cloaked boy gazed upwards, he could see the faint insignia of the incoming aircraft, their wings forming an iconic and troubling "X". Growing worried, the follower of the Sith reeled behind the stage and podium, docking and crouching as high-powered blaster rounds tore into the white earth, sending panicked troopers scrambling for anti-aircraft weapons.

For Tylo-Kun, it was too late for the Partisans. The Death Shipper was charged and ready.

As the Second and a Half Order waged a hasty defense against their invading opposition, Tylo-Ken bolted through the woods and forests of this forgotten planet. He had to get to the rift, it was his only shot of having any hope of restoring the Empire. By crossing realms and hopefully conversing with powers of higher realms of intelligence and physical form, virtually bending the reality, only then could Tylo-Ken follow in the footsteps of his Father.

Two buzzing beams of ejected Kyber crystals sonorously boomed behind him, causing the boy to stop, a soft chuckle muffled underneath the confines of his dark mask.

"Prince Ronan..."

He could see by the glowing of the sabers the face of a man whom he mistaken for his sister, only to turn out to be his brother. Tylo-Kun was unsure of how his family lineage spawned such a close family member, let alone how he didn't manage to notice that Ronan was actually a rather masculine man. Women, after all, di not typically have beards, though how could he be blamed? The dress simply confused Tylo-Kun, and it probably didn't help that his mask was quite blurry sometimes.

"Why, Ty-Kun? I was your sister! And brother! Well, actually just sister, but I didn't think you be so stupid enough to not notice me crossdressing..."

"You will not call me that, I am Tylo-Kun! A-And I knew it from the beginning, b-baka...!"

"Damnit Ty-Kun, you were suppose to bring balance to the Ships, not leave it in darkness!"

"I said, do not call me that!"

"How could you abandon me, abandon our family name?! I loved you!"

"ENOUGH!"

"...Very well, as they say, a Sith only deals in absolutes. I will do what I must..."

For hours, they fought in the depths of these woods, Tylo-Kun's cracked lightsaber with the ancient crossguard able to parry his brother-sister's Ronan's brutal attacks. For hours, they conjured the Force and the Ships against one another, causing many headaches and cringes throughout their body. And yes, for hours, they also played rousing games of Payday 2 and Left 4 Dead 2 on their spare time as well as casually chatting about Life is Strange theories.

But at the end of the day, Tylo-Kun lunged after Ronan, before he could feel the hot plasma severing one of his legs. With a cry, just outside the rift conjured by the Death Shipper, Tylo-Kun went tumbling towards the entrance. Reeling back, crying in pain, the Jedi pointed his two sabers towards the downed follower of the Sith. With a desperate face, Ronan poetically screamed out to his relative. Actually, were they even brothers at all? I suppose if you think about it, we're all brothers and sisters. Ew, gross.

"Just join the Jedi, u fockin' shit!"

And by the powers of the Force, Tylo-Kun's wounded form levitated himself through the rift conjured by the Death Shipper. There, a dumbfounded Ronan stood, the words of that dastardly demiboy ominously echoing out....

"no fuck u."

~**~**~

hey

its tylo-kun

he is just here now after flopping onto the ground

was you expecting something more after all of that

lol no cut me some slack

he got up and looked around

he took a deep breath

and realized in that moment of euphoria

it was time

to slam

@OrlandoBloomers @Atomyk @TheSpringwoodSlasher @Schnee Corp Lawyer @Verite @others​

 

[Midnight Maiden]

He turned to face the human girl with curiosity, his eyes scanning over her clothes. A little old-fashioned, but she was still cute. "Heeeey there," the demon greeted, adjusting his shades. He had noticed her manner of speaking already, polite and had manners, something that the ladies of the Gray Garden obviously lacked. Shame, but then again, he had been chased out of the Gray Garden thanks to their guardians. "Dunno, missy. But it looks like we're gonna be playing some basketball."

"I- It's a basketball. You dunno what a basketball is, missy?" Holy- was she from the olden days? This was like a story-book type of situation!

@Hospes​

Similarly, Buttercup immediately noticed that the male spoke in a much different manner than herself. It was quite odd - she didn't recall ever hearing anyone speak in such a way before. But it hardly mattered, given the circumstances, so she maintained a sense of composure. However, as the demon spoke, Princess Buttercup felt herself growing confused. "...'Basketball'?" she repeated, testing the term on her tongue. It was foreign to her, and combined with her British accent, it probably sounded almost as odd as it felt to say.

Shaking her head when asked if she knew what a basketball was, she looked at the demon with curiosity. "What purpose does this... Basketball... serve?"

