Before the Looking Glass

[Buio]

Jason smiled and nodded, standing up and grabbing her plate, but pausing as he stood upright. His facial expression told that a though had just occurred to him, though he seemed hesitant to act on it.

"Go for it."

Cheeks reddening even as he leaned forward, Jason placed his free hand atop rue's head and kissed her forehead gently. Leaning back up he smiled but couldn't bring himself to stare directly at her. "I hope you feel better quickly."

and then, at a pace that probably betrayed his internal nervousness more than he'd have liked, he walked past her and put her plate to heat for about a minute in the microwave oven, staying suspiciously silent and by the machine as it opperated.

"Not exactly your smoothest performance, but points for actually going through with it."

 

[Ravenbelle]

Jason stopped short in his motion to stand upright completely. For a moment, he reminded her of how she freezes when she gets a vision and she gave him curious eyes. Did Jack say something? Her brow furrowed when his cheeks colored like roses blooming under his skin, but relaxed again when he placed a gentle hand on her head and pressed his soft lips against her skin. Azure eyes widened as a slight tingle trickled down her neck to her heart directly from where he touched her. She closed her eyes and relived the moment from last night when those lips locked with hers.

When he leaned away again, she stared up at him with a clear question in mind, but he didn't look at her. He just he smiled and made her blush. How could such a simple gesture slow the tornado in her mind so effortlessly? Rue watched him put her food in the microwave and bit her lip, speechless. She had no idea what to say to that because hearing words of concern had been very rare before escaping Brew. Should she thank him again? He looked nervous.

She gulped and shut out the thoughts that said he won't do that once he sees her arms. That criticized all her flaws as if she wasn't aware of them all the time. Except for when he kisses her. Rue winced, took a deep breath and watched the timer on the microwave tick down the seconds. Time has always been her enemy. Time does not heal all wounds. Time forces its way into her head, jams the future into her synapses and feeds the guilt-parasite feasting on her insides. Stop it already. He said to put off all this seriousness for later.

So instead of lingering in her thoughts that only seemed to darken by the second on the clock, She spoke up tentatively, watching Jason's green eyes with 15 seconds left on the microwave and slowing pulses in her head. "What are you thinking about?" She asked, rubbing the back of her neck and pressing into the little bones with the ends of her fingers

 

[Buio]

Truth be told Jason hadn't been 'thinking' of much. Well, nothing coherent anyways. He was having one of those episodes where his mind was saying so many different things at once in reaction to his nervousness that it kind of faded into white noise and his body kind of went on autopilot until something snapped him back to attention, this tie that was rue, and he just stammered out in embarassment. "a-ah, oh, n-nothing really. Just kinda zoning out. It feels like a lot has happened all at once I th-" just as he was finishing up the microwave beeped obnoxiously, signaling the end of its operation. The white haired boy smiled, sub-consiously relieved that he could steer the conversation away from his own thoughts.

He pulled her heated breakfast out of the machine and placed it in front of her, then taking his own plate and throwing it in the oven as well. after he set it to run, he turned back to her, feeling slightly less self-conscios and smilled. "So what do you feel like doing today? I think we should put in a few hours of 'rehearsal' today as well since it'd be bad to get overly self-confident, but i think it's safe to say that we have a pretty good handle on those two characters for whatever needs we might have in the foreseeable future. So that suddenly leave us with a huge chunck of our time freed up."

Jason had been considering this earlier while he'd been making food, but staying still really didn't sit well with him anymore. It wasn't jut that his mind went to dark places when he was alone and had nothing to focus it on, but even as a general feeling. He realized that the last time he would have had any real 'time off' would have been before he went to brew, before he really became who he was today. back at brewster, even your down time was kept on a tight schedule and you were told exactly what you could and couldn't do. Not only that, but there was of course all that business with running the broken mirrors, jason really didn't have any time back there where he wasn't working for or towards someone/thing. ever since coming to Orignale, he had been substituting that tight schedule of training, studying, plotting, running logistics and taking care of his teammates with.... Studying, ploting, running logistics and taking care of rue. Yeah, minus the super powers life hadn't been very different for jason since he left brew, and it was finally starting to dawn on him (well, since that outing yesterday anyways) that this kind of defeated the point. He needed to learn what to do with 'free time' and he was hoping rue might be able to help in that department.

 

[Ravenbelle]

He seemed to snap back to reality at her question and Rue bit her lip. She hadn't mean to to startle him while he's either in conversation with Jack or analyzing important things that always seem to go over her head. Fortunately though, he seemed to be processing things as well, since his reply came out choppy and nervous. As tiny smile came to her lips. She was grateful for the fewer moments that Jason would reflect his old personality. She kind of missed it sometimes. He used to be nervous and skittish nearly all the time unless Jack stepped in and he's changed, grown stronger over the years, especially right before the escape. Rue sometimes felt like she was lagging behind when he was always making plans or following them and making progress. He was always so..stable these days, at least he seemed that way for most of the day. Where a younger Jason would have stuttered on every other sentence, this Jason kept his eyes bright and his mind sharp, one step ahead of the Seer at all times. So hearing that he wasn't really thinking much made her feel marginally better.

