Fate and Misfortune

Not replying immediately, Lukas chose to stay quiet as he contemplated the information passed onto him with genuine interest. That might not have been too obvious when his expression bore little emotional response to the words, remaining fixed in its usual state of stoicism, but inwardly, his mind was racing as he considered the fact that, beyond the woods he had called his home since birth, there were countless cities with monsters who weren't rogue or craved; beings who were capable of rational thought and able to adhere to a lifestyle not too unlike the humans that existed in their place before them (with some obvious exceptions, of course).

Granted, it wasn't too easy for Lukas to consider what those new societies of civilised monsters looked like when he had never set foot in a city before; never seen a building beyond the cabin he now called home. Imagining the monsters, the ones organised into self-determining groups, living a lifestyle he had never had the chance to live did irk him, as it inevitably would do, but the anger and the disgust he felt, though present, didn't overwhelm the genuine curiosity he felt.

When all the monsters he had ever come across were the ones on the fringes of those new societies, rogue and solitary and hellbent on causing chaos in whatever frenzied, animalistic way they could, denying that he wasn't incredibly intrigued at the idea of other monsters having developed and evolved past such tendencies wasn't possible. No, like it or not, his intrigue had been piqued, that emotion gradually falling onto his expression despite his attempt to remain as blank a canvass as he could.

"If there are monsters learning to handle weapons an' all that, we don't stand a fucking chance, do we?" He eventually admitted aloud, having pondered whether to expose that vulnerability and cause a dent in his confidence (both his perception of it and Navi's) but what was the point in withholding that fear? If Navi was on board to help him and, in his weakened state almost reliant entirely on Lukas for defence, why lie and pretend that the idea of these organised groups of trained, rational monsters weren't something to fear and be cautious of?

Perhaps his confession was in part due to Navi's sharing of information, perhaps it was due to the other opening up about his family and sharing something personal that made Lukas feel comfortable opening up a little in return. Frankly, he didn't know why he was lowering his guard (however lightly) to share in a deeper conversation with him - but he didn't dwell on it in that moment, opting to push past his resistance and proceed forward with it.

He could regret it later in the day. For now, letting a little weight off his chest would do him the world of good.

"I mean, I can take down some of the monsters out here in the forests, Navi. Especially if they're on their own and not partnered up with another. But I don't stand a damn chance if... if the ones in the cities, the ones your mother told you about, come venturing out here in search of food. I've been fucking lucky so far to have avoided them, but-- it's scary, yeah. I'm not so scared that I wouldn't fight with everything I've got to protect myself -protect you- but it's-- scary, an' I know I won't manage to take down any of the ones you've talked about. Pretending I could is fucking delusional," he snorted, the rare laughter not necessarily in humour but as a mechanism; a defence against the fear that had gradually risen to his chest and threatened to suffocate him if he thought about it longer than he had to.

"...It's fine. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, yeah? 'Til then, we carry on; keep going on 'cos-- I can't throw you out anytime soon, can I? Not 'til you're healed and that may take some time so... just saying, looks like you'll be sticking around a while longer," he shrugged, as though the invitation for Navi to stay was one that was out of his hands, an unspoken inevitability that he had no choice but to follow through. Of course, that wasn't true - he could easily chuck Navi out into the snow if he so chose to, injured or otherwise, and the fact he wasn't prepared to do so, the fact he was extending the offer to stay in the cabin, said a lot about how keen he was to see the other remain safe - even if he would never admit so aloud anytime soon.

"I ain't telling you to talk, you know I'm not fond of the idea of bonding with you for obvious reasons, but if you have any other... stories about the monsters in the cities, I'm... up for listening. Like you said, it's fucking scary but... it's interesting, y'know? I can feel both ways at once, there's no contradiction there."
 
Navi couldn't stop himself from downright beaming from Lukas' words. He knew his parents would never throw him out because they couldn't, they loved him. Lukas on the other hand? The human had no reason to keep him around. He was useless, took up space and resources, and he was sure that his voice was grating because it was often grating to himself yet here the man was, admitting to in a weird way wanting to keep him around. Those weren't the exact words but that's what he read from them as a wide grin grew on his face and his cheeks ignited with red.

"I... I only know what m-my mom has told me and my siblings h-have reported during their ex - expeditions," the monster stuttered out quietly. It was a lie of course, though he doubt saying that he had witnessed it all firsthand would make much sense when that implied he, a sickly human, climbed the barricade to see the monsters and while he technically did climb it once it wasn't exactly to get in, quite the contrary.

"They've told me that the monsters - they're, um, planning to invade. Not h-human territory, other m-monster settlements. Expananding p-power and whatnot, y'know? Humans are j-just a food source to them," he explained honestly before pursing his lips to try and hold back his smile. This wasn't a smiling matter, he was just… excited to be treated like a person by someone, especially someone so confident and strong. Lukas was the antithesis of him in every single way so to at the very least been given enough respect to be listened to. Perhaps it was reluctantly on Lukas' end but Navi chose to take what he could as he eagerly shifted his weight in the old chair.

"I can't speak - I can't speak f-for the forest monsters….?" He began, uncertain in his phrasing, "but the civilized monsters - they won't get us. T-They've been planning farms - to collect humans 'n raise them, l-like chickens. It's… sick but… they won't mess with us. That's good, right?" He encouraged meekly.
 
"A monster is a monster, civilised or not. Ain't a doubt in my mind that the ones in the city would snap us both up an' cage us up for food, Navi. Don't let your guard down, that'll get you killed. Just 'cos those city ones aren't patrolling the woods and ripping folks to shreds doesn't mean they're nothing to worry about. On the contrary, I worry about the city ones more 'cos they're... intelligent, yeah? Smart tactically. That shit's worrying," admitted Lukas as he, with a deep inhale to prepare himself for the pain, shifted himself up from the kitchen chair and moved to settle on the couch, the added comfort providing a more convenient place to rest after that morning's ordeal.

