[Samuel x Roman]

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"Baby ..."

Roman's heart broke even more when Samuel started to tear up over this horrible thing that was happening. Roman himself had to swallow back tears and pinch the bridge of his nose before kissing his boyfriend on the top of the head and rubbing his back with the hand that wasn't carding through his hair reassuringly. He had no idea what to say because he couldn't relate to this situation. He couldn't relate to anything to do with dogs, except his fear of them.

But he absolutely needed to be there for Samuel. There was no doubt in his mind. They had been there for one another throughout the rest of the bullshit in their relationship and this would be no exception.

"I'll come with you," he said. "I'll be there for as long as you need me."
 
Samuel was trying really hard not to cry, refusing to sob in favour of taking deep breaths and focusing on Roman's reassuring touch to stop it. It didn't really work. Wath did pause the seemingly unstoppable flow of tears was Roman's offer to come with.

"No." Samuel said as firmly as he could muster in the situation and wiped away his tears again, "You don't need to come with"

It wasn't that he didn't want him there, Samuel was sure everything would be easier if Roman was there to hold his hand through it. It always was. But Samuel didn't want Roman to have to deal with his phobia, and him offering to do just that was enough. Samuel could go to him for comfort after... After-

Samuels own thought made him start crying again, and although a little softer this time he didn't have the energy to hold it back, so he hid is face against Romans' shoulder, sniffling into his shirt.

"This is enough" he managed to continue, but not without his voice breaking slightly. It was true, while he would need Roman to be able to go through this he'd be okay as long as he had Roman to hug and be comforted by at some point
 
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"No, I do need to come with you," Roman insisted. If it were Percy in Daisy's position, God forbid, Roman would most definitely want Samuel there while his beloved feline had to be put to sleep. Of course, this was different because Samuel didn't have a phobia of cats, but the same principle applied and Roman would be stubborn if he needed to be.

He continued to soothingly rub his boyfriend's back and shoulders, trying to find the right words to say. "You ... you're always worrying about me. Let me worry about you." Roman kissed his boyfriend on the top of the head and pulled back so they could look at one another properly.

"Don't worry about me and my phobia, I'll find a way around it. I'm not letting you go through this by yourself, babe, I'm coming with you. Okay?"
 
Samuel sniffled and dried his tears for the third time before just looking at Roman, the confliction over him telling Samuel he'd come with probably very present in his face. He didn't ever want to expose Roman to his fears but if how Samuel was feeling now was an indication of how he was going to be feeling then he knew he really would need his boyfriend there.

Before Roman he'd just cry out with Daisy, he had no idea what to do if he couldn't turn to either of them. But Roman was offering, so taking him up on it would be okay... Right?

Samuel didn't like it when Roman downplayed these kinds of things, it made it hard to know if he was going to agree to something his boyfriend couldn't actually handle. Because he was going to have to agree, even if Roman just waited outside, or sat in the car or whatever it would be better than not having him there at all, since he wouldn't be able to turn to Daisy in Romans absence this time.

Samuel felt his lip quiver as he tried to speak, threatening more tears he didn't want to let out so he took a deep breath before trying again

"Okay" It came out weak, so Samuel nodded slightly to reinforce the word "But you have to promise to tell me if it's too much, it's a phobia, Roman, that's serious so I'm gonna worry whether you like it or not"
 
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"I'll be sure to tell you," Roman promised, even though he knew that wasn't true. If he could help it, he'd stick out the entire thing because he needed to be there for Samuel. He needed to be there to support his boyfriend, as Samuel had been there to do for him for months now.

So, after school, Roman adamantly held Samuel's hand as they walked into the veterinary clinic. This was a sad place. In the waiting room, he managed to keep his eyes away from Daisy by staring out the window at a bird that was pecking away in the bushes outside the building. When the dog nudged his leg he winced but didn't say anything or react in any other way. His hand was clasped around Samuel's so tightly that he guessed the circulation was being cut off.

But he needed to be there for Samuel.
 
Roman was holding his hand so hard it hurt, but it didn't matter because the point was that he was holding it, he was there despite his fear. And it meant the world to Samuel, because without him he wouldn't have been able to make it through the rest of the day, or the walk into the clinic, or sitting in the waiting room for what simultaneously felt like forever and no time at all.

But Samuel still felt guilty about needing him there though, especially because he couldn't do anything to help Roman at that point, he couldn't pull him aside, and he couldn't pull Daisy aside either. He could just sit there and hold Romans hand.

And so Samuel didn't let go until after they had had a veterinarian come talk to them, lead them into the next room and offered them privacy to say goodbye to their pet. That's when he could let go, because the only ones in the room were Roman, Daisy and his mum, and it was okay if those three saw him break down. He didn't want to let go for Roman's sake, though, but he had to. He had to say goodbye to Daisy, had to sit down and hug her one last time.

