Migma

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Jexel opened his eyes slowly and sleepily, only partially aware of Isabelle's kisses across his neck as he awakened. The night before was amazing, with no rush to their love, and no time constraint to the morning. Stretching out his arms, he gave a grand yawn that forced his mouth open wider than anyone had seen before. His fangs glimmered, showing at their full length and sharpness how much of a cat he was, and his ears shivered to warm up again. He gave a faint smile as Isabelle continued to kiss him, happy with the position he was in. "Uugghhh... I can see why you like to stay in bed..." He said, curling himself up into a ball and purring like a motor-boat in response to her touch. Another yawn and a couple of blinks to clear the debris from his eyes, and he was completely awake once more. Shifting his position to face Isabelle, he pulled her close, one paw on her hip and one on the base of her head, drawing her in for a lengthy kiss. "Looks like we might have stayed up a bit late..." He chuckled after their kiss, his eyes aglow in awe of the woman beside him.
 
Isabelle enjoyed the feel of Jexel's touch on her bare skin as he pulled her body towards him and into a long passionate kiss. "Yes, we did and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love this...it feels right you know...the way things should be...always" she said as she snuggled close to him. Opening her eyes wide in excitement she said, "Oh! I know...breakfast in bed! Wouldn't that be great? I could whip us up something really yummy for breakfast...well brunch, then afterwards we can practice magic. This day will be great! I'll get right on it!" she exclaimed excitingly. She was so happy to be having this time with Jexel she had forgotten what had happened to her just the day before. When she attempted to get out of the bed, she fell to the floor, legs still unable to bear her weight. The fall made Isabelle's high come crashing down as she was reminded again of her limitations. She remained on the floor for a second before tears started to come down again, "So much for being normal. I can't even get up to make you breakfast...I'm...useless." she said through her tears, letting her head hang low, "Day 1...failed."
 
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"Oh, come here you..." Jexel sighed, reaching from the bed to lift Isabelle comfortably beside him once more. As he embraced her tightly, he spoke. "Shhh, you still have another day of recovery. I don't want to hear you talking like that ever again, alright?" Jexel spoke sternly, but with compassion to back it up. Every time he saw her collapse, it was just a reminder that he was the one who caused it, and it made him sick. Sick of his weakness of will, and sick of his indecisiveness. Still amid the thoughts in his mind was the constantly wrestling idea that leaving Isabelle would be best. It made him shudder just to think about it. Drying her tears with his paw, he continued. "When you say those things, it just sounds like you're trying to convince me to leave... Neither of us want that, so stop talking like that...please..." Jexel held her tightly once more, his heart pounding in his chest and his eyes becoming watery. Nothing hurt him more than seeing Isabelle this way.
 
Jexel lifted Isabelle up from the floor and on to the bed beside him effortlessly as if she weighed absolutely nothing to him. He held her tightly, comforting her and drying her tears. Isabelle stood in his arms for a little while, until her sobs dissipated. Pulling away, she leaned over the bed to grab her clothes and started to dress herself, top half of herself first, then bottom, bringing up her underwear and pants as high as she could bring them herself, "Can you help me please? I almost got it all the way up but I can't lift my hips." she said with frustration. Her sadness was starting to turn into anger, anger at her situation, anger at her inabilities, anger at herself. Jexel calmly and lovingly helped her finish dressing but it did nothing to lighten her mood. "I'm hungry, please take me to the kitchen." she asked him. Once he had dressed himself, he carried her out of the room and into the kitchen area where Regina was preparing something.
"Hey! How are you?!" she asked towards Isabelle with a quick glance to Jexel, "Hi."
Isabelle didn't answer her, with a frown on her face she gestured to her legs.
"Oh...well you still have one more day, so don't lose hope just yet. I made breakfast this morning but you guys slept in so...how about lunch? How's a nice warm ham and cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo sandwich for you? It's one of your favorites!" Regina was trying desperately to appease Isabelle, to make her forget about her legs, to make her happy. She felt terrible that she had not been able to help her friend more, she wanted to take away her pain and give her the ability to walk again but it was beyond her control. "Oh...I can make you a sandwich too I guess" she said to Jexel. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about the half-breed but Isabelle insisted he stay with her so she just had to deal with it. Isabelle nodded as Jexel set her down as gently as he could on to the chair at the kitchen table. Isabelle just couldn't get that frown off her face. Regina, trying to change the subject, addressed Jexel..."So, um...Jex...how did you sleep?" She tried to sound genuine but she was only trying to show Isabelle that she was ok with Jexel, even though she wasn't really sure if she was yet. She still feared him and didn't trust him.
 