Granted, he didn't want to have to rest back when there was plenty to be getting on with, plenty to keep his mind active and body alert for any further threat, but pushing himself more than he had to now would only lead to consequences later down the line.

Sacrificing a day to rest was worthwhile if it meant he could be back to full strength, ready to take down anything else that lurked nearby and threatened to disturb his -and now Navi's- quiet existence in the cabin... even if he detested every second he was sat down on the couch rather than on his feet, busying himself with one of his usual duties.

Realising that he had effectively done a good job at wiping away the potential for a little optimism, sweeping away a small crumb of comfort without hesitation, he bit the inside of his cheek in an effort to fight of the unwelcome injection of regret and guilt that hit him. He wasn't accustomed to sharing his company with anyone, having been on his own since he was a teenager, and so, understandably, he had grown used to thinking how he wanted without anyone around to alter the severity and harshness of such opinions. Frankly, he wanted to believe that Navi's presence wouldn't change any aspect of his being, that he would remain just as harsh, unyielding and blunt as he had been for all those years, but doing so hen he could visibly see the excitement on Navi's face (and the threat of wiping that away with some harsh words) made that desire unfeasible to follow without looking like an asshole.

Was he about to take Navi in and promise that they could develop a bond and something akin to a friendship? Far from it - but he reasoned that he could at least afford to be softer in his delivery, be more compromising in the substance of it, without sacrificing the walls that he had built up over the years.

"...I mean, I reckon we'll be alright, you know. It's dangerous out there but we'll muddle through it, won't we? You're smart, you've got all this info about these monsters I never know. Put that together with what I can offer and-- yeah, we'll be fine, Navi. Neither of us have to go worrying too much," he offered to make up for his earlier bluntness, going as far as to offer a smile-- albeit one that barely lifted at the corner of his lips and disappeared shortly after its brief appearance, though it didn't distract from the fact the effort had been made regardless. Finally deciding to ease back into the cushions behind him, he shakily exhaled the breath he had been holding in and dared to go as far as to rest his head back, allowing the pent-up tension within his muscles to ebb - as much as he was willing to allow it to, at least.
 
Naveen watched with a wide, wary eye much like he watched his family; face blank after his initial eager grin faded. He needed to 'read a room' as he heard his siblings murmur amongst one another and that wasn't exactly easy amongst other monsters so acting 'correctly' around a human? That added a whole new layer of complications for him as he kept his place in the kitchen with his cane firmly placed against his chest.

If he were to do as his siblings said and 'read the room' he'd let Lukas wallow in his negativity. He'd shut up like he always did and let the distance he had put between him and his family grow between him and this human because as much as Lukas depended on the walls he learned through tragedy to keep him safe, Navi wasn't much better with his own fears. Perhaps it was the lingering fever that refused to let go of him or the leftover adrenaline he felt from the fear of losing out on the chance of a new beginning, no matter what it was willed the sheepish enshrouded monster to scoot the chair a bit closer to the livingroom area and offer his own meek smile - a smile that did find itself growing at noticing the hint of a smile on Lukas' face as well.

"W-Well, maybe. I don't think t-they'd eat me - I'm, um - I don't have much m-meat on me," Navi pointed out as he lifted an arm for emphasis, the ill-fitted button up giving the illusion of weight that wasn't really there. He then motioned to Lukas vaguely, the idea of pointing directly giving him a weird chill, "and you're too gamey. You... are t-tough, my mother says the ones in captivity - the ones t-that have been captured, they fatten 'em up. Y-You'd be too chewy." He tried to reassure and dared to add a curt laugh before resting his hand on his lap.

It was easy for Navi to shift into his family's - his kind's - mindset of humans being inferior to him. It was true that if Navi really wanted to he could perhaps put up a bit of a fight in his normal form but he certainly couldn't do the damage the now slain monster had done but he still might have a chance, even if he wasn't in his prime. That being said he wasn't going to let the words of his kind that echoed in his head give any influence to his treatment towards Lukas because it was clear he was trying... and struggling just as hard as he was.

Being called smart also helped in lifting his mood, his cheeks flushing at the compliment. This was a person who didn't feel obligated to lie for his sake; he wasn't his family nor was he a monster under his mother's control, so what motivation would Lukas have but to tell the truth. At the feeling of heat growing on his cheeks Navi looked away, knowing he could blame the fever if he needed to.

"Yeah, we'll be okay." He spoke softly, lacking any nervous stutters as he ran his fingers along the wood of his cane to keep them distracted. "The ones in cities - they don't venture into the woods unless they have to. I don't, um... know the area well, I-I don't know how close we are to another settlement but... but if we're far enough from there, we will be okay. I will make sure we are. I know I can't do much but I want to get b-better, and you can help with that." Despite how physically exhausted Navi was there was still a sparkle in his one eye to support his smile and the added thumbs up for emphasis only made his supportive words sound a bit corny, though nevertheless genuine.

"You can rest, I'll be, uh, lookout?" He offered and finally pushed to his feet. With some rest, however brief, Navi could move with a bit more confidence as he double-checked the door and the lock before peering out at the snow as it continued to pile outside.
 
The idea that the monsters beyond the cabin, the ones in the cities, would choose not to immediately devour him based on his muscularity was a thought that brought a laugh out of him, the abruptness of the sound catching him by surprise - but not so much that he saw the need to try and cover it up. As uneasy something as natural as laughing felt to him after so many years of solitude, so many years of convincing himself that shutting down and building up walls was the only way to proceed and guarantee his own survival, he couldn't sit back and pretend that it didn't feel... good; that taking a moment to accept that someone's company wasn't the disaster he had first reasoned it to be wasn't... nice.

