It Came From Outer Space (Mira-Charma13 and Dip)

[Mira-Charma13]

Zim instantly tensed up when Dib took a step towards him. It was like watching an angry feral cat that didn't want to be be touched by human hands. As the human took his first step Zim's posture changed at once. His antennae lowered dangerously, the first sign that he was uncomfortable. As the human rudely pointed at him and kept speaking, the next sign was a subtle twitching of those expressive appendages and a curling of the cricked tips.

The second couple of steps garnered another reaction. A low and continuous growling sound rumbled from deep within the Irken monarch's throat. Jewel-like magenta eyes narrowed into thin slits. Mocking Zim and the robot servant he loved so much didn't do Dib any favors either, because Zim's growling promptly picked up in volume. It could be likened to the growling of a large and formidable feline, like a leopard or a mountain lion. He wouldn't take his eyes off of Dib as he continued his approach and kept on blathering.

It was the final step, which almost closed the distance between them, that nearly sealed Dib's fate. A hostile, feral-sounding hiss escaped him and he bared his rows of zipper-patterned square teeth, all sharp as a scalpel. The PAK attached to his back began to shake and squeal, as if sounding a cautionary alarm to its host. Though he somehow managed to stay his teeth, claws, and PAK weaponry, it was more than obvious that Dib's careless approach and harsh words nearly doomed him. He was seconds away from deploying his lethal PAK legs and plunging the nearest one straight through the human's heart.

It was a quick-thinking GIR that came to Dib's rescue. He was between them in less than two seconds, using his rockets to fly upward and break the unblinking eye contact his master held with the human. "It's not worth it, master." He sounded oddly calm, and quite concerned, as he patted Zim's shoulder. Zim snarled and spun on his heel, storming toward the windshield. He stood there with his back to both Dib and his minion for a long time--GIR lowered himself back onto the floor and watched him worriedly...

...before turning his attention to Dib.

He quickly shimmied out of his dog suit and stood with his little hands on his metal hips, staring the human down with luminous turquoise eyes and a pout that would impress even the most spoiled of human toddlers!

"I told you my master was broken!" He sounded much like a parent scolding a small child. He also spoke softly, like he didn't want Zim overhearing the conversation. "Why you gotta go and break him more? I thought you could make him all better! He likes you! And...and he don't like anyone!" GIR hung his tiny head head, sighing in exasperation. "He been sad for a long, long time. He got all happy when he decided he wanted to come and get ya! I thought he would be fixed."

Mere moments after GIR finished speaking Zim turned ever so slightly, fixing Dib with a flat and clearly hostile sideways stare.

"You will never ever be my equal." His voice sounded flatter and distinctly lacked the calm, even tone he strove to maintain when he spoke before. "Not in the eyes of Zim's people, at least. The Almighty Tallest is like a god. Zim's word is law. And if you were to come with me, you would have to swallow your pride and honor that. Because Zim is taller." Zim's eyes narrowed even further. "I don't need a plaything." He spoke that word as scathingly as he possibly could. "I have plenty of mindless idiots to kick around on a daily basis. I am simply offering you an opportunity. Nothing more, nothing less."

Zim held up one hand, and all three fingers on that hand. "But by accepting this opportunity, realize that you are agreeing to these three things. One: You will denounce your loyalty to your mother planet and vow to serve the Irken Empire. You will go through the process of becoming an Irken Citizen and will receive a modified PAK, which will protect you from various illnesses and vastly extend your life span. Two: You must be decontaminated, vaccinated, and tested to determine your approximate intelligence quotient. You will be assigned a career based on your desires, your skills, and--if applicable--a recommendation from a Control Brain or the Almighty Tallest. Zim would easily recommend that the Dib be awarded a spot on the Massive's Planetary Investigation Team, which works night and day on completing the Universal Map and studying the various planet masses and the species that live there. And number three..."

He tilted his head slightly to the right. "You will vow to obey the Almighty Tallest and the Control Brains, as well as your superiors in your career field of choice, at all times and complete the tasks that are assigned to you with gusto."

Zim turned away again, staring out into the swaying trees before them. Watching the wind blow through the branches seemed to be soothing him and helping him to calm down, though even from a distance his muscles were still visibly tense and tight. "Zim already sees you as an equal," he admitted with relative ease. "He has seen you as an equal for a long time. It is his Empire, his people, that will not. And if you wish to come with Zim...you must prove yourself to the Irken people. Prove that you are worthy of joining our ranks and mingling with our superior species. Which shouldn't be too difficult." Zim glanced in Dib's direction with half-lidded eyes, looking mildly amused. "We tend to get notoriously lazy and sloppy with our work over time, especially if there's no one there to impress or one-up. Perhaps having an outsider in the mix will motivate some of Zim's laziest staff to pick up the pace and get it in gear to avoid being outdone by an alien."

 

[Dip]

The snarling should have been the thing to make Dib stop talking. The growling should have made Dib shut up. Dib was blinded by rage and anger and had paid the price with second-hand embarrassment. He hadn't realized that his life was in danger until the SIR unit had broken up the two, and Dib looked to see Zim writhing with anger. The Irken turned around and shuffled away, and Dib placed a hand on his heart as he tried to make it still again.

The way GIR talked was always super uplifting and happy, but... Dib had never done anything to disappoint the robot. Sure, he had seen the alien software spew alligator-like tears down his metallic cheeks, but never in complete seriousness. Dib looked down to the ground as GIR talked to him. How broken was broken? Dib didn't understand what could be broken about Zim.

He had an empire to control. He had fleets at his whim. He had everything an alien creature could ever want, right? Their race strived for greatness, and Dib couldn't see the bad that could come from that. He thought back to what the Irken had said about his leaders betraying him, but what did that matter now? Zim was the leader. If anyone betrayed Zim, they wouldn't live to see the next day.

Dib gulped. They wouldn't live to see the next day.

Zim turned his smooth, flat head back at Dib, and the words the other spoke struck him like a chord. "You will never ever be my equal." Dib had known that the other had added 'not in the eyes of Zim's people,' at the end of his phrase, but that didn't matter. Dib didn't know why he was so bothered by that statement, and he turned his gaze away. His outburst wasn't appropriate, he knew that, but he wanted to get some things clear.

It didn't help that Dib wasn't even considered a plaything in the eyes of the monarch. Dib continued to look down. Never be his equal. Maybe that phrase bothered him so much because even when the whole school hated both Zim and Dib, Zim was always hated less. Zim was even considered the cool kid. Zim and Dib were never equal. Dib looked back up to meet the magenta gaze of the other and listened to the three rules he had to agree by. The fact that Zim was even still letting him onto his ship was amazing. Dib guessed that Zim must have liked him, at least a little bit.

Denounce his loyalty? Well, that was already done. Dib thought quickly about what his father and sister would do if they realized that Dib was considering whether or not to go through with this. Dib wondered what his family would do if they realized that Dib had vanished without a trace... Dib would have to stop by and give his goodbyes.

He wondered if he was able to use his personal devices. Surely aliens had some kind of internet access, right? He could call or message them, or something. Dib stopped himself before he could jump ahead to any more ideas. He hadn't agreed yet. Dib turned his attention back to the Irken invader and wondered about the PAK. Was it optional? Those things... looked like they hurt. A lot. Dib had studied the PAK system quite a bit in his early days of alien investigating and he had come to the conclusion that the PAKs were more trouble than they're worth.

Decontaminated, vaccinated and tested? That was another walk in the park. There was going to be nothing hard about doing either of those three... While GIR had spoken a little about the decontamination process and how it was unpleasant, he figured that it'd be better comparatively than getting a PAK surgically attached to one's body. When Zim mentioned the Massive's Planetary Investigation Team, Dib was instantly interested. Dib had a feeling that it wouldn't be any different than the human way of investigating, and he was sure that there would be nothing to it.

Dib wondered why on Earth Zim was still even considering boarding him after the fiasco he had caused. If Dib was in Zim's place, Zim would not be within twenty feet of this place.

The third option seemed the hardest of them all: Respect authority. You're not equal. While Dib was not the kind of challenge authority on a daily basis, he had been known to question power. Dib liked getting things done his own way, and working with a team of people wasn't his forte. Not to mention, working with an entire new culture and species of being he had very little clue about.

Zim turned away, and so did Dib. The choices seemed obvious, but this was all just... bigger than life. Bigger than any human's life. Everything seemed so exciting and new, but... spending this new time with your nemesis? Being requested to fix your enemy? Dib questioned if he was really willing to serve in a military with people he knew nothing about.

He could go home right now. Dib could walk home, and stay there. He could wait and go to college in the fall. He could still run The Network from the comfort of his home. He could live with people he tolerated and stay in the same town he had grown to love. He could do all that, or he could shove off on a dangerous journey across space and time with someone who would rather kill him dead, and serve an entire culture founded on conquering. He could subsequently meet new strange beings who hated Dib as much as the humans have hated him.

He was thinking his options to himself silently before the silents was broken.

"Zim already sees you as an equal."

Somehow... that calmed his fried nerves. Dib looked at the tall being and knew he could one-up anyone he wanted. He had done it to Zim for a long, long time. He had one-uped everyone in his entire life and continued to do so. He just had by challenging Zim! Dib looked back down at himself and inhaled slowly. Was he ready to leave humanity?

Humans were beautiful. Humans were glorious. Humanity, on the other hand, was a shitshow. Humanity had failed him so many times, but humans were just so... amazing. Was Dib ready to leave behind and an entire culture of people? Was he ready to leave the customs he had learned? Was he ready to face the cold, harsh climates of outer space?

Dib wasn't ready. He looked up and spoke.

"...I'll do it."

Dib... was probably not as ready as he could be.

 

[Mira-Charma13]

GIR reacted to Dib's acceptance of the extended offer first. He squealed like a fangirl meeting her favorite rock star in person at a concert and began running around in rapid circles. Zim watched him for a few moments, his thick antennae perked and his expression contemplative at best. GIR was certainly a strange one, wasn't he? Perhaps he was under the impression that since Dib was from Earth he'd be willing to do all the Earth things he never got the chance to do anymore with him.

Zim shifted his weight from one leg to the other, his large eyes closely scrutinizing the human's expression as GIR's giggling and babbling carried on in the background. "Are you certain?" The Irken monarch seemed a bit doubtful. He could sense that Dib wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea, though he couldn't imagine what could possibly be making him think twice about it all. "You may never get the chance to return once we depart. Planet Earth is a fair distance away from...well...just about everything else. I traveled for many months to reach this planet the first time around, and I only ran into a choice couple of planets that supported any form of life."

