Unwanted Sexual Advances

[Muna]

I had a thing happen that's pretty infuriating. Despite what was said, I won't share many details of this thing, for the love of allowing people to keep what little dignity they have left. However, because I hold such a respect for myself to not divulge risqué pictures of Muna, I was called "prudent" and compared to others who, according to this person, would have happily done what he asked. Huzzah for them, amirite?

The Interwebz provides all kinds of services - including those of a sexual nature, both good and bad. What happens when someone you know online tries to pressure you in a way that may qualify as sexual harassment? Have you ever been insulted or shamed for not committing to another person's unwanted requests online?

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I've had some cases of someone (normally men, despite me being straight) I wasn't attracted to try to hit on me.
But nothing I would classify as harassment, they were pretty responsible and sensitive about it.

 

[SlamifiedBuddafied]

Well for one I'm a male and to my understanding if you pardon my French here, there are enough swinging dicks on the internet it resembles a ceiling covered in wet limp macaroni and cheese.

Secondly I tend to stay away from those kind of places.

Save for one time I was playing an online game and some gay guy wanted my dick. Being strictly heterosexual however, I'll let it slide and keep the compliment I suppose.

 

[Minibit]

online? Every time in a public chat (ie; on game sites or places like omegle) as soon as my gender is revealed the next question is "show ur tits" =3=

 

[Muna]

I've had a some cases of someone (normally men, despite being straight) I wasn't attracted to try to hit on me.
But nothing I would classify as harassment, they were pretty responsible and sensitive about it.

I'm glad that it was responsible and they treated the situation with respect. <3

 

[Muna]

online? Every time in a public chat (ie; on game sites or places like omegle) as soon as my gender is revealed the next question is "show ur tits" =3=

Yeah, that sucks D:

This particular instance wasn't in a public online place, but online nonetheless. Someone I thought I knew. Sucks.

 

[SlamifiedBuddafied]

online? Every time in a public chat (ie; on game sites or places like omegle) as soon as my gender is revealed the next question is "show ur tits" =3=

This is when I jokingly say "show us y---..."

This is a special message from the Iwaku Board of Stupid Things Utterances Potty-mouth Idiotic Department. I.B.S.T.U.P.I.D with a friendly public service announcement of things you just don't say. SlamifiedBuddafied has been canned for the above afformentioned idiocy and stupidity under code S under the Stupid Article 7.

 

[Saint Tribs]

When I was a young thing - many many years ago- and I still identified mostly as female (mostly because I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me and I didn't know about transgender, all I knew was that I was miserable as a female but I thought it was 'normal') - Yes. I was harassed fairly constantly and not only that but I let the men on the internet take advantage of me.

To most of those men I was a toy to be used and thrown away after they got me on cam or got pictures of me. I'm not sure what it is about the internet that encourages this sort of behavior but because it was just online, I didn't fight as hard and I think they knew that going in. I had severe body shame though and it was attention and I let them talk me into things I'd never do for praise, I was coddled or admonished depending on what I was willing to do for them.

After all these years and trust me, it's been a long time - It still riles me up to no end to see people trying to take advantage of other people with this sort of shit.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

When I was a young thing - many many years ago- and I still identified mostly as female (mostly because I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me and I didn't know about transgender, all I knew was that I was miserable as a female but I thought it was 'normal') - Yes. I was harassed fairly constantly and not only that but I let the men on the internet take advantage of me.

To most of those men I was a toy to be used and thrown away after they got me on cam or got pictures of me. I'm not sure what it is about the internet that encourages this sort of behavior but because it was just online, I didn't fight as hard and I think they knew that going in. I had severe body shame though and it was attention and I let them talk me into things I'd never do for praise, I was coddled or admonished depending on what I was willing to do for them.

After all these years and trust me, it's been a long time - It still riles me up to no end to see people trying to take advantage of other people with this sort of shit.

That kind of shit seriously pisses me off.
It's guys like that which had me adopt a "Men are dicks for brains!" mentality for a few years.

 

[Brovo]

What happens when someone you know online tries to pressure you in a way that may qualify as sexual harassment? Have you ever been insulted or shamed for not committing to another person's unwanted requests online?

I ignore them. Marvels of the Internet: If they have anonymity, so do I. If they bother me, I'll ignore them or add them to block lists. If they further harass me thereafter, there are typically report and moderation tools, or I can venture to other areas of the Internet until they fuck off and find someone else. If their entire life is consumed by me: What a compliment! How's a restraining order sound to you?