And so even if a voice at the back of his head warned him that he was teetering unacceptably close to the edge of allowing someone into his life that was best kept at an arms' length, he opted to push it aside and ignore it in favour of making full use of the fleeting moment of contentment. It wasn't guaranteed to last when duties resumed, but until then, he was willing to deviate from his beliefs a little; take a step out of his comfort zone for long enough to enjoy a laugh with the other.

Hell, if something was funny, if something made its way past those barriers he had constructed, was it so bad that he accept and roll with it? It was either that or continue to be harsh and brutal - and at some point, it made him appear like an unforgiving, unchanging bastard.

And that wasn't something he wanted to be at all times in Navi's presence; not when he could see the effect it had on him.

"I don't think I should rest for too long, it ain't fair to stick you with the duty of keeping watch," he attempted to counter, though his tone lost its immediate confidence when a mere cough and slight adjustment of his posture was enough to render him in agony once more, a sharp inhale through grit teeth being the only manner of dealing with said pain he could conjure up. Only once it settled did he turn his head to take in Navi at the open door, his brows furrowed in discontentment that the duty now resided on his shoulders - but what option did he have but to accept it?

"...Fine, just... be on alert. The fucking things out there aren't dumb. They're reckless, sure, but dumb? Nah, some of them can be sly, so... keep your eyes peeled," he advised as he turned back to face the fireplace, his breathing slowing now he had decided, reluctantly, to take Navi's advice and relax, forcing himself to do so despite every fibre of his being warning him that it was the wrong decision.

"Your family really know their stuff about the monsters in the city then, huh? If they're that knowledgeable, Navi, I'm sure they're alright out there, you know. We'll find 'em if so. Or they'll come and find us; find you. I ain't into giving false promise but... I'd bet on 'em being alive if I was a betting man."
 
Once nestled neatly in his seat to offer a proper view of the outside, Navi was fully ready to do something; this was his moment to finally feel accomplished, however mundane the duty really was because comparatively? Compared to the countless hours he spent alone in bed or was shooed out of the way, this felt like... like for the first time in a very long time that Navi finally felt like he was useful.

It wasn't much either, at least on paper. He had to keep watch and if he spots anything, then alert Lukas but there was still that beat in between where their lives were up to him and his decisions. It wasn't much, he knew that it was kind of cheesy and he was sure the sparkle that was in his eye under the flickers of the fireplace's light most likely made Lukas want to roll his eyes but he couldn't hide the thrill of being useful- or the fact he was being given that option to begin with. No, if his family were there they would have forced him in the corner and let his brother and sister deal with the rest. Even if he wasn't the best lookout, what with the one functioning eye, he was still going to be the best fucking lookout he could be.

To hear Lukas only caused Navi to beam all the more as his smile grew in confidence. It was a confidence that had always been dashed at the few meetings he had been invited to. There he felt terrified to speak, terrified to act himself. He had found that, however awkward and off he felt in his human disguise it seemed it earned him more respect than that of his real form. It made his heart well in his chest, a wave of pride washing over him to be able to earn... what, acknowledgement in his existence? To be given some credit for his abilities? To hear another person laugh at his joke rather than laugh at him - it was almost a bit overwhelming as the emotions flooded into him.

He wasn't able to dwell on the fact his cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling long though, not at the mention of his family. With a clearer mind, one that wasn't constantly running towards somewhere, he was able to stop for a moment and really think about what he was doing, where he was. His stomach churned as his brow furrowed together, using the excuse of being on watch to distract him though he knew it would inevitably need to be addressed.

"I know they'll be okay, they're stronger than I am," he agreed, his voice barely above a murmur as he absently fiddled with the handle of his cane. "M-My family - they're fine, t-they've dealt with monsters before. I-I.... I'm glad I'm away from them. Though the b-burden I gave to them has been shifted to you so..."
 
The flicker of guilt that lit in the base of Lukas' chest made a grimace flash across his face before he could compose himself long enough to push it aside. He didn't want to fall into the habit of feeling guilty whenever the other inadvertently reminded him of his harsh words during their initial meeting, if only because guilt meant that he, on some level, had begun to care about Navi and in no way was that ideal. He needed to keep the other at arms' length; maintain and keep preserved the distance that lingered between them - because wasn't that the only way to guarantee their mutual survival?

The other side of the argument was that bonding, forming a connection, would stand them in better stead; that getting to know one another would allow them to fight (if they needed to) as a team, rather than a twosome of disconnected strangers - but fighting as a team, as a collective, had never really... worked. If it had, Lukas' father would still be alive, his sister would still be beside him, his boyfriend wouldn't be buried somewhere out in the vast expanse of the woodlands, dead long before his time.

They had each bought into the 'working as a team' argument, felt it the only way of moving forward successfully, and they were all... dead. Whereas Lukas had shut himself down, kept himself distanced, and had survived the last few years without too much trouble or too many consequences. Didn't that mean his way of doing things was the only right one?

Though no amount of effort to convince himself of that would remove the guilt that continued to burn within him, only heightened when he made the mistake of peering across as the other. He could believe he was a burden whose presence was only going to put them both in danger, especially if it caused care and consideration to be fostered, but he... couldn't deny that he was wholly indifferent towards him; that he would be happy to throw him out into the cold when he was healed and see him defend himself all alone, without anyone to look out for him.

However hard Lukas tried to keep up the walls and hold his feelings at bay, he wasn't... capable of it when in Navi's company, seeing and conversing with him.

And so, even if he might have originally felt otherwise, he couldn't help but to chip in with reassurances.

"You ain't a burden, Navi. Sure, a bigger guy might have been helpful to carry about logs and hunt down stuff for us to eat but-- a bigger guy like that would also be a pain in the ass. A bigger target, someone who would burn through more resources. And yeah, I ain't blind to the fact you've got your difficulties, that you think you're weak or whatever-- but that doesn't mean shit. Mindset is what matters, yeah? You can have all the fuckin' muscles in the world and still come undone if you don't believe you're good enough, y'know? As cheesy as it fucking is, you gotta believe in yourself-- and if you don't do that for yourself, then I will. I reckon you're good enough."

