An intruder barges into your room! Your weapon is the object to your left...

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a paper bowl full of fire hot salsa... Spose I could blind them with it?
 
A dirty pot.

Ding em' with it and let him die in the hospital from whatever fucked up diseases are in that thing now.

Should probably wash it.
 
A pointy-heeled shoe. What, I use the heel for stabbing?
 
An Xbox Controller or my beloved tea/coffee mug. I think I could do some damage with either. Knife collection is in the cabinet opposite the door to my room though... Didn't really think that one through.
 
Different pieces of paper, a sudoku-rubix cube, a pocket knife, keys, my card, tweezers, a mini-stapler, empty soda bottle, a lamp, discount cupons and a small booklet.

The lamp would do I guess, my pocket knife isn't the easiest to ready for battle. *shrugs* Or I could offer my intruder a glass of whisky and solve things peacefully since I've stashed whisky in my room.

... Now I want an Irish Coffee...
 
Things have shifted around a bit. I guess they'd be finding out what it's like to be struck with a glass ashtray. Not the most comfortable thing to be struck in the noggin with.
 
CAUTION: DO NO COVER said the portable heater, which was conveniently in the ON and MAX positions. Greetings, intruder. W͔͙ȩ̬͈͙̝͚̣͓l̗͖͔̯̖̯̕c̳̤̱̭͍̝ͅo̯̰͡ͅm͖̱̟͎̳̙͖͘e̬̹͍ ̹̰͕̰͘t͘o̴͈͙̹ D̛̝͍̪̠͔͔͕͝͞I͏̣̜͎̰͕̤͜E̜̬̱͚̮͡ͅ.

Summary: Intruder is beaten senselessly with a very hot heating element. And to ensure their survival for later punishment, just a few inches behind that is a bottle of 99% isopropyl alcohol.
 
A glass. I can make that reasonable deadly.
 
Various cords, my phone, a desk chair, my keys...

Yeah. this'll be interesting.
 
Well would you look at that.

A packet of chocolate raisins.
 
A bottle of tiger balm
RUB IT IN THEIR EYES.
 
My wallet? Not sure what that'd do except instil crushing disappointment at HOW LITTLE MONEY I HAVE..
 
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