It was no wonder, really, that Earth was so cut off from the rest of the Known Universe and had yet to interact with or confirm the existence of extraterrestrial beings. It was situated in an isolated little nook of the universe--a place previously considered to be a desert wasteland completely devoid of life and any useful materials.

"How about this?" The gangling Irken folded his arms behind his back. "I will return to the Armada for now. They're all anxious to get moving again, but I think I can stall them for...I don't know--three days or so? Would that be enough time for you to tie up loose ends and whatnot, Dib-human? Or should I press for more time?"

He figured that the Dib would want to bid his family unit farewell, at the very least. From the time he spent on Earth Zim had learned that the family unit was very important to humans, even if the relationship with the family unit was strained and unpleasant. He didn't quite grasp all of that, though. Irkens didn't have family units like humans did.

"Oh...yes..." Zim drifted backward, making his way back to that raised circular platform. "Because Zim does consider you to be an equal...he would very much appreciate a bit of help when it comes to Empire issues. Such as..." He waved one hand around in the air. "Advice on how best to proceed, help organizing things, sensitive stuff relating to Invasion Operations and the best use for conquered planets...stuff like that. Zim's Head of the Council already assists him with things like that, but he's overworked as it is. Both he and I would appreciate the help."

As Dib would surely learn over time, Zim trusted very few creatures. Skoodge and GIR were pretty high on that list, but GIR was too incompetent to help with official Empire business. Poor Skoodge worked himself to the bone every single day with little to no help from Zim--government stuff simply wasn't Zim's forte. The impatient Tallest simply couldn't sit still for any extended period of time. He loathed the weekly meeting he had to suffer through every week and would often stare out of the window that boasted stunning views of space for at least three quarters of them. He barely paid attention and instead relied heavily on Skoodge to take detailed notes about everything that was said for him.

"I should probably introduce you to Skoodge before you set foot on the Massive." Zim sounded the slightest bit reluctant. Skoodge was likely to be Dib's biggest critic for a while, at least until the two of them got used to each other. "He was not enthusiastic about my decision to divert the Armada to fetch you, but he must have realized how much this journey meant to me at some point along the way. I think I'll force him to tag along if the whole 'three days to tidy up' plan works for you."

There was a brief pause as Zim chose his next words as carefully as he could. "The Irken race is known for being especially brutal, unpleasant, and unwelcoming to members of other races. If Zim is not present and they feel they may be able to get away with it, they may try to push some boundaries with you. Skoodge is always darting from place to place. Zim would feel a lot safer if you were to try being civil with Skoodge. He may not look imposing, but he is a highly decorated former Invader and an excellent soldier. And he also despises bullying. So...he can swoop in to the rescue if Zim is unable to do so. He can also give you proper military and combat training when you both have spare time. The Dib will need such training if he intends to match up physically with Zim's people."

Irkens were small, but deadly creatures--fast as lightning! Every single Irken was forced to undergo military training during his or her academy years, even if they didn't want a lifelong career in the military.

 

[Dip]

GIR's squealing made Dib feel as if he had made the right choice. Just... something about being wanted by the robot made Dib feel better about the situation. Zim continued to talk, and it entirely ruined what GIR had done for Dib. Never to return... was he ready for that? Dib had initially thought that there would be a finite area to explore, but... space is ever expanding in every direction constantly. Earth was just an arm on the body that was the Milky Way galaxy, but there were hundreds--billions--trillions of galaxies within the empty void of space.

As Dib thought about the human anatomy within the confides of space, he became aware of what may happen. In space, astronauts lose fluid volume—including up to 22% of their blood volume. Because it has less blood to pump, Dib's heart could atrophy. Other significant effects include a slowing of cardiovascular system functions, decreased production of red blood cells, balance disorders, eyesight disorders and a weakening of the immune system. Space is a dangerous, unfriendly place! Isolated from family and friends, exposed to radiation that could increase Dib's lifetime risk for cancer, a diet high in freeze-dried food, a required daily exercise to keep his muscles and bones from deteriorating...

But Zim's mention of vaccinations and tests would surely look at all of this issues, right? Humans were very... fleshy, tender meat-bags, that demanded very particular environments. Dib was pulled from his thought-provoking conversation of one when Zim began his bargaining. Dib felt a collection of anxiety lift from his shoulders, and he felt instantly better. "Three days?" Dib rolled those words around in his mouth, looking down to figure out exactly what he had to do. "I... need to pack." Important things. Things that would come in handy for Dib. "I need to say goodbye," Dib was mostly talking to himself, creating a list in his head. Dib looked up to Zim. Three days was really generous, but Dib didn't think he needed that long.

While Dib would love to spend three days with his family, he understood that... that just wasn't how his family functioned. They would get bored of each other's company after a short period and grow anxious to do something different. His father was especially guilty of this, and Dib would feel his time would be better used if he had less of it. Just enough time to spend with his father and sister, and the rest would be used to pack. Dib was making a list of things he would need to take, which included notes he had taken on the Irken people at a young age. That would come in handy, right?

"I only need twelve hours..." Dib spoke again to himself before he looked back at the Irken monarch. "Twelve hours is enough." Dib didn't have friends he had to say goodbye to, but he had to reassign a new leader to The Swollen Eyeball Network, which wouldn't be that hard. He'd just pull the name out of a hat, and that'd be as good as that. The Irken leader mentioned help in fields that differed than Investigation, Dib wondered if he would need serious guidance.

Zim mentioned an introduction, and Dib could only gather that the being Skoodge was Zim's second in command. What kind of a name was Skoodge? But, then again... what kind of name was Dib? Well, Dib certainly wasn't as bad as Skoodge, he could gather that much. Zim continued to talk about various Irkens and the collective Irken people. Dib listened intently, and could agree with that Zim had said.

The Irken race being brutal, unpleasant, and unwelcoming? Well, Dib had met Zim and that was entirely true. He had come into contact with Tak, and their short meeting could be described in short with those three words. If they were anything like humans, Dib wouldn't last a day. But Dib would much rather have the company of a hundred versions of the most annoying version of Zim than a single human. Zim talked about forming an alliance with the decorated war vet, and Dib wondered how he should get around to that. It would indeed prove to be a challenge...

This entire situation would prove to be a challenge... But Dib felt confident in himself. The military aspect sounded like something he would have to get used to, but other than that... all of these sounded like stuff he would be able to accomplish.

 

[Mira-Charma13]

Zim perked up all of a sudden, his antennae bouncing with the movement. "Oh, Zim can assist you with packing! He prepared something in advance." He extended one arm upward, wiggling his fingers insistently. "Computer! Give me the thing!" "The thing?" the AI echoed, sounding mildly confused. "The cube thing!" Zim elaborated. "Oh. That thing. Locating..." A couple of seconds later a mechanical arm dropped down from a panel in the ceiling and deposited a plain-looking metal cube into Zim's hand. The Irken monarch turned the cube this way and that to show it to Dib.

"It's a Storage Cube. Once you've finished packing, you aim this tiny opening on the top at the things you want to store..." To demonstrate, Zim aimed that little opening at GIR--GIR squealed and braced himself, looking excited. "And you press the big red button. Press!" When he pressed that button a beam of red light shot out and struck GIR, enveloping him in the light. His form became fuzzy and then faded away into the light. The light popped back into the cube. "And when you are ready to unpack...aim the same opening at the spot you want your stuff to appear in and press the big blue button. Press!" A simple press of this button produced a blue light. GIR's fuzzy form appeared in the same spot and then rapidly popped back into existence. GIR laughed and waved his arms around as the blue light retracted back into the cube.

Zim sniffed and offered the cube to the human. "Just don't let any other human beasts see you using it. I'd rather not have our superior technology reverse-engineered." By bestowing this item upon Dib, Zim was putting a great deal of trust in him not to expose a single detail about his Empire to his human peers. Not that he thought the other would at this point. He was offering him a dream job in a dream location!

"Twelve hours is acceptable." The Irken leader stepped off of the circular platform. His movements seemed slower and less graceful when he didn't opt to use the hover belt. Earth's gravity was unfamiliar to him after all of this time and his severely skinny frame didn't make things any easier. "A trip between planet Earth and the place I have hidden the Armada takes about an hour, so two hours for a round trip. I will leave immediately, the moment you disappear into the trees, to prepare for your arrival and fetch Skoodge. You and GIR will both have to be decontaminated before setting foot on the Massive."

GIR whined in protest, but Zim paid him no mind. He was used to his SIR whining and crying crocodile tears in an attempt to get his way.

"You will also need a physical to determine your state of health and some very important vaccinations against dangerous and lethal diseases before you can enter the Massive, Dib-thing. If you could, perhaps, bring a record of your past vaccinations and medical history, that would help quite a bit in speeding the process along. If possible..."

Zim tilted his head to the right, hoping that Dib wouldn't get offended or suspicious about this one. "A vial of blood from your person would also help. Life on an Irken ship will differ exponentially from a sedentary life on a planet like Earth. Blood tells a story of its own--from it we can determine what you are allergic to and what things and environmental conditions can poison you or make you deathly ill. Recipes for Earth food and a nutrition guide for keeping a human healthy will benefit you as well. Zim already knows that our diets differ greatly, and he will have you taste-test some different foods as soon as you've settled in."

GIR oohed and ahhed, sounding interested. Anything having to do with food fascinated GIR, after all. And he did love Earth food, so maybe he'd be able to help the Irken Chefs prepare food that was similar to Earth food.

"There is an extra room beside Zim's that you can claim as your own," the Irken monarch continued, trying his best not to look hopeful. "Because there were two Tallests prior, there are two Tallest chambers in the Massive. One is now Zim's and the other has not been used in a long, long time. While it does have a cleansing room, what you humans refer to as a bathroom, it has no toilet...but Zim can have this installed in a day. Irkens have no need to use a toilet. There are only a sparse few around the Massive for non-Irken workers--Zim will let you know where these are before we get there. And once you are completely settled in...either myself or Skoodge can give you a tour of the premises. It will take some time, and you will have to use fast-travel walkways to get from place to place. The Massive is, well...massive. To put it into perspective, it is taller than your planet Pluto and about as wide as your country Russia at its widest point."

It wasn't called the Massive for nothing!