Having talked for longer and in more detail than he ideally wanted to (especially since he was so unused to it and so hearing his own voice communicate aloud for so long felt... strange and weird), he peered back towards the fireplace in silence to think over the content of those words; to evaluate just how... vulnerable that sort of emotional conversation made him.

"...If your family never saw that in you, then fuck them. Families support each other. They don't... make you feel like a burden."
 
Silence followed, formed from shock as the monster in disguise watched from his wooden chair. He scanned the other with his one eye, only looking away when forgetting he was supposed to be on watch and he would rather avoid he scolding he'd undoubtedly receive if he didn't do his duty. Swallowing hard, Navi felt the threat of tears reach his glossy eye - he wouldn't cry in front of Lukas, not when the human gave off the type of vibe that crying was seen as weak. He did not want to seem weak. He wasn't going to give the other a reason to go back on his statement after all, so he swallowed down his emotions bar the meek smile on his lips.

"That means a-a lot, Lukas. Thank you." He replied, his voice still hushed as to avoid it cracking and exposing just how emotional the whole thing made him feel. It was true that his family loved and cared about him and had never meant to make him feel the way he did but they still did, the prince's low confidence coming in the form of things unsaid rather than flat-out insults or scolding. He would have preferred that, he thinks - that he could throw it back in his family's face, point to specific moments that dug into his heart, but nothing seemed proper on paper. Adjusting himself a bit in the wooden chair, he offered a firm nod for emphasis when he forced back the urge to offer a hug.

He probably thinks hugs are weak.

"L-Let's just say our relationship is... is complicated," he decided after clearing his throat of that residual build-up of phlegm he noticed whenever he was on the verge of crying. Never had he met someone he wanted to impress more than some random human - a fact he was sure would disgust his mother - yet here he was, watching as Lukas adjusted himself in on the couch as a weird feeling squirmed in his stomach. Was it friendship? He had never experienced a sense of genuine friendship before, the friends he made always felt forced upon him by his family so to finally meet someone and create a relationship on his own without the influence of his family felt weird.

"... I imagine you a-aren't the type to talk about things like f-family and stuff, that's okay. I-I like your voice though, Lukas." He offered with a stronger smile.
 
The response his reassurances had garnered wasn't lost on Lukas - he just did a decent job at pretending otherwise. Not only did he want to avoid building a further connection with Navi by paying attention to the gratitude, but he also didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by peering over at his teary eyes and making it obvious that he had picked up the crack in his tone. Granted, he knew on a deeper level that wanting to spare Navi that sort of thing meant he had already begun to form a connection with him, further evidenced by the desperation he had felt to reassure him in the first place, but desperately, he sought to ignore the obviousness of it and continue to pretend that they were little more than two men grouped together in difficult circumstances.

He couldn't maintain that delusion for too much longer, a fact he was also desperate to ignore, but for now, he was going to pretend he could.

It was why he opted to ignore the mention of his family for as long as he could, though the pressure of the silence that followed made it difficult to. Without the growing care for Navi having begun to form and foster, he would have been quite happy to rest back and let the silence wash over him without trouble-- but now? Now he found himself squirming at what was left so obviously unsaid, especially when talking of his family, opening up about everything that had been bottled up within him for so long, felt... like it could be good; like it could be, on some level, cathartic and healthy.

It countered all the beliefs he had held close for years, that it was best to bottle up these things, but he had been alone all that time without the option to open up. Now he had that option available, was it really so wrong to take advantage of it? Was it wrong to open up to someone who had been so open with him? He knew he might come to regret such moments of vulnerability but, after Navi's moment of sharing, he felt almost guilty for withholding information in return. It wasn't a feeling he was accustomed to after years of solitude and so dealing with it sufficiently just wasn't... something he felt capable of.

Which left opening up, exposing some vulnerability and his greatest pain, as the only real option left to him.

"...My family's gone. Dead. Been on my own for years now, since I was a kid. Since I was 15 or something. Monsters got 'em all," he eventually managed to mumble, each word feeling like it took an eternity to whisper out. He didn't feel like he could delve into the details of those deaths and the circumstances -and consequences- surrounding them but he didn't need to for the confession itself to release a weight from his chest, a long exhale sounding as he fell further back against the couch in relief, and pride, that he had managed to utter the words in the first place.

"It sucks, y'know? But that's the reality we go through, dealing with them things out there. We lose the ones we love. It's... harsh but that's the way it is sometimes. All I can do now is fight on, y'know? My Dad didn't fucking sacrifice himself for me to just... give up on myself. It'd be fucking selfish if I did," he laughed, opting to mask some of his pain with humour. He hesitated a further moment before turning his head to take Navi in again, unable to offer a smile in reassurance but at least managing to push the pain from his expression before their eyes could meet. "It's alright; I'm alright. I guess it ain't exactly a revelation to 'ya either; you're smart, y'know. You probably put two and two together and figured I was... alone out here; that I lost my folks and everyone else. I just... haven't said it aloud to anyone before; never had the chance to either. You're-- the first person I've come across since my sister and my-- my friend were-- killed."
 
Navi had managed to hold it together for the most part after the praise and reassurance he had heard from the other but he couldn't hold back his tears at Lukas' confession, the monster's face twisting a bit in confusion as he tried to hold a stoic face; try to mimic his new companion's cool demeanor. Unfortunately it was a struggle as the sound of a sniffle could be heard, but Navi quickly wiped his face of any tears before they could be dwelled upon.