Samuel didn't even notice the tears streaming down his face until the old dog made an effort to lick them away like she always did when he was crying, ever since she was a puppy and he was a kid. She didn't know why he was crying, she never did, only picking up on her owner's distress while trying to do something to make things better.

Samuel had felt a lot of negative feelings the past couple of months but this was just raw sadness. Nothing else, no guilt, no anger. It was just life and sometimes life was horrible. So Samuel continued to cry, his whole body shaking from sobs, as he buried his face in Daisy's short golden fur while his mother kneeled down next to him to gently pet his head in a futile attempt to make things better.
 
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Roman could not possibly relate to Samuel or feel the pain he was feeling, since this was not his dog and Roman had never felt an emotional connection to a dog before. However, he knew that if Percy were in Daisy's position, he would be overwhelmed with sadness. And he was already overwhelmed with sadness because Samuel was hurting more than Roman had ever seen the poor boy hurt.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as Samuel crouched down beside his dog and said his final goodbye. Roman choked up, since it killed him to see his beloved boyfriend in such a heavy state of despair. Roman felt that he wasn't doing enough to console Samuel. He wasn't really doing anything.

Roman forced himself to crouch down on the floor beside his boyfriend, wrap his arms around Samuel's shoulders and bury his face in the other's shoulder. He couldn't see Daisy that way and it helped a little. He only flinched slightly when the old dog licked his face, too. He was able to acknowledge how the dog was sweet, since, even though she was very ill and very sore, she just cared about the wellbeing of the humans in the room. Roman was horrified of them, but he was able to see that dogs were too good for the world.
 
When Roman came in to hug him Samuel was to distraught to really reflect much over how hard it must have been for his boyfriend to do something like that but he was happy he did it.

He kept his arms around the dog until she started to wriggle slightly out of confusion. Samuel didn't want to let go, if he did it would be for the last time. But he had to, even if he never would be ready for it. So he did, slowly and with shaky hands, giving her one last ruffle of her fur and kiss on her head while mumbling "I love you". When he stood up he dragged Roman with him and wrapped his arms around him instead.

"I think I need to go out" Samuel mumbled into Roman's chest. While he probably would regret not being there until Daisy's very last moment but he just couldn't be there while they did it, it was too much. He turned to his mother so it she could actually hear him properly when he asked, "Mum will you stay with her?"

"Of course sweetie" His mother nodded, her eyes were full of tears as well, she loved the dog as much as Samuel but she was a lot better at keeping herself together.

He left the room with Roman's hand in his and a quiet "Good bye, Daisy" to the confused and almost sad looking dog, which really didn't help the now slower but still constant flow of tears, to go out waiting in the parking lot.
 
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Roman managed to keep it together pretty well until he got outside with Samuel. He opened the car door, having attained the keys from Susan, and helped Samuel into the backseat. After closing the door, he leaned back against the seat of the car, pulled Samuel close to his chest and just stayed still, a perfectly solid and unwavering rock, for his boyfriend to cry on.

"Shh ..." Roman stroked Samuel's hair, rubbed his back, just did everything he could think of to do to help the situation at least a little. He was still running on adrenaline from the proximity to a large dog, and his heartbeat was audible.

But he ignored it. This was about Samuel.

"I ... I don't know if this helps, but, she won't be hurting anymore," Roman said gently.
 
Samuel nodded slowly and quietly, he wasn't sure if Roman's statement made things much better, but Samuel knew it was true, Daisy didn't deserve to suffer through the pain they couldn't do anything about because they couldn't afford it, just because Samuel needed her. Her not suffering anymore was better than the alternative, he had to remind himself of that.

It was in times like these Samuel wished he could go back to being a kid when he believed there more to life after one had passed. He decided today was a day he would stop caring about logic and just believe that Daisy was going to a better place to be happy and healthy again, it made it a little more bearable. But the fact still stood that he wasn't going to see her again. Ever. And Samuel was going to miss her more than anything.

And it wasn't just that he was going to miss her, life was going to become harder without her, she just made dealing with things much easier, she was always there when Samuel needed her, never judging, just supporting. But at least he wouldn't be alone since he had Roman now. Roman who was keeping him so close while he cried quietly.

With Samuel's head resting on Roman's chest he could feel how hard the other's heart was beating. Now when Daisy wasn't there and the crying had slowed down significantly Samuel was starting to realize how brave Roman had been, having been so close to the dog which had left him curled up and shaking after seeing for the first time.

Samuel wiped his tears and sniffled, he was sure they'd come back before he was even home again, but he needed to tell Roman how amazing he was.

