Corrupt a Wish

  • Thread starter IntrusivePenDesperateSword
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Granted. But everytime you try to get something from it, it sings the most annoying songs.

I wish my brain would stop saying that i can't do anything creative and just freaking do it!
 
Granted. Your internal monologue has been exchanged for Shia Labeouf yelling "Just do it" over and over, constantly.

I wish for the ability to always know the answer to a question when it is asked and I can hear it, only to forget the answer after answering, unless I already knew the answer.
 
Granted. The time between your revelation of the answer after the question is asked and the moment you share the answer is enough time to be considered 'already knowing' the answer. You then begin to fill up on all of the knowledge from every question asked of you and go insane.

I wish for more wishes.
 
Granted. You get 0.0001 more wishes. Unfortunately, this is tricky to use in practice, and even if you manage to make a wish, it'll be really underwhelming.

I wish for a random object that will in no manner or form cause harm to any life form capable of detecting tissue damage, unless under my unaltered, conscious command.
 
Granted. You are given a chimera that is under your command, therefore it will cause harm to any life form capable of detecting tissue damage. At the first moment it does not have an active task it roasts you to a crisp with it's firey breath.

I wish with my 1.0001 wishes for a giant loon.
 
Nitpicker IPDS to the rescue!

rechonq said:
it will cause harm to any life form capable of detecting tissue damage. At the first moment it does not have an active task it roasts you to a crisp with it's firey breath.
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IntrusivePenDesperateSword said:
will in no manner or form cause harm to any life form capable of detecting tissue damage
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But ok.

rechonq said:
I wish with my 1.0001 wishes for a giant loon.
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Actually, as you started out with one wish, then used that to get 0.0001 more, 0.0001 wishes is all you have.

Granted. You get a very small loon.
 
IntrusivePenDesperateSword said:
a random object that will in no manner or form cause harm to any life form capable of detecting tissue damage, unless under my unaltered, conscious command.
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rechonq said:
a chimera that is under your command, therefore it will cause harm to any life form capable of detecting tissue damage. At the first moment it does not have an active task it roasts you to a crisp with it's firey breath.
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I'm going to break this down.

a random object = a chimera

Will not cause harm to 'X' Unless under you command/ It's under your command. (Unless 'under command' meant that it couldn't do anything, but what you told it to do, then it would die after you forget to tell it to breathe or to pump blood to it's brain or any number of innate things necessary to live.)

'X' = life form capable of detecting tissue damage. The act of detecting tissue damage manifests itself in the form of pain. Therefore it is still allowed to attack plants even when not under your command. (Although some studies may show even plants can detect pain.)

Now everyone knows that chimeras love to burn things to a crisp and the moment it is not actively engaged in a command it will act of an innate nature and burn you to a crisp.

Since there are no more wishes to be granted I'm going to go dance with my small loon. =))
 
rechonq said:
I'm going to break this down.

a random object = a chimera

Will not cause harm to 'X' Unless under you command/ It's under your command. (Unless 'under command' meant that it couldn't do anything, but what you told it to do, then it would die after you forget to tell it to breathe or to pump blood to it's brain or any number of innate things necessary to live.)

'X' = life form capable of detecting tissue damage. The act of detecting tissue damage manifests itself in the form of pain. Therefore it is still allowed to attack plants even when not under your command. (Although some studies may show even plants can detect pain.)

Now everyone knows that chimeras love to burn things to a crisp and the moment it is not actively engaged in a command it will act of an innate nature and burn you to a crisp.

Since there are no more wishes to be granted I'm going to go dance with my small loon. =))
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Oh. Yeah ok. Perhaps I should have reformulated. I intended to say something akin to not hurt X "unless it is my command to do so." But anyways.

I wish for rechonq's loon to shrink until it is the size of an atom.
 
rechonq said:
Therefore it is still allowed to attack plants even when not under your command. (Although some studies may show even plants can detect pain.)
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But that too would cause harm, albeit in a roundabout way. For each plant that is burned to a crisp, a herbivore has less to eat. If a large amount of plants are burned, then this would cause starvation and even death amonst herbivores, which in turn affects carnivores too. Not to mention the monetary damage if the chimera attacks a farmer's crop, which is also a form of harm to him :P.
 