"I-I'm so sorry…" he replied after a moment, hiding his face with his hands as guilt set in hard. Sure, his family most likely wasn't responsible for the death of the human's loved ones as humans aren't typically torn to shreds before being eaten but there was still a resounding guilt that, in perhaps under different circumstances, he would be the exact same creatures that left Lukas so despondent and closed off. He might have caused the other his pain, rather than being sat beside him trying to help. That guilt, mixed with the exhaustion he was afraid to admit he still was experiencing, led to Navi's silent sobs that were hidden by his hands.

I'm so, so sorry t-that you had to go through that, Lukas," he continued, his tone wavering and wobbling - though his form stayed intact, a fact that would impress another monster if they were in the room. After wiping his face quickly with his hands he offered a sympathetic smile, his one eye rimmed red from crying, "but it's okay now. I-I know you say it's okay but… but I'm really honored t-that you told me that - gosh, I-I'm sorry," he laughed, breathy and shallow.

"Y-You may have been alone but, while I'm here w-with you, you won't be. Neither will I, right? Geez, it sounds so… so corny, huh?"
 
"Are you-- crying?" He blurted suddenly in response to the initial sounds of sniffling and muffled sobs, his curiosity eventually getting the better of him and resulting in him initiating eye contact once again-- or would have done had Navi's face not been buried emotionally within his own hands. The sight of him in that way, experiencing an outburst of emotion in response to the news of Lukas' family, wasn't necessarily off-putting - sure, it made Lukas a tad uncomfortable given how emotionally detached he had been for years, but he felt more concerned than anything else.

After all, in his eyes, the response was linked to trauma Navi had gone through, talk of Lukas' family having died potentially bringing up difficult memories for Navi of things he might have witnessed out in the wilderness when distanced from his own family - or, just as possible, when he was still with them. He didn't for one second imagine that the outpouring was a result of intense guilt because-- well, how could he?

No, he just saw Navi as an understandably scared, anxious and emotionally strained man who needed, above anything else, the support that company -and a reassuring presence- could provide him. Lukas didn't necessarily envision himself fulfilling that role when their paths crossed the previous day but he would be lying if he said a small part of him didn't also yearn for that; for... company; for someone to share his life with, platonically or otherwise--

He turned away the moment the thought of Navi forming a more romantic presence in his life fluttered through his mind. It wasn't a thought he wanted to lean into or even envision again whatsoever, biting his cheek hard in order to refocus and centre himself with the stab of pain; to keep his attention on that and not the prospect of bonding with Navi in a way he had only just considered as a possibility; as something... he might not hate too much.

But it was a thought he would pin on tiredness, emotional exhaustion and naivety, rather than a genuine seed of potential that could grow and bloom with the right sort of attention and an acceptance of the affection starting to be fostered between the two.

"You don't gotta... be ashamed of that, y'know. Crying. It ain't weakness. I know I preach about being weak and all that shit, but crying's not... I'd never fuckin' think you weak for that, pal. It's natural; it's a good thing. Not that I-- y'know, I don't really... cry these days. I bottle shit up, keep it inside. That ain't healthy but-- s'what I've taught myself to do, so..." He shrugged absently, as though admitting his unhealthy habits aloud wasn't a cause of concern. In his eyes, he could acknowledge the unhealthiness of it without seeking to change it up, even if it somewhat contradicted his open acceptance -and support- that Navi cry if he needed to; that it was best for him to do so rather than do what Lukas did and keep it all inside.

"An' yeah, you're right. It's really cheesy-- doesn't make it untrue though. I guess we're... not alone for now. That's... it's... I guess it isn't too bad," he eventually settled on saying, his brows knitted together in momentary surprise that the words (not overflowing with delight but also remarkably positive for him) had even left his lips. They undid years of the beliefs he had forced himself to adopt and adhere to and the fact all that work was brushed aside in mere seconds, and that he didn't feel too bad about it, caused the daze he, in his surprise, found himself in. "I, uh... yeah. I'm not-- you know, used to being with someone. Sharing my space. It's... been a long time since I talked to anyone, Navi. Since my, uh... my sister and-- and my, uh... my-- my boyfriend, since they-- were killed."
 
"I'm not crying…" Navi tried to deny, but the petulant tone of his voice and the tears he had to actively wipe away were proof of otherwise as he tried to stop his sniffling. How could he stop though? How could he stop thinking about the reality that he was a monster?

The term never felt like a bad word amongst his kind; monsters, creatures, beasts, they all were neutral terms to describe his kind but in that moment, in the calm of the early morning as the fire crackled on, Navi began to understand the weight the word monster held. Perhaps Lukas would win in a fight against him now but he could still tear him to shreds with his razor sharp teeth and, perhaps in another life, do even more; perhaps he would be like his brother and sister, two wonderful hunters and leaders to an empire his mother sought to expand. Maybe in another life he would have been the monster that tore Lukas' sister and-

Face contorted in pain hidden behind his hands, his face grew blank as his single eye peered through spread fingers, leaving Navi speechless for a moment… followed by a flushing of cheeks before once again covering his face, now though out of embarrassment when he felt the heat rise in his cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he managed to croak once more while scanning the human, taken aback by the idea of Lukas having a boyfriend. Sure, no one is born into this world alone but he had simply seen as the other always being a lone wolf type. It had been years now but he couldn't imagine seeing the other enjoying some warm food with his sister or his boyfriend, doing the things he always imagined human couples would do; making food together, cuddling, loving. He was jealous of humans in a few ways, one of which being their affinity for love and affection.

His mother rarely mentioned his and his siblings' father and when she did it was never with the kindest words, lacking in any sense of affection or charm. His mother would speak about their power and how many others of their kind would want to reproduce but love was never a necessity. Navi doubted he would ever have children, not when he had heard others say they would 'probably end up like a mess too', which left him time to ruminate on the concepts that were about more than just continuing on a lineage.