 

[Dip]

The deployment of... The Thing was rather theatrical, and it was something that Dib had expected from Zim. Some things never change. Dib watched as Zim showed the cube off, and Dib took a step forward to look at it closer. That was... amazing. More than amazing, really. It was unbelievable! Something that could condense pure matter into a finite space, and transport it into a separate location without any of it's particles ruined?

Dib could hardly believe that something like that could exist, but then again, the universe was endless. Endless possibilities. Endless devices. Dib slowly took the device into his hands, and felt the smooth, cold metal. He twisted it around in his hands like a Rubix cube, inspecting everything that he could. He looked into the opening of the box, traced a finger around the buttons, and carefully placed it inside his pocket.

At the sound of reverse-engineering, Dib sighed. Not because he was disappointed that another human couldn't do it, he was disappointed that he couldn't do it. Dib would love to talk a walk around that alien technology, but... he had a feeling that he would have plenty of time to do that. Zim mentioned the plan, and it sounded... good. It sounded like a good plan, and there wasn't anything that Dib would change about it. He nodded in agreement, and looked to his wrist.

He had a watch attached to his right wrist, and he used his left hand to set the proper programs in place. Dib had fabricated his watch when he was younger, and had done plenty to make sure that it hs been working continuously over the course of years. He put in place a timer, that would count down one hour, which would alert Dib when Zim reached his destination. He set a second one to alarm an hour afterward, and he set a third one to alarm after the course of twelve hours. All three timers would start at the same time when Dib pressed a single button. The Human put his arm down, and looked back up at the alien before him.

Dib looked towards GIR at the sound of the decontamination process, and Dib wondered if it would hurt as bad as GIR had made it sound. At the sound of medical history, Dib seriously doubted that his personal medical history would come in handy. Was HIV a universal illness? Did social anxiety surpass the human race? Did Irkens suffer from the common cold? MMR? Chicken Pox? Flu? But, then again, Zim knew his empire better than Dib could ever wish, and he made a personal note.

At the request of blood, Dib grew a little nervous. That would prove more difficult to get than the medical records, but... Dib would try his best. Dib was sure he didn't need to bring that along, because the Earth medical data should be able to tell any illnesses that he may have or any allergies that he would suffer from when it came to blood-borne pathogens. Dib knew he never had malaria or any sort of anemia... But, again, Dib liked to think that the Almighty Irken knew what he was talking about.

At the sound of food, Dib was sure something very alien was going to be done with his diet. Dib had medical dictionaries that he could possibly bring, and he knew his father could help with anything if he asked him...

But how the hell do you ask something questions like this?

'Hey dad, can you help me extract an ounce of blood from my body? Aliens want it. Also, do you have every single record of my medical history on hand? Aliens want that, too, because they're going to perform a physical on me and don't want to work too hard. And one more thing, do you have any dietary aids for human beings? As you know, I have an awful time of eating right. And while I'm asking you all of these strange and totally normal questions, I'm here to tell you that I'm leaving with the aliens who wanted my blood and I'll never return back to Earth. Also, Dad, I took your lunch for today and I'm having an affair with the tooth-fairy.'

Dib knew how well that entire conversation would go over...

Dib listened to the description of the space ship, and wondered how any of that would be possible. Dib was sure he was exaggerating the size of the ship, as he always had previously. The bathroom situation would be interesting to figure out, and at the sound of non-Irken workers, Dib grew curious. Perhaps he would have a few friends anyway. Dib could see himself mingling with the non-Irkens, learning about their own culture and beings.

Dib nodded at all of this, and looked down to the floor. This was all... happening so fast. Dib had never been given an offer like this in his life-- no human had ever been given an offer life this at all! Dib felt honored, but still... he couldn't shake the argument he had with Zim earlier. Dib hoped that every conversation he would have with the monarch wouldn't be that tense. It didn't feel like his childhood bickering, it felt... ugly.

Dib turned back to the monarch, and looked to his watch. It was hard to believe that it was still only crawling into the evening, the conversation alluded to much darker times. Dib pushed his wrist back down to the side of himself, and turned back. He had twelve hours, and that meant that he'd be back to the ship sometime at five in the morning. That would be plenty of time to get everything ready. Dib had no clue what to say after being dumped all of this information.

"Okay." Dib said simply. He continued quickly. "Okay, Zim. I'll return within twelve hours time, with as many supplies as I can collect." Dib turned around on his heels, and felt very loud as his boots clicked quietly on the hard ground before him. Dib stopped and turned back around to face the alien. "I'm sorry." That was all he could think to say within the moment.

Dib turned back around and exited the large domed room silently. He grabbed his backpack from the ground, and hoisted it over his shoulder as he made his way to exited the forgien space craft. Down the hall, and towards the right.... Was Dib really going to go through with this?

Dib took a deep breath... Yes, he was.

 

[Mira-Charma13]

The fascination that danced within the human's eyes as he watched the Storage Cube at work seemed to considerably brighten Zim's mood. The last remaining bits of tension bled out from his posture and he definitely seemed to be feeling more relaxed now. GIR took notice of his master's sudden good mood and, in turn, that put him in a good mood too. While he imagined that the first week or so aboard the Massive would be an enthralling new experience for Dib, it would be important for the human not to allow his curiosity to get the better of him. The other Irkens would not be pleased to have him among their ranks, especially not at first, and would be constantly pushing boundaries with both him and their fledgling Tallest.

But that rampant curiosity of Dib's was a good thing, especially if he did end up becoming a part of the Planetary Investigation Team. He would learn and catch on faster than any other member of his race might. Zim was wholly confident that his old nemesis would fit right in once he got the hang of everything!

"If you cannot manage to draw blood by yourself, Zim can have his best Irken Medic do so for you," Zim offered, though he sounded a little hesitant. "But you will have to guide them to where the blood is. I was never well-versed in human anatomy, and as such my people know next to nothing about human anatomy. I...don't want you to accidentally be harmed. Which is why I would prefer that you do this thing yourself...but if you can't, you'll just have to carefully direct my Medic to the proper spot."

Genuine concern weighed heavy in his voice. He was worried about Dib. The last thing he wanted was to injure him, especially as he was just beginning his new journey!

GIR jumped forward after his master finished speaking, looking positively ecstatic. "Hey, heeeeey! Bring any music stuff or video games or art you might have with you, big-headed boy!" he requested cheerfully. "Ah, yes..." Zim's antennae twitched. "That would be a good idea. Irkens love music and games of any kind. Artwork may also interest them." Anything Dib could do to win any of the other Irkens over was a good idea. The smoother his initial transition was, the more impressed the Irken populace would be with him.

Zim bowed his head somewhat. "I will be waiting for you in this exact spot with Skoodge. Remember the coordinates." He was about to turn away, but paused when the human spun back around and apologized in a soft voice. The Irken monarch hummed, turning slowly and facing away from him. "I understand," was all he said in return. And it was true. He understood why Dib got angry with him. He understood that he'd left him here, all alone, and that was probably hard on him. He understood that there was still some manner of animosity between them and it would probably always be that way.

But Zim was hoping that someday, somehow, everything would be all right again.

---

As promised, twelve hours later the impressive Ring Cutter was back in the same exact place. The cloaking device was in place, making the ship invisible, but Zim had GIR tied to a tree in his doggy disguise just outside so that Dib wouldn't miss it. Though Zim went to great lengths to keep the ship concealed from view, the voices echoing out from within might have given his position away to any passerby anyway.

"This is a funny-looking planet." This voice was slightly nasally.

"Oh, I'm well aware." This voice clearly belonged to Zim. "Don't forget that I spent a good amount of time here in the past."

"What are all these big green things for?" the nasally voice asked, sounding utterly perplexed.

"Ehh..."

"They're called trees," the deep voice of Zim's Computer answered simply. "They pump out oxygen into the air so the Earth creatures can breathe."

"Oh. Well, uh...that's kind of weird. It's all so green."

"There's a lot of green," Zim explained, sounding rather bored. "And the sky is blue during the daytime."

"Blue?" The nasally voice sounded shocked. "Why blue?"

"The oceans."

"Planet Earth is seventy percent water."

"Seventy percent?!"

"Indeed. But most of it is not good to drink. It's all salty and unappetizing."

"That's pretty weird. This is such a strange alien planet."[/hr]

 

[Dip]

Dib walked quickly through the streets of the dimming city. The sun was setting, and the warm summer's breeze had chilled. Dib shuttered, walking quickly. He felt like he had spent years aboard the small spacecraft, and he felt like he had exited onto a foreign planet, but... He was still home. Dib hadn't left yet. Dib tucked his hands deep into his pocket and felt the knife he had pathetically tried to arm himself with. He felt guilty, but he knew that the knife would come in handy somehow.

The walk back to his house was quicker than the walk to the forest, and it would be quicker to walk back without the robotic alien creature. Dib walked briskly through the town, thinking quietly to himself. He thought about various things on his way home, but he mostly thought about how he'd approach the subject of leaving and never coming back.

Would he lie? Would he tell the truth? His family had never believed him before, so lying was just as good as the truth. But Dib felt that he'd never be able to forgive himself if he left Earth as a lie. But what if his family did believe him? While Gaz could care less about what Dib would do, his father... Dib sighed. His father was just human, and could do nothing.

They were all just human.

---

Dib crossed the threshold into his house, and pushed open the door. The lights were turned on, which was a good sign that there was movement inside the house. Dib took his backpack off of his shoulders, and placed it onto the floor of the house. He felt the warmth of the heater and sighed. He would miss the simple pleasures of Earth.

Dib walked a short distance up the stairs, skipping one step as he lept two steps at a time. "Gaz!" Dib yelled, "Gaz! Are you home?"

There was a muffled groaning when Dib reached the top of the steps, and Dib made his way to his little sister's room. The human rapped at the door, before he heard more groaning from the other side. Dib pushed the door open to see his sister mindlessly indulging herself in her Game Slave.

"Gaz?" Dib started slowly.

"What do you want?" Gaz snarled.

"I want to talk to you-- I need to talk to you. About something important."

Gaz flicked the system off and stared up at the ceiling with a tone of annoyance. "This better be important, Dib." She stopped, and turned to him. "You're mad about something, aren't you?" She started quickly. "Yeah.... You're mad that Dad and I didn't show up to your stupid graduation."

"What? You took my car? Ugh, Gaz, no, that's not it--"

"You're mad because I took your car earlier today."

