An intruder barges into your room! Your weapon is the object to your left...

[KaydhenCanFly]

Holy fuck, yes. Best thing ever...




A HALF FULL BOTTLE OF PERI PERI HOT SAUCE.

FEEL THE BURN, BITCH!

 

[Ray]

My phone. Why is it always my phone?

 

[Brovo]

My new mouse.

...

...

I think not. FISTICUFFS! Splendid!

 

[KaydhenCanFly]

Oh look! Now it's a fluffy fucking owl cushion. EAT FLUFFINESS, FOOL!!!

 

[Queenslayer]

A tie. :I

The burglar has swag, but I shall defeat him with class.

 

[KaydhenCanFly]

A digital camera!

Hmm..

I SHALL FILM THEIR SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH FOR MY VIEWING!

 

[Brovo]

A charger for my phone.

Step 1: Strangle with cord.

Step 2: Stab prong ends of cord into flesh of poor, poor bastard.

Step 3: "No really officer, I'm not deranged, I swear."

 

[KaydhenCanFly]

A charger for my phone.

Step 1: Strangle with cord.

Step 2: Stab prong ends of cord into flesh of poor, poor bastard.

Step 3: "No really officer, I'm not deranged, I swear."

Perfect steps for a book named "100 Things To Do With A Phone Charger".

 

[blackRoronoa]

A spoon...
I shall spoon your eyes out, then your guts. Either that or I bludgeon you to death.

 

[Klutzy Ninja Kitty]

A channel selector.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

*attempts to jump the intruder and hit them with my channel selector* :3

 

[TyratheTyrant]

SONIC SCREWDRIVER!!!!!

Dangit. I need to wish harder...

Butterfly cup. I am so ready.

 

[KaydhenCanFly]

What is this I see? My open laptop.. With FNaF 2 open? Hmm...

"You can take what you want.. IF, and only if, you can beat all 8 nights of Freddy's without dying. Hades, you can kill me if you like. Only if you beat the nights.. And don't scream." 'Piece of cake, girlie.' HAHAHA.

 

[Neobullseye]

An almost empty plastic 1.5L bottle of Pepsi. ...Welp, I'm screwed.

 

[KaydhenCanFly]

An almost empty plastic 1.5L bottle of Pepsi. ...Welp, I'm screwed.

Use shards of broken plastic! Stick it in their eyes!

 

[Oblivion666]

My cell phone.

Ha! Gonna call 911 on their ass, see how they like it when men barge in with guns.

 

[Based God]

Animal crackers... I don't know how this is going to work.

 

[Oblivion666]

Animal crackers... I don't know how this is going to work.

Make the animal sounds for the crackers. Trust me, they will never fuck with you. I mean, who's going to mess with someone making an elephant sound?

 

[Based God]

Make the animal sounds for the crackers. Trust me, they will never fuck with you. I mean, who's going to mess with someone making an elephant sound?

Holy shit. This is genius.

 

[Sonja]

a shopping bag.
s'okay. i'll thwack him with it until he passes out from sheer annoyance. ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^ )

 

[Mu]

*Looks at fan*

Well...I guess it would hurt if I hit someone with it.