No, he could have his moments of yearning; of craving an intimate moment, enjoying each other's embrace. To learn that Lukas had that, however briefly, admittedly made him jealous followed by once again thaf guilt, though he wasn't quite yet ready to return to that spiral of thinking yet.

"… you don't have to bottle things up, if… if you d-don't want to. I'll listen, I'm a g-good listener," he offered, even if his words were muffled by the hands that covered all but his eye as he watched Lukas closely, occasionally sniffling all the while.
 
"...I've probably already said too much for one day, I reckon. Not that it's-- not nice to-- talk, I see the merits in it. It's just, y'know... you need to keep watch, I'm just distracting 'ya," he countered after a good few seconds of silence, the urge he felt to take Navi up on the offer and finally have someone to release all the pent-up thoughts and unworked through emotions onto being strong - but he caught himself before he fell to that temptation.

He wasn't about to a solid 180 and reverse the breakthrough he had made in understanding that it wasn't necessarily weak of him to pretend he didn't have the emotions and the feelings he did, and he certainly wasn't prepared to hypocritically refuse to discuss his past while encouraging Navi to share his own, but already discussing the countless deaths he had endured in his young life was... a lot for one day after years upon years of keeping it all to himself. He surprised himself with the genuine eagerness he felt to share it with Navi, in the belief that he could actively trust someone who was so open with how they themselves felt, but doing so now, when he had already said far more than he ever thought he was possible of, didn't... seem like the best time.

No, he reasoned that he could wait awhile before another confession, perhaps when he had worked past the emotions that had risen as a result of his newfound openness. Understanding that his beliefs had been misplaced and working through the fallout of that, pushing aside his reluctances and reaching the conclusion that sharing his feelings with Navi wasn't a weakness but a potential strength, seemed more valuable in the long run than rushing into spilling every detail before he had set himself up with the stability to do so.

"Another day, yeah?" He encouraged, eager to ensure Navi understood that he wasn't shutting down and holding him away as he had during their initial meeting. He wanted the other to know that the door was open and wouldn't shut again; that holding a conversation about their pasts, working through their shared emotions, was something he surprisingly wasn't objecting to.

But confessing too much too soon was only going to be a detriment to his own state of mind.

"It ain't that interesting anyway, I promise 'ya. You ain't gotta wait on tenterhooks or anything. It's been pretty boring, my past - incidents with monsters aside. I'm not that interesting a guy, Navi," he continued with the same encouraging tone, the tonal shift of humorousness purposeful to brush away the heaviness that lingered from their prior comments. Shifting a pillow beneath his arm for support, he opted to rest his head against the back of the couch and allowed his eyes to shut; the clearest sign there could be that he trusted in Navi to keep watch without his own observations.

"We need to go out an' catch something for dinner later, I can't let you do that shit on your own. But you can-- come, if you want. Help me out a bit. I'm hoping there'll be a hare or two out there for us-- if not, it's that soup again an' you don't have to lie to me. It's bland as fuck, right?"
 
"I think you're pretty interesting," the monster protested quietly from his seat while he rubbed his face and then his hair after tossing his cap to the side, exposing the niorette's messy short mop. He pushed his hair back from his face to try and subtly wipe away the lingering tears, only for his hair to once again fall to his face.

Hair had always been something he found weird about humans. He knew it kept them warm, like fur in a way, but the fact that it grew in some places but not others? He lingered on his hair for a moment, wondering if he had gotten the texture right and what Lukas' hair must feel like. He couldn't even make a second functioning eye after all, what if he couldn't get human hair right? He knew he was the best at his human disguise compared to the others but still, there was that anxiety... and that looming self-loathing.

No. No, he had to stay and watch and protect this new home, even if he knew he would have to leave eventually. But for now, in Navi's eyes, the little cabin was his home, however small or barren it was. The finally looked away from the human, however much he wanted to take in the other's form. He wanted to understand the humans, if he were to essentially become one while he was living with Lukas... not to mention he was curious as to what lies his mother had told; what things had been said that were true and what were wrong about the human race as he watched his mother with a sparkly eye. He had been told they were lesser beings meant for his desire and consumption but that was when all he knew about them were the fact that they were held in pens and massacred in the courtyard. No, Lukas wasn't some pig ready for the slaughter. He was... he was a person, his heart pounding hard as he contemplated that fact.

"You can relax, s-sorry that I got distracted. It's just - I... I h-haven't had anyone to talk to either, o-or at least no one listened to me. You ought to rest, y-you deserve it. Then... I'll try going out, maybe."
 
"You think I'm interesting? I think you're a liar, Navi," he snorted, the expression of humour still sounding alien to his ear when so much time had passed since he allowed himself to a) find something funny and b) express it aloud but he had quickly realised that he was better off easing himself into relaxing those philosophies; better off accepting that he wasn't capable of remaining so detached from the most natural of feelings.

He wasn't aware that playfully quipping that Navi was a liar was uncomfortably close to the truth. If he had any inkling that Navi was genuinely a liar, and had a suspicion that he wasn't who he was pretending to be, then throwing him out into the cold without hesitation would be the only course of action he could, for the sake of his life, make. Even if he had quietly grown to see Navi as a potential... friend, someone he could team up with for a long-term basis, how could he accept him being a monster and, even if Navi didn't have malevolent intentions, choosing to withhold that information and masquerade as a human; a victim of the world the monsters had taken over?

For now, at least, none of those questions needed addressing when Lukas remained oblivious to the lies -or rather, what was left unspoken and unsaid- at play, his quip playful and bathed in that unsuspiciousness.

"Well, you're either a liar or a flatterer," he continued with a faint smile to himself, still surprising himself by the fact that he was holding a conversation, let alone one lacking confrontation, roughness and sternness. It was... easy; it flowed without awkwardness or interruption, and he would be the liar if he claimed he hadn't deeply missed and longed for human interaction (even if this wasn't human interaction, how was he to know that?)