She nodded in agreement to his following statement, feeling thoroughly overwhelmed by information and locked up emotion as well, though certainly not in the same way as him. But then he was interrupted and Rue flinched at the loud beep, wincing at the way the noise bounced in her head against the drums and the clutter, only to stir up another wave of pounding pain. Taking a deep breath, she smiled weakly at Jason and resumed consumption of his homemade breakfast-turned-brunch. With every passing bite she felt a little better and again, she couldn't help but feel she owed Jason endlessly. First and foremost for saving her life, and every favor after that.
Once his own soggy meal started heating back to a suitable temperature, she met his green eyes when he addressed her. She listened closely and took and moment to answer, chewing thoughtfully with a pensive look on her face. She usually used free time to read and she was going to make some progress in that library book the Casey look-alike let her borrow, but Jason insinuated that they should do something together. she missed music. Where could they listen to music without use of the internet? She pursed her lips and swallowed a bit of pancake, letting her eyes wander around the kitchen until they landed on some DVD cases from the rental store. Which other movies had he chosen? Should she suggest watching another? This time on the pull out couch? The idea was tempting, but when she turned to meet his gaze again, he didn't seem to want to be cooped up in here all day either. Come to think of it, they should both get some fresh air (once her headache fades anyway, not that it would be long now).

Since he mentioned rehearsal and taking a refreshing walk seemed worthwhile, Rue quirked her lips and gave an option in the form of a question. "Um. Maybe we should get out more...To keep up appearances, maybe we should take a walk, get used to our surroundings. We could figure out some good escape routes or hiding places should we need them, all while putting our acting skills to the test. Does that sound..okay? If not, I don't mind. Anything you want to do in particular?" Now that we have a kindasortamostlylimited freedom She wondered, tentatively. Her dark side immediately predicted Jason to say something along the lines of 'Shine's got that covered, don't worry', but she hoped he would not stop being cautious because of his loyalty to Shine. As her headache slowly faded like a leaky faucet (one drop of liquid aching, one bite and sip of brunch at a time), Rue relaxed just a little, not enough to let her guard down, but enough to keep from seeming so tense. She was okay with whatever he wanted to do, as always.

 

[Buio]

Jason heard her reply and couldn't help but laugh lightly. It seemed rue didn't know much more about just enjoying herself than he did, even she was suggesting something related to war tactics.

"Heh, you and I really are cut from the same cloth huh Rue?" he said with a warm smile before lowering his eyes lightly. "You know, I've been thinking lately: We've kind of been indoctrinated by brew, haven't we? Think about how we've been living for the last week. Minus us using our powers, hasn't it been pretty much exactly like a week at brewster? We subjected ourselves t our own strict schedule of study, training, and rehearsal on request of another, and then when we weren't doing that we spent our time analyzing resources and doing things like looking for escape routes, still acting like the rebels we were back inside."

He found his eyes drifting sideways, staring out the window with a distant gaze. "The whole point of getting out of brewster was to be free, but doesn't it kind of feel like we've forgotten what freedom's like? It's honestly kind of scary..."

he then turned back to look at rue "But still, we're here. We made it rue, you and I. We're free. Maybe not entirely in teh sense we woudl have wanted, but the administrators don;t control us anymore, they don't watch us and know us and use us. We accomplished what the broken mirrors had always set out to do and while we can't forget the friends who still need rescuing, I think we're also doing them a disservice if we don't take advantage of this. I know that if i had been the one who had to sacrifice himself to save any of the others, I would have wanted all of you to go on and live happy lives."

Jason then paused. The next part he wanted to address was somewhat delicate and he didn't quite feel he had the right words to do so properly. He closed his eyes for a short moment and when he opened them again Jack had surfaced in order to lend him a hand. "I'm going to call out the elephant in the room here and say that it's pretty obvious the both of us are dealing with a pretty heavy and classic case of survivor's guilt, albeit in our own ways; anyone who read a psychology book could tell. Both of us for our own reasons, feel that we.... that other people deserved this more than we do. I'm not going to tell you to magically stop feeling terrible about everything that happened. What occured during the escape... that's probably going to stay with us for the rest of our lives. but we have to decide whether it's just going to be part of us, or if it's going to define us. I think that you and I both need to... accept our being here, and enjoy it. I mean, we made it rue. We're free, would our friends want us to waste it hating ourselves for it and hiding that behind a new cage we built for ourselves?"

