Change of Heart

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He'd not seen crazed and out of her mind. He'd seen protective and fierce. It was all in the eye of the beholder and Nik had been pain-crazed, grief-stricken and near-hopeless. To see something like her, knowing she was there for him, was against those who had hurt him...she had been the most enchanting creature he'd ever laid eyes on and he'd never hear anything different about Lyra in her demon state. He'd tell her all that, someday, but for now his attention was pulled in another direction and Nik did his best to concentrate even though his thoughts were extremely undisciplined right now.

He didn't know it, but that was an effect of the mind-damaged he'd undergone. It would take time and effort to make himself focus, to make his thoughts form into concrete patterns again, but at the moment none of that had been explained to Nik and he just assumed it was fatigue and the ache of pain he felt making him this way.

He found himself nodding to the Regent when the male told him he'd need to see him when Nik was able and then another moment later it seemed he was trying to focus on what Lyra was saying. Wait. Pale blue eyes looked around, frowning in puzzlement over the lack of the Regent's presence. Where had he gone? Had...had he blacked out? Nik looked back at Lyra, but noted nothing about her face or body language to tell him that she was worried in any way and Nyaisah was still in his hold, calm as ever, though, she was now looking at him with some worry in her silver eyes.

The red woman.

Nik brought the heel of his hand to his temple, a noise of mild discomfort escaping him as he tried to think and found that his head ached. Nyaisah sat up then, whining softly in her concern and Nik looked between the two of them, voice quiet, but not yet alarmed. "What did she do to me? I can't...I can't focus..."
 
Putting her hands into her lap as she sat cross legged on the floor, Lyra had to concentrate on the question instead of what she wanted to do to such a woman. "From what I heard, while that thing of a sibling was torturing your body, she was binding your elemental side while destroying your mind in mental torture. Trying to break your sanity and break you." she felt guilty she hadn't been there days before sparing him even a moment of it.


Clenching her palm closed letting her shoulders draw inwards, azure eyes were studying the ground with a hard gaze. "I'm sorry Nik that we come sooner, if we did... you wouldn't be like this."
 
Niklomaus shivered at the reminder to the little over a week he'd spent in pure agony, but the halfbreed didn't dwell on it, a small blessing to his lack of concentration. Instead he focused on Lyra, on the signs of guilt and anger in her body, to the tone of her voice and the fact that she wouldn't look at him. He didn't like it and it prompted what he did next. He didn't really care if it was stupid or not, didn't even think about that, as he moved from the bed. He didn't get more than a step before his legs gave out on him.

Nik laughed then, the sound rough and hoarse as Nyaisah growled fiercely at him in reprimand, fur standing on end and her fangs bared. He merely smiled at the wolf, sitting back and waiting until the vertigo settled before he looked to Lyra, his pale blue eyes meeting her azure with an innocent expression. It was hard to determine whether it was fake or genuine. "See what happens when you blame yourself. I do stupid things." he teased her and then yawned, truly tired. Moving had taken the last of his strength from him, but Nik forced his mind to work despite the way it spiked pain through his temples. His brain wasn't quite ready to comply with him yet, mending itself in the most complex ways.

"You don't need to be sorry. You've done more for me than anyone ever has. You are my family now. I understand that. I don't want you blaming yourself. Please don't." It took effort to get the words out and Nyaisah, now shifted to her humanoid, gave Lyra a smile of amusement over his white-haired head as they could both tell the male needed to get back into bed and back to sleep.
 
He had to be watched over for a bit long, her mother's strong head nature and her healing finally coming to him instead of herself as she proved to be quite stubborn. Even as the male would protest, the mother didn't give him fully determined to wait and see how his strength returned.

She was worried and honestly she couldn't honestly heed his words about not blaming herself so much as easily as she thought so, it wasn't as if it could just be pushed out. It was a struggle but that was for herself to handle, he needed to focus on returning back to normal. Her visits were generally short and ushered out quickly making her wonder if her mother was really concerned about the half breed or furious with her.