"You what? Well, now I'm mad about that, but--"

"You're mad that I guessed the password to your computer again, aren't y--"

"Gaz. Shut up. For two minutes." Dib raised his voice, rubbing his temples. This was a daily occurrence, and they have just gotten worse over the course of their childhood. Gaz looked at him with one open eye, and growled under her breath. Dib continued. "Gaz, I'm leaving."

Gaz glared at him and spoke through gritted teeth. "I know. I'm not an idiot like you are, Dib. I already know that you're going to go to college, and you're going to drop out and chase zombies for the rest of your life, or whatever you plan on doing for the rest of your pathetic lonely existence."

"No, I'm leaving now." Dib said. "For good, Gaz. I'm not coming back."

Gaz was silent for a moment. "Why?"

Dib knew that Gaz knew about Zim's true identity, but she would never believe that he had come back. Never in a million years. Dib wasn't sure if the truth was worth it at this moment. "I got offered a job." Dib started slowly. "It's an offer I can't refuse. I've started packing already," That was a lie, but packing wasn't something he was entirely worried about. He touched his pocket gently, feeling the smooth surface of the cube through his trench coat. "I start as soon as I get some... medical supplies ready."

Gaz closed her eye and grew quiet, and sat up. "Does dad know?"

Dib shook his head. "I... am taking a plane to my new location in... twelve hours." He tried slowly. None of this sounded believable, and Gaz could see he was lying.

"Ha, ha." Gaz started. "Very funny, but you can't fool me, Dib. I heard you the other day talking to some college idiots. You don't leave until the fall."

Dib opened his mouth to speak, but was silent. He closed his mouth again, and sighed. Talking to his sister always infuriated him. "I'm not going to college, okay? I'm taking this job, Gaz. I didn't tell dad because he'd be... disappointed."

"What is your 'job', exactly?"

Dib, once again, was silent. He picked something believable and ran with it. "I got offered a job by a global Investigating unit that films for Mysterious Mysteries, okay?" Gaz's eyebrows lifted up slowly. Did she believe him? " I'll be investigating... all over the world."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're my sister? And I care about you?" That was a dumb question.

Gaz was silent. "You're telling me because you feel guilty for leaving."

Dib stopped. She... was dead on. Dib felt himself in the same position as Zim all those years ago. "Yeah," He started, in disbelief. "I feel guilty." He said to himself.

Dib and Gaz were silent for a long time before Gaz stood up, and did the most human thing imaginable. The human girl hugged her older brother, and Dib hugged back tightly. He pet his sister's hair gently. It's been a long time since he had a hug from his sister, but it felt good. Dib sighed, and spoke quietly. "Can I hang out with you? While you play your games, or something? I have to sort some things out before I leave."

"Fine," Gaz started, and let go of her older brother. She punched him in the stomach tenderly, and laughed. "Just don't stink up my room."

Dib smiled, walked out of the room to grab a few things. Dib remembered that the robot and the alien mentioned something about music and art, so Dib began the arduous task of downloading as many songs that he could. Dib had made a small work-station in the middle of Gaz's floor, and worked diligently. If he liked one song from one singer, he downloaded every single song they ever made. It wasn't just music, though. He downloaded audio books, podcasts on the paranormal, and even a few movies. He downloaded as much he could before he ran out of storage on his phone and portable computer.

He worked, and took a few breaks to talk with his sister about various things. Movies, TV shows, video games, and the like. They even ordered a few pizzas to share with his sister, and he loved the closeness of his sibling. He wished that he had spent this much time with Gaz just a while before.

Dib worked late into the night, until he heard the soft breathing of his baby sister. Dib closed his computer, and turned to his sister. She looked less threatening asleep. Dib sighed, and walked out of the room with his technology under his arm. The human genius walked into his room, and placed his computer onto his bed. He thought about packing quickly, but he knew that it wasn't time yet. Dib looked at his watch. Zim had made his journey back to his fleet, and had come back to Earth. He had about eight hours to get everything ready.

The human exited his room quietly, and walked down the flight of stairs into his living room. The human walked down another flight of stairs, and found himself in the basement-- his father's lab. His father was gone, per the norm, for a science expedtion somewhere in Germany... or was it Russia? Wherever he was, he was far away, and wouldn't be home to see his oldest son leave the planet.

Dib took it upon himself to dig through his father's stuff.

Dib knew that his father saved every piece of information on his children, and the only problem was finding where this information was. It took a good forty-five minutes for him to dig through file after file before he found his personal file. Dib looked through it to see if everything was there that Dib needed to collect. He sighed as he flipped through the pages of pages of medical information, personal information, vaccinations, blood type, and various other information that may or may not prove useful.

Now came the task of collecting blood... Dib looked about the lab, and saw various medical equipment, and felt his heart drop down into his stomach. Dib knew that it would be better to extract his own blood than to have an alien. Dib wandered about a table near the back side of the basement as he looked for something, anything... Dib, as he walked through the basement, managed upon a plethora of medical dictionaries and encyclopedias on human health, human diet, illnesses, bodily functions, and the like. He took all he could carry, and placed them on the side of a relatively empty table. Dib grabbed a book entitled 'The Practical Medical Guide for Scientists and Nurses' and flipped through the book quickly, finding all he could about extracting blood.

The entire extraction process took two and a half hours of pep-talk and rereading, but when he extracted just an ounce, he felt like he had taken an entire pint out of his body. Dib put a cork on top of a test-tube, a bandage over his painful wound, and sealed both tightly. Dib grabbed his books, his files, and his blood, and traveled up two more flights of stairs into his room.

Dib placed the books he needed in a large pile on one side of the room, he placed all the technology he needed next to it, and continued in piles until every single thing of value was stripped and placed on the floor. Dib pulled out the cube, and began packing. He had fun packing, and the entire process took a good sum of twenty minutes. Dib wasn't sure if he possibly overpacked, but he certainly packed plenty that he needed. He packed all of his clothes, a medium bookshelf, and plenty of blankets. There would be a bed and a place to put clothes, right? He assumed so. If there wasn't, he'd improvise.

Dib checked his watch, and felt he had made good time. He would be visiting Zim a few hours early. Dib tucked the cube into his backpack, and shoved his files and books into there afterward. He wasn't quite sure what he was to do with the blood, so he kept it in his pocket with the knife.

Dib walked quietly into his sister's room, and kissed her sleeping forhead. He wiped his mouth, vowing never to do that again. He walked quietly out of the room. Quietly down the stairs. Quietly out of the house. Quietly through the town. Quietly into the outskirts. Quietly into the dark woods.

 

[Mira-Charma13]

It was GIR who spotted Dib in the distance first. At his master's request, he was only allowed to his his thermal vision mode until Dib was spotted and safely ushered inside the ship. He was in the middle of watching a pair of lovestruck squirrels chasing each other up and down an oak tree a short distance away when a large and unnatural heat signal blocked them from view. At first he was annoyed that the big hot something was blocking his view of those cute little squirrel things, but when his optics zoomed out his annoyance quickly morphed into joy.

"Master, master!" He danced around like a madman. "The big-headed boy is coming!" "Ehh? Already?" Zim sounded surprised. "The Dib is several hours early! Computer, deactivate the ship's cloaking system!" "Ugh...why bother? You're just going to make me activate it all over again." "You will obey your master!" "Fine, fine--whatever. Cloaking system deactivated." That same shrill squealing sound pierced the silent air and within seconds the entire ship was visible again.

Zim hovered his way to the top of the ramp. Just like his impressive Irken ship, he looked totally out of place in this serene woodland setting. He bowed his head slightly as a silent greeting to Dib. "Welcome back, Dib-human. Did you have any trouble packing your necessary things and leaving?" He hesitated briefly. "You did bid your family unit farewell, yes?"

"You didn't tell your family unit the actual reason why you're living, did you, Earth thing?"

The disembodied voice came from somewhere behind Zim. Its owner was revealed a moment later when another creature shuffled out from behind the Tallest's long, flowing skirt. It was another Irken; obviously a male judging by the lack of exquisite curls in the antennae. He was incredibly small, about the same size Zim was when he first set foot on planet Earth, as well as rotund and round in shape. His magenta eyes were small and widely set apart. His attire differed from Zim's past and present garb--an official-looking violet robe covered him from head to foot. It had no sleeves and was split and bare in the front from the waist down, revealing in both places dark and light purple striped armor underneath. Sadly, the official attire didn't do much to make him look intimidating. He looked soft and pudgy and not at all threatening.

Zim motioned to him without even glancing at him. "This is Skoodge, my Head of Council and my most trusted Advisor." Skoodge's antennae, which were half as long as Zim's, bounced as he was introduced, though he didn't offer a verbal greeting. He was too busy closely scrutinizing Dib's form and memorizing every detail.

"You can come back now, GIR." "Hooray!" With very little effort GIR snapped the metal wire that bound him to a nearby pine tree and bolted back to the ship at mach speed. He squeezed by Zim and Skoodge--who cautiously leaned away from the apocalypse on legs--and the little tapping sounds his feet made on the floor suggested that he shed his disguise for the very last time as soon as he was out of sight.

"Are you absolutely certain that you're ready to leave?" Zim paid close attention to the human's expression as he asked this question. "There is nothing left, nothing at all, that you would like to do? If so..." He backed up, leaving space for Dib to walk up the ramp and into the Ring Cutter. "We should leave now, before the vast majority of the humans wake from their slumbers. There is less of a chance that we will be detected if we take off before the humans come out in droves."

Skoodge stepped back as well, respectfully making space for the human to walk through and by the two of them. He seemed much less at ease than his leader was, with his muscles tensed up, antennae pressed back, and shoulders higher than normal. Evidently, he wasn't too keen on welcoming an outsider into their ranks. Zim was the leader of one of the most respected and reviled Empires in the Known Universe, and assassination attempts came often and unexpectedly. He knew that this Earth beast meant something to Zim, but he wasn't sure just how deep that relationship was.

Earning Skoodge's complete trust would be difficult, but well worth it in the long run. If one Irken trusted an outsider, more would eventually come to see that outsider in the same way.

"You don't have any kind of space suit, do you, Earth creature?" Skoodge piped up all of a sudden. "We'll have to keep that in mind. Our PAKs make invisible space suits for us, see. We're going to have to be careful moving from ship to ship once we get back to the Armada." Zim shrugged, looking like he wasn't even worried about it. "We'll use a transport stretcher for now," was his simple answer to everything. "Confined and uncomfortable, yes, but the move from ship to ship won't take all that long anyway."

