Saving and Secrets

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It was only when April became aware of herself, and the scarlet tints on Caleb's cheeks, that she realized what she was doing, and their alarming proximity. She pulled back and stared at her hands, flustered. "A-ah! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I just- you- your face is- it's reallly pretty and I j- well! I better be uh, I better get to that uh that--that painting!" She proclaimed suddenly, stepping over her own words. Rising, she ran to the bedroom to change, not leaving Caleb enough time to respond. She didn't think she wanted a response.

"Jesus christ, April, think for once! He's probably sitting there, contemplating our relationship status! Should I be contemplating our relationship status? Wh- well, I don't- I mean, I could- he's, he's very nice and very sweet but- he's!" She let out a sigh. "Probably not in the mental state to enter a relationship. Depression is kind of a big cock block." She told herself, laughing out another sigh. "And even if he wasn't, what if he's gay? I mean, he hasn't exactly made 'a move' yet, which is entirely okay and normal but he did tell me he was working in a gay strip club... which might've been his way of coming out to me?" The debate continued.

She finished changing into pajama wear and dashed out of the closet, before freezing. He didn't hear that conversation with herself in the closet, did he? She crept up to the bedroom door and peeped her head out of the doorway to survey Caleb.
 
Caleb wat he'd her suddenly pull back and run off when she couldn't really find the right words. He didn't hear much what she said, mostly just mumbling until he heard her say that depression was a major cockblock. The small smile that had been pulling at the corner of his mouth disappeared. Oh... well... that was a big hit. If it was such a major turn off for her then there was no chance in hell for him. She probably didn't like him like that to begin with, just as a good friend. Even if he liked her, wether he knew if she was attracted to him or not, she deserved better than him. He wasn't a very good guy, he had a lot of baggage.

When she came back in painters clothes, Caleb had already grabbed some Chinese food. It was clear she didn't like him. All he had to do was to get move out as fast as he could. Neither of them would benefit of living together. He liked her but she didn't like him, his depression being a "cockblock". He wished he wasn't depressed, maybe she would have liked him then. Not that it mattered. He was still a bad person. He didn't say anything when she walked in until she looked at his food. "I just took some. I hope that's okay." He said. Hopefully he would be over his depression when he found his own place and could move in with Anna again.
 
April looked over her shoulder when she heard his voice. "Oh, yeah! Go ahead, help yourself." She told him, laughing as she headed to the kitchen. He didn't look like he heard her, which was good. She didn't know what she would do if she heard her great debate between herself.

April's love life was dull, to say the least. She had a frisky boyfriend in highschool, they'd been best buds since kindergarten, but the two slowly drifted apart when college struck. After that, her social life in general just hit a dull end--she had friends, acquaintances, sure, but nothing as close as her and Caleb. And Caleb... she wasn't exactly sure how she felt about him. She knew she felt, and she felt a lot, but if it was love or even a romantic like, she had no clue. Even if she did come to terms with herself, even if she did love him, he wouldn't reciprocate. Depression makes a person's emotions unstable. He tried to kill himself for Christ's sake. And even if he did reciprocate her metaphorical feelings in this metaphorical universe, the relationship that they would have would be unhealthy for the both of them, turbulent, codependent, disasterous. It wouldn't work out.

One of them would break.

April ran a hand through her hair, worn out by her own thought process. She reached for the other box of Chinese takeout and headed to the makeshift studio in her living room. The starchy smell of ink and paint filled the room as she twisted open the lids, brought out the palettes and unboxed her brushes.

"You know, ideally, you're not supposed to eat while you paint because the paint could get in your food or the food could get in your paint, but it's fine. Trust me." She chuckled as she shoved spoonfuls of fried rice into her face, simultaneously squeezing out paint.
 