"Oh, ah... I slept very well, thanks for asking... Eh, how about you?" He asked without thinking. His concerns were all focused on Isabelle. Her mood was beginning to take its toll on him as he felt his heart become heavy at her scowl. Food didn't interest him very much, but he accepted Regina's offer of a sandwich graciously. As he sat down next to Isabelle, he realized just how awkward he felt. He was in a house with two humans as though that were a normal thing. Granted, one of them was the girl of his dreams and he always felt comfortable around her, but sitting at a table in a human home was never something he pictured himself doing...ever. It gave him butterflies in his stomach, and made him excessively shy. Even the fact that he was going to eat a sandwich made him uneasy. Looking around, it was evident that the environment was far cleaner than he was used to, and all the furniture looked comfy in comparison to his old couch, though most things were. Jexel rubbed his head in an attempt to take it all in, closing his eyes as a headache started to set in.
 
Isabelle looked over at Jexel who had taken a seat next to her as Regina started making lunch for them. He looked a little stressed, "Babe...you ok?" she asked, frustration turning into concern. She wanted to make sure he was well. The last thing she needed was for him to get anxious and start producing smoke. "Talk to me. What's wrong?" she asked him. Regina stopped preparing lunch, becoming increasingly more nervous at Isabelle's words. She turned to Isabelle for validation of her emotions. "It's ok Gina. I've got this. Why don't you run quickly upstairs and get some fresh clothes for me and Jexel" she said very calmly. Regina agreed and stepped out of the room quickly. She really couldn't get out of there fast enough. Returning her attention to Jexel, Isabelle said, "you look very uneasy and awkward. Did I do something? Did Regina?"
 
"Huh? Oh, n-no it's nothing. I guess this is just a bit tough to take in... I mean, I've never woken up this late before, a-and I hardly ever eat lunch. Everything is so different than what I lived with my whole life... I love it, it's just a lot to get used to... And I know it sounds selfish, but I gotta ask. Do you think you could... well, just... I want you to be happy, Isabelle, for both of our sakes. I need a smiling face right now, and you know I like yours best." Jexel spoke cautiously, doing all he could to keep from offending her while still getting his point across. He gave a light smile as he took her hand into his paw and continued. "I'm sorry for the scare. It's just that everything is trying to pack into my head at once, and it's giving me a bit of a headache... Just give me an hour or so and I'll be fine, I promise." He said quietly, lifting her hand to his lips and giving it a kiss. As long as he had her, he could take anything.
 
Isabelle returned his soft smile. "I wasn't scared, I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I didn't realize this might be a little overwhelming for you. So how's this..." she said making a really ugly face with a huge grin. "Better?" she couldn't keep her face straight and just burst out laughing. She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a long passionate kiss. Regina came inside the kitchen again, "Ugh, get a room. Actually no, I don't even want to think what happens behind that closed door." Regina was calmer now that she saw everything was ok. She was a little apprehensive but better. Isabelle just laughed at Regina's comment, still holding the back of Jexel's head, keeping his face close to hers. "Want to hear my dream? Listen to this..." she started, still staring into Jexel's golden eyes, "We live in a really big house, with all the amenities we can think of. Our bed is huge so we can stretch out as wide as we want. I'm making breakfast, lunch and dinner, and we're happy living together, at peace."
"Sounds good but that would never happen, whose going to rent a house to a half-breed and a human so they can live together?" Regina interrupted.
"That's why its called a dream Regina, damn dream killer." Isabelle scowled giving her the evil eye.
"Fine. I'll play along, as long as I get to be the god-momma to all the little babies your going to pop out. Guess they'll look a little funny but I'll love your babies anyway." Regina said as she set the completed sandwiches in front of Isabelle and Jexel. Babies. She never thought of that, the thought brought a smile to Isabelle's face as she continued to stare into the eyes of the one man she ever thought about having a baby with.
 
