Letting go

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Winterwings

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Susan walked down the street. It was rainy and the sun was on its way to disappear. Soon there would only be the street lights from the lamp posts left to shed light on the streets. Small raindrops danced in the little light that was still left, but Susan didn't see that. She had her eyes on the street, she didn't see much anyways. Her eyes was filled with tears, and she stubbornly wiped them away with her hand time after time. Now was not the time to cry, she thought, and bit her lip. Shed no tears, she thought, the rain is enough.

All she was wearing was a gray dress, torned from being used too many times, and underwear. She was barefoot, freezing cold. The wind blew harshly in her light brown hair that almost reached her to her waist. She put it behind her ears now and then since it wouldn't leave her face alone. It was calm and quiet, not even cars seemed to be out on the streets. At least, it wasn't many. Susan had only seen three or four cars passing by the latest hour or so. She had been walking around, without any goal, but one thing was for sure: she wouldn't open her eyes the following morning, she thought.

She got to a bridge, glanced down as she passed. She stopped and looked down. It was all dark and she couldn't see whether it was water or street down there, but it didn't really matter to her. She stood there a while, just looking down. You don't deserve any better. She climbed up to the rail of the bridge and closed her eyes. Just do it.
 
Brandon was pissed at what happened later today, storming through the rain like a bull that just got hit in the face with a whip. "Stupid son of a bitch!" he muttered under his breath, he was mad at the fact that his bestfriend ditched him and lied about everything that happened that day. He fought his friend and was kinda hurt, he had cuts on his face and arms, his T-Shirt was torn up, his jeans was ripped in some places. He wanted to get away from here as soon as he came.

He walked faster and was cussing uder his breath, it was cold but he didn't care. He started walking up on a bridge and looked up and then down and spotted a woman looking over the bridge, so he did the same, and all he saw was nothing but darkness, it looked like a portal to the devils layer. But he knew where it led, it was nothing but concrete. He looked back up and started walking but slowed his pace. The storm was getting a little bad but he loved the rain. It soothed him.

He stopped and layed up against the rail and looked down and looked to his left and saw the woman step over the rail,"Wht the...HEY!" he screamed, he started to ran over their, "HEY!! DON'T JUMP! JUST COME BACK OVER THE RAIL AND GRAB MY HAND!" he yelled so she can hear him. It was raining harder, he looked down and it was a long drop to the ground, "Please, come over?" he said as he reached his hand out for her and started stepping closer. She seemed like she was cry and upset because her eyes was red, 'Please don't jump and make me catch you' he thought to himself.
 
This was it. There was no turning back now, it had all been decided already. She couldn't give in now, it was too late to change her mind, she thought. She looked at whoever was standing there. What was he doing? What was he trying to do? She looked at him with a gaze of confusion, having no idea who he was or why he was there. She tilted her head a little, looking at him. Her eyes, some mixture of gray and green, looked empty. There is nothing left, she thought. She saw him reaching his hand out, stepping closer towards her. Was he going to push her? Wasn't she even worth deciding her own death, when to finish it? But then she remembered his words, what he had said. Don't jump. He didn't understand. She didn't blame him. This wasn't his fault.

She felt the metal underneath her feet being wet and slippery from all the rain, it was cold and harsh against her naked foots. Not much to keep her feet on, she thought. Not even a step away from finishing it, from leaving, letting go. Her hands were cold and stiff, almost to the point where she didn't feel them any longer. Grabbing his hand seemed impossible for her to do, it seemed so much easier to just let go. She was cold, she didn't have much strenght left in her body. Maybe even if she'd want to be saved, she wouldn't be strong enough to make it back to the other side of the rail.

Just do it. It echoed in her mind, over and over again. What was she afraid of? Death couldn't be as bad or cruel as life had been, she thought. She seemed almost lost in herself, as if she had forgotten about the guy standing at the other side of the rail, but then she looked at him. This time she had a much clearer gaze than before, although it was still confused. There was no emotions to be seen on her face, or in her eyes, as she let go of the rail and let her feet slip. No turning back now.
 
