Seito-kai no Nichijō Seikatsu

[Mundane Monster]

"Ow! Ow! I'm sorry! I'm sorry Ushiromiya-san!" Fujimoto cried out as he tried to shield his wonderfully sensitive face from her battery. When she finally stopped he sniffled and ripped the stack of papers out of her hands. He kind of wanted to hit her back but the vice president sort of scared him now...

When Naoto entered and saved him from Ushiro-bakemono-san, he cowered behind him and swiped at the air in front of the VP. Finally composing himself, he sat down at his desk and nodded to Naoto. "Kisaragi-san is right. We need to look at the files first so we can know what to expect. And then all of us," He paused and gestured at everyone. "Need to go and get a feel of Wakahisa, Chiyo-san. This has nothing to do with women understanding each other's feelings." He shot Kisaragi a slightly irritated look. "The counselor is a freak show and we all need to scope her out. Therefore before we go we all need to have reasons to give the pretense that we aren't actually trying to see what she's about. 'Kay, I have suggestions that will fit you guys perfectly."

Taking a deep breath before continuing, "Ushiromiya-san is a violent glutton, Okimura-san and the absent Takaki-san are having a lovers quarrel, Ayano-san the other absent council member is clumsy as fuck, Okada-san is having an identity crisis, Kisaragi-san is too shy and reclusive to confess to his one and only love--ehehe wonder who that could be~ -- and as for me, well I'm your perfect leader so I guess I don't have a reason to go!" With that he gave everyone a huge grin and waited for the praise to come raining down upon his heavenly body.

 

[Lady B]

A huge vein appeared on Kiyomi's forehead as Katsuo listed the roles they would play at the counselor's office. "What did you call me!?" She yelled at the president and practically leapt out of her chair to punch him in the face. Katie had to restrain her to prevent any casualties, and so she was left stomping the floor growling "Grrrr! Grrrrr!" while flashing her teeth. When she finally calmed down, she snorted and turned away from the rest while crossing her arms. "Fine, then, I'll act this character who's TOTALLY NOT AT ALL LIKE ME to get some information out of the counselor. Since I'm such a great actor..." She took a pause and flipped her hair. "It won't be any problem for me at all to take on a role who's nothing like me. I still think you should go too, Fujimoto-san, or else it wouldn't be fair. You could say you're suffering from schizofrenia or something."

 

[ScarletNova]

Ayano pushed open the door and just stood there watching as she heard the president list off the people. Her eyes widened...clumsy...crap they're on to me... Ayano took a seat like nothing was going on around them, and nothing in her mind. "Sorry I'm late. Someone was freaking out about the new counselor and I guess they expected me to be able to do something about it." Ayano said to them all and made a sigh, trying to play everything cool. She couldn't go looking clumsy in front of them all. She sat her bag down at the table and ignored all the patches that it had from falling with it or getting it caught on something.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Chiasa hadn't noticed Kisaragi-senpai enter until he had walked past her to stop Ushiromiya from assaulting the president. "O-Ohaiyo..." It hadn't been much to her to notice the strange occurrences in the counselor's office. She never had very pleasant meetings with them herself. Chiasa shook her head as Kisaragi-senpai began to write on the board. This seemed to be his thing.

She looked to Fujimoto-san, who was dishing out a plan. "Ushiromiya-san is a violent glutton, Okimura-san and the absent Takaki-san are having a lovers quarrel, Ayano-san the other absent council member is clumsy as fuck, Okada-san is having an identity crisis.." Okada dropped her bag and her mouth fell open. I-Identity crisis?! Does he have any idea how much time and effort I put into those cosplays?! Wait a minute, of course! This is just a part of kaicho's ingenuous plan to get in with the student counselor! He's just prattling off quirks for us to play through.

Chiasa sighed. "You had me worried there for a minute," she said, waving a hand dismissively. "Of course I can take on such a role! I could do any cosplay I wanted all at the same time- I love it! Good one, sir!" Chiasa gave a thumbs-up.

