Corrupt-A-Wish Thread

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You type faster, but your words are incoherent

I wish for a plasma rifle with infinite ammo.
 
Your wish is granted. You have your dream plasma rifle it is prized by a nearly endless parade of mercenaries who want it. You spend your entire life either on the run or fighting.

I wish my dog would freak out less?
 
That's actually not all bad, considering I could kill off the majority with my awesome much more futuristic weapon. I also don't mind starting my life over with a mighty weapon. :D

Anyways though, Your dog freaks out less: As a result, it no longer gets surprised at most anything, including intruders to your home, allowing you to be murdered by a psychopath, while your dog takes the calm, rational approach of escaping in an orderly fashion.

I wish I had a jetpack.
 
Granted, but as you start it up, the exhausting exiting out the jetpack's propulsion device sears the very flesh from back and legs, the intense pain of it sending you into shock that would most likely kill you, make you the world's most aerially mobile corpse.

I wish I didn't have the Lurker Status on my Profile anymore!
 
Granted, but you get bad because of it.

I wish I had a robot.
 
You get a robot, but it eventually murders you and takes over your life, and it'll seem like you never left at all.

I wish for a Rainbow Dash.
 
A large chunk of the world community would already be on your case just for uttering the desire to own a MLP.

I wish for a natural 20 on my next roll.
 
Granted, but you fail every other roll.

I wish I could make wishes like a genie.
 
But you'll be trapped in a lamp sank at the bottom of the sea.

I wish to have an endless flow of coffee...
 
You drown in a scalding flow of coffee that cannot be stopped.

I wish that i could say what i wanted to appear in front me and it would
 
You eventually flood your home with so much stuff from your wishes, you suffocate. You're informed at the hospital all your swag had been donated.

I Wish our planet was monitored by a Red Sun.
 
Sadly, the Red Sun next to the regular sun is just too much sun power, and all the oceans boil over, not to mention we all die. Earth begins to resemble Mars.

I wish my stuffed tiger could talk.
 
Granted, however he's racist, sexist, homophobic, and such an ass that even the westburo baptist church denounce him



I wish I had a puppy.
 
You get the puppy, but then you run into a fellow so evil, he kicks the puppy away. You lose the puppy forever, and devote your life to fighting such horrible criminals as a form based on the thing you love most. You call this new identity..."King Canine"

I wish I had my own personal SWAT/Commando team that didn't have to follow Police orders, just mine.
 
Granted, but eventually they get tired of your yelling and not brushing your teeth, then get rid of you.

I wish that I had a box of pizza.
 
Granted, but it's not the toppings you wanted.

I Wish I could break steel with my bare hands, and fight robots.
 
Granted, the only thing you will be able to break is steel and robots but all robots and all steel disappears from earth so you have a useless power and you can't even break a small stick.

I wish I didn't have breasts
 
granted, but now you have extra arms and legs instead

I wish I was a demigod
 
Granted, but you're only aware that you're a demigod when you're asleep.

I wish I was a shapeshifter.
 
Granted, but you can't turn back into a human after you turned into an animal.

I wish I wouldn't get fat if I ate a lot
 
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