"Thank you" he mumbled, voice thick from the crying, "I know it probably was hard, but you're so brave and I love you and this would have been so much worse without you"

It was still terrible, and it wasn't even really over yet, but at least Roman was there to hold him.
 
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A week or two had passed since Daisy had passed away. Roman had a surprise for Samuel.

He didn't know if Samuel would like his surprise, nor did he know if it was the right thing to do. It was so soon after Samuel'a beloved pet had passed away. Would he be upset? Would he think that Roman was trying to replace the larger dog too quickly?

He didn't know. But he was going to try.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now," Roman said to his boyfriend as they entered the back yard of the Hemlock household.

Down at Roman's feet sat a tiny cocker spaniel puppy with the traditional tan and white fur, curly ears and a small, wagging tail. She was absolutely adorable, and was looking up at Samuel delightedly.

"I already asked your mum, she said it was okay."
 
The next couple of weeks were pretty rough for Samuel, going home felt weird knowing he wouldn't be greeted with happy barks and tail wags and beeing sad was horrible when he couldn't curl up in his bed with the warmth of Daisy next to him. But Roman was there for him, stopping him from getting as bad as he had gotten after the trial despite being sadder. Despite missing Daisy so much it hurt.

Samuel hadn't at all been sure what he had been expecting when Roman had told him he had a surprise for him those couple of weeks later, but it certainly hadn't been expecting to open his eyes to see a dog. At first, he just stared at the little creature, trying to process what was going on. Then he turned his head to Roman, then back to the dog then back to Roman.

"Are you serious? Is this for real?" Samuel asked his brown eyes wide with both surprise and excitement, Roman didn't get any time to answer before the dog grabbed Samuel's attention by yipping happily, though. Samuel had to put a hand to his mouth to stifle a very unmanly gasp, and decided he needed to sit down and pet it, so he did, pulling Roman down with him.

"Hello" he greeted the dog sweetly, holding out a hand for it to sniff. She just licked it happily not at all wary around the stranger, he turned to his boyfriend with an excited expression, as if the ask if he just saw how cute that had been and moved his hand to pet the little dog.

"Oh my god, Roman" he exclaimed when he felt how soft the fur was, voice breaking a little because suddenly Samuel had to fight back tears that were dangerously close to spilling over.

Had Daisy's death not been so recent Samuel probably wouldn't have cried, but now things were overwhelming and he had had trouble keeping back tears over the smallest of things ever since it happened, which was probably getting annoying by now. But he just couldn't stop himself, the little puppy's fur was so fluffy and it was so cute and excited and it filled Samuel with so much happiness while also reminding him off how much he missed Daisy.
 
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Roman was absolutely delighted to see that Samuel was excited to see the puppy he had purchased for him. He smiled and nodded broadly when he asked if this was real and happily sunk to the ground with him. An arm draped around Samuel's shoulders, he watched as the adorable little creature sniffed and met her new owner, and his smile widened with every positive reaction Samuel gave.

Apparently, Roman had done well.

If Samuel hadn't been so excited and happy upon meeting the curly-eared canine, Roman would have worried about the tears threatening to spill over, but instead he knew there was happiness behind those tears. And he didn't blame Samuel for being emotional. If Percy had died and Samuel had purchased Roman a new kitten, he would have been blubbering all over the place, no matter how hard he would try to keep it together. There was simply certain things that warranted certain emotional responses, and the meeting of a new pet was one of them.

"Blake's dog had puppies," Roman informed his boyfriend, also reaching out a long and slender hand to pet the precious creature. The dog yipped in delight from all the attention she was receiving from the two humans and rolled onto her back so they had access to her soft and vulnerable belly. The trust of animals would always be an interesting phenomenon to Roman.

"And she's all yours." Roman kissed Samuel on the cheek and laid his head on his shoulder. "But only if you agree to call her Lady after the doggo from Lady and the Tramp."
 
Samuel wiped the tears, he wanted to enjoy this moment with the puppy without being too sad over Daisy. The little dog wasn't going to replace his best friend of over ten years and Samuel knew he would have been nagging Roman about getting a dog as soon as they moved out anyways so this was just kind of a head start on that part of their lives.

He paused the attention he was giving Lady to give his boyfriend some instead. He wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly, he sniffled and felt the burning tears in his eyes fade a little, the closeness to Roman making all the emotions bearable. But he wasn't hugging him for the emotional comfort this time, he was hugging him as a silent thank you and I love you.

When he was done squishing Roman in the hug he went straight back to petting the dog, who was waiting for more love from the two boys.

