SURVIVOR -- Iwaku Edition -- LET THE GAMES BEGIN

No problem, just wanted to check.
 
RESULTS: CHALLENGE ONE
TEAM PURPLE WINS​




Team Purple: "The Storm", 3016 words - 35 Points
  • Metaphor: 4/10 (Four points awarded for good usage of brief metaphor- the sunlight breaking through at the end felt like good resolution, though I would have preferred to have seen it somewhere other than the very end. Zero points awarded for usage of extended metaphor- I didn't notice any extended metaphor.)
  • Character Relationship: 10/15 (Three points for portraying a realistic connection between the characters- I felt like the detective followed a standard, goal-oriented, mildly smug pattern of behaviors towards the perp. Five points awarded for the connection being original and surprising- I definitely did not anticipate a killer and a cop with this prompt. Two points for meaningful interactions between the characters- aside from the conversation, not a whole lot really goes on between them.)
  • Setting: 4/5 (The setting jumped around quite a bit- most places are given good detail. Touches like the windows into the hallway helped to immerse the reader in the world.)
  • Flashback: 10/10 (Ten points for a meaningful and concise flashback- the imagery was beautiful and it was vital to the piece, filling in the gap without dragging on or leaving too many blanks.)
  • Theme: 7/10 (Five points awarded for including the theme. Additional two points awarded for the theme starting the action.)


Team Green: Untitled, 5104 words - 29 Points

  • Metaphor: 5/10 (Five points awarded for good usage of brief metaphor- I greatly enjoyed the whale. Zero ten points awarded for usage of extended metaphor- didn't see any.)
  • Character Relationship: 11/15 (Two points for portraying a realistic connection between the characters- while it was real enough, there's hardly any development so it's difficult to make the call. Five points awarded for the connection being original and surprising- mercenary and corporate drone aren't at all what I had pictured. Four points for meaningful interactions between the characters- all of the action gets going because of their interactions.)
  • Setting: 4/5 (While the setting was nontraditional, the details felt a bit threadbare. Though I knew the kind of place, I couldn't picture myself there.)
  • Flashback: 4/10 (While the story was chopped up into two main pieces, I didn't feel like there was a clear flashback and it was all quite extended. Four points.)
  • Theme: 7/10 (Five points awarded because the theme is included. Two points awarded based on how central the theme is to the plot of the piece- it wrapped up the ending, but was not central to the action.)
  • Penalty: -2 (Submission is 104 words over the limit. One point deduction for every 50 words. 2 points deducted)



Each member of Green Team has 36 hours to message me the name of ONE team member to be eliminated. The team member with the most points will be removed from the game.​
 
Ah dangit I knew that would happen. Good job team purple, congrats on the win!
 
Also, Lady, your inbox is full so I can't send you any messages.
 
Just a question for the future, Sabine. What could have made the flashback less clunky and get the same end result?
 
Sorry 'bout that. I forget how tiny these inboxes are. O.O


The main problem is the sheer length. A flashback should be, well, a flash. If you spend too long in the past you lose the action currently going on. While the piece worked just fine as a split-timeframe story, it was split-timeframe rather than a linear story with a flashback. I, personally, would have reorganized the story so that it could be told as one continuous piece instead of chopping it into several, for the purpose of this challenge. I think your story might have been the better one overall, but by the specific criteria I judged by y'all didn't so as well.
 
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Alright, thanks. I figured "Hey, works for movies, it will so work for writing."
 
Okay guys. If you don't vote, the game can't progress. :/ There's only so much I can do.
 
The vote is Babehchu, I believe Bernkastel meant to PM it to you until the issue of a chatbox limit came up.
 
Everyone needs to vote. :/ Though since Babehchu seems thoroughly disappeared, I suppose hers can be excused.
 
Well, then there's my vote. Foolishly cast adrift on the sands of the Internet. So it's just up to the rest of the team to PM you?
 
Yep. That's why I specifically said each member. Unless you want to entrust the Team leader with the decision?
 
I think the earliest we're going to have everyone's vote is tomorrow, I'll PM them for a reminder.
 
I hate to say it, but why not just give a time limit and then say that if you don't vote in the time limit then you don't get a vote? Wouldn't that be more efficient?
 
I dislike the idea of kicking a person from the game on the say-so of 1/3 of the team.
 
Lady Sabine said:
I dislike the idea of kicking a person from the game on the say-so of 1/3 of the team.
Click to expand...
As much as I agree on this, we wouldn't want the entire game to come to a screeching halt due to people not voting too, right? Not to mention the fact that sending a PM literally only takes a minute or two, not counting the time it takes to boot your computer. So, how about this; each [insert period of time here; Let's say one day for example's sake.] after the deadline passes, one less vote is needed. So if team X has four players left, all four players need to vote at first. One day after the deadline, only three people need to vote (It's still possible for all four players to vote, just not necessary). Another day afterwards, only two people are needed, et cetera. How does that sound?

On a sidenote: people who are unable to take even five minutes out of their time for several days in a row probably shouldn't be in a game like this. Mind you, I fully understand if RL is a douche, but if that's the case, then you should just volunteer to go away or something like that.
 
Hello? Anyone still here? <_<
 
I'm still here, one more test to go and I'm home free for the rest of the year!!
 
I'm here :)
 
Red five standing by.
 
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