Million Dollars, But...

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

You receive a million dollars, and it and all the rest of your savings, money, and significant capital investments (see house and car) are converted into a single large shipment of gold, delivered to your house. Twelve hours after the gold arrives at your front door, immense caches of gold are uncovered all over the world, rendering the metal commonplace. By twenty-four hours after your shipment arrived, all of your gold is rendered worthless, making you broke.

So, essentially, you have somewhere between twelve and twenty-four hours to make use of that gold, or you'll be even poorer than you were to start off with.

For one, transporting gold is hard. Not that I have much money outside the million, and I'll have to loan my mom's car or something, so there's that.

Also, if gold suddenly became commonplace, have you got any idea what that would do to the world's economy?! ...I have no idea, you?

A million dollars but your computer gets a virus that posts a terrible, misspelled and incorrectly used meme to every single social media you're on, and in a private message to everyone you're in a way connected to in said social media.

 

[Mu]

Sure, why not.

A million dollars but every time you forget something it disappears forever.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

*slams fists into table* No way! Nope! Though, having my responsibilities disappear... NO! Not at all! AAhaahauhauhauugh!

A million dollars, but every time a thread gets a new post that you don't read within one hour, you recieve a bill of ten thousand dollars.

 

[Mu]

rofl fuck no.

A million dollars but school for life.

 

[foodforpigs]

sure. school is easy mode.

a million dollars but you lose your imagination.

 

[Fox of Spades]

Noooo, if I had no imagination I wouldn't be able to spend the money on fun things D:

A million dollars but you can never eat again (you won't die tho xD)

 

[☆Luna☆]

Noooo, if I had no imagination I wouldn't be able to spend the money on fun things D:

A million dollars but you can never eat again (you won't die tho xD)

Wouldn't do it.

A million dollars, but everyone knows what you look like undressed.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

So basically the equivalent of having a nude leaked. Uhm. I'm going to go with 'No' here. Money can't buy social reputation.

A million dollars, but everything you've made, assembled, or otherwise applied some sort of creativity into, is permanently removed from existence, and everyone's memories but yours.

 

[☆Luna☆]

So basically the equivalent of having a nude leaked. Uhm. I'm going to go with 'No' here. Money can't buy social reputation.

A million dollars, but everything you've made, assembled, or otherwise applied some sort of creativity into, is permanently removed from existence, and everyone's memories but yours.

If it works the way I think, that means I'd lose my friends. So no.

A million dollars, but you lose your ability to read. (you are allowed to relearn)

 

[Mu]

No, I'm too lazy.

A million dollars but you are now the 'Chosen One' with no plot armor in a weird fantasy world.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

Oh. I'd normally have to consider the world first, but I feel risky. Yes.

A million dollars, but everytime you see a water bottle, you feel a strong urge to go and hold it upside down.

 

[☆Luna☆]

Oh. I'd normally have to consider the world first, but I feel risky. Yes.

A million dollars, but everytime you see a water bottle, you feel a strong urge to go and hold it upside down.

That would be rude to people drinking from water bottles.

A million dollars, but a den of giant spiders(5 feet tall) forms under your home, it follows you if you move.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

And they come up occasionally. Kind of screams 'Nope' to me, though something in me wants the adventure. Sorrow-spiders don't have anything on me.

Wait, can I move to over a large cavern, with various pits of lava or something? Huehue, plot holes.

A million dollars, but all spiders in your country grow to the size of a cat and start eating the eyes of humans, and rats gain intelligence just below humans.

 

[Mu]

This is Australia, so no.

A million dollars but everywhere you go it will rain spiders.

 

[foodforpigs]

Auto-yes. I will use the curse to my advantage, wearing a leather and plastic clothing combination so spiders can't bite me. Then I'll surround myself with large, active grills. As the spiders rain on them, they will cook. I will locally solve the hunger problem in impoverished villages. If the world so rejects my methods, I will become a supervillian unlike the world has ever faced. I will seek to create as many spider lairs as possible, hiring scientists to genetically mutate the spiders that rain upon me into bigger and more deadlier monstrosities.

A million dollars but you have vivid dreams of being murdered every single night, from the victim's perspective.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

Team Sanity... Or Team Money... Yeah, I've got my priorities. Pass.

A million dollars, but they are in a very local currency that goes bankrupt in three hours, after which they're worthless.

 

[Holmishire]

A million dollars, but they are in a very local currency that goes bankrupt in three hours, after which they're worthless.

I see no downside here. It's not like I lose anything by accepting the million.

A million dollars, but you will work as a dishwasher eight hours a day for the rest of your life, with no vacations, weekends, or sick days.

 

[Mu]

No, thanks.

A million dollars but no more hot foods for the rest of your life.

 

[IntrusivePenDesperateSword]

There are good cold foods.

A million dollars, but you must survive on an island for four years, only accompanied by a large (friendly) spider and a nonsensical old man.

 

[Holmishire]

A million dollars, but you must survive on an island for four years, only accompanied by a large (friendly) spider and a nonsensical old man.

I already live on an island! HA!

Still, I have to say no. I'm assuming that I cannot interact with anyone except my two companions—and they the same. Despite living a block away from a grocery store, it is of little use if I cannot be seen with the cashier, no?

A million dollars in cash, but every full moon you lose half of your assets—money included. Though you may decide which assets to lose. (The half is calculated by dollar value. For example, if you had already started off with a million dollar house, you could do one of three things at the end of the month: lose the house, lose the million dollars in cash, or lose half of each. Assuming you hadn't spent anything yet, of course.)