Monster House

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"I... understood very little of what you just said, Johnathan. Nark? Cruising? Forgive me, but I'm not.... familiar with those terms. I don't get out of the house much, evidently. Like you said, I... have this old aesthetic, and I suppose I take it rather seriously," admitted Montague, silently proud of himself for developing the lie and not appearing to stumble over his words as he had done when practising for these very sorts of situations. Though, he knew not to get too cocky. If anyone was going to mess up, it would be Montague, and he desperately wanted to prove to his friends that he could be just as cool and successful as they were.

"I've never had a relationship, no. Can't say I've had the chances to. Adalius, I rather liked and thought I could date, but he's obsessed with Anna still, I'm sure. He may not admit it, but I think it's obvious. I, on the other hand, haven't had the pleasure, but it's well past me now. I'm far too old," he explained with a casual and, what he hoped was, a cool shrug. He didn't know why, but he wanted to seem cool in front of the human, who he saw as the epitome of cool. Granted, he also epitomised the modern era, and such a stark contrast to the ideals Monty had grown up with, but Johnathan's compliments and his overall gushing of the home had saved him from being cast as 'common' and 'inferior' by Montague. "...I'm not naive. I have heard of kissing and of sex, you know. Mother taught me all about sex when I was a teenager and hit a growth spurt, s-so I know the basics of coitus, a-actually."​
 
" 'Coitus'? Monty - I can call you that, right? - Monty, you don't need to be so stiff about everything. It's sex, you know? Or 'making love', as my sister likes to call it. Look, sex isn't everything, you know? But it is pretty nice~!" He cooed teasingly, before furrowing his brows at the rather large window peering into his room. It was nice, of course, to finally be in a proper house with heating and whatnot, but he certainly had to get used to so much natural light. Glancing back over at the ghost, he offered a wide smile and a snort, the whole conversation feeling more like describing an old man how people talk on TV.

"Look, I can teach you all the fancy lingo and whatnot. It's nothing too hard to get, y'know? And, for the relationship thing, I promise I can help. I imagine you've got some massive blue balls, going that long not even making out with someone. It's pretty surprising, though I guess I'm not the most normal kid out there. Sorry for the babbling and all that, it's just nice to talk to someone other than my sister every now and then, you know?"
 
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"I... I'm really in no hurry to find a companion, but I would appreciate the teachings, greatly. Adalius and Anna tend to roll their eyes if I fail to understand the reality shows they watch, rather than help me to learn, so... yes, I would quite like that, it'd be helpful! I suppose I ought to move with the times, eventually," grinned Montague happily, mostly taking the offer because he liked the boy opposite. He was polite and kind, as well as cute, so any offer to spend more time with him was immediately seized. Granted, Johnathan wasn't the most polished of characters, but centuries in the house had taught Montague to be a tad more accepting towards others, if only slightly.

"I'll leave you get settled in, then. I'll go pay Anna a visit, tell her to try and be a little more accommodating-- don't be threatened if she does insult you, she doesn't mean any harm. She's just very protective of her home, I suppose. All of this was my idea, because we.... we really do need the rent-- but it comes with the added advantage of making a new friend or two, huh?"​
 
As the other babbled on, John offered a wide grin. The kid clearly had some social issues, and he could relate, as he coolly leaned back to watch the other. He was cute, almost like a small child, and he knew for sure that messing with him was easy.

"Mm, and if you'd like to experiment or practice, I'm always here~!"
 
Breaking into bashful -and embarrassed- giggles at what he thought (and hoped) was a serious proposition, the brown-eyed and clearly rather eccentric man opened his mouth to respond until spotting Madelyn burst into the room, the scowl on her face an indication that her heated discussion with Adalius to try and get him to stop drinking so overtly hadn't ended very well. She was used to defending herself and her brother, violently or not, but to be faced with someone like Adalius who disregarded her as a 'silly little girl' hadn't settled well.

"Oh dear-- has Adalius--?"

"Adalius is such a fucking dumb name," seethed Maddie as she flopped to the spare bed and kicked her sneakers off with a groan. "I mean, whatever, dude. I ain't gonna be his best mate, so it's cool-- I could kick his ass if I wanted, he should be glad I ain't in the mood. I just wanna sleep-- oi, Johnny, d'ya mind ending the conversation with Mark? I wanna relax."

"Oh, I... I'm leaving, don't worry," answered Montague, slightly pouting at the girl's attitude and his name being forgotten, but he rose above it with a simple smile and a snort. "I'll... try and talk to the others, tell them that, as our new guests, you ought to be treated with far more respect..."​
 
"Oi, don't say such rude shit to our landlord," John scolded lightly, though was hardly really angry. After all, he was beyond happy to have his sister defend him, but Montague seemed to genuinely have good intentions. Glancing over at the ghost with a smile, he went as far as to offer a wink and a wave as the other left the room. Once he was out, though, his attention was immediately brought back to Madelyn as he fully flopped back on the bed and kicked his shoes off to let his feet wiggle freely.