Jexel couldn't help but laugh at her face. It did wonders for his nerves, and being drawn in for a kiss only helped more. Regina's interruption was humorous to the half-breed, as he chuckled at her comment. Looking into Isabelle's beautiful emerald eyes, he listened intently to her dream. It was never something he thought about much, but having a home to share with her would be better than anything he could imagine. Regina's mentioning of children brought him to a very strange state of mind, plastering his face with red as he thought of the prospect. The thought only served to increase his love and adoration for the girl in front of him, but it also made him curious and concerned. So many what-if's waltzed into his mind, buzzing around with activity in his already full mind, but he was too entranced with Isabelle to pay them any heed. Glancing down at Isabelle's stomach before returning his gaze to her eyes, he grinned shyly, his face heating up with a heavy blush. It was just so real, so vivid, everything that was happening. In the course of the time he knew Isabelle, his whole outlook on life had changed, and it always brought a smile to his face when he thought about it.
 
"Hmm, would be nice to create a...what did you call it once?...oh yea...a nest" she said as she rubbed her nose against his, "but...before that...you have to meet my dad first. AND I'm still trying to figure that one out." Pulling away and adjusting her position the best she could, she began eating the sandwich Regina had prepared for her. The three of them spoke for a while which was a pleasant surprise. Regina didn't make too many snarky comments and she actually laughed and joked with Jexel as if he was not a half-breed sitting directly across from her. When they were done, Isabelle said, "Well...we were supposed to practice my magic use today and now that I actually have my two teachers, I would love to see how this would play out with the both of you helping me."
"Yeah, I'll go fill the tub with water and we'll see what we can pull together." Regina said as she stepped out of the room to go to the hallway bathroom.
"Your ok with that right?" Isabelle asked Jexel. She didn't want anything to upset or overwhelm him. She was getting good at reading his signs but she always wanted to be cautious.
 
As Jexel ate, he was pleasantly surprised to enjoy a conversation with Isabelle and Regina equally. It was as though he was simply a regular house guest in their presence, not some filthy animal. He took a deep breath as flashbacks interrupted his thoughts, showing him visions of his family through his childhood. Even back then he remembered the table talk, the laughs, the jokes...everything. It was like he had a family again. Forcing himself to remain calm was a challenge, but he mustered through lunch with a genuine smile on his face, glad to have that feeling again despite his fear of loss. After finishing his sandwich, Isabelle brought up practicing magic, reminding Jexel that he was in the presence of her original teacher. "Uh, yeah. I kinda want to see how Regina teaches you anyways. Call me curious." He said with a grin, picking Isabelle up from her chair and carrying her to the bathroom.
 
Jexel brought her into the bathroom just as Regina had finished filling it up to the top. "Ok the last time we left off, you were creating ripples right?" Regina asked.
"Oh I can do more than that!" Isabelle said excitingly, looking back at Jexel with a big smile. Regina's bathroom was not the biggest, they all fit a little snug inside so Isabelle sat on Jexel's lap as he sat on the floor, Regina sitting on the toilet. "Ok then, show me what you got."
Isabelle relaxed again, freeing her mind from all thoughts and interruptions and filling them only with thoughts of her love, their love making and...little babies. Opening her eyes and reciting her incantation, Isabelle connected to the water again, hearing it in her ears, looking through a hue of blue. She made the orbs float to Regina's amazement who clapped in excitement bringing Isabelle out of her trance.
"Amazing, guess you're a pretty ok teacher, not as good as me but you did good," Regina told Jexel before continuing, "Ok, water has three forms, liquid like what you see in the tub, solid like ice or vapor like steam. Let's try steam. Heat up the water, bring it to a boil, cause it to steam." Regina told Isabelle the incantation to heat up water and told Isabelle to concentrate, "perhaps something that makes you mad would help." Isabelle connected again to the water and recited the incantation but nothing happened. She tried it again, yet still nothing happened. Remembering what Jexel said about connecting the magic to her emotions, she thought to herself, if love made the water move, than what would make the water steam? She began to think about her possessive father and all the decisions he forced on her, she thought about Jexel and all the stupid decisions he made that almost got him killed, she thought about the fire, she thought about the bull, she thought about the first impression he made on her father, she thought about his rage, she thought about his destruction, she thought about their argument, she thought about her accident, being unable to walk and finally she thought, it was his fault. She was so angry at this point, his fault, it was his fault she couldn't walk...him and all his stupid decisions she thought.
"Isabelle....Izzy....come back from where you are Izzy..." Regina was saying but Isabelle was lost in her own mind. "Jexel, do something." Regina pleaded. The water in the tub had evaporated too quickly, the temperature in the bathroom was rising making the walls and Regina sweat. "She's going to lose control if she doesn't come out soon."
I can't walk because of him, I may never walk again because of him, because he has not control! she thought. Why doesn't he have any control? Why can't he just be normal for once? Why does he have to be this way? She couldn't stop the thoughts from flooding in, she couldn't find a way to stop herself, she was losing herself within her own mind. The incantation she recited opening a portal within her that she didn't know how to close.
 
