Puella Magi Madoka Magica - When Life Gives You Lemons...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Also I'd recommend bringing him down an age so he could fit in easier with the cast and thus you'd probably know Rosalyn Peterson from class
 
VanceXentan said:
He seems to have a darker tone to his childhood so red or purple or some other dark shade of a color would be optimal for his soul gem. His weapon would probably be some sort of longer to medium range weapon as he keeps people from a distance from himself. His outfit would probably be something a bit bulkier than the average magical girl clothes but not by that much since it would be odd after all the girls in the show usually wear light clothes but that's up to you.
Click to expand...
I just realized what I did and then saw this post, he would probably be better at black magic then light magic. Wait would it be wrong for him to use darker magic or is that only for the witches. Or are his powers fine. Do you want a picture of the soul ??
 
Witches are essentially (spoiler alert for anyone reading this) are magical girls who have given up hope. His powers need to be violent to deal with witches or else he is a purely back up character. He can't use 'darker magic' because then he wouldn't be a magical boy who has hope in his life he'd be a witch.

You're going to need a hook in there that makes him eligible for a magical boy spot or else Kyubey won't be able to do much with him at all. You may want to reconsider your character but it is your character so I won't tell you how to make him but that won't stop me from not accepting him if he doesn't fit the group or pre-established canon rules.
 
No such thing as black and white Magic in PMMM
If you haven't seentot YOURE in for a ride:P
 
Also, if you wanna get together an talk about your character knowing Rosalyn I'm game ^^
 
Don't forget to keep working on your own character before you include him in the bio or anything Magus.
 
Just figured I'd say something. People tend to get wrapped up in the moment and next thing they know they've done something didn't think about before hand.
 
VanceXentan said:
Just figured I'd say something. People tend to get wrapped up in the moment and next thing they know they've done something didn't think about before hand.
Click to expand...
So what are you're thoughts on him now, I haven't checked my spelling in fear of having to change a bunch.
 
Besides Grammar I have to admit your story took a turn for the creepy midway through the story and I don't see how a budding teenager would be in a situation that involved alcohol and quite frankly the story became a bit too romantic/sexual. Please tone it down a bit there dude.

Your abilities are also in question...quite frankly everyone of them:

Healing is nigh pointless since all magical boys and girls can do that.

Divination quite frankly doesn't work in most cases unless it's used by a GM as it gives away plot points and or can be easily abused.

Summoning is in question as no magical girl has even summoned a magical being especially sentient. Mami's muskets were one shot per use and they weren't sentient.

Weapons enchanting: You're granted all the elements while everyone is just made specific to one elemental type? Nope. The only people I can really compare him to so far is the energy wielder Peter, my character, who uses light as his element. And Magus's character who straight up is only able to use lightning to augment her lance. So we already have a lightning user which makes your character somewhat of a third wheel.

Weaknesses also don't make sense:

There are no gods in Madoka Magica outside of Madoka herself. Kyubey somehow has the power to grant wishes but they apparently aren't some sort of divine power as they can't control Madoka after her wish.

Immoral magic would be things along the line of Necromancy, stealing people's souls, and or magic that is made to flat out made to hurt people all skills attributed to witches and not usable by your own character.

Your finisher ability is also broken as it pretty much guarantees a kill no matter how strong the witch is. Mami's finisher in episode 3 didn't kill the witch which came back to bite her.


In short your character is completely in need of a revamp as it is and I will not accept it by any means until a lot of these issues are fixed.
 
VanceXentan said:
Besides Grammar I have to admit your story took a turn for the creepy midway through the story and I don't see how a budding teenager would be in a situation that involved alcohol and quite frankly the story became a bit too romantic/sexual. Please tone it down a bit there dude.

Your abilities are also in question...quite frankly everyone of them:

Healing is nigh pointless since all magical boys and girls can do that.

Divination quite frankly doesn't work in most cases unless it's used by a GM as it gives away plot points and or can be easily abused.

Summoning is in question as no magical girl has even summoned a magical being especially sentient. Mami's muskets were one shot per use and they weren't sentient.

Weapons enchanting: You're granted all the elements while everyone is just made specific to one elemental type? Nope. The only people I can really compare him to so far is the energy wielder Peter, my character, who uses light as his element. And Magus's character who straight up is only able to use lightning to augment her lance. So we already have a lightning user which makes your character somewhat of a third wheel.