@Sen​

 

[Mu]

Similarly, Buttercup immediately noticed that the male spoke in a much different manner than herself. It was quite odd - she didn't recall ever hearing anyone speak in such a way before. But it hardly mattered, given the circumstances, so she maintained a sense of composure. However, as the demon spoke, Princess Buttercup felt herself growing confused. "...'Basketball'?" she repeated, testing the term on her tongue. It was foreign to her, and combined with her British accent, it probably sounded almost as odd as it felt to say.

Shaking her head when asked if she knew what a basketball was, she looked at the demon with curiosity. "What purpose does this... Basketball... serve?"

@Sen​

"Yeah, basketball." Watching her pronouncing the word was like watching a baby taking its first few step. And her accent didn't exactly make it sound any better. "W- What does a basketball do? Well, uh, ya use it to play a round of basketball! Ya score a point when ya shoot it through those nets over there, see?" Emalf pointed at the huge goalposts at the end of each court, the high net suspended off it and its height looking quite intimidating. Though the demon was sure if he made a nice jump he would be able to dunk. "Don't the men from where ya from play ball games or something, missy?"

@Hospes​

 

[BarrenThin]

After a moment of shocked silence, Shen began to laugh at Darius breaking his back. It was hearty, truly warm laughter. When he recovered enough, wiping his tears, he spoke. "Well, aren't you delightfully brutal? Are you sure you aren't a Sith?"

@Saint Guillotine
@DapperDogman
@C.T.
@TheSpringwoodSlasher​

 

[Ringmaster]

After a moment of shocked silence, Shen began to laugh at Darius breaking his back. It was hearty, truly warm laughter. When he recovered enough, wiping his tears, he spoke. "Well, aren't you delightfully brutal? Are you sure you aren't a Sith?"

@Saint Guillotine
@DapperDogman
@C.T.
@TheSpringwoodSlasher​

"Sith? No- I'm something more greater."

He grinned and gestured with his thumb to his shirt.

"I'm a Noxian. We taste blood before mothers milk and its blood of our enemies that make our nation great."

Well....At one point anyway.

Until the dunk prophecies came true.

@BarrenThin​

 

[BarrenThin]

"Sith? No- I'm something more greater."

He grinned and gestured with his thumb to his shirt.

"I'm a Noxian. We taste blood before mothers milk and its blood of our enemies that make our nation great."

Well....At one point anyway.

Until the dunk prophecies came true.

@BarrenThin​

"Trust me when I say that you'll find no stronger force than the might of the Sith Order. But... you act like one. Are all Noxians like you? Perhaps some of them are Force Sensitive. I could use another apprentice."

@Saint Guillotine
@DapperDogman
@C.T.
@TheSpringwoodSlasher​

 

[Midnight Maiden]

"Yeah, basketball." Watching her pronouncing the word was like watching a baby taking its first few step. And her accent didn't exactly make it sound any better. "W- What does a basketball do? Well, uh, ya use it to play a round of basketball! Ya score a point when ya shoot it through those nets over there, see?" Emalf pointed at the huge goalposts at the end of each court, the high net suspended off it and its height looking quite intimidating. Though the demon was sure if he made a nice jump he would be able to dunk. "Don't the men from where ya from play ball games or something, missy?"

@Hospes​

"..Hm. I see," the woman replied as the demon finished explaining the concept of basketball to her. It seemed odd and irrelevant to the works of things, but she wouldn't point that out. To each their own, after all. But when it came to the inquiry of whether people played ball games? Well, that seemed like quite the silly question, to Princess Buttercup. Who played 'ball games'? There were kingdoms to run, farms to tend to, kidnappers to fend off! "Well... No, they don't. The only 'play'ing I've seen any men partake in is swordplay, and that most certainly doesn't involve any balls," she explained, simply. "Is it common for people to play ball games where you come from?" she queried, pursing her lips.

@Sen​

 

[Ringmaster]

"Trust me when I say that you'll find no stronger force than the might of the Sith Order. But... you act like one. Are all Noxians like you? Perhaps some of them are Force Sensitive. I could use another apprentice."

@Saint Guillotine
@DapperDogman
@C.T.
@TheSpringwoodSlasher​

"Noxians do not serve...But we do assist. Make it worth High Commands while? You might see our banners march alongside your own."

@BarrenThin
​

 

[BarrenThin]

"Noxians do not serve...But we do assist. Make it worth High Commands while? You might see our banners march alongside your own."

@BarrenThin
​

"Ah, but an apprenticeship is less servitude than training to become better. Still, with the galaxy at our fingertips, I'm sure the reward we can give you is beyond your wildest dreams, Noxian."

He stood tall. "I am Darth Shen. The Emperor's Wrath. The Dark Council and most of the known galaxy are subjugated to me, and I answer only to the Emperor himself. So trust that I can provide anything you likely want."

@Saint Guillotine​