His looming figure took up a wary residence for the time, watching her more like a hawk that she could ever remember, he shifted looking towards the large house in the distance before chuckling deep within his throat. "Your mother won't allow it," his palm rested on her crown, making her feel more than dwarfed; the golden eyes turned to look out along the city. "Have you thought more on what we have discussed Aelyra?" his accent was thick making it sometimes hard to focus on what he was saying, but she got the gist of it.

"There was a reason I was raised here;" he nodded, "And a reason why you never trained me firstly," Again he nodded, "Why the change now?"

"You have a family to worry about and that requires structure. Demons are wild and aggressive when it comes to their consorts. You are nothing short of a explosive with your husband, and it was shown in your actions for the Sidhe." The dark hair had been tied back to cascade down his back, a tunic laid open revealing the many fleshy white scars along his torso, "It is better for you to learn to tame it now before you happen to have offspring way in the distant future. Have you ever seen a feral demon mother?" she shook her head, "Will bite the head right off the father if she feels the children are being even mildly threatened. You may only have some of my wicked blood but your temper is fully evolved and fully capable of being a raging beast. Unless you prefer your consort without a head." he was teasing her though it was hardly a joke. "Elven blood with demon is a potent mix, always has been but it has greatly benefitted you my daughter, but I do not wish to see your elven nature consumed by the demon blood. You know it happens and you know that a strict training will increase it."

She nodded hesitantly plopping herself down on the grass, "Not to mention your shadows are your greatest asset, they may behave most the days for you but now that you have managed to strike out in such a furious way against those who have harmed the one you are devoted too, they will start to become wild." he knelt down beside her watching her with the large golden discs, "You are dangerous and it makes you very skilled but you know it makes you a potential danger. It is why you were raised with your mother and that slug of her husband than myself. You have not tapped into the demon state before and in truth I thought you may never. But be it as it may, you are my blood and I know you have tapped into it. It has been freed once and now it will continue. It is time for you to school your ways under a demon rather than an elven standards. Then your title as Demoness General will be heard across the lands." he nudged her gently, "It's your best choice, and safer for your husband." his brow raised, "In which I still have to meet myself. Why did you not inform me of your marriage?"

She shrugged, "Didn't seem important at the time."


"Ah but it is now, hence my point."
 
He was misplacing time. There were blank spots in his memory from one task to another, one conversation to another, from one emotion to another. He'd find himself laughing one moment and then the next - that he could recall - he was holding Nyaisah and crying into her fur. The transitions left him more shaken the emotions did because he couldn't remember what had led up to him changing gears. Arrah and Rhelic had both told him it was just his mind trying repair damage, but they hadn't been able to tell him how much his mind would naturally be able to fix. They didn't know as it varied from individual to individual and there were few who'd lived through something he was subject to. There were few who'd been visited by a dream-caster twice, and so aggressively each time.

They couldn't tell him when he'd be 'better' and in turn the healers, including Amara, didn't want him far away until his body completely healed. It would be unfortunate and even dangerous if his lapse in memory put him in a place of danger and even worse if he wasn't as hale as he could be to handle it. Nik understood it, but the facts didn't make him happy in the least and while he didn't sneak off like Lyra was prone to doing, he did start leaving his room and wandering different parts of the healing wing. He was always near a healer and they knew him on sight, but he had to move around, had to start doing something.

In an ironic twist, he found that something in further training with his healing gift and Nik spent a lot of time meditating, sitting on a window seat where the sun could warm sore muscles and still tender tissue while he let his mind calm. The only problem was that his power seemed to come to him just fine, but then he'd open his eyes to find fire dancing on his palms or lightning, water or a plant that had stretched over to curl around his wrists. Only sometimes was it the healing energy he was trying to call and while the fact that the rest of his power was so receptive to what he wanted fascinated him, his lack of control did not make him happy.