"Either way, you're too... nice to me. You can call me out on shit, you know? If I'm a boring fuck, tell me. I've not been around people for-- years now. Doesn't mean that excuses me being a fucking bore, so... yeah, don't be polite. I like a bit of bluntness; for people to say what they mean. To be honest. I'm not gonna lose my temper at you, like, telling me I'm a grumpy bastard or anything. God knows it's been true for a long ass time." Lukas eventually added when his inner contemplations were cut short, shooting a glance back at the monster to emphasise his seriousness. "Friends can call each other out-- I mean, not that we're-- nah, fuck that, I guess we are friends, yeah? We may as well be at this point, stuck in this cabin together, fighting off threats outside it. Benefits us both if we're friends rather than enemies, doesn't it?"
 
"It's true! I think you're really interesting! I-I mean, you… you've managed to survive out here, found… found a home and, y'know, you - know what you're doing. T-Thats interesting!" Navi quickly reassured with flustered hands, his long fingers pressed together firmly as he raised his palms. His cheeks were beetroot and, even if it was for the briefest of moments, he held his breath. Had he been found out? Had his disguise slipped? That was the only real skill he had, was he bad at that now too? Navi's heart pounded loud in his ears.

No, this couldn't be the end of such a happy situation, right? His fever had finally begun to vanish and he was safe in a home with someone who seemed to actually want to be in the same room as him, not out of obligation like it often felt with the monsters his mother worked with. There was no reason for Lukas to lure him into a false sense of safety only to yank him out of it, right?

That's something a monster would do.

The sound of the faintest chuckle from Lukas' lips was all he needed to snap out of his turmoil. His crinkled button up's collar hid the blush that rushed down his neck though his ears were only partially hidden by his messy locks, the one-eyed boy's gray orb growing wide in surprise. He looked to the window to hide the sheepish smile that threatened to grow - he had never witnessed someone other than his family be so… happy around him before. It wasn't the sort of glee one might expect in more normal times but for living in a timeline where you, formerly an apex predator, was now prey to monsters it was clear Navi brought him some happiness, and that thought made Navi happy, so much so that he had to force back a giggle of glee and instead covered his mouth to hide the awkward smile.

"I-I… I'm not flattering you - I mean, not completely? Gosh - that s-sounds bad. Um… you're grumpy, yeah, b-but you do it for a reason so it's okay. I'd be g… grumpy too if I was in your shape," he reassured, havinf managed to force down a grin… though he couldn't control the one on his face when hearing the word 'friend' said openly.

If he was spiraling into self-don't and depression sure, this was like a flip had switch; Navi wanted to scream, run around the room in glee and pull Lukas into the tightest hug he could offer. He stayed put, on the wooden chair most likely created long before either of them were born, with a lopsided grin he couldn't erase no matter how hard he tried.

"W-We're definitely not enemies, I-I wouldn't want to be in your bad b-books," teased the imposter before nestling a bit into his sweater vest for warmth when he felt chills reach him.
 
Building any sort of bond or feeding into a connection with Navi had initially been seen as an unviable option; something he couldn't allow himself to do when the pain that losing all his other friends, all those family members, had been the hardest thing to try to overcome - and arguably, he hadn't actively overcome it yet when all those feelings had simply been bottled up, rather than openly expressed and worked through. Regardless, he had been dead-set against opening himself up to further hurt - if he remained detached from Navi, he would spare himself the weight of grief that would fall onto him were the other ever to... die at a monster's hand.

And yet, he had also been quick to almost entirely abandon those long-standing beliefs the second he realised that there was a basis for a friendship between him and Navi; that existing coldly within the same space was unnecessary when they could instead be holding healthy conversations and laughing in one another's company. Did he feel a sliver of guilt for uprooting the beliefs that he had always thought kept him alive for so many years? Sure, that was only natural - but he was quietly determined to prove himself wrong; prove that he could simultaneously build a bond and keep himself -and Navi- alive in the process.

He wasn't some kid anymore, incapable of adequately protecting those he loved. He was a man, hardened by the elements (and the circumstances of the modern age) enough to have seen off threatening monsters without sustaining any major life-threatening injuries.

No, this was... different; this time around, he could entertain being a friend and a companion and continue to fight off the monsters that threatened his peaceful existence-- or their peaceful existence. It was strange to go from singular to plural and be content with that major change, but Lukas wasn't going to pretend that a smile didn't rise to his lips as he acknowledged the collective he and Navi had suddenly become.

"...Hey, grab yourself one of my sweaters, just over by my bed -the fucking bundle of blankets on the floor is hardly a bed but y'know- if you need another layer of warmth," he offered suddenly, not needing to lift his head and glance up to assume that the other was feeling the chill, even if it had yet to reach the middle of the afternoon. The breeze entering in through the partially opened door was enough for Lukas to shift under the blanket he had settled beneath - and if he was feeling it from his position on the couch, besides the fireplace, then it didn't really take a genius to assume that Navi felt it too.

Offering him his sweater seemed like the right thing to do, and he was eager to convince himself that that was all it was - the right thing under the circumstances and not a move entirely reliant on how fond he was growing of him. He might have reached an acceptance that they were friends, but admitting that Navi was cute was... another thing entirely.

"It'll swamp you 'cos you're pretty small -or I'm just a fuckin' giant, I don't know- but it'll keep you warm while you keep watch for us. No point in you making yourself ill and catching a cold or something."
 
It was not physically possible for, in any form, Navi to get any redder than he was in that moment.

Here he sat across the man who made it awfully clear without saying it that he would toss the monster out in the snow if he needed to at any moment; that their sharing of space was solely due to circumstances and momentary kindness on the part of Lukas... but someone meant to simply share space wouldn't offer him a sweater, right? It was such a simple act of kindness but an act of kindness nonetheless, an act of kindness he almost didn't feel like he deserved. He was a hinderance to the human after all, not to mention he was the reason the other's family and lover were dead (however indirectly he was involved).

