Magical Vending Machine

[Lysander]

You receive a screaming duck.

I insert the 30 DVD seasons of Survivor.

 

[Jhuton]

You receive the hobo that's been living off his fingers in the machine for years

I insert a fragment of my soul

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

The machine screams "Phylactery" repeatedly, and rejects a pearl. You feel like that pearl should stay whole.

I insert a crystal.

 

[LuckycoolHawk9]

The machine spits back out a mangled crystal elephant.

I insert a check for a penny.

 

[Minerva]

The check bounces.

I insert leftover Beef Fried Rice

 

[Jhuton]

The machine digests it with artificial stomach acid and spits it back out in your face

I insert my malfunctioning laptop charger

 

[LuckycoolHawk9]

It throws it back in your face.

I insert an old cell phone.

 

[Jhuton]

The machine spits out the various components for an Iphone

I insert frog's breath

 

[Mu]

You receive a new type of STDs.

I insert a piece of cow's tongue.

 

[LuckycoolHawk9]

You get a calf.

I insert Iwaku.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

You get a replicate of yourself, pretending to be Scooby-Doo.

I insert a liter of water.

 

[LuckycoolHawk9]

You get a tree.

I insert what you gave me, my replica.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

You get the actual Scooby-Doo.

I insert all the branches, individually torn off my previously mentioned tree.

 

[Minerva]

You get a bunch of saplings with no branches and a large pile of leaves.

I insert Battlefield 1

 

[LuckycoolHawk9]

You get Battlefield 2,

I insert Uncharted 1-4.

 

[Razilin]

You get the original Pitfall.

I insert a penny.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

You get a nickel.

I insert the nickel back.

 

[Minerva]

YO MAMA'S SO DUMB, SHE THOUGHT NICKELBACK WAS A REFUND!

I insert A Period Drama.

 

[LuckycoolHawk9]

You get a drama period.

I insert a piece of blank paper.

 

[Shadedflames]

You get a piece of blank paper. Perfect to write notes on! Wow.

I insert a gift card to a adult boutique.