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Watching April start to work... It brought him some sort of peaceful feeling, relaxed. Like there wasnt much to worry about. He liked seeing her busy and being all artistic. He wasnt artistic what so ever so to see someone be very artistic was very fascinating. At least she had something she was great at. He didnt know if he was very good at anything. Did he have any sort of skill set? He didnt know. Maybe at some point he would become good at modelling but he didnt think that would be very hard to be honest, you just had to stand in front of a camera and do as the director said.

Caleb watched April paint and finished his food before laying down on the couch and watched her put paint on the canvas. He ended up falling asleep. With his medication and all, it did really make him tired. He knew why he had those meds. It made him sleepy so he wouldnt think too much about everything, so he wouldnt feel the pain or notice the war in his head for a few hours.

It probably wasnt smart of him to stay with April. He didnt want his depression to effect her. She was too good for him and he wanted her to keep her smile whenever she saw him. She just mumbled to herself that depression was a major turn off, so they probably wouldnt take their friendship to another level or just their relationship in general. He was probably holding her back somehow by just being around.

No, he wasnt planning on killing himself, but it was just what he thought. She had just rambled a story to herself about different things and his depression was mentioned. He didnt want to be a nuisance.

Falling asleep with the medicine, Caleb lay across the couch with an arm over his eyes. He would probably wake in a few hours.
 
April had been laboring over the piece of art for a good few hours, it was just about midnight when she finally looked up from her canvas. She'd been painting a little boy and his pup, playing at a park together. Her palette consisted of mild greens, cerise, pale cream colors and a good chestnut brown to moderate the piece. It had taken a while to properly capture the light in his eyes, but she had done it. Of course, it would take a few more days of layering and touching up to finish the piece.

Caleb had been, even if he didn't realize it, silently cheering her on in her head. Just his presence felt right, almost a motivation for her to continue to continue to toil away with a paintbrush.

She looked over her shoulder and found that Caleb had dozed off, his mouth hanging open just slightly. She'd laughed a little, covered him with a blanket and paused as she pulled it over him. For a moment, and was almost instinct, she was about to plant a kiss on his forehead. Her cheeks grew flushed as she lingered on the thought. It wasn't exactly a friendly gesture that screamed platonic, and that worried April as she went to sleep in her own bed.

The next Monday had been standard. April had reminded Caleb to take his medication first thing in the morning, they had breakfast and went about their day. April had been stationed in her makeshift studio for a good portion of the day whilst Caleb stayed in her room, likely preparing himself for tomorrow's interview. She was a little jittery about it herself.

And so arrived fateful Tuesday morning. April had made sure to rise early and shake awake Caleb as well. The interview was scheduled for 11:00 PM, and April was determined to get him slicked back and looking like he was ready to strut the runway.

"Come on! Wake up, wake up!! I'll make breakfast, bathroom is yours. Today calls for a hearty breakfast!" She beamed, just about bouncing on her feet.
 
Caleb had been super nervous for tuesday. He couldn't sleep well, tended not to eat much and whenever he could he looked himself over in the mirror. Maybe because he had been abused and raped and homeless and basically a prostitute and stripper, he wasnt feeling totally self-confident about his looks. Of course other people didnt see it, but he saw all the mental, emotional and physical scars, how life had worn him down, it was kind of depressing. April was always there to take his depression away though, she made him fee good about himself and always complimented him, looking at what he could wear for the appointment. She seemed more excited about it than him!

Caleb groaned awake when April beamed and jumped at the couch, telling him to get up. Yes, he was still sleeping on the couch that was slightly too small for him, his feet were sticking out. Hopefully he would make enough to get his own place with an actual bed once he got the job.

"I'm awake, I'm awake." He mumbled to April and yawned before pushing himself up, his hair a morning mess. He yawned again and stretched before staring ahead tiredly. He had not slept well last night. Caleb rubbed his face and stood up. "I'm gonna shower. I'll be right back" He said and walked through April's room to take a shower. He made sure to shave himself as well, he couldnt forget that. He figured he would leave his hair without any product, April would probably want to do it before they left.