He saw her let herself go off the rail, "NOOOO!!!!!" he screamed and leaped for her over the rail and grabbed her hand and the rail with the other one, "AHHHH!! COME ON!" he said as he was trying to pull him and her up, he looked down at her and she wasn't even dazed about what she was doing, 'Does she want to die?' he said in his mind. "I'm not going to let go! I've had aver shitty fucking day and I'm not going to make it worse by watching you kill yourself!" he yelled trying to keep his grip but was losing it. He kept trying to get a better grip but it wasn't working at all "No! Damn it! Not like this!" he said still trying to hold on, "I'm not going to let you go!" he said and as soon he said that a car drove by and splashed water in his face and a peice of an object flew and hit him and he lost his grip, "AHH...OFFFF!" he said as he fell and pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her and squeezed using all his body strength to protect her from the fall and turned so his back was facing th fall, "I'm not going to let you kill yourself." he whispered in her ear.

The fell for a good 45 secs and the all of a sudden they hit the ground, Brandon it first before she did, they landed on a pile of wood and a mattress that was laying on top of it and Brandon hit really hard missing the bed and having the girl land on it. "UGGHH!" he yelped as blood splattered out of his mouth, and he flew back up and slammed back on the ground and rolled to his face.
 
Susan felt like hitting him in the face, really. Who was he to decide whether she should live or not? He had no right to play God, she thought, and tried to turn away, slightly, as he whispered in her ear. I'm not going to let you kill yourself. As if it was that simple. It sounded so simple, but it wasn't. She felt his arms around her, squeezing her to make sure that she didn't get hurt. It all felt wrong. He had done nothing wrong, nothing to deserve this. Was he going to die, instead of her? An innocent stranger, she thought. She was hoping that there would be water at the end, when they hit whatever was underneath them, as they fell. If it was water, they would fall deep down, and then she wouldn't have enough strength to swim to the surface, and he wouldn't have enough strength to get both of them up, she thought. That way, she would be able to just slowly sink the the bottom. Peaceful. She didn't want to think of what would happen if there was no water.

Something soft. At first, she thought it was the surface of the water. But she could still breathe. There was no water. She opened her eyes, and spotted the guy, whoever he was. She found that she had landed on the mattress, but that he hadn't been as lucky. Or, as she looked at it, unlucky. She was a bit sore but it didn't hurt too much, she knew that he was probably much worse. She looked at him, seeing the blood on his lips, from his mouth. He was hurt, and it was all her fault. She looked at him for a few more seconds, trying to understand what had just happened. What was she going to do? She carefully stood up, and slowly walked over to him. She stood there, looked down at him for a few seconds, before kneeling in front of him. "I'm sorry", she said, although there wasn't even the slightest touch of guilt, sadness or anything, in her voice. "Are you hurt?" she asked, and now she sounded a bit more worried. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I thought you'd let me go, not... fall with me", she said and bit her lip.
 
He could hear speak to him, he wasn't like other people. His eyes were still closed as he spoke faintly "Well...I wasn't going...to let you die.." He said. The rain was slapping him in the face, his body ached, he could still see them falling, it replayed in his head over and over. He opened his eyes and looked at her, she was beautiful, but he could see that she was wanting to hit him for doing that, "You can hit me when I'm feeling better..." He said as he tried to get up but only sat up with his head lowered "Ohhhh wow my back.." He said as he leaned back and popped it "MMMMM! That's going to hurt in the morning.." He moaned, his shirt was torn from the ground that he tumbled and scrapped on. "You ok? Are you hurt at all?" He said as he set his hand softly on her shoulder. He didn't care about his condition but he did for hers. He didn't know why he did what he did, he just felt something and it pushed him to do so. He looked deep into her eyes, "Please, tell me if your ok."
 
Susan grinned slightly at his words. 'You can hit me when I'm feeling better.' She looked thoughtful for a moment, as if she was really considering it, but turned her attention to him again, as he spoke. She flinched a little, almost not noticable, but she did, as he touched him. Normally she would have pushed his hand away, walking away from there, but now that he was injured because of her, she felt like she couldn't really do that. It felt weird to her that he seemed to be so worried about her as he was, obviously, the one hurt, and not her. She was just about to open her mouth, telling him that she was perfectly fine, as he looked into her eyes. "Please, tell me if you're ok", he said, those words repeating themselves again in her mind. The way he looked into her eyes.