Skoodge didn't seem thrilled about that prospect. "That's inconvenient. You've arranged for him to get a PAK sometime, right?" "Zim figured we would just set a course for Irk right away," the Tallest revealed nonchalantly. "That is where we started this detour anyway. A Control Brain can fit the modified PAK there." "But is there a modified PAK ready?" Skoodge pressed, sounding awfully suspicious. Zim shifted his weight from one foot to the other and flashed his Advisor a sheepish smile. Skoodge sighed, much like an exhausted mother dealing with sass from her unruly toddler. "Yep. Didn't think so. I'll send word to Irk beforehand, then. The modifications should be done by the time we get back. You've gotta remember to do this stuff yourself!"

It didn't sound like Zim was a very responsible leader. But that wasn't too surprising. He wasn't the most diligent of Invaders, either, often forgetting to do things and failing to listen at the most important of times.

 

[Dip]

At the sound of GIR's shrill screaming, Dib tensed up and nearly ran the other direction. When he realized it was only the SIR unit, Dib let go of the breath he had held. Dib followed the robot to the front of the ship, and watched as the cloaking device shut itself off. It was amazing, actually. He had seen this happen on a smaller level, but something this big was just... incredible.

Dib approached the ship and saw his old nemesis at the top of the purple ramp. Everything had to be theatrical, didn't it? "I said my goodbyes, yes." Dib responded. He said... most of them. He had left a note for his father on his old, sheetless bed before he left. That note retold the lie that he had told Gaz.

Dib looked up and saw an armor-clad... tubby, Irken. That was Zim's second in command? Zim had made him sound so... so much more intimidating. In fact, the little alien looked a little adorable in his little armor. Dib caught himself, and stopped those thoughts quickly. There was a reason this Irken-- Skoodge-- had hated bullying. The little alien had already heard all of Dib's thoughts come mouths of other Irkens, he was sure. "They wouldn't believe me if I did." The human responded.

Dib felt uncomfortable as the other alien investigated him closely, and turned to watch the alien software stumble himself onto the ship. Dib was sure that he had every single thing that he needed, and more so. He was ready. He was ready. Dib didn't say anything more about needing to say goodbye, or anything about collecting whatever he needed. He marched himself onto the ship.

He heard the other bring up the question of a space-suit, and Dib blanked. Was he suppose to bring one? "Uhhm," He started until Zim covered for him. Dib listened in on their back and forth conversation, and wondered gently... how much was getting this PAK going to hurt? He hoped that it would just be a pinch, and that'd be that. Well, he would figure that out later, he guessed. Six months from now, he'd deal with that.

Dib looked at Zim carefully out of the corner of his eye, and wondered whatever compelled him to become the leader. Dib knew he was angry at his former leaders, but... was that it? Zim was known for doing spurr-of-the-moment type stuff, but this... this seemed a little too much. Dib had no idea how Zim never felt over-whelmed or over-stimulated.

 

[Mira-Charma13]

Once Dib was safely inside, the ramp retracted by itself and the panel slammed shut behind him with a loud 'shink' sound. Zim hovered his way back down the hallway, toward the bridge. "If you want one last look at planet Earth, Dib-thing, Zim suggests you stay with him in the bridge for the time being. There are crew barracks you can rest in if you wish down in the other direction--just start opening doors."

"You've already explained all the differences between us and him, right?" Skoodge questioned, tagging along after him as fast as his stumpy little legs would go. "The physical differences and needs are really important. The social stuff can come later--that's more of a learn as you go thing, anyway." "Ehh..." Zim peeked over his shoulder, peering down at his much smaller companion. "Some things. Not everything. I intended to elaborate further while we're in transit to pass the time." One of Skoodge's antennae twitched with annoyance. He glanced back and up at Dib, looking mildly intrigued

"I don't know much about your kind," he admitted hesitantly. The notion of not knowing something clearly bothered him. "Neither do the other Irkens. The Tallest and his little robot there are the only ones who know anything at all. But I'm sure there are a lot of differences between us that need to be talked about. We Irkens are, uh...pretty unique among creatures. There are lots of things other creatures are required to do that we aren't. Like expelling waste and, uh...sleeping."

Zim pushed ahead into the bridge. By the time Skoodge walked in he was already tapping away at one of the consoles, his antennae perked and his eyes wide and attentive. One thing Zim was unerringly fantastic at was piloting ships, especially when the mission at hand was as important to him as this one was. No matter what, he wanted to ensure that Dib arrived safely at the Massive.

"You'll, uh..." Skoodge shuffled his way over to the nearest chair, which was already low to the ground--it looked as if all of the chairs could be adjusted height-wise. "You'll want to take a seat and strap in while we take off. Once we're past the atmosphere you can stand up again. Irken ships maintain a constant level of gravity inside no matter where they are. It's the tiniest bit heavier than your Earth gravity, from what I could tell, but I doubt you'll notice a difference."

GIR wasn't seated in a chair. Instead his legs seemed to be almost glued to the floor as he stood there, waiting expectantly for the Ring Cutter to take off and humming what sounded like an Earth nursery rhyme to himself to pass the time. Zim was also not seated. He was instead clutching a bar on one of the consoles in a vice-like grip as he tapped away. He finished whatever he was doing at the console by hitting a large red button. At last he reached down and readjusted the chair behind him, raising it to a height that suited him and taking a seat.

"Computer! The Ring Cutter is ready to ascend!" "Gee, is it that time already?" "Initiate ten-second countdown and prepare for launch!" "Why ten seconds?" "Because ZIM said so!" "Well, that makes sense. Commencing launch preparations and ten-second countdown."

Zim's eyes darted around the room until they found Dib, upon which he flashed him a knowing smirk. "You ought to keep your eyes on the windshield, human," he spoke, just barely managing to talk over the Computer's slow countdown in the background. "The scenery of space may be commonplace for us, but I'm sure it'll all be fascinating for you."

 

[Dip]

Dib felt much like he was trapped, but more like trapped in a loving embrace and against his will. Dib listened to Zim at the chance to watch Earth, and the human liked that idea very much. He would rest sometime later, he thought. He wasn't tired right now, and he doubted that he would be within the next coming hours.

Dib listened to the aliens talk, and looked down at Skoodge as he mentioned the differences between humans and aliens, and how they seemed to be entirely different from each other. Dib had heard this entire 'you're different from us bla bla bla' speech before, but it caught him off guard when the decorated Invader mentioned... sleeping.

Did that mean there were no beds? Dib knwe he should have packed his bed incase! Dib felt that Zim had initially left that detail out as a way to fuel the feud. But, as Dib thought about it... The Irken had mentioned that there were non-Irkens aboard the Massive, so Dib felt that he was fine for now. If not... He could improvise. Dib was clever, and he wouldn't let something like this take him down.

The human entered himself back into the bridge, and he turned to the large windshield. He wanted to stand closer, but the smaller Invader mentioned the gravitational change and the take-off precautions. Dib had read plenty of books to know that this was important, but... Dib would unbuckle himself when they reached a safe altitude. Dib walked around a chair near to Skoodge, and awkwardly adjusted the height. Dib guessed that sitting next to a hostile creature that he had never encountered before was a bad idea, but who knows. He strepped himself in, and smiled to himself. He wished he could record the moment, but he knew that something like that would set the entire place up in smoke.

Dib heard the countdown, and felt a special kind of anxiety soar through his very being. Zim turned to him, but Dib was already way ahead of him. He had his eyes glued to the windshield, and braced himself for something extraordinary.

3...

2...

1...

The ship rumbled and roared to life, and Dib gripped the armrests of his chair tightly, the smile on his face ever growing. He felt a slow, gradual lifting feeling, and soon a lurch. It was like he was on a roller coaster, but this roller coaster was propelling him face-first into a new life. Dib pushed himself forward, getting his face closer to the action.

The human had his eyes peeled. He scanned every corner and inch of the windshield before him, taking it all in. He felt like he was watching a movie, but this movie was real. Everything about this was real. Dib wasn't sure if he had ever smiled that hard in his life! This was... pure joy. Dib felt every single cell in his body scream with pleasure. He watched the trees grow smaller and smaller, and he saw his city grow more distant and more faint. Dib had been in Irken space-crafts before, but never like this!

Dib only moved to adjust his glasses that were slipping painfully fair off of his nose. He looking from left to right, his eyes catching every single second of the flight. As Dib grew more and more excited, he noticed that... no one else was reacting the same way as he was. Didn't Irkens know beauty? Didn't they get excited at the thought of take-off? At the thought of conquering? Well if they didn't love this, they were missing out.

It wasn't long before the trees melted together into green nothingness, and the city was nothing but a gray dot next to other gray dots and green trees and blue water. Dib felt something in the pit of his stomach, and he thought for sure he was going to be sick. It was just so gorgeous. Dib had fallen out of love with humanity as a whole, but humans did score a beautiful planet to live on.

Dib never blinked for a second. It was like the most amazing fire-work show on Earth. He saw the way the shadows danced upon the Earth surface, and he wondered faintly if anyone was looking above from Earth to see the spacecraft. He hoped that someone was questioning the existence of life of other planets, and Dib hoped that they would get to feel half of the excitement and joy and anxiety that Dib was feeling.

It wasn't common for the human to cry, but he would be lying if he hadn't shed a tear or two. Dib rubbed his watering eyes, and looked back at the vast blueness. That used to be home. Those were his beings. On it, everyone Dib loved, everyone he knew, everyone he ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of human being's joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every saint and sinner in the history of his species lived there-- on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

Dib felt very small, buckled to the seat of an alien Ring-Cutter next to being who were so vastly different from him. Dib held his breath as he slowly, slowly grew farther and farther away from the humans he had absolutely despised. Dib wanted to vocalize his feelings and put them to words, but these Irkens had seen this enough and couldn't care less. Dib melted into euphoria. The only thing he could bring himself to say was something very faint, very quiet. He spoke as small as he had felt.

"Wow."

 

[Mira-Charma13]

Skoodge bristled just a bit when the human chose to take the seat directly adjacent to him when there were a variety of other seats, farther away, available for the taking. Irkens were a notoriously xenophobic bunch and were conditioned from hatching to mistrust members of other species and automatically consider them to be inferior beings. Skoodge wasn't the most Irken of Irkens, but these were hurdles he still had to overcome. It would take him considerably less time to warm up to Dib's presence than the average Irken, though.