Weaknesses also don't make sense:

There are no gods in Madoka Magica outside of Madoka herself. Kyubey somehow has the power to grant wishes but they apparently aren't some sort of divine power as they can't control Madoka after her wish.

Immoral magic would be things along the line of Necromancy, stealing people's souls, and or magic that is made to flat out made to hurt people all skills attributed to witches and not usable by your own character.

Your finisher ability is also broken as it pretty much guarantees a kill no matter how strong the witch is. Mami's finisher in episode 3 didn't kill the witch which came back to bite her.


In short your character is completely in need of a revamp as it is and I will not accept it by any means until a lot of these issues are fixed.
Click to expand...
Huff the only way I'm gonna get this right is if I literally binge watch this anime. Witch I'll start working on tonight. I'm gonna scrap oliver and work on a new character once I know more.
 
More or less boss. I'm not trying to be an ass but your character as he is now simply doesn't make much sense and doesn't fit the feel I'm going for this roleplay. Do as you will.
 
ViceandVersa said:
Huff the only way I'm gonna get this right is if I literally binge watch this anime. Witch I'll start working on tonight. I'm gonna scrap oliver and work on a new character once I know more.
Click to expand...
While it's only 12 episodes and definitely worth the watch, a way to make it easy is to just keep the powers simple. In fact, a certain character's aside most of the powers are fairly undefined, the weapon being their most recognizable characteristics.

VanceXentan said:
Weapons enchanting: You're granted all the elements while everyone is just made specific to one elemental type? Nope. The only people I can really compare him to so far is the energy wielder Peter, my character, who uses light as his element. And Magus's character who straight up is only able to use lightning to augment her lance. So we already have a lightning user which makes your character somewhat of a third wheel.
Click to expand...
Oh. I gave my character light powers, but the way ours work seem to be different. Yours is just the finisher while mine is entirely based on it. Is that fine or should I change it?
 
Well our character utilize two very different styles of fighting. My guy is a solid wall and striker while you're more into other uses revolving around that book. Personally I don't see much value in your style but it's fine as it is (As far as I can tell) I'd personally go for a different style of combat maybe a crossbow or something but again it's your character.
 
VanceXentan said:
Well our character utilize two very different styles of fighting. My guy is a solid wall and striker while you're more into other uses revolving around that book. Personally I don't see much value in your style but it's fine as it is (As far as I can tell) I'd personally go for a different style of combat maybe a crossbow or something but again it's your character.
Click to expand...
It's a very utility based thing. I was thinking about changing it cause it might either be OP or too weak depending on the limits placed on it. The idea was adaptability, using pages to form barriers, strike, etc.

I might switch to a more conventional weapon, anyway.
 
As I said it's all on you at the moment. I won't say much unless you say you're finished.
 
Dude if you want to be versed In It watch the movies, they cover everything and take less time.
 
@VanceXentan
I redid Rosalyn's history, hope you like it, and I can omit the last part if it conflicts with anything.

And to expand on the idea of her control on electricity, she's a veteran, so the feats she can accomplish with it are on par with Mami and her ribbons (Rebellion Mami anyway)

I mean if it's okay, I don't want to head the wrong direction with that ability.
 
It looks good as it is though I'd have her be out in the country side unless you intend to know the other magi veteran who will be acting as our 'mentor/guide' in New York.

Also if you don't mind I'd appreciate it if you turned the link into an image or at least made it a proper link.
 
VanceXentan said:
It looks good as it is though I'd have her be out in the country side unless you intend to know the other magi veteran who will be acting as our 'mentor/guide' in New York.

Also if you don't mind I'd appreciate it if you turned the link into an image or at least made it a proper link.
Click to expand...
She's not very social is why I put in that last part. Even if she knows the face of another Magi, she won't necessarily know the other Magi. I'd imagine the start of the roleplay will have some sort of event that'll force her to be social, if not that's fine. She might have a reputation for showing up, killing a witch, and subsequently disappearing without so much as a word... if that's okay ;-; I wanna please Vance Senpai.

And I wasn't aware the link wasn't opening.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom
Back