"Jeez, what the fuck were you even talking about? I... saw that, that guy had a beer, but you didn't need to go all apeshit and whatnot. I'd like to stay here for awhile, I would be so pissed if we got kicked out because you and some jackass got into a fight. Just... we can stay in our rooms, relax, watch TV... we don't need to get involved with them. Maybe you could use a quick hit, hm?" He cooed, before rummaging his pocket for a proper blunt with a smile. "Come on, I asked Monty if I could smoke, right? And he said yes.'
 
"Monty? Oh god, you do realise he's not exactly normal, don't you? He's probably insane. No normal guy dresses like he's from the olden days and talks like he doesn't even know what a TV is, bro. I don't think getting close to him is gonna do you any good. It'll definitely ruin your reputation on the street with those tough guys you get your drugs from if they see you with that kid," she pointed out with a smug grin across at him. She wasn't entirely a fan of her brother's budding friendship with Montague, because the kid seemed just that: a kid. Besides, she often grew protective, so anybody friendly with Johnathan often received the older sister's third degree.

"Hurry up with that joint, would you? I seriously doubt Monty knows what drugs are, Johnny, but whatever. I need to chill. That Adalius guy is such an ass! He called me 'little girl'. Just 'cause he's freakishly tall doesn't give him any right to talk to me like that, y'know? If we were on the street, I'd have given him a f-fucking right hook. Him and that pale-ass girlfriend of his, or whatever relationship they have, are gonna piss me off. At least your little boyfriend is kinda nice."​
 
"He ain't my boyfriend, Maddie- well, not yet~!" He cooed before smiling wide and handing over the blunt and a proper lighter. "I mean, you have to admit he's cute. He's so... innocent, it's weird. Like, how can someone be like that? I guess we're not, like, normal people. I dunno- how about we have, like, a normal conversation with everyone? I like the idea of getting to know them enough to talk to them and stuff if we need to."
 
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"They're lunatics, Johnny. It's pretty sad that the one nice guy here is an eccentric child. Just... let's keep to ourselves? Life's easier when it's just us against the world, y'know? We don't need buddies. They're our landlords, nothing more than that, so don't treat 'em as more," she muttered in her usually bitter way, her refusal to get involved and bond a result of years of pushing people away. She didn't trust anyone bar her brother, and growing close to someone meant letting down her closely constructed walls. Inviting people into her life only invited the possibility to be hurt, and, after their childhoods, it wasn't something she was willing to risk.

Lighting the neat joint with a roll of her eyes, she tossed the lighter back over to him and drew out a much needed drag. She was by no means a drug addict like her brother, but she enjoyed a high now and then in stressful situations, and this was one of them. "Trust me. You'll thank me later on, Johnny."​
 
"Maddie, chill..." He whined, before sprawling out his bed further, his glazed eyes locked on the ceiling as he waved his hand for the blunt, insisting on another puff. "The guy is cute, so what? We'll probably only be here for like, a few months anyway. It's not a big deal if I flirt with him. He's legal, and cute, so what's the harm? I mean, ain't his ignorance cute? I just want to squish his face, it's so adorable!" He gushed, though added dramatic emphasis by raising his voice. "I wouldn't stop 'ya if you found someone you liked here."
 
"That is a fucking joke, isn't it? I'm gonna assume it's the weed talking, because even I know you ain't that stupid to suggest that I'd like anyone here. Monty's a child in a man's body; that Anna girl is a stone-cold bitch and don't get me started on Adalius. He's pretty... cute, I guess-- BUT he's such a jerk. I don't need anyone, anyway. Fuck, Mom and Dad ruined love for me," mumbled Maddie as she rested her hands behind her head and stared up at the ceiling above, all while scowling fiercely at the suggestion that she may like someone in the house. She didn't really fall in love at all, really. She hadn't had any relationships of note, she didn't kiss anyone at the get-togethers with her brother's drug dealers, and she didn't talk of any men she fancied with her brother. Having seen her parents' marriage, and then having gone into prostitution did subsequently leave her neglecting anything romantic.

"Can we quit talking about it? If you like Montague, good for you, but he'll probably throw us out if he knows you like your drugs, so keep it subtle, alright? We can't pay rent, so yeah, we'll get turned away eventually, but until then, let's try and be perfect housemates. I promise not to argue with that asshole Adalius, okay? Great."​
 
Taking a hard drag of the blunt once more, he lightly put it out by wetting his fingers and smirking from the combination of sharp pain and soft sizzling. Setting it to the side, he simply set his hands behind his head to match his sister and closed his eyes, smiling all the while. After all, despite the bitter discussion, he couldn't help but take in the warmth and general security of being in an actual home.