The only one who really reacted to the sudden lurching and rising of the spacecraft besides Dib was GIR, who screeched with excitement and began running around in happy circles. Little sparks danced from his feet as he did this--apparently, his feet could act as magnets to keep him grounded on a metal surface during takeoff. He eventually ended up at the bottom right corner of the windshield where he stood and watched the scene unfold along with Dib, those shimmering turquoise eyes as wide as dinner plates.

Zim watched as Earth's trees, cities, and masses of water and land became farther and farther away with mild interest, a content expression on his face and fascination dancing in his eyes. Skoodge, on the other hand, was busy tapping away at a handheld device--one that very much resembled a human tablet--that he pulled out of his robe pocket shortly after takeoff. He didn't glance up even once.

As soon as the turbulence settled and the ship stopped shaking Zim unbuckled himself and stood back up, stretching his arms and legs out. Skoodge followed suit shortly after, though he didn't move from his chair. "Well?" The Irken leader hovered toward the side of the windshield opposite of GIR and made a grand sweeping motion with one arm. "What do you think, Dib-human? Could you get used to a view like this?" Stars of all shapes and sizes passed by at a dazzling rate of speed. "Zim enjoys the space scenery. Even after all of this time, it's still pretty to look at. And every time I watch for an extended period of time I find something new and unusual."

"Kinda bores me by now, to be perfectly honest," Skoodge admitted without looking up from his tablet. "I've just seen the same view so many times now that it doesn't do anything for me anymore." He glanced up briefly to flash a knowing smirk in Dib's direction. "But I do remember my first experience with space travel, after I just grew out of smeethood. Yeah, that was pretty magical."

Zim hummed in agreement, a faraway look on his face. Apparently, he was reminiscing about his first bout of traveling in space as well. "Computer! Chart a course for Planet Neptune! Turn on the autopilot! Oh, and rotate the ship whenever we draw close to and pass by a planet so that the windshield is facing it for the Dib's sake. We're returning to the Armada!" "Yeah, I'll get right on all that. You don't have to be so bossy, master." Zim blinked and then slowly placed his hands on his hips like a petulant teenage human. "Yes I do!" Skoodge snorted, just barely managing to contain a snicker or two.

"So, uh...human, right?" The round Irken turned his chair to face Dib. "That's what your species is called?" Intrigue danced on his every facial feature. "Are you all that tall? You're almost as tall as the Tallest!" Despite most of them suffering from deeply-rooted xenophobia, all Irkens were insanely curious and nosy beings. A being as exotic as Dib was sure to send even the least curious of Irken minds reeling. Zim was a particularly curious Irken. Nosy, too--he was the sort who couldn't help listening in on conversations that didn't even involve him if he could hear them going on.

"I was told you were going to bring books on your species. Books made of paper--a lot like our ancient books." The prospect seemed to thrill Skoodge. "Mind if I borrow some of them when you're all settled in?" "You'll need a Visual Translation Device," Zim warned him, keeping an eye on GIR as the SIR unit skipped around the room to make sure he didn't cause any destruction to the ship. "They're all in a foreign human language." "Oh." Skoodge frowned. "Yeah. Right. Almost forgot about that! ...Wait." His eyes squinted accusingly at Zim. "Did you explain the whole Irken language and translation thing to him yet?" Zim cleared his throat and pointedly stared out of the windshield. "Mm-hm." Skoodge looked disappointed. "Didn't think so. Well...that's what I'm here for, I guess."

He rubbed his tiny hands together and smiled at Dib. "Our leader isn't known for remembering all the little details of a mission--" "Hey!" "--so I'm guessing he forgot to give you a lot of pertinent information. He told me that you're kind of obsessed with aliens and supernatural stuff. So...ta-daaaaa!" He raised his arms in the air. "Alien being sitting right here! So ask away! What do you need to know? And what do you want to know?"

"I can answer questions, too," Zim interjected. "And perhaps make comparisons with the human way of doing things if you wish."

 

[Dip]

Dib hadn't even noticed that everyone else had settled in and began unbuckling. Dib looked around quickly, and followed suit. He felt more comfortable and less restrained. Dib looked back at the windshield, and watched as everything seemed to move through a vacuum-- well, it wasn't just like anymore. Dib was going through a vacuum. Zim mentioned theatrically how much he enjoyed the view, and Dib nodded, his mouth curling into a smile.

Skoodge interjected, and Dib could care less about what he mentioned. It seemed negative, but slowly, it melted int a happy demeanor. Dib smiled at the other Irken. Zim commanded to set a course for Neptune, and Dib raised an eyebrow. Dark, cold and whipped by supersonic winds Neptune? The last of the hydrogen and helium gas giants in the human's solar system? More than 30 times as far from the sun as Earth? The planet takes almost 165 Earth years to orbit our sun? The planet that takes 12 years to travel to? THAT Neptune?

Dib's mind raced on the possibilities of hyperspace travel, and wondered exactly how such a thing was possible. Dib was pulled from his thoughts when the Irken turned towards him to engage in awkward conversation. Dib smiled uneasily, "Humans," Dib confirmed. When the other asked about the height, Dib tried to hold back a laugh. "It depends who your parents-- er, your... family unit, is." Dib tried to articulate this into a way that Skoodge would understand. "Humans born into a family unit who are tall have a higher chance of being tall. My dad-- the leader of my housing unit, is about... 6 foot, 7 inches? 6 foot 5? I'll be about as tall as him within 3 or 4 Earth years. I might be taller than him by then."

The thought of height being a key factor of politics still intrigued Dib. Maybe he would be seen as intimidating for being so closely similar to Zim on a height scale. "The tallest human alive was... about 9 feet tall." Dib added. Dib wanted to say that he could give as many books to the curious Irken has he wanted, but he was cut off when Skoodge mentioned something about Irken translation? "Irken translation?" Dib had known that there was a language that Irkens spoke, and Dib knew a few phrases of that language (he had written the alphabet one time when he had hacked into Zim's computer. He may need to look for that notebook...).

"Irken translator... what is that?" Dib didn't want to say so soon, but he had guessed that English was just a commonplace, intergalactic language. He felt foolish for thinking about it now, but could you blame him? Zim, Tak, GIR, Skoodge, and a whole mess of other creatures were entirely fluent!

 

[Mira-Charma13]

Skoodge seemed fascinated by all this talk of what was to him an almost entirely new species, much like a human child being told about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny for the very first time. Zim listened in, but this was old information for him. He was more focused on the view passing by and watching out for other planets and interesting things along the way. Only the Computer was paying attention to the radar, and that was understandable--the AI was the one doing all the navigating right now.

"Nine feet tall!" Skoodge sounded impressed. "I can't even imagine that! The tallest Irken ever recorded was, um...lemme see..." The dumpy Irken tapped away on his tablet. "...About seven and a half feet. And that was frightfully tall. I wasn't around to see him, though. He was alive during ancient times. There's a pretty weathered gold statue of him back on Irk in the Hall of the Tallest."

Zim made a face at the mere mention of the Hall of the Tallest. Evidently, it was a place he didn't fancy all that much.

"So you've got distinct family units, then?" Skoodge's intrigue seemed to know no bounds. "Parents and littermates? I'm going to assume that extended blood relatives don't live with the average family unit. Am I right? That's how it's usually done." Skoodge swung his short legs back and forth. "We Irkens don't have family units. We have a genetic database that holds samples of all known Irken DNA. Control Brains mix DNA at random to create an Irken egg, which is incubated in places called Hatcheries underneath the surface of our mother planet, Irk. One egg takes about five months to hatch into an Irken smeet. Each smeet is given a PAK, which is attached at the spinal cord and grows with the individual Irken. Control Brains raise smeets for one Irk year beneath Irk's surface, teaching them basic survival skills and other basic knowledge, before sending them off to a military training planet for further schooling. We hatch from our eggs knowing how to walk and talk already thanks to our PAKs."

"One Irk year is ten Earth years," Zim interrupted, unsure if Dib was aware of this or not. "Our months are about the same number of days--an equal thirty for each month. So...because you are eighteen Earth years, you are one and eight tenths in Irk years." Zim pointed to himself, looking awfully proud for no good reason. "Zim is sixteen Irk years. And so is Skoodge. We were hatched very close to one another in the Hatcheries. That would make us...ehh..."

"About 160 Earth years," Skoodge supplied simply, able to do the math faster. "Approximately 167 Earth years, if you wanna get technical about it. We can live for a maximum of 130 Irk years, so...1300 Earth years. From what the Tallest tells me, we're pretty long-lived compared to you guys. That's part of the reason why you'll need to get a PAK. It'll automatically extend your lifespan so you'll live as long as an Irken of the same biological age."

"As for the matter of Irken translation..." Zim's antennae bounced. "Our PAKs do most of the work for us. Here's an interesting tidbit for you, Earth beast..." The Tallest hovered away from the windshield and toward GIR, who was dancing dangerously close to one of the control consoles. "Zim does not speak a lick of your human languages. Not one bit." He held one finger up in the air. "The Irken Database contains language data from thousands upon thousands of sentient species across the Known Universe. Upon discovering a new planet, any Irken regardless of their career path is obligated to record preliminary data on the dominant species of that planet. This includes language data. When Zim arrived on your planet Earth he spent his first day doing nothing but downloading language data for all of your Earth languages into this database."

Zim reached down and scooped up GIR, who immediately screamed in protest. After realizing it was just his master GIR snuggled against his chest and purred like a content kitten. "Our PAKs translate verbal language. They translate the words that are spoken to us into Irken and translate the words we speak into the language of our choosing. Written language cannot be translated. This is a technology we have tried to develop time and time again, but Irken eyes are fickle things. So far, it cannot be done. So...Zim had to learn your written human languages by himself. To translate without learning the language in question requires a VTD, or Visual Translation Device. It is a pocket-sized transparent item that can change size depending on what you are reading. It sets on top of the source material and, with the press of a button, translates it into the language of your choosing on its screen."

"...Which means you're gonna have to learn written Irken at some point," Skoodge continued in a chipper voice. "But that won't be too hard. Once you get the symbols and the sentence structure down, it'll be easy!" "What is the human phrase?" Zim squinted. "Piece of pie? Or piece of cake? Ehh, whatever. Zim can teach you written Irken in his free time. The sentence structure is a bit like your Latin language, if you know what that's like. As far as the verbal language goes...Zim can provide you with an ATD, or Audio Translation Device. It works like...what is the thing Zim is thinking of...ehh...a hearing aid, almost. The first two pieces are small and unobtrusive and sit inside your ears. The last piece looks a bit like a collar and must be placed tight around your neck, right about where your voice box is located. It will function like a primitive version of the PAK's spoken translation system. All non-Irken employees wear these."

