Magical Vending Machine

[Minibit]

The machine coughs some magic dust at you. You are now unable to become sexually aroused ever.

I insert my friend Laura

 

[Lysander]

You receive my friend Lauren.

I insert your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman.

 

[Mu]

u gots spoodrmayn

I insert a pool with a skull on it.

 

[Lysander]

You receive a slime.

I insert an Orc.

 

[Grothnor]

Hi.

I insert a fork.

 

[Minerva]

You get a Spork.

I insert a Copypasta.

 

[Lysander]

You receive creepypasta.

I insert a Slender Man.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

You get a Sonic OC. With bloodeye.

I insert Wattpad.

 

[Lysander]

You receive fanfiction.net.

I insert Iwaku.

 

[kixinorbit]

You receive an adventuring party that is quickly disbanded, leaving you somewhat disappointed but still wanting more.

I insert a whitewater kayak.

 

[Lysander]

You receive the Titanic.

I insert Avatar (by James Cameron).

 

[Minerva]

You get the 3D gimmick for every single film afterwards.

I insert the Fire Emblem.

 

[Lysander]

You receive Final Fantasy.

I insert a Space Dandy.

 

[Minibit]

You get a space cowboy

I insert the Magic School Bus

 

[Grothnor]

I insert a cat turd.

 

[Lysander]

You receive chocolate bar covered in nuts.

I insert a human spine.

 

[Grothnor]

You get a purple phantom.

I insert an estus flask.

 

[kixinorbit]

You receive a blood vial.

I insert a lightly-used shoelace.

 

[Lysander]

You receive a lightly used hangman's noose.

I insert the Millenium Falcon.

 

[TenFootFuse]

As the Millennium Falcon is inserted into the vending machine you hear grinding, clinking, and the ever-present grumbling of an old man. After a few minutes of this, the vending machine makes a loud coughing sound as it regurgitates up a lego replica of said ship. It might not be best to ask where the legos came from.


With a significant amount of effort, I manage to shove a live goose within the magical machine.