Conner: if you're gonna join this team, you're joining a
family
Nellie:
Error. Does not compute. Undergoing immediate Shut Down.
Hero: Okay, Nellie. I need you to infiltrate this establishment.
Nellie: And like... socialize?
Hero: And not kill anyone. Just smile and nod and you'll be fine.
Nellie: Uh...
Slow and painfully awkward smile. Like this or?
Hero: ....
Gently puts paper bag over her head. There. Good to go. Knock 'em dead.
Nellie: So--
Hero:
Not literally!
Person:
Puffing on a cig. You want a smoke?
Nellie: That'll literally do nothing for me.
Person: Come onnnn. You're always stressed and shit; maybe this'll help you relax for once.
Nellie: Nicotine has no addictive effects on my system. It fucking smells weird. It could lead to hypertension, which is the
last thing my blood pressure needs--
Heroes: Hey Nellie!
Nellie: Fuck... Oh fuck me. Gimme that!
Inhales a lonnnnnng drag.
Pearson: "I TOLD YOU not to cause too much collateral damage this time around! Or any time at all!"
Conner: "Listen! I get my shit done and I get it done quick!"
Pearson: "And you can't do that without
raging all over the damn city??"
Conner: "I would like to rage all over your
face!"
Nellie:
Snorts. "Hokay, Ashley Johnson."
Pearson and Conner: "Who the fuck is that?"
Nellie: ....No one.
Slips on her headphones.
Headphones:
"Hello darkness my old friend..."
Villain:
Tied up with rope and bruised. Go ahead! Torture me! You won't get a single drop of info!
Nellie: Dude, I will literally slice you to ribbons.
Villain: Do it! I BET YOU FLOWERY HERO TYPES DON'T HAVE THE GALL--
Gets hacked to pieces.
Nellie: ....
Nellie:
Starts to panic a little. Oh... O-oh my god... What did I do...?
Nellie:
Hyperventilates. I just killed him. I-I just killed him and...
Sobs. He had a puppy! The poor puppy! She's all alone
fuck I didn't think this through I'm soooo sorry puppy I'll adopt you and make this right!
Nellie:
On the phone. Wait, so like... you seriously triple countered all of his creature spell cards? Back to back?
Liam:
Chuckles. Heck yeah I did! Dude was acting all high and mighty when we started. Should've seen his face when I legit halved his HP with my legendary Life Link!
Nellie:
Grins. Dude, you're a fucking savage. What was the end score?
Liam: Heh--try 63 to
negative 30.
Nellie:
Negative thirty??
Liam: You heard me right. He was so piiiiiissed! I felt kinda bad though. I think he was about to cry...
Nellie: Okay--we gotta play sometime. I haven't been into MGA in a while but I still know how it works.
Liam: Ohohoho--brave of you to jump head first into the master's lair~
Nellie: You know me. Mom didn't raise no little bitch.
Liam: She sure didn't.
Nellie: So, uh... Saturday Game Night, then? You bring snacks, I bring the ass whooping?
Liam:
Giddy. Oh, you're
on. It's a date.
Nellie:
Blinks. ...What?
Liam: I-I mean! Um! BYE SEE YOU SATURDAY!
click!
Nellie:
Stares at her phone. .......hokay
Nellie:
Walking down the sidewalk, keeping her head down, avoiding all eye contact with civilians--
Lady:
Bumps shoulders with Nellie.
Nellie: Oh! Uh, sorry, I wasn't--
Lady: Jesus, watch it! Are you fucking blind?? God!
And you made me spill my coffee all over my
cashmere!
Nellie:
A little flustered. Sh-shit. Sorry. Sorry. Look, I'll pay for the shirt.
Lady: It's a
blouse, uncultured klutz! And trust me, you wouldn't be able to cover the cost for this.
Nellie:
Sweating. W-well... I... I just... I'm still sorry? I can get you another coffee?
Lady:
Throws her hand in Nellie's face. No! You've clearly done enough and I wasted enough air talking to you. Jesus!
Nellie:
Flashes polite, pained smile. Internally: I can't kill innocent people. I can't kill innocent mean people. I can't kill this innocent mean ass hoe in front of me. I can't kill her but GOD JUST ONE SLICE WOULDN'T HURT!
Lady:
Has already stormed off.
Nellie: ...Goddammit.
Nellie:
Trails behind the group.
Hero: Nellie come on! Don't fall behind!
Nellie: ....
Hero:
Stops. Turns around. Nellie?
Nellie:
Pained gurgle. Falls to her knees. G-guys... I don't... feel so goo...
Blood gushes from her nose and mouth. Collapses.
Nellie:
Brushing her teeth. .....
Nellie:
Spits into the sink. .....
Nellie:
Gargles some mouthwash. Spits again. ....
Nellie: ....Wait.
Looks at her reflection. Then pales with delayed realization. I'm going on a fucking date with Liam??
Nellie:
Error. Error. Commence Panic Mode. SCREEEEEE