Nyaisah was growing concerned over it and today, while she watched Nik practice again, determined to regain the skill he'd seemed to have lost, the werewolf slipped away and went in search of Lyra. It was time to speak to someone in charge about questioning the red woman and what exactly she'd done to Nik. And if there was any way to reverse it.
 
Craning his neck up and away to look out upon the stretch of field, eyes narrowed before he shifted his weight causing Lyra to twist around in curiosity. Her father had tried to ask her to return back to Cata along with him for a while to train her in the arts of her secondary heritage but was quickly thwarted when Amara had heard of it.

Coming to the conclusion that he would remain around here for the time being, it wasn't as if he was generally unwelcomed but he was certainly met with odd stares and nervous glances. He didn't seem to care, rather quite the opposite seemed to chuckle to it.

Though now with his focus moving away, the black scales of his hide glinting under the sunlight, the red mask upon his face was trained to a young louve making her rounds forward. "Nyaisha?"


"The wolf?" her father dropped down to his forefront legs slithering closer more out of habit than actual threat, he hummed a little. "She seems to be on a mission."
 
The she-wolf found Lyra rather easily, her scent not that hard to pick up as Nyaisah was constantly around both her and Nik. If there were any two people she could find by just the faintest whiff it was the two alphas of her pack and the gray canine, still in her humanoid form, loped toward the blond and the demon at her side. Such a creature did not alarm Nyaisah and perhaps that was because she was young, but it might have also been for the fact that among the mythical world, werewolves were the most versatile. They could get along with any species as long as that species wanted to coexist peacefully with them and more than once they'd been teased as the 'happy hounds' of the world.

The canines didn't take insult to it. The only thing they took TRUE insult to was betrayal and abuse of one of their own. So it was that the young gray werewolf wagged her tail in greeting to Tiron before she focused on the female she'd come to see. "Lyra, I do not know what your mother is telling you, but he's not getting better. He keeps forgetting things and he tries not to show it, but I know it's scaring him. When will the dream-caster be questioned? She might know something that could help Nik."

It was a long-shot and Nyaisah knew it, but it was better than doing nothing in her opinion.
 
Keeping close those large gem like eyes focused contently on the wolven female, arms crossed under her bosom letting out an irritated sigh. "My mother is telling me nothing, you've seen how she has been keeping me at bay as of recent and making sure my visits are short." Tiron snorted hard seemingly more amused to that than annoyed like she was; he stretched out lazily listening.

"As far as I know, the witch is still being broken so she will answer. Rhelic has been constantly pushing and invading her own thoughts but the woman is surprisingly resistant not to mention Nyaisah;" Lyra took on a softer look, "Do you honestly think that woman would give us anything to help him? I don't. She has some sort of plan for him and she won't speak of it. Hell she might not even know there is a plan due to how little we get from her."

She was frustrated at being kept within arm's reach as if she had been the problem from the start; Tiron softened his gaze to her. "No one is telling me anything, I have no control in any of this. Rather than someone wanting me to help or offer to let me try, I am on some sort of detainment."
 
Gray ears pinned back against her head at Lyra's admission about being told nothing and the werewolf growled low, clearly displeased by such news. She respected the elves and if all this had taught her anything, if losing her pack had taught her something, it was that you clung to family, no matter what species they were or how long you'd known them. It had taught her that you treasure family, not make things more difficult for them as she'd always done for Marsin - and the guilt about that still ate at her even though she knew that the older wolf had loved her like a father.

So while she respected the elves, she did not think they were behaving wisely in this, and it was not the elves who were her family now, her pack. It was Nik and Lyra and Jak, and even Zen if he wished it. It was Amara as well and maybe even Tiron now, but they were extended kin to Nyaisah. There were not part of her inner circle and she still felt freely about protesting their actions. And keeping two alphas from each other, two mated beings from each other, that was wrong to the she-wolf.