Once done in the bathroom, he looked less sleepy as he joined April at the breakfast table. "This all looks amazing, like always when you make breakfast." He smiled at April. He tried to smile more for her, she was working so hard to keep him positive, he really had to find a way to thank her for that once he had money. He really appreciated it all.
 
April left for the kitchen with her feet near bouncing with excitement, a soft pitter patter on the tiled floor. She was overflowing with energy she didn't know what to do with, it was as if she could hop onto the balcony and scream at the world. Of course, there was the obvious, she was jittery about his interview and even a little prideful of how amazing he would look, strutting in. Then, there were the unaddressed feelings she had, which she decided she would shove to the back of her mind. Art prints to ship, paintings to complete and bills to pay.

Even so, she whipped up a batch of eggs on toast and bacon fried crisp, as she knew Caleb wouldn't take too long and she didn't want to keep him. Two tall glasses of orange juice and a pinch of love later, April looked up to find him coming out. She smiled and sat down, rubbing the back of her neck at his compliment.

"Oh, hush. This is nothing." She said. Their breakfast was small talk and comfortable silences. April could feel her nerves cooling. Though, nothing could mollify her excitement for having full control over his attire.

"Come on. We don't have to leave for another two-ish hours. And we'll need every second." She told him after shoving the dishes in the sink and scurrying over to her bathroom. She pulled up a stool and gestured for him to sit. "We'll do your face and hair first, and then pick out an outfit. Is that okay?" She asked, already pulling out a ridiculously sized makeup box along with heaving up a tub of hair things. She didn't really wear as much makeup as she used to, what with her lack of much need for it, other than to maybe feel pretty once in a while, but she could never quite bear to part with it.
 
They barely had time to eat. Before Caleb could even finish his plate, April had already taken it and quickly rinsed it off. before dragging him to the bathroom. "Woah woah!" Caleb said. "I-I dont need make up, they'll think I'm a fag or something" He said. "You already said that my face was handsome, I dont need stuff on top of it." Caleb said.

He was already starting to dread this job. He dreaded it before he even had the interview. Makeup and fancy clothes were nothing for him, fame and tings like that, he didnt need it. Maybe he could find a way to ear money another way... There were no more ways though, he had tried everything.

"I dont know about this April. What it I mess up?" Caleb asked biting his bottom lip. "I dont have a portfolio with pictures like everyone else. Ive never taken a picture before.. What if they think I'm ugly?" That would be a first though.
 
"They'll think you're a..." April paused. She set the brush in her hand down. "So you're not.." She muttered under her breath, before shaking her head. Maybe she was going too fast. Maybe she was overwhelming him. April waited until Caleb was done ticking off all is insecurities to interject, taking his hand in hers.

"You don't need a portfolio. You just need a pretty face, which, clearly, you most certainly have." April paused, laughing a little. "Yeah, modeling is a vain business. But it pays well. Here, look. The next time we go out, I'll point out all the girls that are staring at you, and there certainly are many." She laughed as she raised her hand to pat his head reassuringly.

"You'll be perfect. Trust me. April knows all." She told him, before turning back around to rummage through all her accessories and beauty products.

"We won't turn you into an Instagram caricature, but, if it's alright with you, I'm going to put on a little bit of makeup on you, okay? Don't worry, everyone wears makeup in the industry. Edward Cullen's lip shade was highly debated when the movie came out." She said matter of factly as she pulled out a collection of powders and foundations. She would have to match his complexion first.
 
He wasnt what? Gay? She thought he was gay? He didnt blame her for thinking that, he had whored himself out to men and women so of course she would think he was gay. When she said she would point out people who stared at her he just gave her a look. He seriously doubted people looked at him. "Okay fine, I trust you." Caleb said when she said she would put on a little bit of make up on him.

It felt weird to have make up on, but he supposed he had to. He needed this job. "You're coming with me, right?" He asked her as she started to apply the make up. He had to be confident, he knew that, it was just... Because this was his last chance of actually finding a decent job he was scared he wouldnt get it and April was kind of his beacon of hope right now. She had already been through so much with him even though they had only randomly met at the park.

