From Beneath the Waves

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"I don't know. . ." Korrin said thoughtfully, even though he wanted to believe that it was true that humans and merfolk could be friends in other circumstances. "We're taught that contact with the surface world will get everyone killed. . . With pictures and videos around, it isn't safe to show our faces."

Permanent records of their existence were dangerous, he was always told. It would make people hunt them for the rest of time. But sometimes it had almost felt as if the ways Minamet told him were meant to make him curious on purpose, or to hint that something wasn't quite right. Maybe she'd meant all along to try and return him to the surface.
 
She was silent for a moment as she considered how to answer that, as she couldn't deny that was certainly a risk and humans didn't have the best track record with that kind of thing.

"I can understand that, and I know there are bad people out there who would hunt or capture merpeople." "Still I think for a lot of people it would be hard to convince them they exist, even with proof."

"I mean if I hadn't seen you again after you saved me, I probably would have convinced myself it hadn't happened." She said honestly, though part of her wondered.

"Anyway, i know there are others out there who'd accept mers." She said softly, using his word. "I'm one, I know my family would."
 
It wasn't exactly reassuring to hear Madeline agree with the idea that humans would kill merfolk, but it wasn't as if he hadn't said it first. There was always doubt between people that were very different, whether it was two humans, two mer, or one of each. Some people were good, and some weren't. Everyone was an individual.

When Olivia mentioned her family, he looked at her with something that was equal parts nervous, hopeful, and hesitant. "Do you . . . really think so?" He asked in a soft, worried voice, fingers curling into the front of his shirt like he could feel the nerves in his stomach even as his eyes slid hesitantly away. "I don't know if I should. . ."

Olivia had been a risk all on her own, and though he didn't think she was lying to him he couldn't help feeling anxious about the thought of breaking all the rules and ignoring all the lessons he'd learned as he grew. But, though Minamet had always cautioned him, could he really remember a time when she had told him he should never speak to a human, never let himself be seen?
 
She turned to look at him, hearing the nervousness in his voice. "It's okay Korrin." "I'd never tell them if you didn't want me to, i promise."

She reassured softly, a gentle smile on her face. "But if you ever did want to, i know they'd accept you, I mean i wouldn't let you tell them if i thought they wouldn't."

"But it's totally fine if you never want to tell anyone else, it's your business, your life you know?"
 
When Olivia regarded him with such a gentle, reassuring look in her eyes, Korrin couldn't help feeling soothed. Everything would be okay. At least for now, he had his friend with him. He wasn't alone. He would have to get used to not dealing with his problems on his own, for as long as he was able to have her company.

"I know you wouldn't," he said softly, as if in apology. "I don't . . . really know what I would decide. It's strange thinking of breaking rules I've been taught to life by for most of my life." For all of the life he remembered, at least.

He took a careful, deep breath, and when he let it slowly out he could feel some of the tension over hypotheticals begin to fade. "It's silly," he said with a shake of his head, smiling a little hesitantly. "We might never meet, but the thought still makes me nervous."

Olivia's family was so far away, he wasn't sure how he would ever get there, even though she had invited him. Would they drive such a long distance? How would he be able to interact with the human world for so long? Would being far from the sea do anything to him physically? He had so many questions he didn't know which ones to ask.
 
"It's not silly Korrin, I understand." "It would be a big, hard step." She hoped she hadn't made him feel pressured about meeting her family, she had just wanted him to know that there were others who would accept him as he is.

"You don't have to decide all these things now, I just want you to know the offer is there okay?" She smiled a little, "we could visit them or they might visit me here."

"You could have your first plane ride." She said with a smile, before looking thoughtful. "I mean I assume anyway."
 
For most of his life, Korrin had gotten used to being dismissed in one way or another, even in terms one might call polite. It was nice, having someone that would tell him that it was all right to feel things, to worry. That he wasn't just being foolish, even though it still sort of felt like he was. He wanted nothing more than to be able to give that feeling back to Olivia, though he wasn't sure how or when.

"They would come here?" He asked rather than try to address the complicated feelings inside him, and only smiled gratefully at her reassurance. "A plane ride . . ." For a moment he considered, then pointed upwards with a quizzical, almost stunned expression. "The flying planes? Me? Do you think so?"

The idea was as thrilling as it was terrifying! He'd been deep into the sea, and now he'd gotten to touch land - the idea of flying through the sky was so absurd he'd hardly even considered it.
 
She nodded a little, "they would, once they made sure someone could watch the ranch but that would be easy enough." "I think they haven't visited yet because they don't know what my plans are."

She looked a little guilty for a moment, "they might have thought I wouldn't want to share this place with them or that I wanted to be alone."