"Fine, fine. I was joking, sure. How about we spend the next week just getting used to this all, eh? I want to check out the rest of this place. Imagine the cool shit in the attic, eh?"
 
"I'm sure your precious Monty would appreciate you rooting around in his personal crap-- but it does sound fun. There's probably some old stuff we can nick and sell on the street for a few notes," she pondered thoughtfully. Rather than taking excitement from the simple act of searching through some old boxes, possibly back from the day it was built that she had learnt about in school, she was far more switched on than that. Any opportunity to make some cash, she was going to take, even if it was stealing from her new landlords.

"They'll hardly notice, I bet nobody goes up there," she babbled with her eyes now shining brightly, her smile growing for the first time that day. "Dude, we have to go up there. Maybe we should wait until they all go out or somethin'. There's probably old vases, unused cutlery, good shit like that."​
 
"Monty said he doesn't, like, ever leave, though..." he reminded, before turning to lay on his stomach instead and peak through the windows curiously, his eyes having adjusted a tad to the light as he watched the gulls passed by. "What if he catches us? He'll flip shit, Maddie. He'll kick us out, and we'll've only been here for a day. Let's hold off on that, hm? Give it, like, two days or something before we go snooping."
 
"Oh, quit being a coward, would 'ya? I mean, you could distract him while I went up there, or we could just be quiet and subtle about it-- relax, we've stolen shit from stores before without being caught. I think we can hide it from that Montague guy," she muttered, her briefly excited mood deteriorating at her brother's reservations. Granted, he had a point in that they ought to wait a few days before rooting around the attic, but she didn't really excel with patience, and knowing she was possibly sleeping under an attic where they could make a few hundred pounds was difficult to do. "Fine. Tomorrow, we'll have a look when the others go out, alright?"​
 
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"I would love to distract him~!" Replied John, before letting out a cackle. He then proceeded to wrap himself in the moleskin blanket that was formerly laid at the foot of the bed prior, pouting a tad to his sister before scooting close. "Look, let's just revel in the fact that we have a bed, and a proper shower, and food. "
 
Maddie's feelings were unsurprisingly synonymous with Adalius' own sentiments towards her. While Maddie had raved angrily to her brother about the demon, Adalius had done exactly the same with Anna when he burst into her bedroom and proceeded to flop down on her bed without asking if he could even come in. Privacy was alien in the house, more or less, and while Montague was a good person to rant to, given he was a perfect listener, Adalius was aware that he wouldn't do anything but try to convince him that the humans were 'kind' and 'necessary'.

"I mean, she was such a bitch. Can't you rip out her throat or something?" Groaned Adalius, laying out on the bed and kicking off his socks, bringing a can of beer to his lips to swig it down. Adalius and alcohol were never really seen without one another, after all. "I ain't living with her, I refuse. Monty can say we need 'em for rent, but I'd rather starve than put up with them both."​
 
"Trust me, I am well aware of this woman's bitchiness," replied Anna, who was casually reading a book with a mug of tea in her free hand. With the light of a simple lamp, the completely blacked out windows made the room seem somewhat homier, in a way... though, she could still remember how Monty freaked out after she painted the windows pitch black.

"We can't get kicked out, you realize that, right? We'll die. So, I suggest you either man up, or find new tenants."
 
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"Why are you suddenly so calm about it all? You're not one to just turn the other cheek, Anna. Even when you were human. Remember the time I spilled tea all over your apron once, accidentally? You held a grudge for at least a year, and I was a decent guy when I was human, wasn't I? I specifically remember Monty using the term 'angelic', which is ironic given what I am now, huh?" Laughed Adalius in a rare show of amusement, though perhaps being with Anna helped a little. He did date her at one point in his long life, and even though it had been perhaps a month-long string of makeout sessions and occasional sex, it did mean that he couldn't be totally cold with her. At least not as much as he would be, normally.

"Quit trying to spare Monty's feelings, would you? Just because he has that little crush on the druggie doesn't mean we have to tiptoe around and abide them," he continued, giving her a gentle nudge with his foot to make sure he had her full attention. "It's, like, us two against Monty. Couldn't he had found nicer housemates? A bitch and a clear drug-addict wouldn't be my first choices."​
 
"Desperate times call for desperate measures, don't you realize that? Do you honestly think I'm enjoying this? I am literally forcing back every urge I have to cut their tiny little throats, because we need the money and Monty... he's too blind to see what's going on. If he sees how this all fails, I'm hoping he'd learn from it, you know?" She spoke clearly, before taking another sip of tea.
 
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