Looking away, not wanting to meet his gaze again, she bit her lip. It sounds like he's serious about this, she thought, glancing at him, wanting to know if she was okay. She suspected that he was talking not only about the physical part this time, but the one involving feelings and things that were much harder to explain. She didn't feel like going there with him, a stranger, really. On the other hand, he wasn't like anyone else - he had actually gotten himself pretty hurt just to save her. Taking a deep breath, she looked into his eyes, although hers were a bit upset at this point, trying to keep calm.

"I'm not", she said, thinking that that was enough. What had he expected? As she had just tried to kill herself, he must understand that she wasn't feeling too well, right? She felt her heart racing in her chest, but not feeling like showing herself vulnerable like that to him, she looked away. This was all wrong. "Why would I otherwise try to kill myself, you think?", she said, more to herself than to him, sounding abit annoyed, but underneath she was worried, scared even. "I'm not okay but I appreciate what you did for me, what you're trying to do. I get that you're a nice guy trying to save me, but I'm not okay and so I've decided to go to a better place, and this is not your fault so don't feel guilty", she said, sounding surprisingly calm, as she turned around, her back facing him. She didn't feel good about leaving him like that. She turned around slightly and looked at him. "...I could call an ambulance if you like. You look pretty injured."
 
He watched her as she spoke, and got up to walk toward her, "No, I don't need it. I'll be fine. You are whom I worried for.." He said and looked up and smirked, the rain felt good to him, he loved the rain and looked down at her. He noticed when he touched her she flinched "I'm not going to hurt you, I don't know what happened before this but I promise, I won't hurt you." He said in a gentle tone. She was soked and she looked cold and tired of bullshit. "Look, how about this...my place is just up the road to the left, you can take a shower and wait for the rain to blower on Thursday, and you can go back home. I'll drive you home when it's over...ok?" He said as he reached his hand out to her, his eyes looking into hers "..I promise you, I won't hurt you nor do anything. You don't have to if you don't want too..but I'll feel much better to know that your safe if you did." He said in a gentle tone and staring into her eyes, trying not to show he's in pain. His body hurt really bad but he didn't care about he wanted to know she was safe.
 
"I'm not going to hurt you, I don't know what happened before this but I promise, I won't hurt you", he said. At those words she felt like walking away from there. He didn't understand. She almost got the feeling as if he was talking to a frightened animal - her. As if what he said would matter, she thought, but still listening to what more he had to say. She looked thoughtful when he had said everything he had to say. She hadn't expected something like this. Was he telling her that she could stay at his place till the rain was over, and that he would drive her home afterwards? She grinned slightly. There was no home. Thinking about it, she thought that she could at least let him think that she was safe. Well, she would be at his place, she thought, not killing herself, and having him drive her home, why not? Killing herself when he had dropped her off would be pretty easy, she thought, and she didn't mind waiting for a few days just so that he could feel better - after all, he had saved her, and although that wasn't really what she wanted, she felt sorry for him.

"Okay", she said, grabbing his hand as it was reached out towards her. Taking a shower was something she looked forward to, at least. She began walking with him beside her, towards his place, him showing the way, of course. She was quite surprised that he was actually doing this, she didn't understand why he was being so nice to her.

As they got there, she got her shoes and coat off, and then walked to the bathroom. Once she had locked the door and put the water on, she felt like she could finally exhale. Was this really happening?
 
He was soked from head to toe, dripping all over the new carpet that was installed not to long ago. "Well damn it...this sucks.." He said taking off his shoes and walking upstairs to his room slowly. His body ached and ached all over. He took off his shirt slowly, with every movement shot a sharp pain through his entire body, "Ugh!" He yelped, and poked his head out as soon as he heard the water turn on, "Atleast she made herself at home, which is good." He chuckled.

He turned around and looked into the mirror, flexing his muscles to see what was worse then the other, "Well more scars to add on the list..." He stopped and a flash back went through his head when they were on the bridge "...what was she doing their?" He said to himself and looked at himself in the mirror "This day keeps getting better and better..." He said, he looked at the time, '7:27pm' and looked outside. "I hope she's going to be alright after this..." He said as he turned around and walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower and started stripping and walked in. He inhaled deeply because the water was hitting his wounds and the burned but he ignored it and kept washing himself. The water felt good after a while, he stood his head over the shower head and let the water hit his head and roll down his back like a waterfall.