April said he was perfect, or at least prefect for the job so he had to remember that. He couldnt wait to start making money though and to get his own place where he and Anna could live. He wanted to stay close to this place. He wanted to visit April and the neighbourhood was nice. He never wanted to go back to that shitty trailer he had called home for so long.

Caleb waited for her to be done and looked himself in the mirror with a slight frown. "I look like some Ken doll." He said even though it wasnt bad. He just wasnt used to it, that was all. It was how they would want him for shoots though.
 
"Oh dear. That's not the look I was going for. Oh well! No large Hawaiian shirt for you, though. Here, I'm sure I have a suit and tie in here somewhere. If not the tie, we'll just stop by a clothing shop on the way there." April told him, getting up. In truth, she didn't know what she was doing. Yes, she'd been in the modeling industry, but she wasn't exactly sure how makeup was supposed to be applied to men. Women, hell yeah, she had it down pat. Oh well. She'd have to improvise--she couldn't let a shred of doubt enter his mind. As she marched over to her closet, she spoke to herself quietly.

"Hm, no... not this one. Would that be too small? I think so. Maybe this? Alright, white shirt... aha! Red tie. Awh, he would look so cute in this! Oh, and with those jeans, they'd bring out his eyes! A masterpi- No, April, focus. Blazer, blazer, blazer... we have the standard black... oh look, there's a purple. Saucy." April continued to ramble to herself in the closet until she found what she thought would look best on him.

She handed them the change of clothing and shoved him into the closet to change, grinning pridefully at the closed door. "I'm going to gel your hair back after you change, okay?" April called out to him. She had a bit of experience with gel, so the woman was more confident in those abilities than anything else.
 
Caleb almost stumbled as she pulled him from the make up chair and shoved him into the walk in closet with a bunch of clothes. He looked at it and sighed before changing into whatever she had handed him. He had just taken off his pants when she spoke about his hair. "I'll look like a damn criminal if you do that. Cant we just spike it like normal?" He asked her through the door.

Caleb knew he had a bit of an intimidating look, it's why he had gotten certain jobs on the streets that no one else received. If she slicked his hair back he might look meaner than he already was. He didnt know if they liked that. He already looked pretty badass with his messy hair he though.

Caleb got dressed and walked out of the closet. "How do I look?" He asked her. His tie was still over his shoulder, he didnt know how to tie it exactly, he's never had to wear one before. His fancy clothing contained dresspants and just a button up shirt. "Your dad left a lot of clothes here.. Maybe you have some secret lover I dont know about." He teased. "What would he think if he saw the both of us in your bedroom together." He chuckled playfully.
 
"Oh geez. I'll think about it!" April replied. She followed through on her word. The image she conjured in her mind was of a sleazy drug dealer who likely hopped the border twenty something times. She had to laugh. "Okay. Maybe we'll pass on the hair gel. I don't know how to spike up hair. Plus, your natural hair looks cool anyway." She told him, giggling still.

"Oh- oh, my." April's heart fluttered. All at once, her stomach began apparently performing acrobatics whilst she could feel a heat spreading from the tips of her ears throughout her chest. "You uh," The flustered woman cleared her throat. "You look- yes. Wait, no, you-" She ran a hand through her hair. "You look great. Slick as hell. Very handsome. Boyfriend material. Wait-" She thumped her forehead, before Caleb began teasing her.

"Oh, hush, you! Come on now, sit down, let me tie your tie." April said, waving him off with a chuckle escaping from her. "You know well and good that there's nothing of the sort happening." She reminded him, stepping into his personal bubble to complete the task. Her eyes focused on her hands.