 

[Merry Berry]

Katie's heart leapt when she heard that she and Kouta would be playing the roles of a couple. Of course they were supposed to be arguing, but it didn't matter to her maiden heart. Her entire face grew boiling red, and she was practically steaming. "I-uhh-okay-that's-like-okay-I-can-do-that-I-guess-hahahaha..." She spoke stiffly and robot-like, laughing awkwardly at the end

 

[Banana-senpai]

"Ara, a freak show?" Naoto said, visibly lightening up after slumping a little at the return of the use of his surname by Fujimoto. He had a passionate interest in people and things that are unusual, special, different and of course, freak shows like the counselor are his kind of thing. He was definitely interested now, and it showed with the malicious gleam in his eyes, and in the wake of his rather sinister looking excited smile. "I like your plan very much, Kaicho." If only the light from the window would conceal the crazed look in his eyes, sadly, it didn't. He had completely abandoned writing on the board as usual. He set Fujimoto nearer to the board and away from Ushiromiya, straightened the other's uniform and sat down on the table. He pulled out his phone and busied himself reading something. "So, my role is to play a shy person who wants to confess...I have some sources...let's see...stutter, hesitation in sharing opinions...mhm, quiet manner of speech, restrained gestures...mm...as for a subject of infatuation...huh." He looked at the rest. "Who among you will let me admire you?"

 

[driftingstar]

Obviously something was going on, but the exact nature of the development was a mystery for one walking in late. Kouta winced inwardly at the thought but had already opened the door with his usual enthusiasm. So rather than a hello, he entered with, "Sorry I'm late! Had to take care of some family stuff on the way here." With that, he walked in, apparently unaware of a brightly colored thing stuck to his back. It was hot pink and looked like a young girl's stationary. There was a message scribbled onto it that read: 'Niisan is a clueless dummy!!' in huge letters. This would easily be spotted as he headed to a chair...though sitting down would knock it off. Maybe. In any case, his focus was on the others in the room. It looked like a lot of people were present. Was he not just late, but also the last one to show up? He decided to sit and listen in, just in case.

 

[Mundane Monster]

Once again, Fujimoto let out a girlish shriek of terror and cowered behind his desk, as Ushiromiya-san growled at him angrily. Finally composing himself, he stood up and huffed. "Me? A schizo? That is totally unlike me! I'm perfect!" He snapped, glowering at her. He smiled broadly at Okada-san and Okimura-san and gave them a thumbs up. "See at least some people are willing to obey and stand by their fearless leader without question!" When Takaki-san came in, Fujimoto ignored his tardiness, and gestured at Okimura. "Hey, treasurer, go and brainstorm with Okimura-san about what your lover's quarrel will be about."

Turning to Nakamura-san, he gestured at her bag that really wasn't a bag at this point. It was like war torn artifact. "You should definitely bring that to the meeting."
Fujimoto smiled to himself, everything was going fine. Absolutely fine-Pretty freaking---"EH?!"
What had Kisaragi just said? How could he possibly not know who he should admire?!

ME YOU DOLT! Fujimoto screeched in his mind, but outside he just smiled tightly. "I. Don't. Know. Ki-sa-ra-gi-san. Who. Among us. Will allow. Ki-sa-ra-gi-san. To admire. Them?" He gritted out, unable to say 'Kisargi' as one whole word and not just ejected syllables.

 

[Banana-senpai]

Determination to hold his newly assigned role burned in Naoto's eyes. He wants to play his part so he could examine the counselor after all! He patted his blazer pocket, nodding at the capped syringe he always prepared for certain instances. Obviously though, he has to examine her while she's conscious-like how his cousin taught him. He frowned, brows furrowed deep in thought. Before he knew it, he had written the names of the council members on the board. "Do-re ni shi-yo-u ka-na?" He said, tapping each name, one at a time. "Te-n no ka-mi-sa-ma no, i-u to-o-ri ni, i-ta-shi-ma-shi-you-u ne, pe-ko-pe-ko a-bu-ra-mu-shi. Ara!"

His chalk landed on Takaki Kouta.

"Takaki-han, would you let me-ah." He looked at Takaki closely, scanning the other boy from head to toe. "I suppose I couldn't." Naoto said with a sagely nod. "It interferes with his role." The second time he was about to try, he reviewed what Kaichou said in his mind.

"Ushiromiya-san is a violent glutton, Okimura-san and the absent Takaki-san are having a lovers quarrel, Ayano-san the other absent council member is clumsy as fuck, Okada-san is having an identity crisis, Kisaragi-san is too shy and reclusive to confess to his one and only love--ehehe wonder who that could be-- and as for me, well I'm your perfect leader so I guess I don't have a reason to go!"