He turned off the water and stepped out and started drying himself off and putting on his clothes but leaving his shirt off to tend to his wounds. He walked out the bathroom and walked infront of the mirror the was set by a wall which his bedroom door stood infront of. He pulled out an aid kit and started tending to his wounds not realizing his bedroom door was open. "Mmmm, wow, that hurts.." He said as he stitched a wound, his scars could be seen all over his back and on chest, some on his arms, they all had a long history which he never told. "Ok, that should do...onto the next one.." He said as he chuckled to get the pain out from his head.
 
When Susan hade taken the well-needed shower, which didn't take long by the way, about fifteen minutes or so - she usually stayed in the shower for a longer time, and she would have if it wasn't because of the fact that she was a guest and that this wasn't her home at all. Stepping out of the shower, she put on her torn night gown, only now realizing how torn it actually was. She sighed and tilted her head. What had he thought when he had seen her? At least he had had clothes on, real clothes. The night gown was special to her though, and that's why she had decided to wear it when she was going to die - which hadn't happened. Yet, that is, she thought to herself, letting go of the night gown as she looked at it, although she was already wearing it. She figured she'd probably sleep in it as she was thinking of going to bed, or maybe her underwear would be enough, she wasn't sure. She didn't feel too comfortable sleeping in only underwear at the guy's place, as she didn't know him that well.

After a few minutes, when she had washed her face and gotten the dirt away, she stepped into the bedroom. Seeing a mattress on the floor beside the bed, she figured that he had thought that she was going to sleep there. She didn't mind. Seeing that the pillow and blanket was already there, she laid down, listening to the sound of water as he was taking a shower, too, she assumed.

Hearing him talking right outside, she caught sight of him in the mirror, although she was lying down. She didn't see much of him, but from his words she understood that he was cleaning his wounds, probably. But having a better look as she sat up, being too curious not to, she couldn't help but to notice the scars on his back. Loads of them. She gasped for air as she stood up. Those scars were old, no chance that was all from what had happened during the night, she thought, unsure of whether to approach him or to just hide under the blanket. She had thought that he was a 'normal' guy, but seeing those scars, she didn't know what to think. Glancing at the scars on her wrist, she knew she wasn't as 'normal' either. Biting her lip realizing that her thies and legs had plenty of scars on them because of self harm, she figured she shouldn't be too shocked about her discovery. Who knew, maybe he didn't self injure, maybe it had been another accident he had been involved in.

"I'm assuming you're thinking I'm going to sleep on the mattress in your bedroom", she said, standing in the doorway looking at him in the mirror. She could see the scars on his chest now, his arms, but tried not to look at them but at his face. "I'm going to bed now. Good night", she said, turning her back towards him and laying down on the mattress, the blanket on her, closing her eyes to finally get some sleep.
 
He heard her speak and made him jump and jab a needle in his wound "Ahhh, shit..." And turned around to look at her, "Well, no. I was going to let you sleep in here, letting you choose wether you want the bed or the one one the floor." He said finishing up. He saw her lay down and cover herself up and closed her eyes. "Goodnight, ma'am." He said and turned around and left the room.

He walked in the hallway and entered a room that was kind of empty and opened the closet "She's about her size." He said looking n the closet full of female clothes...his exs clothes to be percise, and pulled out a pair of pants and a t-shirt that worded "You Only Live Once. False Press X To Respawn." on it, he couldn't help but chuckle and walked out of the room and back down the hallway. He set the clothes neatly on his bed and left, looking back and saw how she slept, she looked so peaceful, so beautiful. He shut the light off and cracked the door.

He walked into the kitchen and saw his dog standing by his bowl, with his 2 cats as well, "Oh guys I'm so sorry." He said as he grabbed them and put food in it and sat it next to them. "It's been on hell of a day guys." He sighed as he pet his animals and stood up. He was tired very tired. He walked out the kitchen and into the living room and laid down and fell asleep.

"Noooo!" "I'm not going to let go!" Step over the rail and grab my hand, please" '*Spalsh*' Brandon woke up with a gasp, and grabbed his head and shook it. He flopped back down and looked at his phone for the time '10:13am', he got up and walked up stairs into his room, she was still sleeping, he smiled and walked down stairs, into the kitchen amd started making breakfast. Bacon, Eggs, Biscuts, Gravy, Sausage, you name it, he was making it. His dogs was playing with the cats because he was up and new someone else stayed the night, he fixed a plate for the unnamed girl that slept soundly in his room and set it on a tray with a glass of Orange Juice and started walking up stairs to his room, not realizing his pets were following him, he had 2 English Bulldogs and 2 cute fat cats, that was following him. He opened his door and set the tray beside her. "Hey, wake up. It's time to eat. Come on, wake up." He said in a gentle voice and lightly shrugged her.
 
