Corrupt-A-Wish Thread

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Your brand new bra is VERY supportive. Now if only it'd shut up once in awhile...

I wish (and here I pause and wonder if the magic thing is cumulative) that I had a lightsaber.
 
You get the Lightsabre, but you accidentally activated it when its aimed at your forehead.

I Wish I was a Demigod.
 
Granted, but you God farther was Koalemos God of stupidity and foolishness.

I wish I always knew the right thing to say.
 
You do - thirty minutes after it would have done you any good.

I wish I had a job.
 
Granted, you are now my servant boy.

I wish I could make any RP real.
 
Granted but the first rp you make real has to be a dude or incest smut.

I wish I lived closer to my friends on here.
 
Granted, you now share a one bedroom flat with all of them.
 
Granted, you wished for nothing so you get nothing.

I wish someone unique and intelligent would run for president.
 
Granted, it's now a contest between Gibs and Vay.

I wish I had a tame pet fox.
 
You find a tame fox but are followed by an angry, untame wolf that eats the fox and then you.

I wish I could go into outerspace.
 
Granted but you have nothing to protect you from the vacuum that is space so you die.

I wish I could land any hot girl I wanted.
 
Granted, the first hot girl you land is psychopathic and kills you in your sleep before stuffing you and putting you on display in her living room.

I wish I lived on my own.
 
Granted but you live in a rat infested apartment.

I wish I could scream louder.
 
Granted, but it's only when you're getting it in the ass


I wish I had a monkey
 
You get the monkey. You die when it pelts you with its crap, the smell of it and sheer force of the monkey's throwing arm being too much for you.

I Wish I could use heat vision
 
Granted, but you can't turn it off and you end up burning you eyelids when you try to shut your eyes.

I wish I could change the way people act.
 
You now piss off everyone you try to 'change.'

I wish I could steal the life energy force of others.
 
Granted, but you steal there Personalities as well soon you don't know who you are anymore.</SPAN>

I wish I could stop every fight with just words.</SPAN>
 
You begin ending more fights, but they end with you being beaten up.

I wish I could punch a rich person in the face.
 
Granted, it's morgan freeman.

I wish I could type faster.
 
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