"Did you hear that? Roman demands your name to be Lady" he asked the puppy who didn't even react, too busy enjoying belly rubs. Samuel liked the name, it was adorable and it was Romans idea so it would remind Samuel of him "so that's your name now, Lady"

Roman had referred to her as all Samuel's, but Samuel was honestly more excited about the fact that they would be able to share this experience. Roman wasn't scared of her because she was small, and she was going to stay small and they were going to have so much fun together. He loved dogs, he loved his boyfriend, this was going to be awesome.

"All of us can go for walkies now," Samuel said as he continued to rub the dog's little belly, the excitement in his voice still very clear, "and we can teach her cute tricks, and she and Percy are going to be adorable together"
 
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Roman very happily accepted the affection that he received from his boyfriend and made sure to reciprocate with some of his own. He gave the other a gentle but firm hug, and a kiss to the cheek. He was delighted that Samuel liked the surprise Roman had given him, but he was more happy that Samuel was slightly less sad than what he had been before.

"Yay," he said when Samuel said they could call the small canine the name he had suggested. Roman kissed his boyfriend on the cheek again and offered his hand to Lady to sniff. The little dog instead nuzzled up against his fingers and climbed onto Roman's knee. She then made the small leap to Samuel's and it was the cutest thing Roman had ever seen in his life.

"Speaking of Percy." The fat cat had arrived on the scene an was peering at the dog over Roman's knee, as if to investigate the situation before giving his final verdict. Lady sighted the cat and gave a small yip of greeting. Percy jumped away in fright.
 
Samuel laughed a little at Percy's reaction to what in his opinion really was the most adorable sound ever.

"Noo" Samuel whined with a small chuckle accompanying, "Don't be scared, look at how small and cute she is"

He grabbed the little puppy gently and held her up closer to the cat. Lady didn't seem to mind and just continued wagging her tail, very curious about the other animal. Curious enough to let out another ridiculously cute little yip which didn't seem to improve the wary cat's impression of her.

Samuel pouted but he knew cats usually needed to be the one to approach a new dog first so he put Lady back in his lap and kept on petting her fur to make her stay and not spook Percy again, although it had been very silly and cute.

"Roman, tell him he gotta be friends with his baby step-sister" he joked "It is crucial to this family that they get along"
 
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Roman laughed, picked up his cat and gently placed the fluffy creature in front of his boyfriend and the little puppy. "Percy," Roman said sternly, but reassuringly rubbed his pet's back to calm him down. "You need to get along with your baby sister. Please. For Daddy?"

Percy very carefully crept forward, looking at the puppy warily. Lady wriggled until Samuel let her go and sat on the ground, panting as she curiously looked up at the unfamiliar creature. Percy lowered himself down to Lady's eye level and flicked his tail as he assessed the small doggy.

"I think --"

Before Roman could declare to Samuel that he thought Percy and Lady were getting along, Percy hissed at the dog, jumped away and ran into the bushes. Lady scrambled back into Samuel's knees in fright and whimpered, scared by the cat's hostile actions.

"Okay. We'll work on that."
 
After being scared Samuel gave the little puppy some comforting petting until her tail started wagging and she seemed happy and content again, which only took a couple of seconds it seemed. He still laughed a little at the two animal's interaction.

"yeah" Samuel said and leaned slightly against his boyfriend, "they'll become friends eventually"

The two little balls of fluff had plenty of time to get to know each other, but Samuel kind off hoped they would soon. Simply because he thought it would be adorable.

"I mean, they have to if they're gonna live with each other in like half a year" he continued with a light chuckle as he imagined how silly it'd be if they kept being scared of each other.
 
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Another reminder that sooner rather than later, Roman would be living with Samuel in the city and they'd be starting the next chapter in their lives. He couldn't wait. It was July, meaning it was only about six months until they moved to Melbourne for university or art school and they'd escape this suffocating small town.

Lady yipped at Roman and climbed onto his knee. Roman picked up the small creature, kissed her on the snout and the top of the head and let her lick his face. "You're precious," he crooned, before handing her back to her proper owner.

"So I take it you like her."
 
"No, " Samuel said sarcastically, but he couldn't stifle his smile because seeing his boyfriend interact with the small animal was the most precious thing in his opinion, he continued in a much sweeter tone, more directed to the dog, "I love her"

Lady yipped happily, although not understanding what he had said it made Samuel smile even wider because her response was absolutely adorable.

"It's been kind of weird not having a dog around," he said more seriously while still not turning the attention from the puppy, "I dunno how to describe it, but like, it's been routine to go out for walks and get home to pour up food and things like that for the past ten years, not doing it has been kind of depressing, so I guess this will be a good thing?"

Samuel was partially just trying to justify his current happiness. Part of him felt slightly guilty, like he should wait with getting another dog, and he probably would have waited if Roman hadn't decided to surprise him with Lady. But Samuel was glad he had, she was cute and it made him feel all warm inside to see her tumbling around and jumping between their laps.
 
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