Her silver eyes glared righteous anger at nothing and Nyaisah spoke with a growl in young voice. "This is not right." And she was going to do something about it. She said nothing more, turning around and with a few stalking steps, she took off back toward the healing ward. It wasn't hard to find Amara and the she-wolf waited until she'd gotten the priestess permission to speak before she did...and she tried to be respectful, but she wasn't leaving here without some answers and she wasn't going to tolerate this unhappiness between her alphas anymore. Nik thought that Lyra didn't WANT to come see him and was one of the reasons he woke at night and held the wolf tightly, mumbling to himself the truths he knew even as he sounded unsure of them himself. For star's sake! She couldn't handle it anymore!

"Priestess, Niklomaus is nearly healed and only his mind remains a problem. Why has Lyra not been allowed to see him freely? He has not tried to leave or disobeyed. Is he being punished?" She bristled a bit even at the thought and went on. "Has Lyra done something wrong? You do not part mates, Priestess unless they wish it and you do not keep a pack apart. You only risk the sickest member getting sicker if you do this."
 
Giving pardon to the female wolf, Amara lifted her gaze as the young pup started to speak brandishing her annoyance openly. "Sit." she pointed downwards not in a submissive way but a way to tell her to be level. "Firstly you are misjudging the pretenses without having all the information and secondly your term of mates, is false. Mates implies they have acted in ways that commit their relation fully, they are still not that far. Next Nya I am not punishing Niklomaus for anything. He needs to be observed and unfortunately we still have other people here that need our attention. We cannot allow him just to go home when there are times that my daughter is not around or yourself. I'd much rather not oblige him with getting lost somewhere he doesn't recall would you?" her tone was calm, valuing the pups questions. "Next, there is some separation occurring on Lyra's part due to things you do not understand and some you do. Lyra is troubled with her own guilt to this whole thing and we both know Niklomaus's would and will see that which only encourages him to act out in brazen stupid behaviour that could injure him further. Not to mention my daughter is requiring time with her own father to be properly focused and contained. She is as wild as she'll ever be, but being here of all places only frustrates her moreso. With Niklomaus condition would you like to risk her flaring up her demon side again? Unless my daughter has her demonic bane on someone she won't be able to function in a proper thought sense. You may see this as meddling trying to keep them at bay, but when in truth I am trying to help them heal in less than satisfactory terms."

She leaned forward to the young female, "If you were in my position Nyaisah, what would you do? I have heard no complaints or request to see his wife, but I have heard plenty of pleading and begging from my daughter. Does that seem right to you?"
 
Nyaisah's skin prickled hot under her fur as she was reprimanded calmly but thoroughly and her ears drooped lower and lower with each logical reason Amara gave. By the time the priestess was finished, the she-wolf was quite subdued and very clearly unhappy and she spoke softly now, sad and lost. "Nothing is right. Nik is not right, he is not himself and he won't come back. I try, I do, I try to help him and I can't. He told me to run and I couldn't help him and I can't help him now. I can't help either of them."

Werewolves rarely cried, but tears dampened Nyaisah's fur and her shoulders shook as she looked down, sniffing rapidly to try and stop. She stood abruptly and kept her head bowed, nodding slightly. "It will be as you say, Priestess. I am sorry for questioning." She was gone then, wanting to hear nothing more. She'd failed in her self-appointed task, but maybe that was for the best. She didn't know. All Nyaisah knew was that everyone around her was hurting and she was as well, and she couldn't make it any better.

She found Nik where she'd left him and the werewolf sighed as she came to sit before him on the window seat. The halfbreed's eyes opened, pale blue calm, but the words he said made Nyaisah anything but. "I could have told you she'd say no, Nya."

Silver eyes blinked rapidly, wide and Nik chuckled, reaching forward to ruffle her ears affectionately. "I heard you." The she-wolf looked back the way she'd come, all the way across the building and then to Nik again, not understanding in the least. "How?" The white-haired male only gave her a slight smile that made chills travel up her spine because it didn't look like Nik. It was, but it wasn't.