As for the actual reason she had so many of her father' she articles of clothing, well, after after her mother sort of went off the deep end, he didn't quite have a place to stay, as she would constantly kick him off the curb. It was his fault, she would scream. His fault their baby was gone and his fault their only other kid was halfway across the country. April was, of course, a little surprised to have her father arrive at her doorstep so suddenly. But she let him in and lent him a home for a while. He could've easily gotten a different place, a divorce, or even stayed at a hotel until his wife calmed down. But he didn't. He was also who had brought all the board games, most of which used to belong to Eli. It was a sort of reconciliation. A strange one, as it was usually the other way around, but it worked out in the end. He stayed for about 6 months, until he decided he'd try to make ends meet with his wife.

April returned to the present. She'd asked him to sit down so that she could do at least something to his hair. She'd been mindlessly brushing his hair, and for a bit too long, she realized. "My bad. Okay, that's good. Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen if you need to stress eat. I know how jittery a person can get before an interview. I'll be ready in a moment."
 
(I'll reply to this tomorrow morning! I promise!)
 
Caleb walked out and couldn't help but to smirk at April's response as he walked out. Did he really look that good? It was a good feeling to get a response like that and not some weary looks. He let her do his tie and then his hair though she seemed to be in some sort of trans. It was nice to see her so close to him. People always thought they were a couple when all they were were friends, but he wondered what it would be like if they were an actual couple. She was kind and funny, she was beautiful and caring. Perfect girlfriend material, but of course she wouldnt fall for someone who had no home and no job or money. She should find someone though, it probably wouldnt bee too hard for her if she tried.

When she told him to help himself for the interview, Caleb just got himself some juice, though didnt drink too much or he might have to pee during the interview. "Okay, I think I can do this." He said and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not nervous yet, but I guess I will be once we get there." He chuckled a bit awkwardly, this was a huge deal, but he knew he could do it!
 
April took his place in the shower as he stepped out. Scrubbing her skin didn't take very long at all, but the part that forced Caleb to wonder if she had accidentally summoned Bloody Mary in there was the part in which she steamrolled through her all the beauty products she owned.

She wasn't sure if Caleb had seen her with a fully decked out face yet, but she supposed that didn't matter. Emerging with a red dress and hair loosely held back with a few pins, April waved at Caleb. The woman donned a light shade of lip, something you'd stop to take a picture of when the sky shifted.

"We better get going." She started, shoving a bottle of water into her bag. Wouldn't want to dehydrate. They clambered into her car and drove off, deciding that they'd go get lunch after the interview was finished. Something light, in consideration for Caleb. Vomiting directly after an interview didn't quite seem like an ideal way to start off the day.

April pulled up to the agency. "Ready?" She reached for Caleb's hand and gave it a squeeze. "You'll do fine! Don't worry about it." A reassuring smile.
 
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Caleb watched April with big eyes as she popped out of the bedroom. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Why wasn't she going up for modeling? She had the face and the body. He had never seen her with so much make up on but it still looked natural. It suited her well.

They hopped in the car and drove to the agency. He took a deep breath when she parked in front of the building. "No." He said when she asked if he was ready. She encouraged him though, saying he would do fine and not to worry about it. "Y-you're right. I-I can d-do this..." he said and swallowed hard, he was getting nervous now. "I-if I-I can't, I-I guess it just means going back t-to the strip club." He said and took a deep breath. If this didn't work out he would have to accept his fate. If this didn't work out he would never be able to provide for his little sister, never be able to give her a home. He wouldn't be able to stay with April forever either so he would end up homeless again if this didn't work out.

"Thank you." Caleb said to April. "Wish me luck." He said and quickly leaned into her cheek before getting out of the truck. He heard it brought luck to kiss a girl.

Caleb went inside and to the front desk. "E-excuse me, Miss. I have an appointment at 11." He told the receptionist. Hopefully things would go as planned. Fingers crossed.
 
April laughed a little at the jittery man. "Hey, stop that. You're gonna stress yourself to death before you can even shake hands with the interviewer." She joked, nudging him. A soft pair of lips touched her cheek, and she could feel the same flustering warmth returning to her face, spreading through her chest. Gosh, she hoped he hadn't left lip marks. A quick check in the rear view told her he did. She'd have to pay him back for that sometime.