Skoodge was about to speak again, but then paused to take a breath. "Is this too much information for you to absorb at once?" He didn't sound all that concerned, but Zim did--after all, he wanted Dib to be truly ready to mingle with his Irken subjects. "Do you want a tablet or something so you can keep notes?"

 

[Dip]

Dib enjoyed talking about his race, he thought. If he had spent less time hating Zim, maybe they would have been able to have more conversations about things like this. Dib listened on about what Skoodge had to say about the Irken way of birth, and Dib was entirely fascinated, but mostly creeped out. No wonder the universes best Invaders were so good at their job, they were so emotionless.

Dib nodded at what the decorated Irken had to say. While Dib was never born to meet his grandparents, he would have assumed that them living with the human would have been entirely possible. "It's gotten more common within... my race, for the older relatives to live with the younger ones, but that was never my situation." Dib mentioned. As the smaller Irken spoke about 'the birds and the bees', Dib was intrigued beyond belief. "That's... kinda how Humans do it, too. " Dib said, as he thought about it. "Kinda. Humans are... kinda like walking genetic databases that hold personal DNA. Humans pick and choose who they want to mix their DNA with. The female human already has all of the eggs she will use within her lifespan, and the male humans just fertilize the eggs."

Dib couldn't believe that he was explaining sex to an alien. "It takes about six Earth months for a human baby to... well, not exactly hatch, more like... emerge... Out of the mother." Dib added awkwardly. "Human babies are too large to fit within their mother for more than six months, so when they come out, they are entirely dependent on their family unit for... well, most of their lives, really. They teach us everything, and by the time they're the age I am, they leave their housing unit and..." They fall in love? They make art? Follow their passion? Dib was sure that these ideas were too abstract. "Repeat."

Dib had been aware that their calendar years were strange, but he never knew the technicalities of it. To be entirely honest, Dib was shocked that they were both so old. It shocked him to think that someday he'd be that old, with help of Irken technology. And when Zim mentioned that he didn't speak English, he was speechless. How was that technology even possible?

All of these inhuman gadgets could be described with three simple words: What the fuck.

The PAK was... more sophisticated than Dib had initially thought. He grew excited to get his own, but he remembered what Skoodge had said: Attached at the spinal cord and grows... He suppressed his excitement for another day. He rubbed his face with his hands as he continued to think about the perplexity that was Irk. Dib felt himself thinking those three little words again: What the fuck.

The sound of learning Irk didn't seem too bad. "I already know a little Irken," Dib said, mostly to himself. If it was like English, he was sure he'd be fine. At the mention of the 'ATD', Dib felt better about his situation. Maybe he wouldn't feel entirely like an outcast... Again. If Dib wore one with the band on non-Irkens, he would at least blend in somewhere, right?

At the sound of note-taking, Dib mentally face-palmed. "Oh! I have my own." Dib mentioned. He took his backpack off of himself, and pulled it towards the front of his body. He placed it at his feet, and unzipped the zipper slowly. He had mostly everything else packed away inside The Thing, but he had a few other stuff within his bag that he hadn't put away. He pulled out his cell phone and his laptop, and paused before he pulled out a medical encyclopedia and handed it to Skoodge.

"You can't read this, but... Human's were smart enough to add visual aid. You can keep it, I have plenty of these." And it was true! Dib was sure he grabbed far too many to be considered useful, but... maybe someone else would be as interested as Skoodge. Dib flipped open his laptop, and typed wildly on the keyboard. He moved his finger over the mouse-pad, and clicked on a notebook tool. He wrote down as much as he could remember, typing it at lightening speed. He had spent years talking to other humans online, and Dib knew how to shoot out text like no ones business.

 

[Mira-Charma13]

Zim shuddered the second Dib mentioned anything about human romance and reproduction, looking like he felt utterly traumatized just by hearing about it again. It probably had something to do with that awful, disgusting, and terribly awkward video the school made every single kid their age watch in the auditorium a couple of weeks before he left Earth for good. GIR just sputtered with poorly-restrained laughter, looking up at his master gleefully and thoroughly enjoying his embarrassment. Skoodge seemed curious, glancing over with raised antennae, but didn't dare to ask in case Zim got angry and decided to lash out.

"See, we don't combine DNA ourselves," he said instead. "The Control Brains keep a massive archive of all Irken DNA deep in the bowels of Irk where it won't be disturbed. With each new Irken that hatches, more DNA is added. They do the picking and choosing for us. I mean...it's still biologically possible for us to mate and do the job ourselves, but that was outlawed a looooong time ago." He suddenly looked very serious and spoke in an authoritative voice. "Family units are flawed and inconvenient and will interfere with the mission, as one must waste a great deal of time raising any offspring! This is why Control Brains create and take care of smeets until they are old enough to leave Irk and start their basic military training and education!"

Skoodge was a stickler for laws and the rules, a perfect contrast with the rebellious and oftentimes lawless Zim. They made quite a pair when it came to ruling the Irken Empire in style.

"So...you have live offspring, then?" Skoodge looked as curious as ever. "That's strange. Our species look relatively similar, so that makes for a big difference. Oh, yeah...you said that females carry the young and males just fertilize the eggs, right? That's not the case with Irkens, if we were still having the offspring ourselves. It could be the other way around or with two members of the same gender. It's kinda universal. We're built to survive if the Control Brains suddenly vanish and we have to do the deed ourselves--even if we had only males left it would still be possible to survive and repopulate. And geez," he added, surprise etched on every inch of his face. "It takes eighteen of your Earth years before you're ready to strike out on your own? It only takes Irkens a little more than one Irk year. After one Irk year they're not considered a smeet anymore, and once they learn how to pilot a ship (pretty much the first thing we learn at our military training schools), they have the freedom to go anywhere they want as long as they continue and complete their schooling and eventually receive a career designation from a Control Brain."

Zim moved to set GIR down at last. The tiny SIR bolted off into a far corner of the room, looking around animatedly for a place to curl up and nap. He hovered at a snail's pace toward a nearby chair, which the Computer automatically adjusted for him, and took a seat, heaving an exhausted sigh. His fragile back hurt after all of this excitement.

"I'm going to have to recharge when we get back," he informed Skoodge. A second later his antennae perked and he spared a glance at Dib. "As Skoodge mentioned before...we are not required to sleep like you humans are. We can sleep, but it's widely considered to be a waste of time. Instead, we recharge our physical energy through our PAKs. Recharging cables stimulate the same chemicals that release when one is asleep, allowing the body to rest and recover without actually being unconscious. By not having to sleep, we waste less time doing so. Zim is unsure whether or not receiving a PAK will grant you the same freedom. We will only know that once you do receive one."

Both Irkens watched nosily as Dib removed his backpack and began rummaging through it. The items he pulled out seemed to intrigue Skoodge, who watched closely as he opened the strange mechanical device and happily accepted the book.

"They are made of paper!" he exclaimed, sounding just like an archaeologist who happened to stumble across a trove of ancient treasure. "You still make reading material out of paper? How do you make it on your planet?" "With material collected from trees," Zim supplied easily. "Oh. That makes sense. There were a lot of those things, from what I could see." Skoodge carefully flipped the book open, studying the foreign symbols and the pictures littered throughout. "These are the symbols you use for your language? They sure are shaped funny. Really thin with lots of straight lines."

As Skoodge paged through the book, mostly studying the symbols and eagerly taking in any pictures he happened to come across, Zim leaned back in his chair and gazed out at the breathtaking view. "I suppose I ought to explain some of the simpler social things before we get there," he mused, absently scratching his chin with one of his long, spidery fingers. "Lesser Irkens are usually not permitted to refer to the Almighty Tallest by their given name--instead, a respectful term such as 'my Tallest' must be used. Though you will become an Irken Citizen at some point, you are not Irken. And Zim thinks hearing such a term from the Dib would be kinda weird anyway." He pulled a strange face as he imagined it in his mind. "So just call Zim Zim. The other Irkens will not like it, but once they realize I'm not punishing you for it they'll eventually come to realize that you're permitted to call Zim by his name."

He briefly checked on GIR, who seemed to have found a comfortable nook underneath one of the far consoles to nap in. He was sort of cute when he slept, with his little pink tongue poking out of his mouth and a dreamy look on his face.

"Irkens greet one another with a salute and greet members of other species with a slight bowing of their head," he continued, reaching up to run his fingers across one of his antennae and rid it of any lingering Earth dirt. "The Almighty Tallest salutes no one and always bows his or her head. Unless given permission, you should never ever touch an Irken--especially the Tallest. Generally speaking, we dislike being touched by anyone--even members of our own species. Our antennae are especially sensitive, so if you happen to get in a physical fight I would recommend avoiding them at all costs lest their owner react violently and slaughter you for it. We use them to hear and sense vibrations in the air. When pulled or pushed the wrong way it can cause us monumental amounts of pain."

"That's another thing," Skoodge murmured, still mostly distracted by his new book. "We love to fight. All of us do. So don't be surprised if you're challenged to one from time to time to prove your mettle. It's a good way to earn respect, too, especially if you're short like I am."

Zim rubbed his hands together. "Computer! How long do we have until we reach our destination?" "We'll be there soon. Just gotta pass by a couple more planets. Passing by Jupiter now." The intimidating red and orange gas giant slowly panned into view, taking up the entire windshield as they sped by it. "Ooh. That's pretty," Skoodge commented, lifting his gaze from his book for a moment to check it out. "Mm-hm." Zim's antennae twitched. "Jupiter is...roughly about the size of Irk. But unlike Irk, it is a gas-based planet."

 

[Dip]

Dib felt like he was some exchange student-- well, technically, he was. Dib typed gently on his keyboard when the human felt that the smaller Irken had made a clever point, or if it was just something he wanted to remember. Family units are flawed and inconvenient and will interfere with the mission! Dib typed that down, feeling like it was something he should remember. He had a feeling that ridicule for his Earth-like behavior would be common, but... at least it wasn't like the Earth torment he had endured.

He thought about how bullying by the Irkens would work. If the others were anything like Zim, they would use phrases like 'stink-head', 'Dib-thing', 'human-worm-baby' and the like. It had been a long time since he had heard any of those phrases, but it surely wasn't something to be excited about.