"The wind told me."
 
"You can't do anything?"

Her brother shook his head ruffling back the golden blond locks as he held up his hands in defensive. "I have no power in the ward, I am merely a citizen as much as you are. If mama is keeping you away, it's probably for a good reason."

"Oh that makes me feel so much better." sarcasm dripped thick from her tongue, hands dragging down her face as she flopped down on to the grass; her father having had to go and hunt for himself due to his purely carnivore habits. Lifting a hand up flexing it carefully, she sat back up letting her ears pin back. "Maybe I should reconsider."

Jak sat down beside her, nudging her playfully though she hardly responded. "Reconsider what?"

"Tiron had asked me to go back to Cata with him, that way I can be trained properly and with the other leaders." Jak blinked frowning slightly, "Mama said no to it but it's lot like I can do much here." Hands jolted up to press around her head, "Why am I being reprimanded, am I that much of a threat?"

"I don't think it's that-" Jak paused trying to think of a viable explanation though he seemed to be failing rather quickly. "It's just how it has to be right now, it'll get better."

Pushing her hands into a curl around herself, she practically could've been struck by lightning and it wouldn't have made a difference. "What difference does it make, no one is telling me a thing other than they can only do so much and it's best that I keep at bay."

"Lyra, you're not serious-"


"I'm doing nothing here other than apparently being a huge hindrance. You try being on this side of the fence. You show that blasted side and suddenly the city treats me like am I monster. Not allowed to get close enough and not allowed to know anything. When you get to that side of things Jak, then you can tell me I'm not serious." fingers pressed to the grass pushing herself up. "My decision is what it is. At least with demon's I won't be a problem and then Nik can heal without having me around to screw things up further. When you figure out how rejection feel's, come talk to me."
 
Nik didn't know how he'd done it. He didn't know why he could do it. All he knew was that when he asked it, the wind complied with him. Actually...everything did. The plants outside his window, curling vines that told him when people were passing by. The ground under his feet, saying who was coming into his room. The rain that spoke of all it had seen on it's way to Faradar. And the wind. It told him everything and no matter where he wanted it to go, it went. He only had to ask and Nik didn't understand it. He didn't know what had changed or why, but he no longer thought it a bad thing.

Not when the whispers in his ear today spoke of Lyra leaving. He had understood for days why Amara was doing what she was, but now he was growing impatient. There was concern and then there was confinement and he was never going to tolerate the latter again. He was chained to this building just as surely as he'd been chained in that dungeon and Niklomaus was done. He could have left any time he wished and it was only his respect for the priestess that had kept him here....and his own memory problems.

But none of that was more important to him than Lyra and she was hurting now. He wouldn't tolerate that either.

Sneaking out was easy, ridiculously so for the wild-child who'd spent his entire life avoiding people and being seen, and his silent feet aided him well in his escape endeavor. It helped that Nyaisah was out hunting today and Nik moved across the roof with relative ease, having gone through a skylight. He was a bit thinner than he had been just a month prior and his body needed to remember all it could do without protesting, but he wasn't injured anymore. All his wounds were closed, none were tender and all that had been keeping him here was the problems with his mind. And those problems were not getting any better the longer he stayed here. Who was to say he wouldn't see some progress if he saw a change in scenery at least?

Smiling to himself, Nik crossed many different roofs before he climbed down the side of a building and into the streets. A soft laugh left his mouth as he looked back the few blocks to the healing ward and then took off for the house.
 
He was patient with her unusual for a demon to do but he managed. It was a welcomed change as the demon parent seemed to be beyond compare to not pushing her to her limits but while treating her as if he was honestly impressed with her. The while of unwanted seclusion marred her emotions well and her father didn't seem to bother pressing it further.

