"Wayne, what the hell is this?" Tony Stark asked his fellow billionaire playboy philanthropist. According to rumor, between the two of them, the equivalent of nearly the entire female population of New York City had been penetrated by their manhoods at one point or another.
Between them was, unfortunately, not a beautiful woman. It was a duck. A robotic duck.
"An improvement," Bruce said, gesturing broadly to the mechanical creature. When Tony Stark sold the D.U.C.C. line of mini-tanks to Wayne Enterprises, Bruce immediately went to work on improving the original design to meet SHIELD's ever-increasing mission parameters. Instead of the original tracked mini-tank, the prototype was now a mobile walker with a pair of legs. It stood about half Bruce's height. Within its duck-like chassis were an assortment of deadly weapons, any of which could be easily switched out in the field due to the highly-versatile Universal Weapons Payload system.
"I like it," Commander Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America and one of the leaders of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers, gave the robot a cursory study. "The extra mobility will help out in urban situations. That was something of a problem when it was still a mini-tank, at least when it first got fielded."
Bruce pointed to the robot's expanded head, the new attachments making its beak-like protrusion more prominent. "My people have installed a more sophisticated sensory suite as well. I've made sure its targeting technology keeps pace with the anti-lock programming from hostiles in the Middle East, Latveria, and elsewhere."
Tony frowned. "Its looks like Gizmoduck."
"I'm afraid I don't know what that is," Bruce said.
"Me either," added Steve.
Tony blinked in surprise. With Rogers, he simply assumed the war relic didn't know anything about current events or nostalgic shows. Bruce, however, would've been at the right to have seen the show during its original run.
"You've never watched Duck Tales?" Tony asked.
Bruce frowned. "Tony, you know I spend my time being constructive."
"But...you're a detective!" Tony urged. Tony and Steve were one of the few people Bruce trusted with his secret lifestyle as a vigilante. That trust went both ways.
Bruce sighed. "Yes. I solve mysteries, Tony."
For some reason that was unfathomable to Bruce, the other playboy started beaming. A broad grin split Tony's face. "Do you also rewrite history?"
"I'm...sorry?"
"DUCK TALES! WOO HOO!"
Bruce and Steve just gave each other a blank stare of confusion. "Stark, you need to lay off the cocaine," Bruce sniped at him good-naturedly.
"Yes," Steve agreed heartily, carrying along with the joke, "that kind of thing might be dangerous for you."
Again, Tony Stark was beaming. He sang without missing a beat, "D-d-danger, watch behind you! There's a stranger out to find you! What to do? Just grab on to some Duck Tales!" He knelt and threw an arm around Howard's mechanical neck. "WOO HOO!"
Bruce palmed his face in annoyance. "You're such an immature child, Tony."
Suddenly, the robot whirred awake. "Singing: Not pony tales. Not cotton tales. Just Duck Tales. Woo. Hoo, meatbags."
Steve froze and joined Bruce in palming his face. "You...never got rid of the Knights of the Old Republic glitch, did you, Tony?"
"...I knew I forgot something."