The decorated Second in Command spoke, and Dib typed it down. He felt like he was going to be tested on some of these, and the thought made him a little anxious. As if they would test basic knowledge. Language, sure! But knowledge of the culture and history of Irk? Well, that seemed a bit silly.

Dib saw the content expression of the Irken change into something of seriousness, and could tell from that change that there wasn't a lot that Dib was going to get away with. Dib wondered for a moment if Skoodge knew that Zim gained his power over Irk illegally, and looked at the Almighty Tallest. They worked closely together, so he had to of, right? But... such an offense is punishable by death-- or worse. That would be a question for another day.

Dib typed, and felt like befriending Skoodge would prove easier than previously thought. If both of them were as interested as each other, and as willing to talk about each other's race, this... may prove entirely easy. Dib smiled as Skoodge read through the book, and the comment he made about the language. "You should see my handwriting-- er, the way I write my language." Dib started. "At school-- the, uh, the learning facility on Earth," Dib had to continuously correct himself, as to make it easier for the other to understand. "They teach a different way of writing the language that looks... more aesthetically pleasing." Did Irkens know what beauty was?

"Instead of the simple lines, they're all connected and loop and curve around each other. It's a useless skill that humans teach each other to make reading things other than books more difficult." That was the truth, and nothing more. Dib hated learning cursive in school, and thought it was the biggest waste of his time. But, sadly, they had brainwashed him. Cursive was the only thing he could write. Dib wondered if he ever did find his old notes on the Irken people if anyone would be able to decipher it but himself.

He could already see Zim trying to read Dib's illegible chicken-scratch, and quite the picture was funny. Dib turned his attention to the Irken when he mentioned the naming custom. Dib knew for a fact that he wasn't going to refer to Zim as his 'Tallest' anytime soon. Dib hadn't thought before that he was going to become an Irken citizen, but the realization provoked thought. As a citizenized Irken, within the next few years, he would surpass Zim in height by the littlest percent. Certainly, there would be some parameters to stop this from happening, and if it came to such a point Zim would just extend the length of his antennae. The rivalry would live on, it seemed.

Zim mentioned more greeting customs, and the human likened it to an Earth culture that bowed as a sign of respect and did more of a nod at someone new. The human boy wondered how the tall Irken invader reacted to seeing people kiss on both cheeks as a greeting, or how they hugged and held hands in casual conversation. Dib did more listening than typing, absorbing the information that he would need first hand, and compared the antennae of the alien race to... a far more tender organ on the human male's body. Ouch.

As Skoodge interjected, Dib asked, "Should... Should I fight them?" Dib loved confrontation, but not on an Irken level. A human debate really got him going. He recalled years and years worth of memories of fighting with members of The Swollen Eyeball Network and absolutely loving the taste of victory. But somehow, it felt like cheating if Dib were to take on the alien race with his height advantage.

But Irkens had claws, and teeth, and PAKs, whereas Dib was fleshy and pink and vulnerable.

Dib was pulled from thought when he noticed the planet they were passing. Dib stood up quickly, and moved to get a better view of the planet. It was beautiful. The planet Jupiter is the fifth planet out from the Sun, and is two and a half times more massive than all the other planets in the solar system combined! Dib didn't understand why the Irken's weren't looking as impressed as he was. This was amazing! The planet Jupiter is the fifth planet out from the Sun, and is two and a half times more massive than all the other planets in the solar system combined. 90% of the atmosphere of Jupiter is made of hydrogen. It would be impossible for humans to breathe in this atmosphere, but eight human space-crafts had found themselves around and ON Jupiter. Dib could faintly see a moon near the planet, and tried his best to figure out the name of such a moon.

Dib had wished that he didn't talk the entire time so he could have enjoyed the view of Mars. Dib grew anxious for Saturn and Uranus to come into view. In a fit of very human compulsion, Dib pulled out his iPhone, and took a picture of the passing planet.

 

[Mira-Charma13]

"Oh. That." Zim's expression soured considerably. "Yeah. Zim remembers that." Skoodge blinked in confusion. "You had to learn this, too?" he sounded incredulous that his old friend would bother to learn something as useless as a form of handwriting that served no purpose other than to look aesthetically pleasing to the Earth creatures. "Zim felt it was necessary for his mission," the Irken monarch muttered irritably. "To put one's official signature on something on Earth, this fancy-shmancy curvy writing was a requirement."

Somewhere on the other side of the ship's bridge, GIR burst out in childlike giggles at Zim's colorful description of cursive. Perhaps he wasn't dead asleep after all. GIR was more attentive than most people gave him credit for, though he was still not the sharpest tool in the shed.

As Dib suspected, Zim had already considered the possibility of Dib surpassing him in height as he grew older. Mercifully enough for Zim, even if Dib surpassed him in height he would not be allowed to take the throne of the Almighty Tallest from him. Though he would become an Irken Citizen with approval from a Control Brain and by receiving a PAK of his own, human blood ran through his veins. Not Irken blood. Any candidate for the Almighty Tallest had to be born on Irk and their DNA makeup had to be no less than ninety percent Irken.

Zim suddenly found himself wondering whether or not Dib would be able to tolerate the Irken equivalent of bullying. Though he himself had some pretty Irken tendencies, he wasn't the best example of a run-of-the-mill Irken due to his highly Defective PAK. Zim's taunting and teasing bordered on the playful side, meant to amuse himself as well as break down his target. Regular Irkens were not quite as neighborly. They spoke viciously with their prehensile serpentine tongues, picking away at every bit of weakness their target exposed to them. If verbal punishment didn't work they turned to the physical kind. Given Dib's great height, however, Zim sincerely doubted he'd be getting sucker punched out of the blue anytime soon. Height was intimidating, even for a non-Irken!

The Irken leader noticed Dib's subtle glance toward him when Skoodge's demeanor changed and subtly shook his head. He knew almost exactly what the human was thinking. That was a story for another day, and until then Zim hoped his reaction to Skoodge's sudden shift in behavior would keep Dib quiet for the time being.

Skoodge's face lit up when Dib asked if he should indeed fight any Irken who challenged him, but before he could speak Zim beat him to it. "Not at first. You will need combat training, as Zim mentioned before." "I can help with that," Skoodge agreed with ease. "There are a few other Irkens on the Massive who can help train you, as well. Your size is going to be a problem, though..." He squinted at the human, once again taking in his generous height. "I think there are a couple of Irkens that come close. Most of us are really small--only a little taller than I am--but there are some that surpass five feet. I think...the Tallest, the former Tallest, the leader of the Planetary Investigation Team, and one or two others are the only ones alive now that reach or surpass six feet. You could ask the PIT leader if he can spar with you to make things more equal if you want."

"Once you do receive combat training..." Zim rose from his seat again, floating lazily toward the mouth of the hallway. "You should accept any offer you receive to fight. Make certain beforehand that it will be a nonlethal duel, though. Winning fights will boost your popularity, and earn you oodles of much-needed respect."

The Tallest paused at the entrance to the hallway, glancing back at both Dib and Skoodge. "I'm gonna grab something to eat. Want anything?" Skoodge raised one hand without looking. "Just a sandwich for me." Zim's gaze settled squarely on Dib. "Want to try some Irken food?" Mischief danced in those huge magenta orbs. "Zim promises not to bring back anything that will kill you."

The two Irkens watched with interest as Dib darted to the windshield to get a better look at planet Jupiter. Two sets of antennae twitched when the camera on his cell phone flashed. "What is that?" Skoodge immediately demanded, looking both suspicious and nosy as all get-out. "It's a cell phone-thing," Zim answered, absently cracking the small knuckles in his thin fingers. "A cell phone?" The Advisor echoed, apparently mystified. "It performs various functions," Zim explained, squinting as he tried to remember them all. "Ehh...it allows for audio and video calls to any human whose cell phone number you have. It can also take pictures and make use of something known as the internet."

"Sounds nifty." Skoodge grinned. "I'd love to see that stuff action! But camera aside, do those features work outside of planet Earth's atmosphere?" "Ehh..." Zim shrugged. "Probably not. But Zim could do some tinkering in his spare time and see if there isn't a way to make the thingamajig work."

 

[Dip]

Dib noticed that Zim shook his head ever so slightly. He made it seem like he was turning away, but he had looked at Dib in such a way that answered his question. Dib turned his eyes back to the Irken. Dib was suddenly faced with the secrets that had been entrusted onto the human, and wondered why Zim had trusted him so much. He remembered Zim's first day at Skool, remembered how he had mercilessly singled him out, chased him all the way back to his base. He remembered exploring illegally through his house, investigating his being, watching him like a hawk. How did it ever get to this?

Dib and Zim were very similar, and Dib knew that as he was younger, but he had spent so much time hating him that he never bothered to realize until after Zim left. Zim had... changed within those six years. What had broken him so much to make him trust an outsider? What made Zim turn to someone outside of his own species, his own niche? Dib had hated Zim while he was away, but it seemed the opposite for the Irken invader. He knew things that not even the second most powerful Irken knew.

What would happen if others knew what Dib knew?


Dib thought back to what the Irken leader had said about winning the trust of others, and he was glad that he wad won over Zim's second in command. He was glad that he had someone to teach him when it came to basic combat, but at the sound of there being other Irken's who got closer to Dib's height, his appreciation skyrocketed.

Dib watched as Zim stood up and spoke about accepting each and every duel to gain respect, and thought it to be extremely alien. On Earth, you didn't fight with your coworkers to gain respect, you fought them with to gain the exact opposite. While Dib loved confrontation, he enjoyed verbal fighting, not literal.

The human was entirely read to object to eating Irken food, but being outnumbered 3 Irkens (GIR was Irken, right? He seemed too.. happy to be Irken) to 1 Human, he figured that it was best to take the offer. "Sure," Dib shrugged and pretended not to be the least bit worried. Dib, while he felt confronted on his phone, didn't feel like he was going to have to answer for his wrong-doings. The Second in Command looked more interested than on edge.

Dib hesitated before he handed the long-thin iPhone slowly to the Irken. He knew that there would be no point to breaking the human device, but Dib still warned. "Humans like aesthetics," Dib started, alluding back to the needlessness of cursive. "So they like making things smooth and black, but because they do that they break easily." Dib said. He had dropped his phone so many times, that he had been extra careful with his new one.

He was fortunate to have a case around it, protecting it from... most elements, but he was sure deep space wasn't one. If there were any sudden drastic pressure changes, his phone could shatter. He wasn't sure why he brought it out to the depths of space... Maybe Tetris was on his mind.