"Isabelle..." Jexel said with difficulty, the steam effecting him more violently than he expected. Bringing Isabelle close to him, he began speak into her ear. "I-Isabelle, why did you come back for me? Why did you chase me down? Every time I walked away thinking that you hated me, you followed. You surprised me. You loved me... Despite all I did, and all I said, you always came back and said you loved me... D-Do you still love me?" He asked, putting his paws gently on the base of her shoulders. He didn't hug her, or kiss her, but he simply kept speaking softly into her ear, knowing that any more contact with her would make matters worse. "...because I love you. Maybe that's not what you want to hear now, but I do. So...tell me again, why did you want to learn magic? Why did you come after me? Why do you care for me more than anyone else?" He continued, speaking softly and rationally, two things she needed to hear more than ever now. He continued to gently rub her shoulders as he spoke hoping the small stimulation along with his voice wouldn't anger her more. All he could hope for was that she could hear him through the dangerous place she was in.
 
The steam that was beginning to fill the bathroom was thick and it was choking yet Isabelle couldn't stop herself. Why do you have to be like that? Why? Why? she thought over and over. Her thoughts were interrupted by Jexel's voice. She could hear him although he sounded very far away. No I don't want to hear your excuses. No. It's your fault, your fault she thought more. She could feel his gentle touch and she wanted to shake him off but she didn't. She wanted to hear what he was saying, answering his voice in her thoughts. I came back because I'm stupid and a masochist. I chase you down because I apparently love to be in pain...no it's not that...it's because I love you so damn much. I love you so much I'm blind...Of course I still love you. I can't stop. I can never stop...I wanted to learn magic for you...it's always about you, everything is always about you...I love you Jexel...I love you so much it literally hurts and I try to stay away and I can't. I love you..I love you..I love you..." she continued to say in her mind, beginning to calm now, the steam beginning to thin, the temperature in the room beginning to lower. Isabelle's eyes opened wide in an instant, she didn't even realize they were closed, and she gasped desperately for air. She looked around from one end of the room to the other...disoriented as to where she was. "Where am I?" she started to say, tears coming down her face again, she tried to get up but her legs still weren't working. She was becoming very anxious, eyes darting from one place to another.
"Isabelle, relax it's Regina, it's ok......Jexel do something please. She's disoriented. The spell was too much for her to handle." Regina said, looking to Jexel now for answers. He helped Isabelle get out of the place where she was but could he help her calm down now.
 
Seeing that Isabelle was awakened from her stupor, he wrapped his arms slowly around her, letting his fur slowly brush against her skin. Not once did he take his eyes off of hers as he slowly drew closer to her. "It's okay. You are okay. Lean into me until you get your bearings, alright?" He said before kissing her forehead lightly. Tears began to form in his eyes as he looked into hers, hoping that what he was doing would keep her calm. "One of the kindest things one can do for another is to share a tear...my mother taught me that." He spoke calmly with a soft smile. It was all he knew to do with everything she was going through at the moment. Regina's voice didn't even register to him, as all his focus was placed into Isabelle from the moment the steam started.
 