"Where are you going? Where will you turn? You don't know where you're going, do you? It's a dead end, don't you know that? No path will save you. Nothing will."

Susan balanced on the rail of the bridge, hearing cars driving by in a fast phase below her. The night was calm, not windy or anything. Apart from the cars, it was quiet. She wore her night gown, but it was fixed, not broken. It was as nice as it had been when she had gotten it. It wasn't torn any longer.

The water hit her, it surprised her. She had been expecting cars, not water. Feeling herself sink deeper and deeper into the water, she felt calm, it was soothing. As she opened her eyes, she noticed blood. It came from a boy, lying on the bottom. He was broken. There were wounds everywhere, all over him. She saw nothing but blood. She was bleeding, too.

~

Feeling someone shrugging her, just touching her really, made her open her eyes immediately, backing off slightly. Realizing it was the boy from the day before, she sat up slowly. It took a few seconds before she didn't look too lost, as she at first wasn't sure of what had actually happened. She cleared her throat and nodded. Looking at the breakfast already being ready, she smiled slightly. "I see you've made an effort doing this", she said, reaching out for a biscuit, eating it. "It's great", she said, starting to eat an egg.
 
He looked at her as she woke up "Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, your safe, Susan. It's me, Brandon. I brought you breakfast." He said as he sat it next to her and watch her eat "Thank you, I'm glad you like it, he turned around and saw his dogs and his fat ass cats jump on the bed and to where she sat and just looked at her and loved on her "Oh come on gu....nonononono, guys leave...." He stopped and smiled, "They like you...that's a first.." He said, and chuckled, "Squishy! No, don't do that, no don...nevermind." His fat cat Squishy took a piece of egg off her plate and snuggled up to her and ate it, looking up at her. His animals was all up on her. He just chuckled and looked at her and smiled.
 
Susan couldn't help but to smile at his animals, the cat - who apparently was names Squishy - who had decided to have some of her egg. She let it, and didn't get mad at it or anything, as she saw that he didn't, either. Seeing that he was smiling, made her look away, focusing at the cat instead, as if she had been caught doing something wrong. She pet the cat in hopes of making it satisfied, before trying to eat her breakfast, this time without any animals disturbing her or taking the food away from her.

A while later, she had eaten an egg, three biscuits and a sausage. To her, that was quite a lot, a bit more than what she was used to eat. She didn't want to be rude though. Drinking some of the orange juice, she glanced at Brandon. "So... are there any rules or anything like that? As I'm a guest in your home", she said.
 
He chuckled "Nope, no rules. Just be happy and have fun...well try to, theirs some clothes on the bed here for you." He said as he looked at her, he could see in her eyes that she was still thinking about it. "Susan...I don't know what happened but, no matter what, have faith that things will turn it better..." He looked away "...your probably think I don't know what I'm talking about, but just know.." He said as he looked at her and set his hand on hers "..I'm here for you if you need me and you can come talk to me if you want." He said as he heard the door bell ring.

He opened his front door...it was his Ex "Ashley, what do you want." He said as she stepped in on her own "To see you, I miss you." She said as she leaned to him but he pushed her back "Wh-what are you doing Ashley? You fucked me over with my best friend but now all of a sudden you want me back? Uh no, you lost your chance. Sorry." He said. Susan could possibly here this and looked at the door, "I'm sorry, Brandon. I really am, honey. I want you back." She said as she was touching on him "Stop!" He said loudly. 'Please some one help me get her to leave." He thought to himself.
 
Listening to what Brandon said, at first she thought it was all bullshit, as with anything else anyone told her, all the crap about not giving up and that someday things would be better. As he put his hands on hers, she looked at him, feeling slightly uncomfortable about it, but paying attention to him. She nodded slightly as the door bell rang, relieved that it did, as she wasn't a fan of the situation that had just happened.