In all seriousness: Yes, I've had unwarranted sexual advances on my person over the Internet. Most people when I make it clear that I hold no interest nor will return interest, do the civil thing of backing off. There have been a couple that didn't though... One got a friend to start issuing death threats to my person if I refused to start dating her, and another one attempted to fish for my real life address from online friends to send me a "gift basket."

Internet is full of fuckin' weirdos. All you can do is just ignore them, or block them, and take precautionary steps like not telling people where you live. Like this one guy I know, who obsesses over ferrets and gives stupid advice with his infuriatingly elitist tone...

 

[Gonzo]

Okay, so when I was first talking to my ex, I received pictures of her that normally no one would receive. That sounds great and all, but looking back on it, I never asked for them. So in a way, it was sexual harassment because I didn't ask for those pictures.

I mean, I didn't mind them, but I had opened them in a public place not knowing what those pictures were, and if anyone else had seen, it would have been awkward to say the least.

But then I got kinky and later in the relationship, I asked for them while I was in public, so I guess it worked out for me in the end? I dunno.

 

[feelingchimpy]

Irl, I've had a (now ex) boyfriend do some things, and one girl in Target once.

Online was the most 'interesting' though, because it was a guy who condemned homosexuality, but then wouldn't take no for an answer when he asked to roleplay ourselves having sex. Repeatedly. All the time. Even though I always said no. He had been a friend, but it got to the point where it was too much and I dropped him, although I probably should have the first time I said no and he persisted, looking back. It was really weird, though.

 

[SlamifiedBuddafied]

Okay, so when I was first talking to my ex, I received pictures of her that normally no one would receive. That sounds great and all, but looking back on it, I never asked for them. So in a way, it was sexual harassment because I didn't ask for those pictures.

I mean, I didn't mind them, but I had opened them in a public place not knowing what those pictures were, and if anyone else had seen, it would have been awkward to say the least.

But then I got kinky and later in the relationship, I asked for them while I was in public, so I guess it worked out for me in the end? I dunno.

Somebody see's you just respond, "Yeah, that's it. Don't be so jealous."

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Irl, I've had a (now ex) boyfriend do some things, and one girl in Target once.

Online was the most 'interesting' though, because it was a guy who condemned homosexuality, but then wouldn't take no for an answer when he asked to roleplay ourselves having sex. Repeatedly. All the time. Even though I always said no. He had been a friend, but it got to the point where it was too much and I dropped him, although I probably should have the first time I said no and he persisted, looking back. It was really weird, though.

I'm suspecting he was a closest homosexual.
There's a number of cases like that, where the person is scared about being LGBT so they lash out against it instead.

 

[Gonzo]

Somebody see's you just respond, "Yeah, that's it. Don't be so jealous."

Hahaha noooo I didn't mean it like that! I was genuinely participating in the discussion. .-.

 

[SlamifiedBuddafied]

Hahaha noooo I didn't mean it like that! I was genuinely participating in the discussion. .-.

Dereail

I stand by my statement.
Do note that the statement should be ready in a... how to say...

*spends a moment thinking about it*

A joking oh you caught me but I'm going to play it off in a slick kind of matter way which I'm sure Gonzo probably wouldn't employ in the first place kind of way.[/derail]

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I stand by my statement.
Do note that the statement should be ready in a... how to say...

*spends a moment thinking about it*

A joking oh you caught me but I'm going to play it off in a slick kind of matter way which I'm sure Gonzo probably wouldn't employ in the first place kind of way.

Your high is showing. :P

 

[Gonzo]

I stand by my statement.
Do note that the statement should be ready in a... how to say...

*spends a moment thinking about it*

A joking oh you caught me but I'm going to play it off in a slick kind of matter way which I'm sure Gonzo probably wouldn't employ in the first place kind of way.

I'm running on little sleep, and my brain is fried from thinking a lot throughout the day, mind posting on my profile or sending me a message saying what you just said in really simple terms so we don't derail this thing?

 

[Muna]

I'm running on little sleep, and my brain is fried from thinking a lot throughout the day, mind posting on my profile or sending me a message saying what you just said in really simple terms so we don't derail this thing?

Derailing wouldn't be appreciated. Judging by how the other threads tend to crash and burn this way, I feel this subject is worth discussing. Thanks.

 

[Muna]

If they bother me, I'll ignore them or add them to block lists.

This is what I typically do. Tonight, however, I wondered what would happen if I were to say something to an extent. Perhaps this is a perpetual problem because those who are affected ignore it... This type of situation isn't talked about often, for some reason or another. Either out of embarrassment or "strength." What happens when people stop being embarrassed and speak up instead?