Letting go

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Listening to his heartbeats, she tried to make out a pattern of it, imagining what his heart looked like, up and down, up and down, inside of his chest. Feeling him doing patterns on her back, she smiled slightly, concentrating on that, not wanting to lose it. She could do this, she thought to herself.
 
He smiled as he felt the smile appear on her face. He curled her up to his body and pulled the covers up over them more. It was only 7 pm, it was still raining and he didn't care. The blinds were open, along with the curtains and he just laid their with her. He loved her in his arms, he wanted nothing more. He held her close and closed his eyes and began to drift into sleep.
 
Waking up, Susan got stiff for a second, before remembering what had happened. I must have fallen asleep, she thought, seeing that Brandon was still sleeping. She looked around slightly before sitting up in the bed, careful not to wake him up. Walking over to the window, it was still dark outside, and rainy. Without looking at the clock, she assumed it was still at night, as she made her way to the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, she bit her lip. What had she done? "What have I done?" she asked herself, as if she was expecting an answer from the reflection in the mirror. She smiled slightly as she washed her hands. Had she screwed things up already?

The thought of walking away, in the middle of the night, hit her. It would be simple. Just leaving, no traces. It would be so easy, she thought. She wouldn't have to give him any explanations as to why it had turned out like this. Thinking about it, she knew she couldn't do that, though. He cared about her. She could tell by the way he had taken care of her last night. She was still embarrased about it. Ashamed of even thinking about leaving, she laid down next to him in the bed, listening to his heart beating once again.
 
Liam felt the bed shift and knew she was up. He opened his eyes and held her close. Something was wrong, her body language was different. He looked at her face and knew exactly what it was "If you think you messed things up...you didn't. I promise. I enjoyed it very much, I don't ever want too lose that. So don't think that. Ok?" he said as he leaved down and kissed her softly and gently in her lips just too let her knew he was telling the truth.
 
Susan nodded slightly at his words. She hadn't messed things up. Right. It was alright. Feeling his lips on hers, she replied with a soft kiss of hers as well, why, she didn't know. She wasn't sure of where things were going. It scared her, made her feel like she had lost control. "I'm sorry", she murmured, turning her back on him. Looking at the wall, she bit her lip. She didn't want that intimacy right now. "It's not your fault", she said, a bit worried he'd think that he had done something wrong. Had he? No. Of course he hadn't. He had been nice all along. It was alright, she told herself.
 
When he saw her leave his arms and turn her back. His heart nearly shattered, she said sorry and that it wasn't his fault but he thought it was. He got up and thought she may need time to herself. He kissed her cheek "It's fine...say no more...I understand..." he said as he tried too hide the sad look in his face but failed. He walked out the room and stared cussing at himself "I'm fucking stupid!" he said loudly but realizing he did.
 
"It's fine... say no more... I understand" - yeah, sure, she thought, as she heard him cussing outside. He doesn't understand, she thought, curling up. What had she done? She could imagine him being mad at himself, wondering what he had done wrong. She didn't want to complicate things. Why couldn't it just be easy? Why couldn't she just go along with it, let him get what he wanted? We would both be happy then, she thought. Maybe if she just followed him outside, let him show her the good about life, and then he wouldn't have to worry about her no more. The thought made her calm, made her feel like she did the right thing. Leaving having him think that she was happy again. He didn't have to know what would happen next, would he? She just couldn't stand leaving the world knowing that he was miserable because of something she had done. Knowing that she'd be lying if she made him believe that everything was okay when they went seperate ways didn't make her feel bad - it was better than knowing that she left him like this.
 
Brandon stopped and stood at the stairs and turned around. Sheens had to many people leave her, walk out on her. He turned around and walked back in. "I'm not giving up on you, Susan. I'm not going to stop trying to make you happy, I promise." he said and sat down on the floor "Want me to come back to bed? It's up too you." he said. Hoping she'd say yes.
 
Susan smiled slightly. She thought she had ruined it all, but maybe she hadn't. She turned around and looked at him. "You're welcome", she said, making space for him in the bed.
 
He smiled and got in bed. He leaned up and took off his shirt and laid back down. He put his arm around her and held her close. He never wanted to lose the feeling of her in his arms, he didn't want to lose her period.
 
She enjoyed the moment, just laying there with him. It felt good having him there, it was better than being all alone. She didn't say anything but laid quietly next to him.
 
He smiled as she laid their. He held her tight in his arms, not letting her go. He began to drift into sleep as he held her. He did patterns on her back like before but softer, more gentle.
 
Susan closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to take it with her, feeling him doing patterns on her back again. It was as if nothing had happened. She thought of the day that would come, when the sun would rise and what happened at night would only be a memory. She felt his arms around her, thinking that maybe he was afraid that she might walk away again. She tried to keep her hopes up though, as she had nothing to lose, she might as well give him a chance. After all, he had really earned it. Soon she was asleep.
 
The next morning, Brandon woke up. He looked around and felt her in his arms. She was sound asleep, her head on his chest, her arm around him, her leg wrapped around his. Her loved it. He eased his ease from her grasp and not to wake her up. He kissed her cheek softly and walked down stairs and into the kitchen and began coming breakfast. It was going to be a good day a very good day. He was nearly finished with breakfast, he got a plate for Susan and set the food on it. He sat it on a tray and poured orange juice in a glass and set it on the tray and began walking up stairs. He walked into the room and and saw her still asleep. Hr smiled and say the tray by the need. He say beside her and moved her soft hair from her face and kissed her cheek "Hun, wake up. It's time for breakfast, beautiful." he said with a smile.
 
((I had forgotten that it was my turn, sorry for the somewhat late reply.))

Hearing his voice, Susan opened her eyes. Not being too surprised seeing him, not frightened at least, she smiled back. It actually felt pretty good seeing him there. She would never have thought that seeing someone looking at her, even being in the same room as her, while she was asleep, wouldn't make her feel at least a little uncomfortable. She slowly sat up in the bed and looked at the breakfast on the tray. "It looks lovely", she said with a smile on her face.
 
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(It's fine, hun. It's my birthday.)

Brandon smiled as she woke up and complemented on the food. "I made it for you. I hope you like it. Mines waiting downstairs. We can eat and watch TV if you like" he said with a smile as he say the tray in her lap. "Enjoy, hun."
 
((Congratulations!))

Susan looked thoughtful and nodded then, looking at the breakfast. "That sounds good", she said and tasted her breakfast.
 
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