Rant Your Brains Out #298726927

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I am so fucking tired of trying to please everyone, yet failing them AND myself. I've come to the final realization that I hate classrooms, if not school altogether, so long ago.

So fuck all this. I wanna go to a tech school. If boyfriend doesn't like it, he can just pack his shit and leave to be with his parents that have high expectations. I don't need anymore of this bullshit that I used to get CONSTANTLY from my step-dad.

I want to be a veterinary technician, dammit. I'd even settle for assistant certification! If you can't be proud or supportive, then GTFO and STFU. *kicks a random civilian off of a cliff*
 
The worst part is that you forgot in fifteen minutes, where I'm going to be pissed off for days. So then you just think I'm being bitchy instead of realizing you hurt my feelings TWICE in one day. And if I make a big deal about it, you're just going to say I'm like my mother, and if I don't say anything, I'm just going to continue to simmer forever. Awesome.
 
so. queit calm is fleeting. why must i be so angry all the time. and tired. FUCK.
 
Sleep deprived. Grossly sick. Need to get on the bus in like 15 minutes for classes I don't like. Have work later. Need to take kitty to the vet. Cold, rainy and dark outside.

It's Monday...

Unhappy. v__v
 
Sometimes my paranoia kicks in and I think people secretly hate me. c____c I hate it when it happens at random and without a trigger, cause it makes me feel like a psycho.

Please don't hate me... t______t
 
Give me one damned good reason why anyone would hate you Diana.

Cuz I haven't found one.

**********************

DAMMIT SICKNESS! LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!
 
*simply cries and laughs at the same time* I really hate mondays right now...
 
I'm sick of people who are only a few years older than me, telling me that I'm so young, naive, dumb and have so much to learn. They don't know everything I've gone through, and don't even know me that well to begin with! I AM NOT A GAWDAMN CHILD. YOU DO NOT SOUND THAT SMART TO ME.

So shut the fuck up.

The real adults of my friends and family at least tell me I'm wise beyond my years... I sometimes wish I wasn't...
 
Fluffy, do I need to come to Washington with a shotgun? I still have three weeks of leave left.
 
Freaking piled up snow debris at the edge of my driveway from the damn city street plowers being harder than Wolverine's middle finger! Next time I'm going to lay chunks of rebar down, so the fucker flips his damn truck.
 
FREAKING SNOW!
YOU ALMOST MADE ME HIT SOMEONE TODAY WITH YOUR DEMENTED BROTHER, BLACK ICE!
FOR NOW, WE ARE IN A FIGHT.
I DON'T LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW.
 
AAARGGGHHHH I fucking hate this guy and his wife! But I would hate to un-friend a dude I actually like and is a family friend, just cause I don't wanna see their stupid names replying to all his messages anymore. D:<
 
so over the past few days we got floods like a motherfucker.

shit is sucking majorly with australias weather right now.
 
There are some nights when playing the role of an insomniac just bites.
 
right. this is day three of black mood week. raging at nothing and feeling depressed. FUCK YOU EMOTIONS. JUST FUCK OFF AND LET ME WORK.
 
...so I'm kind of pissed. Had an interview today and pretty much got written off. It last about fifteen minutes. I'm tempted to storm back in tomorrow and ask for someone competent to review my qualifications. And if not, well, why not cause a show the whole world could enjoy?
 
Stupid nightmares. Stupid irony. Stupid insomnia. Stupid therapist. Stupid school. Stupid... Everything.

Never thought I'd be back to the nights of crying myself to sleep. How fucking pathetic I am.
 
Gawdammit.

I got up early today to take a fucking math test. I woke up at 6:30 am, rolled around in bed until 7, shoved down a quick meal at 710, and was on the road 7:30. I got here on time at eight....

and then I realized the slip that allowed me to take that test.....


WAS AT HOME.

Now I'm going to have to take it tomorrow, ON SATURDAY. Or monday, which I really don't want to have to do.

DAMMIT MATH.
 
Yeah, math is the bane of my existence too.

DAMN YOU MATHEMATICS!!! DAMN YOU!!!!!

EDIT: God fucking dammit... The dog, who has shown a penchant for chewing anything he can get a hold of, chewed through the weather proofing I had on the backyard spigot. Not only that he dug up around the pipe, exposing it to the elements. So now I have to drain a mini swamp and dig to gain access to wherever the fucking pipe burst...
 
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