"Kaichou! That's right! You're perfect!" He was just about to internalize the idea when he realized an inconsistency. "However according to data, Ushiromiya-han has the most admirers and it will be statistically accurate for a student of my profile to admire her as well..." He fell silent and scanned them both like he did to Takaki. He then took a deep breath. "Kaichou, because it's truer to my idiosyncrasy I'm now your shy admirer!" He took off his glasses, rearranged his hair and opted for a softer expression.
He seemed to have changed so drastically.

Nao dere

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Chiasa went to closet and looked through her on hand cosplay selection. If she was playing an identity crisis then they wouldn't have to be too far fetched. Any time she put on a cosplay, no matter what it was, should be fine as she liked to act out the personalities as well. She listened to the conversation flow on behin her. Takaki-san and Okimura-san needed to plan out their act but otherwise it seemed everyone else didn't need to prep much.

"Let's see... Hmm... I'll take Suzumiya, Haraharu- I don't remember bringing her here- Crona- I don't remember bringing him in here either...- Hilda- Oh wow! I have a Reina cosplay in here too?! An one more... Ara! Botan!" She twirled with the cosplays in hand, a blissful blush on her cheeks. She had an arsenal of diverse cosplay- apparently even more so than she herself had realized- and the thought of doning all of them at once had her feeling an awesome sense of pride. She shook her head and looked back at everyone else. "So, who's going first?" Chiasa gently folded the cosplays and put them into her bag as well as the accessories to go with them.

 

[ScarletNova]

Ayano took a look at her bag when the president mentioned it. Apparently, they had roles they were playing? That must have been what was being ranted off. Ayano made a sigh of relief, so they really didn't know the truth. They were just making things up for everyone. She could do that, she was a very good actress as well, for the most part. After all, she was able to fool the school into thinking she was calm and cool, when she wasn't. "Sure, whatever you need Prez." Ayano replied.

 

[Merry Berry]

Katie walked over to sit next to Kouta with a smile on her face and slightly rosie cheeks. "Hi, Takaki-kun, looks like we'll be working together today! Let's get along, even if we're supposed to be quarreling, okay?" As she was about to sit down, she noticed a colourful piece of paper on the ground behind Kouta's chair. She picked it up, and noticed something scribbled in a cute handwriting on the back. "Nii-san is a clueless dummy!!..." She read out loud. As if controlled by some primal instinct, Katie forcefully crumpled up the note, and slowly sat down. While smiling a bit too widely, she turned to Kouta. "So, Takaki-kun, I'm assuming this is yours? Mind telling us what it's about?" She said while holding out the small, pink ball of paper.

 

[driftingstar]

Under normal circumstances, Kouta would have been more than happy to help out with...whatever they were working on. He couldn't figure it out. What meeting was Fujimoto talking about? Why did Naoto need to ask someone to be an admirer, and what did that have to do with anything? Maybe the puzzle would have made some degree of sense, but there was one little detail that kept throwing off everything. L-lover's quarrel...?! Not for the first time, he turned the words over in his head, expression steadily creeping away from 'puzzled', flying right through 'confused', and headed towards 'utterly lost'. Before he could interrupt and ask what was going on - or really recover from the shock of fate nearly selecting him as the target of Naoto's admiration - Katie approached. Okimura-sempai knows what this is all about, right? I'll ask her, now's a good time, right?

"Yeah, let's do our best!" He managed a lopsided smile. With all the other questions he had, he barely even noticed her leaning down to pick something up. "But, er, sempai? What exactly are we d--" Then she read something aloud, and for the second time in less than five minutes, he sputtered wordlessly, too startled to make his voice work properly. I am not a clueless dummy! was his first thought. Followed by Why did she say that? "Huh? What's mine? Let me see..." He reached over and took the crumpled paper. Before he even unfolded it entirely, he recognized the pattern. There was only one person he knew with that handwriting.