They'd decided that Caleb would call her once it was over, as April had some work to attend to herself. Her own work building was a walking distance away, so she simply locked her car and left with crossed fingers.

Meanwhile, the woman behind the counter was courteous. He'd only had to wait about 10 minutes before his name was called. A woman who donned some lip shade that likely had 'Midnight' in the title ushered him inside a conference room. This one looked slightly more intimidating.

(Okay I have absolutely no idea what happens in an interview so I'll let you take it from here).
 
Caleb walked a bit nervously as he headed for the interview. There were three people in the room, sitting at a large table with paper in their hand. They motioned him to go sit in front of him. "Nervous?" A man asked with a gentle smile. Caleb nodded. "I can see that." He chuckled and put the papers down. "Dont worry about it, alright. We wont hurt you, we just want to have a look at you." He said. "My name is Damian Phillips. On my left Gregory Taylor. On my right Sasha Bennington." He said and Caleb held out his hand to greet them all. "We're just going to have a look at you today to see if you would be good enough as one of our models."

"Yes, a friend of your recommended you to us and since were in need of a fresh face, you could be perfect." Sasha said and stood up to walk over to Caleb. She grabbed his face and looked it over, running her fingers over his cheekbones, eyebrows and jaw. "Hmm." She hummed. "Some scars here and there, nothing proper make up can't fix, but a very firm face and skin." She said. Caleb had the face of a bad boy, the look of one too. "I bet half the women on the world would want your babies when they see your face on the cover." She spoke and went to sit back down as Gregory stood up.

"Alright handsome, let's take your clothes off." He said and went to undo Caleb's tie and shirt, wanting to see the body beneath. There were clearly signs that Caleb hadnt had the best lift judging by the scars, but the model agency quite like that actually. Who didnt love a model with a bit of a rough background. Better than being Mommy's or Daddy's perfect child who always got what he wanted. Caleb let the man touch him, not really minding since he was used to being touched by many in places he wasnt comfortable with. Caleb did jump when they suddenly grabbed his crotch through his pants. "It seems like we wont need photoshop for this either." Gregory smirked and winked at Caleb who was completely red in the face.

The interview went on for a good hours. They looked him over and took different foto's of him. Of his face of his body... go him in his underwear, they needed it all. As weird as the interview had gone, Caleb walked out the doors trying to contain his smile. Once he was out of the building, he was jumping all over the place and fist pumping the air. He had a job, a good paying job! He would have his first shoot on Friday, he couldnt believe it! Caleb quickly texted April, asking where she was. He couldnt wait to tell her!
 
April ruffled through her bag once she heard a ding. The entire time, whenever her phone made any indication of noise, she'd grab it in anticipation. Caleb? Weather alert. Caleb? New chapter. Caleb? CNN. Her eyes near boggled out of her skull when she looked at her phone, before typing back a quick 'I'm coming.' The work she'd been doing was simply clearing out her office, checking if she had any more appointments or clients waiting. Nothing new. She had been walking out of her office, balancing bag upon bag in her hands when she'd heard the ding. The rest of the employers could've sworn they saw something whoosh past in their peripheral.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh," April hummed, running through the few streets between her and Caleb with flying bags. When she saw him coming into view, she squealed, but quickly composed herself as she approached. Though, from the grin he looked to be trying to hide, she knew immediately. No doubt about it. April ran into his chest, arms and legs wrapping around him in a bear hug.

"You got it, didn't you?" She asked giddily. Before he could respond, she suddenly leaned in and planted about a dozen kisses on his cheek, leaving a good amount of lipstick marks coating his skin. Payback for back in the car. It seemed just, and April was most definitely a woman of justice. She smiled at him once her crusade of kisses was finished, and hopped off. A whistle was heard from a passing car, but April paid it no heed.
 
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