Offering a sweater might not have meant much to the average person, but to Navi? To someone who had rarely interacted with anyone, including his family, it meant the world - in addition to the fact it was rare to find proper solid clothes. He didn't need clothes in his real form given he didn't really have a defined shape but he still enjoyed it; he could push past the discomfort of appearing human for the warmth and softness that came in the form of clothes. To have this simple sweater, whether to keep or simply to borrow, made Navi almost pass out in glee - but he kept those emotions to himself, instead offering a quick nod as he pushed himself from the aged chair towards the pile of sweaters. He let his fingers linger on the fabric, detailing each bump or missed stitch with curiosity and a hungry eye, before settling on a simple black and brown striped sweater.

He set his cane very carefully against the makeshift bed and stabled himself before tugging the sweater over his head. He struggled a bit, the neck being surprisingly tight for it's age, but once his face reemerged he immediately took a liking to it. Sure, it was a bit long and if it weren't for it's tight collar he imagined he would seem swimming in the fabric but he didn't care much. No, it was perfect. He was so excited that a soft squeal managed to escape as Navi immediately felt the new warmth granted to him. With his fingers just peeking through the edges of the sleeve, he offered to do a small twirl to show off the new sweater once he was able to hold onto his cane once again.

"It's perfect." He admitted only once returning to the chair and the subsequent chill that accompanied it. It still rattled his bones but now there was at least a proper layer of protection other than his coat and gear, not to mention he genuinely felt good in the clothes. His eyes moved from his chest, to the door, then to Lukas with rosy cheeks. "Really, it is. T-Thank you, Lukas."
 
Eventually lifting his head to catch a glance at the other once the gratitude towards him was offered, any effort Lukas might have otherwise made to flatten a smile in the past was now, ultimately, ignored in favour of simply... expressing himself. It was still odd to find himself content in opening up and allowing vulnerability to seep back into his life, especially when contrasted to just how hard-headed he had been not even a full day prior, but how quickly he had dropped those initial barriers was more or less a testament to how unnatural their presence had been in the first place.

He was someone who clearly favoured company, someone who probably needed it to derive any real happiness or joy in his life; to feel... comfortable. Years of denying that most obvious of facts had -he reasoned- done him more harm than good, which was partially why he was so open to accepting in Navi's friendship - to right the wrong he had forced himself to believe in for so long.

He had never been the most expressive, upbeat of people anyway, but he also hadn't ever been as closed or withdrawn as he had initially presented himself as to Navi. No, the very worst of those attributes could, at long last, start to drop and fall away completely in favour of a more content, enriched existence.

And though he wasn't about to thank Navi in gushing tones for providing him with that revelation, he was going to open himself up for the friendship without trying to deny its steady, gradual growth.

As such, the smile that pulled at his lips wasn't dented by any hidden effort to deny it. It was natural and unrestricted, reaching the eyes that quietly observed the sheer joy written all across Navi's face.

"It suits 'ya," he offered with a confirming nod, allowing himself a further few seconds to take the sight in before having to force himself to look away, lest his own cheeks burn the same bright red that he would have been a fool not to observe in Navi's. Clearing his throat -more out of a strange awkwardness than anything else-, he returned to resting his head back and allowed his eyes to shut once more, even if his mind continued to race, contrary thoughts battling within it for domination.

On one hand, the thoughts of how cute Navi looked wanted to remain front and present in his mind - though on the other, Lukas wanted to brush them aside, uneasy with even contemplating his budding attraction let alone allow any thoughts to sit in his head and allow it to bloom and blossom further. A friendship was one thing he was willing to open himself up to but a romance? That... was another thing entirely.

"You don't have to thank me-- you're keeping watch for me; I'm helping you keep warm. It's team work, right? We're both-- looking out for each other."
 
"Well, I-I know for a fact that clothes - clothes are h-hard to find, so... gosh, I sound like a - " Navi hesitated, a beat longer than normal. He had never sworn before. His brother swore plenty during practice and he had heard his mother swear when he would listen in to his mother's meetings but otherwise he had never said a single foul word and that thought gave him a strange sense of anxiety, as if uttering one would cause his family to emerge out of nowhere and storm his new little home.

No, he was nowhere near home and his family would never see him again, not alive at least, so.... fuck it.

"I s-sound like a-an asskiss," Navi continued, his stutter clearly worse as he stammered out the words with caution. When nothing seemed to happen, the monster let his worried frown fade to a smile. He was still not physically able to do a lot of things but no longer did he have someone to keep him from trying, and as stressful as it was to stand watch for monsters to make lunch out of them both Navi felt... free, it a way. He chose not to bring notice though, instead shrugging his shoulders as he absently fiddled with the edge of the fabric and took in the texture.

"Anyway, I mean... I-I mean that clothes are hard, they're hard to f-find and you're giving t-them to me s-so... I wish I could give you something," he admitted apologetically.

Navi let silence follow for a moment, the only sound being the wind as it blew through the crack in the cabin or the occasional light rustle of the wildlife that was brave enough to venture near it, not finding the silence awkward. He wasn't a big talker and neither was Lukas but it seemed they both were willing to make exceptions for one another as Navi eventually cleared his throat and looked around the entirety of the cabin briefly. His eye landed on Lukas of course, how couldn't it? But he quickly looked away shyly, fearful that their eyes would somehow meet with a strange sense of anxiety.

On one hand he wanted to keep talking; ask about living out in the woods, training, anything... but Lukas was hurt and he figured he was keeping the other from well-needed rest. He bit his lip hard to keep the urge from pestering the human any further, something that felt comforting but strange to do in a human body nonetheless.
 
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