Big eyes blinked as he loomed over her; "You're certain this is what you want my dear?" there was a touch of mirth behind his deep tone, something she had recently come to enjoy. It was her childhood all over again, those who knew of her mother's affairs spawning her, weren't cruel but those children who knew were. Zen had been the only one who didn't seem to care though that only helped with his elder kin using her fright to exploit her for so long. A hand dropped to her crown, "Aelyra?"

"Yes," she rubbed her head, "I'm tired of being treated like an abomination. Why would I want to stay somewhere that I'm rejected as a being." she flexed a hand, "I know what I am and I know what I do wasn't the best of choices but... what else am I suppose to do when no one wants anything to do with me anymore. I don't want to be a hindrance, and I'm tired of being alone."

Tiron hummed a little nudging her gently with his own forehead; "You're welcomed in Cata my daughter, I'd be grateful to have you back in your other home. I'd like to get to know what I've missed in your years. If this is how you feel, I'd be honored for you to come home. But what of your husband? Should you not inform him of your decision?"

Eyes drew downwards, "It doesn't matter, he needs to heal and mama won't let me around. It's better for him if I'm not here."

He nudged her further, exhaling softly; "I will speak to your mother of your decision and inform the regent lord to relieve your duties until you return, if you wish too."

She was bitter and aching, this was exactly why she had been so refusing to open up... swallowing hard she nodded. "Thank you papa," he grinned under that red mask, rubbing his forehead to her affectionately. At least someone still wanted her around.
 
He was tired by the time he got to the house, but it was a good tired. It was a tired that spoke of movement and a goal. It was nice to run, to push himself a little and the single-minded focus combined with his body following that focus kept his mind on track and his black-outs away. It was a welcome change - one he was not counting on, but the cooperation was nice - and when the halfbreed came upon his home, he smiled a bit, the expression both wistful and happy. He looked around carefully in new habit - being kidnapped did that to a person - but the earth under his feet whispered that all was well and Nik trusted it, moving forward again.

He knew he wouldn't find Lyra in the house as the wind caressed his cheek, guiding him in the right direction until he came to the back of the house. The sight of the demon made him pause but the breeze seemed to laugh at his unease and Niklomaus moved forward again on soundless feet. His pale blue eyes, glowing slightly in his face though he knew it not, met the gold eyes of Tiron briefly, but it was Lyra's back he spoke to as he crossed his arms and raised a brow.

"So correct me if I am wrong; I disappear and you come after me with an army, but you disappear and I am supposed to assume everything is fine?" Nik's smile widened a bit when she turned and he moved forward the few steps between them to grasp her waist gently, but firmly, forehead coming to rest against her own and voice lowering. "It doesn't work that way, ástin mín. Where you go, I go and nothing could keep me from you for long. Not even your mother and definitely not you traveling to Cata."
 
She caught her father's glimmering gold gaze shifting taking consideration of something else, though his hackles didn't raise making it known it wasn't something to worry about; but the voice questioning her habits made her wince.


Shame blanketed upon her forcing her shoulders to draw inwards; she shook her head to him. She wanted to shy away and she wanted to cling for dear life, Tiron made a slight mutter thick in the demonic tongue turning his body lumbering body away to shift into the forest backdrop allowing privacy; the whimper echoed in her throat. "I'm sorry..." she muttered at first, becoming stronger as she clenched her jaw. "I'm sorry I'm a burden and a pain and just cause so much grief! I wasn't allowed to come because my other lineage... I'm sorry I'm a horrible muddle of a creature." she crumbled letting the hot tears drip over her lashes, "I wanted to make sure I was giving you space like I was told to do so you could heal, my father offered for me to go to Cata. I don't want you to hate me because I'm a heinous creature that stresses you. No one told me anything, I'm just sorry."
 