She did hear what was going on between Brandon and that girl, but she didn't pay much of attention at all as it was none of her bussines really, before she heard Brandon saying stop in a loud voice. Hearing that, she jumped slightly, looking pretty worried all of sudden. Walking over there, looking at them, she wasn't sure whether to do something or to just let it be. Realizing that the girl was looking at her, she knew she couldn't just go back to the room as if nothing had happened. And so, she walked over there, although she didn't like it. "I don't think now is a good time. He's busy, you see", she said, glancing at Brandon. "Maybe you could call later or something. We're in the middle of something, really", she said, looking at the girl again. "So if it's not too much to ask, it'd be very nice of you if you could leave us alone", she said.
 
Brandon's mouth dropped and his eyes widened she started walking, not the fact that she was talking to Ashley, but she was talking period, she has never talked that much since they've met, she kept looking at him when she spoke and he walked over their next to Susan, "So you with this, huh? This girl? Wow she looks pathetic! She re.." She stopped as Brandon interrupted her "Hey! Watch your mouth, this so called "pathetic girl" has changed my like! She's more of a woman then you are, Ashley! She keeps me happy, she keeps me smiling, she doesn't hit my animals, my animals love her, my family loves her...and most of all I..." He looks at her and grabs her hand, and back at Ashley and stutters for a bit but catches back on track "....I-I-I love h-h-her. She's the most amazing woman that has ever entered my life." He looked at Susan and smiled and released her hand, "No can you please respect our privacy and leave us alone." He said as he walked to the door "Your going to regret this. She's nothing compared to..." She stopped by him again "She's more than you, now my best bet his for you too leave our house, now. Before she rips your fucking head off. And trust me she can I've seen her beat the shit out of a big ass guy, but wouldn't want to see your face get disfigured now do we?" He said as he grinned and looked at Ashley "So what do you say? You walk out, peacful or your face gets disfugured?" He said, hoping she'd leave so Susan doesn't have to say anymore. Brandon knew he had done to much already, holding her hand, standing by her, everything, he was probably making her feel uncomfortable already. He just wanted to show her that, their is someone out in the world that will care about her, and that someone is anyone, which includes him.
 
As Brandon talked about Susan having changed his life, and in the end actually going as far as saying that he was in love with her, talking as if they were both in love with each other, made her quite surprised, and a bit irritated at him. What was he doing? She couldn't really believe her ears. She didn't mind that he lied about her beating someone up as she knew it was because he wanted the woman to leave, but lying about her and Brandon? That was too much for her. Simply just wrong. As the woman left and the door shut behind her, Susan looked at Brandon with an irritated look on her face. "I haven't even met your family. And you don't know me. You don't know me!" she said, the last sentence being a bit louder than the rest, turning around walking back to the bedroom.

Realizing that she didn't have anything that belonged to herself, she sat down where she had been sleeping, biting her lip. She didn't need the drama of some ex girlfriend and his lies, she didn't want things to be more complicated than what they already were. After a few seconds of thinking, maybe a minute or so, she stood up, heading to the hallway. "Thanks for letting me stay", she said, one hand at the door, ready to leave.
 
He took what she had too say, and let her walk up stairs. He laid up against the door and walked away. He saw her walk toward the door, "Wait, you can't go out their. It's still too dangerous." He said walking toward "Look, you don't have to go. I really don't wasn't you too." He said looking at her, but he could tell she made up her mind already and she didn't care, "You know, it's fine. You do what you want. I'm tired of people walking out my life and breaking my heart and fucking lying to me! You know, what was I suppose to say to her? 'Oh, no, I met her on a bridge before she tried to kill herself last night.' If I didn't say what I said, she wouldn't have left. But go ahead, I'm done fighting for people, I might as well just fucking end it. Anyways, just do as you please, I'm done trying to fight being happy, I thought I could change that but seems like I was just fooling myself. Bringing in a beautiful girl, in my house, who just tried to kill herself and try and make it right, haha I'm a fucking prick. I'm sorry, Susan, for being such a prick, sorry for fucking carrying about you even though I don't know shit about you, I'm sorry, ok." He said walking back and forth and then stopping and turned around trying not to show that he's crying. He grabbed a coat and handed it behind him, "Just make sure..you wear this before you go. The storm has gotten worse." He said as his voice crackled because he was crying, "Please don't go..." He said to himself. "Please don't..."
 
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