"Nanami...not again!" The word came out in a blend of annoyance, surprise, and exasperation. He crunched the paper back into a ball. "So that was what she was up to! I should've guessed it." Kouta sighed and shook his head. "I thought she had forgiven me already, but I guess not, huh...I'll have to make it up to her somehow." As he looked up from the ball of paper, he said, "Eheh, don't worry about it sempai, she's just mad because of a mistake I made this weekend, it's no big deal. I hope." An innocently questioning look was on his face. "So, um, why are you and I having a lover's quarrel?" He smiled back, not quite sure why her tone had changed.

 

[Mundane Monster]

Fujimoto's earlier irritation evaporated immediately, when Kisaragi-san chose him--like fate had previously decided--to be the object of his undying and loyal affections. He smiled wide and was about to spew some crap about how of course he was perfect because he was indeed perfect--when the transformation occurred.

Spoiler

When he recovered from his spontaneous nose bleed, he waved his arms frantically with 'shoo! shoo! get out of here!' gestures. "One of you g-go and meet with the counselor! B-but all of you leave cause I said so!!" He spluttered, unable to take his eyes off of the Bishounen--err Kisaragi-san.

 

[Banana-senpai]

Dere-dere Shy Version Naoto bowed politely as he motioned to leave the council room with a quiet little "Hai."

And he walked right to the door.

He clutched his head in pain, shaking it a little. He was blind as a bat without his glasses. But he wouldn't want to break character by putting his glasses back on! No, it was all about performance now. The show must go on! Isn't that how actors do it? He'll just find his way to get his contacts from his office later.

He felt for the handle and slid the door open, taking a few steps out. With a manner entirely unlike his own, he walked a bit further ahead of the rest before turning to them again. He appeared to struggle with his words, his eyes awkwardly sweeping about for a moment, only to rest on the floor somewhere near the others. "Ano," He began, even his voice sounded rather less deep. "Which of us is going first?" His silly Kansaiben was gone and he spoke meekly...to the nearby wall.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Chiasa picked up her bag and put the strap over her head. "Ryoukai! I shall return victorious!" She paused behind Kisaragi-senpai. She waited as he opened the door and slowly stepped out into the hall. Chiasa stared as he addressed the wall. "Ano...Kisaragi-senpai... We're over here..." She couldn't feeling embarrassed for her senior. "Are you sure you can go on like that? I-I'll go first so you can...you know..." She turned away from him and ran down to the counselor's office. She stopped near the door, not right in front, and opened her bag.

She took a deep breath and mentally prepared herself for whatever she was about to walk into. Students watched or whispered as they walked by. Chiasa was starting to worry at this point but there was no backing out now. The students needed them to take care of this. With a sigh she took out her first intended cosplay, Suzumiya Haruhi, and walked to the nearby restroom.

Once changed she returned to the door and knocked gently. Before turning the knob to enter. "I'm coming in!" she said a little too loudly as she pushed open the door. She glanced around the room with a deeply scrutinizing gaze before looking at the woman on the other side. She didn't seem out of the ordinary...

"I heard that there was someone interesting her that could help me with a...personal problem," she said as she closed the door with her foot. "You see, sometimes I feel like a rebellious, unbeknownst god that definitely causes the strange but awesome things that happen in this world and other times I feel like-" she took off the wig and in a blur of movement she had changed into the Haruko cosplay- "a rebellious alien just hanging around all these useless humans." In another blur she brandished the skimpy .Hack armor and long sword. "But being a warrior fighting for my life is so much more fun!" She sheathed the sword and fell to her knees, instantly bawling. "But I just don't know anymore! There are so many voices in my head that I just don't know who I am anymore. I don't have anyone at home to turn to- my parents say it's just a phase and I'll grow out of it but it's impossible to make friends when you can change personalities as easily as I can... I want to find my voice. Can you hep me?"

 

[Banana-senpai]

Okada's voice came from somewhere he wasn't looking, confusing Naoto for a moment. With a hand he confirmed to himself that he was definitely speaking to the wall. "My apologies, wall." He said awkwardly as he turned, walking in a strange parading soldier-like way in order to make sure he wouldn't bump into anything. His muscle memory wasn't that good so he nearly fell down the stairs if not for his loyal subordinate finding him and leading him to his office.

With his contacts all set [which were colored and dolly-type because his sister had picked for him], he made his way to the counselor's office. He took a deep breath, once again internalizing his new character. He patted the syringe in his pocket thrice and knocked thrice. "Excuse me, Miss counselor." He said smoothly, the posh Tokyo accent worked nicely with his "shy voice". He waited until he was asked to enter and he slid in quickly as if afraid something in the air would come in with him.