She shook her head a little, turning back to him and smiling at his surprise. "Sure, I mean we'd have to sort out some stuff first, I mean you don't have any ID." "But one day, yeah of course."
 
"Do you?" Korrin asked, leaning a bit against the half propped up figurehead without much thought. Its age made it interesting to him, but not so reverent as humans treated old things. "Want to be alone, I mean?"

He didn't want to imply that she didn't want him around, but wondered if she would want her family to come. Maybe the home her other mother had left her was something that felt private, for only her to see. Or maybe it was too empty, and she wished the family she knew was there to fill it. He hoped he wasn't intruding on any of those things.

"Whats an ID?" He asked curiously after a thoughtful pause, though he assumed it was something planes required. "Does it open the doors like a key?"
 
She frowned a little in thought, "at first, yes I did." "Not because I didn't want them around, I guess I just wanted privacy to learn about my birth mother." "I was worried if they saw me upset or happy or anything like that, it might hurt their feelings." "I know that's dumb, they'd be happy for me to find some way to connect to her, but I don't ever want them to feel like I wish that things were different or that I'd pick anyone else over them." "I guess it felt like something I had to do alone?"

She looked a bit embarrassed, "and yeah maybe I wanted to be alone so I could put off going through her stuff without anyone knowing." She smiled at him for a moment, "I'm glad you're here with me though Korrin, you've reminded me how dumb I've been, and how much easier things are with someone there to support you, thanks."

"Well its short for identification, it has your information like your full name, birthday and picture." "Its a record and proves you are who you say you are, you need them for basically everything." "I left mine at home, but I can show you when we get back." She looked thoughtful for a moment, wondering how exactly she was going to get him ID without a birth certificate. "Korrin, do you know your surname?" "Or when your birthday is?"
 
It made sense, in a way. Korrin couldn't fully relate, but he supposed there were some things he would want to see from his own birth parents by himself, if he had thought it was possible to find them. The thought of doing so was so foreign and, frankly, scary that he had never really considered it before. For most of an experience like that, he thought, he would want someone to be there to hold his hand.

He was listening so intently, to the words and to the emotion buried in them, that when she turned it around and started to praise him he flushed a faint dusting of pink across his cheeks. "I . . . I want to help, like how you helped me. When I felt scared, or lost, you stayed by my side, and it felt less like I couldn't breathe." It was the best way he could describe it, like his chest was being crushed beneath the weight of all the realities laid before him, and the touch of her hand or the sound of her voice made it easier to draw air.

"I don't . . . really know." He admitted with an almost sheepish shake of his head, arms crossed loosely over his stomach at the worries the thought brought up. He couldn't run from there forever. "I don't remember anything from before I drowned. . . But I don't think my name sounds like a human name. Minamet gave it to me." It didn't sound like the human names he'd heard, at least. Granted, that was not very many, but merfolk names didn't sound very similar to human ones. He supposed he must have had one, before his life had changed so drastically, but he didn't know what it was.
 
She listened to his reply, at first just thinking his blush was cute, until he explained how he'd felt and it was her turn to blush. She shook her head a little, looking a bit flustered. "That's what good friends do." She said humbly, not feeling like she did anything special. The way he described not being able to breath concerned her a little, as she wondered if he was talking about a panic attack. She smiled a little shyly, "but I'm glad that I helped you feel better."

She was grateful for the chance to repay him in some small way for saving her, though she would have done it anyway. She believed what she'd said, friends helped friends, not that she limited herself that way, always the first to volunteer to help someone stranger or not.

"It's not one I've ever heard before." She agreed, "but I love it, it's unique and it suits you." She reassured with a smile, though she was worried about this conversation upsetting him. As such she was ready to drop it the moment he wanted to, "do you think Minamet might know?" She wasn't sure how, but maybe she'd found something on or around him the day she'd rescued and adopted him. Something with a name, or a date, something that might provide a clue to his human identity.
 
Korrin wasn't really sure why Olivia seemed embarrassed like he'd felt, but there was a sort of relief that he wasn't the only one that felt strange speaking pure feelings that way. More and more, it was good to learn what it was like to be friends. He'd been so distanced from others as he grew into an adult, her nearly forgotten how to interact with them, and humans were another puzzle entirely.

"Thank you," he managed in a soft murmur when she spoke of his name, oddly pleased that she liked it even if he hadn't come up with it himself, and gave just a small smile through the uncertain feelings in his heart. "I don't think she would," he added with a small shake of his head. It was strange to think about, but being out on land, surrounded by the sea but without humanity all around him, he felt somehow more peaceful about it than he had the day before. "I didn't remember it, so no one could have told her."