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IntrusivePenDesperateSword said:
I wish for rechonq's loon to shrink until it is the size of an atom.
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Wish granted. Rechonq's loon shrink until it is the size of an atom. Sadly, we also managed to shrink the entire world to the size of a quark, which ironically undoes the previous wish of the small loon, making it a giant loon in a small world. Well, sorry.

I wish for a natural beard that is a normal color, doesn't suffocate me or is extremely itchy and only covers my face and not sentient and also no laws that prevent me from having one.
 
Granted. Let me see if I read this right... You want a beard that is either a normal color, doesn't suffocate you OR (rather than 'nor' or 'and is not') is extremely itchy, right (plus a handful of other things)? Meaning the beard in question has to follow at least one of those rules. Okay, sure, I can give you that last one; you now have a beard that is extremely itchy. And since you said 'or' rather than 'and is not', granting the last one means I can't grant the first ones; as such, the beard given to you is neon pink/orange and slowly suffocates you. In accordance with the second part of the wish, the beard covers only your face (and also your entire face), is not sentient and there are no laws against having a beard. However, Shikism is now the local state religion, and per extension there are laws against removing the beard.


I wish that I wasn't such a grammar nazi :P.
 
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Granted, you are now the least grammatically correct person at any given time.

I wish for my current greatest desire to be granted exactly as the way it plays out in my mind and to be caused by the exact same circumstances.
 
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Granted. You have been issued the greatest lawyer in the world to write out your greatest desire just as you see it. You now have everything planned out but no more wishes to fulfill it.

I wish for a wise cracking monkey sidekick
 
Granted. You now have a loyal monkey sidekick that is incredibly loud-mouthed and otherwise generally annoying, and that is enchanted with an eerie magic that makes the wisdom of nearby people, namely you, crumble, making them mmore foolish.

I wish for the ability to speak chinese, german and spanish fluently, without affecting my other learned languages, nor anything else in my or anyone else's knowledge.
 
Granted. According to the second part of your wish, you gaining these new languges may not affect anything in your or anyone else's knowledge, correct? This would include other human beings. Well, suffice to say that you suddenly gaining three new languages, one of which is very exotic, would have some kind of effect on others if they were to learn of this. Therefore, the only way to fulfill this last condition is to make sure that others never learn of it, meaning that your wish will only work from your point of view; others will still hear/see gibberish.

I wish for Mickey Mouse to become President of the United States.
 
Granted. One of the current candidates, dressed in a Mickey Mouse suit, has just won the election. What? You wanted a real Mickey Mouse? Okay. A House Mouse named Mickey just took over office and has begun importing vast amounts of Swiss cheese.

I wish to get a billion, legally obtained, U.S. dollars.
 
Granted but you also gain a crippling gambling addiction.


I wish I could move house easier.
 
InKouah said:
A House Mouse named Mickey just took over office and has begun importing vast amounts of Swiss cheese.
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Eh, it's better than the choices America has now :P


Also, granted; you now have the ability to easily move monopoly houses across your streets without having to go through all of the steps of selling and rebuying them in a monopoly game.

I wish to be the very best, like noone ever was.
 
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Neobullseye said:
Eh, it's better than the choices America has now :P


Also, granted; you now have the ability to easily move monopoly houses across your streets without having to go through all of the steps of selling and rebuying them in a monopoly game.

I wish to be the very best, like noone ever was.
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Granted, you are now the very best finger tapper their ever was.

I wished be the prettiest girl at the ball
 
Granted. You are invited to a grand and prestigious ball in another dimension consisting only of a kind of creature looking remarkably like zombies in modern fiction, yet they all insist they're still wholly alive. Compared to them by our standards, you are without doubt the prettiest, but they disagree. Also you have no way of returning once the ball is over, and must wander their dusty and unfriendly civilization forever.

I wish for the ability to be able to come up with a character perfect for any setting, the moment I am requested to do so.
 
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