Her words made Nik's heart break within him and shut her up quickly with his lips against her own, drawing her into a kiss that was both tender and passionate, his hands moving up to cup her face as he pulled away and looked Lyra in the eye. "No." he breathed, brushing his thumbs over her face, wiping away the tears even as they fell as he shook his head. "Do not believe such things. Never those things, my beautiful one, my beautiful demoness."

Nik kissed her again, far more softly this time and then he pulled her into him, arms wrapping securely around her smaller frame and his head resting on her own. "You are not a burden to me and if anything has stressed me this past week, it has been being away from you. I have done what your mother wanted, I have tried things their way, but no longer. It is not helping and my place is with you. My body is fine now and only my mind remains troubled."

There was a smile in Nik's voice as he kissed the crown of her head, inhaling her scent deeply, having missed it terribly. "The way I see it, the mind can't heal very well if part of the heart is missing. And you are my heart."
 
Capturing her up in a silence in hopes to stave off her frightened ramblings, she trembled lightly in his grasp. It was difficult to admit to his words, to believe them when she felt so brazen cast off without a single thought considering otherwise by hands not of her own. But she welcomed his comfort, clung to it as a scared child would witnessing their own fears, she was listening to him.

Sniffling against her own will, she buried her face into him overwhelmed with it all. She wanted the answers for him, for her, for it all. She wanted nothing more than to have everything fixed and back to normal, she wanted it all but none of it was that simple.


"I need you, love... I want to give you the way back to what your missing but I don't have it. Everything yearned for you just to be whole again and I have nothing to fix it." She missed him desperately, missed clinging and being embedded in his comfort, in his smell, in it all. It hurt to know how terribly she wanted him back home with her and it hurt to know that he was still missing so much. "I feel useless, unwanted, broken with no answers. I've missed you at home with my hands being tied without me knowing."
 
Nik refused to let her go, keeping her against him, safe with him where she'd needed to be all along. He had lived through the torture, but she had endured the aftermath, had fought to bring him back and had been denied the reassurance she'd needed of seeing him get better. He wasn't fixed, wasn't without stumbling blocks and fears, without echoes of the trauma he'd undergone, but he was whole and he was determined to get better again, and she'd been denied the chance to see that. He knew he should have spoken up, should have broken any rule to see her. He'd known it deep down in his heart, but he'd been a mess, not himself at all and somehow it had always slipped his mind to ask about Lyra.

How that could be, he did not know. Even now it did not make sense to him how he could have forgotten the one person his entire being ached for. He woke in the night remembering and hurting with the lack of her presence, but when the day came....it was like he didn't even remember. It had scared him to realize that yesterday. Suddenly, like a curtain had been drawn, or a switch flipped he'd understood exactly what was happening, just not why.

And part of him didn't want to know.

What he wanted was to comfort the female in his arms, reassure her that everything would be fine, but the truth was that he didn't know if it would be. He could only hope and try to make it right. "You are not unwanted to me. I want you more than I want the breath inside my own body, Lyra, and do not ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you and you are not useless, not to me, no matter what answers you do or do not have. I do not love you because you are perfect, Lyra. I love you for your imperfections, for the anger and quirks, the stubbornness and compassion, for everything that makes you you, good and bad. I wouldn't change any of it and it is you I came back for. It is you I will fight to get better for."

He pulled back enough to look her in the eye, pale blue holding azure without yielding. "And I will not be separated from you again."
 
Words wanted to flood from her mouth, giving him an answer to everything but, they seemed stuck. Though for once it wasn't a bad thing not to have something to say, it made listening that much easier to do.

Here he was comforting her and yet he was the one tortured and maimed in cruel fashions. It brought a bitterness mixed with compassion to her gut.

Exchanging the look as he spoke about not being separated again, she let out a soft huff of a laugh, knuckling away the tears. "you best make sure that's a promise cause I don't want to be without you anymore." she nuzzled into him feeling terrible for her actions with a mite bit of mushy sentiment. But it was worth it for the halfbreed.

(time skip I think and I say go with your guts intent)
 
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