Random Socially Inappropriate Thoughts You Have

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Levusti, Nov 25, 2014.

  1. Sometimes, you just get these weird ideas--ones you KNOW are just absolutely inappropriate. Everyone of you guise has one--DON'T DENY IT!

    As for me, sometimes when I'm the grocery store and I see an employee restocking shelves, I just wanna run and knock off EVERYTHING on the shelf.

    When I go into fitting rooms, I have a weird desire to start screaming "WHERE'S THE TOILET PAPER?!"

    When I was a waiter, I would sometimes wonder what would happen if I threw the food into a customer's face. I didn't have to be mad at them or at anyone or in a bad mood. I just wanted to sometimes.

    When I'm watching someone in line at a fast food restaurant get food, I just wanna take their food away and start eating it RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR FACES.

    If I a hot beverage in my hand like coffee or tea, I wonder what it would be like to just...splash it on someone.

    In the entrance to a busy store, I have a strange idea to just fake a heart attack in front of all those people.

    When I hear someone REALLY important (like my boss or my parents' bosses) is on the phone who calls me and asks who they're speaking to, I want to reply, "Jennifer Lopez." in my DEEPEST, GRUFFEST, RASPIEST voice.


    So...What kind of socially inappropriate thoughts do you get?
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  2. When I pick up the phone, I sometimes want to say, "I've been waiting for this moment."

    I wasn't actually waiting.

    But if I get a reaction, I would totally just run with it.
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  3. I want to trip everyone. All the time. And I get extreme urges to just break stuff. I like to sit down in the middle of the floor in public places sometimes, and I want to touch strangers' hair if I think it looks cool. :|
  4. I dont know why, but women keep wanting to touch my hair, especially after i buzzed it down and gave it a week to grow out again

    it evidently naturally turns into shounen hair before becoming an asian afro in 2 months

    at any rate, i've kept myself occupied by counting the number of unique people touch my head

    i'm up to 63

    my wife went like 0______o
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  5. I believe these are called Intrusive thoughts, involuntary thoughts that can either be aggressive or sexual in an inappropriate manner. I'd suggest looking it up, research and all yo.
  6. i suggest acting on them

    because it would be hilarious
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  7. Sometimes I feel like sitting in a chair wearing chainmail and a cape while I say "Welcome to my castle" In my deeper, more menacing voice, every time I have a friend over.

    Also... since I have the codec ringtone from the Metal Gear series... I just want to say "This is Snake" whenever I answer a phone call. I usually tend to try and Impersonate David Hayter, with little success..
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  8. i had the same ring tone. it was awesome.
  9. It's pretty great! ^^ I'm totally going to try the "I've been waiting for this moment" thing now though XD.
  10. Okay, on the topic of saying stuff on the phone, there's this guy who runs a wine tasting class my dad attends, and he likes to call our house (very often) to schedule stuff, instead of calling my dad's cell phone. Even if we tell him our dad's not home, he'll call right again after like five minutes and ask for him again. So, needless to say, the rest of us in the family get quite fed up with it, and on several occasions I've wanted to scream stuff at him like "HE'S NOT HERE, GODDAMNIT!", but I've always contained myself. Apart from this one time. I was sick, my voice was all dark and scratchy (more than usually), and it was around noon, a time of day my naturally wouldn't be at home because of work. Nevertheless, the guy called anyway, and again and again, despite me telling him my dad wouldn't come home until way later. So about the sixth time he called I got fed up, picked up the phone, made my voice even darker and scarier than it was, and said "Seven days...". He didn't call us again that week.

    Anyway, whenever I see a really hot person, I get the urge to just throw myself at them and scream "TAKE ME!" o__o

    Sometimes in public, I get a strange feeling and start wondering what would happen if I just stabbed or punched someone...

    Also, a strange thing which I unfortunately already do, is whenever I think of something embarrassing I did a while ago I start singing or making loud noises in order to get the thoughts to go away... Which results in even more awkward situations >_>
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  11. Sometimes I just want to walk up to the nearest conservative old person and just start shouting every single sexual thing I can think of. (Sex, Vagina, Penis, et cetera.) Then when they get angry at me, just go "WHY ARE YOU ASHAMED OF MY GLORIOUS HUMAN BODY, IT WAS MADE IN GOD'S IMAGE, WHY DO WE COVER IT UP?!"

    I mean, I'm sure it'd get me arrested, but it'd be an amusing arrest.
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  12. I urge you to act on the urge to throw yourself at hot people.

    I will film it on my phone and laugh.

    Then show it to everyone on Iwaku.

    And then I'd wish you all the happiness in the world as your ride your hot person like a wild stallion.
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  13. The only thing funnier is being arrested by Canadian mounties
  14. I blame tumblr for this due to a post I saw a while ago, but whenever I meet someone attractive I quickly wonder what they sound like moaning and it makes for a lot of one way awkwardness <_< Like are you quiet and breathy? Loud as fuck? Deep voice? High voice? I dunno!
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  15. I have so many intrusive thoughts. My most recent one is when my brother bought funnel cake at a carnival and started to lick the powder off. He said it tastes good and yeah, my head spinned with some pretty inappropriate statements. I can't remember, though. It may or may not be obvious what I thought about.
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  16. The urges I get usually involve self harm. >_>

    Like, sometimes I get the urge to jump out of a moving car, which would probably be rather painful.... and fatal.

  17. 0_____0




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  18. I have many plans to dress up in various costumes and run amok in my community:
    -Dress as a Ninja and just sit silently in the bushes next to a busy sidewalk.
    -Go to the local bars dressed as a pirate "looking for a crew."
    -Pretty much anything in full plate armor.
    -Wear a cape and pretend nothing is unusal about it.
    -Run down a street screaming while in a straight-jacket.

    There is one major project I might actually do sometime. The town of Freedom, WI lies near me. I want to dress up as Willian Wallace and stand next to the "Freedom: 1 Mile" sign.
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  20. Seeing that this will be next to a highway, I think the sight of cops confronting me would only add to the awesomeness.