"I-it's a big dilemma," He began. "I can't contain my feelings. Please help me." He said with a restrained tone, speaking to the floor as he fiddled with his thumbs and bit his lip. He peeked at the counselor meekly, not lifting his chin.

 

[ScarletNova]

Ayano placed her fingers around her bag. She had figured out now that they were doing acts to talk to the new counselor. So, her act must have been that klutzy thing that was shouted out. The president was really close to the truth, she would just have to do this really well so she didn't look like she had that. "Alright." She said as others were beginning to leave. She stood back up, took her bag and began walking to the door. She opened it up and headed out towards the counselors office, trying to think of what would be a really good way to enter. It might add to the clumsiness if some of the student council were already in there and they were talking to her when Ayano would come in, in a way that was klutzy of course.

 

[Lady B]

Kiyomi grunted, walking up to the now infamous student council closet. "Well, if I'm going to go all the way to the counselor's office, I'll need to do it without attracting too much attention. A disguise would be perfect." She said as she opened the doors, pulling out random articles of cosplay clothing. The end result was a terrible mixture of clothes and a hot pink wig. Even if she now looked completely outrageous, Kiyomi no longer resembled her usual self.

Standing in front of the counselor's office, Kiyomi took a deep breath in order to get into character. Putting on a slightly nervous face, she knocked and opened the door. "Um, can i talk?.."

 

[Mundane Monster]

Wakahisa Chiyo was using photo editing software to mesh various facial features together in hopes of creating the perfect child. So far, she had only managed to create a beast that would rival Frankenstein's monster in terms of ugliness.


"Why is my life so difficult?" She sighed, resting her head on the table as she stared at her 'creation'. Sighing heavily, she clicked on 'New page' and then 'Don't Save' when options appeared. She would have to start from scratch for the eleventh time that week. She just couldn't find good enough physical traits.


Suddenly, a glorious sound pierced her ears. A lilting and sweet, Tokyo accent with just the right pitch and amount of pure, raw feeling. Chiyo looked up to see a boy with beautiful sparkling eyes, dark hair and wondrous pale skin. The counselor had to dig her nails into her palms in order to stop herself from launching herself across the room and embracing the child.


She stood up slowly, and gestured to one of the couch chairs in front of her. "Please, have a seat and tell me wha--" It was then that she noticed his height. He was tall. Very tall. Too tall. But no matter, excessive height was an easy fix. She wasn't an ableist and she wouldn't mind having a legless child. Clearing her throat, she continued. "please tell me what's going on." She said cheerfully.


- -


"Focus, Chiyo! Focus!" She had just come back from a meeting with the principal. Apparently her search for the perfect offspring wasn't important and she actually needed to solve some of the student's problems.


"Tch. Damn old man." She muttered darkly, snatching up a few 'reject' portfolios and skimming the student's 'issues'. "Why do I have to solve these problems for them. These potato faced little brats need to do something for themselves for once."


She was about to call a 'Honda Ai' down to her office so that they could discuss her future, when her door opened and in walked a goddess. A gorgeous girl with exemplary eyebrows and deliciously slender digits. The only problem was her breathtakingly monstrous clothing.


"H-How might I help you dear?" Chiyo asked with a mixture of hesitance and interest.


- -


After calming himself down and dabbing at whatever spots of blood that he could find on his clothing, he exited the council room and locked the door behind him before heading to the counselors office. He didn't quite know what he was going to say to the counselor yet. He didn't think he could pull off the 'schizo' thing that Ushiromiya had suggested because honestly, who would fall for that after seeing how wonderfully perfect and awesome he was?

While he was pondering what problem he was going to pretend to have, he didn't realize that he had already reached the office and had yanked the door open, surprising the counselor who was eating some instant ramen.


They stared at each other for awhile before, the counselor rapidly slurped up the remainder of her lunch and stood up quickly. "S-Sit down, slender neck! Share whatever issues you have with me!"


Slender--"What did you call me?" Fujimoto asked warily, taking a step back.


"Eh? Hahaha! Nothing, nothing! Just a little slip up! Pay me no mind!" The counselor laughed nervously, gesturing at the seats in front of her. "Now then, what can I help you with?"