Jexel's golden eyes met hers, his fur softly brushing against her skin. She remembered where she was and what she was doing. Leaning in to him like he told her, Isabelle cried against his chest, sobbing heavily and loudly, she just couldn't do anything else. She was ashamed, ashamed at the way her anger had manifested, taking its form against Jexel whom had nothing to do with what happened to her. He did nothing to her, a tree fell, and she was too close when it did. It was not his fault and it was not hers. The darkness inside her mind was overwhelming and she hated that she allowed herself to be consumed by it. After a while, her sobs grew softer until they were just sniffles, her chest stopped heaving and she was able to become calm. "Take me to the room, please. I just want to lay down." she told him, still sniffling. Regina tried to apologize to Isabelle, "No, its ok. It's not your fault. I really just need to lay down please." Isabelle said to Regina, burying herself deeper into Jexel's chest, not wanting to be too far away from his touch, needing it to keep still and at peace.
 
Jexel held Isabelle close as she cried, doing everything in his power to comfort her. When she asked to be taken back to the room, he obliged, picking her up and keeping her head close to his chest. After laying her down and making sure she was comfortable, he got into the bed himself to lay next to her and began to speak. "...don't feel bad for what happened in there. Messing with states of matter, especially those governed by something so fickle as temperature, is dangerous. I think it would be best if you stuck with regular water for the time being, ya know?" He took her hand in his paws, giving it a squeeze to convey his concern and support for her. "If there is anything you want me to do for you, just ask. I'm here for you."
 
Isabelle snuggled closely to Jexel, she needed to feel the warmth of his body close to hers to keep her grounded, to remember where she was. The magic she practiced was too much for her to handle. She knew Regina meant well but Isabelle was never as strong as Regina, it made her not want to practice anymore magic. Jexel was fine she thought, maybe she didn't need to continue to learn. "How about you don't practice anymore magic and then I won't have to learn anymore myself..." she closed her eyes, immediately regretting what she just said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Residual feelings from earlier. It's just...that spell...it took me to a place I thought I could never go. It was so dark, there was so much anger, so much hate and I just couldn't get out. If it wasn't for you...I don't know what would've happened to me. Is it possible to just...lose your mind with this type of access?" she asked him. That's how she felt when she was immersed in her mind, she felt like she was going to lose it, any longer and she might've. "I don't want to practice for a while. It's draining. Heck, I don't even want to see a glass of water for a while." She moved over towards the nightstand, pulling out the notepad and pen from the prior night, "How about we practice something else? Remember what I taught you yesterday?" she asked, mustering a small smile.
 
Jexel held her close, giving her a kiss on the cheek before responding to her comments. "Don't be sorry. If my magic worked like that, then I'd stop practicing in a heartbeat. But...that thing you experienced back there? ...I was born with it... It's not something I would ever wish on anyone, but you found yourself there by chance, and ended up closer to me than ever before. It is possible to lose yourself, entering that state of mind unprepared. After that it just takes...time. Time to recover, to let things settle down. There is no mind immune to brooding and blaming, and when it succumbs, you just need to let it mull over everything. I...I'd know best." He sighed as he spoke, cuddling closer to Isabelle for his own comfort as well as hers now. As she turned to pull out the notepad he let out a small joking groan before chuckling out a response. "Yeah, I remember. Is this what school feels like? Because...it kinda sucks." He didn't really care though, as long as he was with Isabelle. He returned her smile with one of his own, along with another kiss.
 
Pulling away gently from his kiss, "Oh no, you think this kinda sucks? School is so much worse. You are there from morning until afternoon, learning different subjects in a classroom with hard chairs and desks and lots of other people. This, my love, is so much better. Not every one gets to enjoy being taught in bed by their super sexy girlfriend. All nighters to the average student normally consists of long hours of studying not a break that turns into having sex all night long with your teacher." she said with a big grin, pulling him down to her for another passionate kiss. Releasing him, Isabelle adjusted herself, "Ahem..wow...ok...let's do this. We can't start with breaks...you'll never learn anything that way," she smiled before continuing. Pointing to one of the letters on the notepad she said, "What is this letter and what sound does it make?"
 
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