It wasn't as if she'd gone to chase whatever ship he must have fallen from, not when her focus had been on using her magic to change him, to let him breathe water. After performing a feat so taxing, he assumed she had been exhausted anyway.
 
She nodded a little, she wasn't surprised but it would make things harder. "I guess I thought you might have had something on you when she found you, something that didn't get ruined by the water anyway."

"There must be a way to find out..." Maybe she could research boys around his age who'd gone missing around here around the time he'd been found. Maybe they'd get lucky and find a story about a boy lost at sea, she could hope anyway.

She turned back to look at him quickly, realising she was getting way ahead of herself. "I mean, only if you want to."
 
Thinking of how he might have been found underwater, or what he might have had in his possession as a child, was strange. Like trying to discover someone else's life, with very little to go on. They didn't feel like his memories, even though he wondered if they were trapped inside him somewhere.

"Find out?" He repeated softly, his voice gone a bit hesitant and eyes dropping briefly to the ground, a hand rubbing through his hair. "I don't know. . . I suppose I could try. . ." His expression was worried, though he trusted that she would help him. "I don't really know how. I could ask where she found me, maybe?"
 
"I have some ideas how, but I can't guarantee any of it will work." She nodded a little to his question, "that could help us yeah." She noticed how unsure he looked, and hoped she hadn't upset him.

"This isn't something you have to do Korrin, I just want you to know I'm here to help you if you do want to try and find out."
 
Korrin shook his head a little, sheepish and uncertain but not quite deterred. "No, I . . . It's - scary, I guess is the right word. But if there's some way I can help figure it out, I should ask. It's important. . . Right?"

It felt like it should be, even though part of him was terrified to find out what parts of his past he was missing. If nothing else, Minamet might know what sort of boat he'd fallen off of, or if it looked like he'd floated off to sea on his own somehow.

"What would I tell people, if we figured it out?" He asked with a concerned frown, perplexed by the idea. "About where I've been for so long?" He couldn't tell them he'd been living inside the sea.
 
She nodded sympatheticly, "it is scary and that's okay, I understand that, it's why I haven't gotten around to reading that letter yet."

"It's scary to think of the bad things you might find, or just that things might change." She looked thoughtful at his question, "I can't tell you if it's important to you, but it would be to me."

"I mean I never wanted my life to be any different but I did have questions and things I was curious about." She said with a soft shrug, "but it would be important if you decided you wanted to live on land fully, like a normal person anyway."

His question about where he'd been stumped her for a moment, "to be honest.. I'm not sure.." "Maybe that you had amnesia? Or that you were in a coma?"

She blushed a little, those were not great ideas but she hadn't considered how they'd explain his absence. "I don't really know, maybe we should cross that bridge when we get to it?"
 
It was confusing, to say the least, trying to decide whether or not finding out his human identity was important enough to struggle over, to possibly get himself in trouble over. He'd been so focused on the change, he hadn't had time to think of the past. What of his birth parents? Did he want to know them? Or, did he think that they would want to know him? He'd thought maybe Olivia could simply hand him the answer, having similar issues with adoptive parents and blood relatives, but he supposed it was unfair to put something so complicated only on her. He had to solve his own problems, just like always.

"Being different has always caused problems for me," he said with some hesitation in his voice, fiddling idly with the hem of his shirt just to have something to do with his hands. "I guess I just . . . wonder if anyone would still want me."

He'd changed, after all. Being different had driven him to live as an outcast, alone and unwanted but for a very few select others that didn't mind his presence. If he tried to go back to the human world, changed and vastly different from the others, wouldn't he face the same problems, in a new and unknown environment he didn't know how to navigate? He had Olivia to help guide him now, but for how long? Surely not forever. Eventually, there was part of him that was sure he would end up all alone again.
 
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His question was a painful one, and her heart went out to him. It was not uncommon among adoptees, hell that's why she'd put off reading the letter, in case she learned she was never wanted.

She met his gaze, her gaze serious but sympathetic. "I'm going to tell you the truth Korrin, being different can make some things in life hard but it can also create wonderful opportunities."

"As long as you're a good person, you should do whatever makes you happy." "There is a chance we won't find your birth parents, there's a chance we will and they won't want to get to know you, which would be their loss."

"That would hurt, but you'd be okay." "There are billions of people out there, you'll make friends, and they'll become your family."

She reached out and gently took his hand, a warm smile on her face. "There's also a chance that we find them and they're overjoyed to have you back, and you can still make friends and have a family."

"It'll be hard, but nothing that's worth having comes easy and whatever happens, whatever you decide to do, I'll still be here for you okay?"
 
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