Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but it's granted by the Devil.

I wish for wings.
 
Granted. They are tiny mosquito wings, which basically do nothing for you and serve only a trivial nuisance until you pluck them out, from the back of your hand.

I wish for a lifetime's supply of coffee
 
Granted. Permanent insomnia.

I wish for a lotus fower.
 
Granted, but nothing seems to happen because you've already got a bunch of lotus flowers in your avatar.

I wish for graet justis.
 
granted. you have no chance to survive, make your time

i wish to be a meme
 
Granted. It's about having no waifus.

I wish for a brand new hat.
 
Granted. It's adorned with several blooming flowers, which produce a lovely scent... for bees, wasps and other insects, who are drawn to it en masse.

I wish to be able to grant my own wishes exactly how I wish to grant them, without being forced to corrupt them.
 
Granted. But it makes you a twisted individual and you waste it on an Xbone.

I wish for a fedora.
 
Granted. However, you lose it while being chased down a corridor by a giant rolling marble sphere. You could try to retrieve it, but...

I wish for a fish to go squish.
 
granted. it dies.

i wish for fried fish for lunch.
 
Granted. It's puffer fish.

I wish for the perfect taco.
 
Granted. It's absolutely perfect -- in the mind of a mad scientist, who thought it was a good idea to create a self-replicating mutant taco that emits poisonous fumes.

I wish for all the Tacos of Doom to disappear, along with the mad scientist who made them.
 
Granted. It's absolutely perfect -- in the mind of a mad scientist, who thought it was a good idea to create a self-replicating mutant taco that emits poisonous fumes.

I wish for all the Tacos of Doom to disappear, along with the mad scientist who made them.
Granted, however you are the scientist.

I wish all the moderators and admins wanted my autograph.
 
Granted, however you are the scientist.

I wish all the moderators and admins wanted my autograph.
Granted, but they stop praising the sun.

I wish for a facehugger, sun bro, ferret hybrid.
 
Granted. It is stuck in your head forever, in a loop that will never end, even when you want it to stop. It plays while you're awake. It plays while you're asleep.

I wish for a cool hat.
 
Granted. It has a temperature of 6°C, making it very cool indeed. Also, you can't take it off.

I wish to be able to fly any distance, at whatever speed and altitude I want, along with the required secondary power to land properly.
 
granted, too bad you didnt ask for the secondary power to ignore air friction....

i wish i had all the secondary powers
 
GRANTED! You now a bat with nothing.

I wish for batman. And no, not that Batman!
 
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