He gave her a small, warm smile. "I think today it's okay to do things not because they're tactically sound or because they help a cause, but just because for the first time in our lives -or well, mine anyways- we can. We can and no one can tell us no."

Jason hadn't exactly noticed himself at which point he had re-assumed control during that speech.

 

[Ravenbelle]

Rue furrowed her eyebrows when he laughed, soon after finishing the two thirds of her portion of breakfast he made and setting down her utensils. Why was he comparing himself to her? If they were ever to be represented by cloth, Rue would certainly be a faded, stained, tattered piece of...cotton or..something equally frail and boring. He would be the strongest denim, a bit weathered at the edges, but still very useful and admirable. what was there to compare? That they spent a few years inside a psychological nightmare lie of a place?

She payed attention though, for he would soon clear up her confusion as he usually does. Staring up at him from her chair as her headache faded completely, she bit her lip at his observations. Rue may be a perceptive girl, but watching this sort of behavior in herself is harder. She and Jason really have been acting like nothing has changed. She thought about it for a second with her eyes on the ground. Why would she still follow that sort of schedule? Simply because she was used to it? No...maybe because it seems like this isn't over. That the Broken Mirrors still exist and still rebel and still...fight for freedom.

Just because he saved her and the two of them are outside Brewster's world of manipulation, that doesn't mean everything is okay now. As much as he feels like it's a disservice to their friends to stay stuck like this, she feels like it's a disservice to...forget about them for too long. She's afraid to enjoy herself because they should be here. She winced when he spoke hypothetically, for she couldn't stand the thought of him shut in there with angry admins. But as always, he had a point she had to consider. If it was her, she'd want them to leave her. In fact, she had never thought she'd really get out. But if the others did, she'd count it as the one success in her life. And of course it fell apart, torn at the seams and destroyed. Should she really be rejoicing over freedom after that? It feels wrong to feel happy. Yes, it's pathetic, but that isn't shocking when it comes to Rue either. So she just took a shaky breath and kept her eyes down, trying to keep her thoughts away from the escape again. It was tough. She hasn't even started the book from the library yet. Does she really deserve the distraction?

Sure it was scary to have gone through so much that the rewarding result seemed almost ineffective, but to her it wasn't surprising. She had never really had freedom so she wasn't sure she could forget something she never remembered. It was only another difference between them. Was his idea of freedom even comparable to hers? It must be, right? Otherwise, their cause is somewhat vague. As much as she thought she knew Jason, he's changed since she met him. There are new things she notices about him every day, but the most prominent development is the progression she's seen while he shook away his timid nature, in favor of a beautiful middle ground between the two extremes that used to be Jason and Jack. In fact, she hasn't seen Jack much since the escape. As far as she could tell, Jason was becoming strong enough to keep from depending on the more charismatic (but somewhat reckless) side of him.

Up until now. She had to watch closely, but when he paused, she looked up and his posture shifted slightly, his eyes took a long blink and Rue blinked at the natural leader before her. She could see Jack clearly now in those bright green eyes. But she wondered how long it would be before the line between them blurred too much for her to be able to distinguish between the two..
Rue gulped and averted her eyes as his new cadence of speech and tone diagnosed the pair. Jack was never the type to sugarcoat. She enjoys his honesty and doesn't mind him being so frank, but in this case, the truth will hurt no matter how it's delivered. and the message certainly came across clearly. Rue was never good at making decisions. Not before Brew, not in Brew (especially after glimpsing the future), and not now. That's why she needs Jason, her confidante, her leader. He always makes the decisions he believes to be right. And that's why she follows him. So, truly making her own choices...well, she's never really had such a freedom and.. she doesn't know how to handle it. Hiding behind cages and hating herself , that's nothing new for Rue. It's not just one cage either. There are pressures she places on her own shoulders, worries that hold down the cages that keep her locked and chained inside a cage that's in a cage that's in a cage that's in a cage...

She wrapped her arms around herself self-consciously and tightened her fists to keep from checking her arms, kind of just nodding along until she met his eyes again. Too focused on his words rather than the way he said them, Rue didn't catch the shift back to Jason until he saw his eyes again. That warm smile is certainly his as well. He wants a day. As far as she knows, today is a small amount of time. He made everything sound correct. Maybe just or a little while, it wouldn't be so bad to simply...elevate their moods. So Rue took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, then let it out. Today, She could handle the daylight hours with Jason. She had to show him that at least. She has to try.
"Okay...yeah..Um. Thank you Jason. and Jack." She smiled politely for a moment, then waited for him to grab his gooey pancakes and sit at the little table. "So...what would you suggest then? For today." Obviously she didn't know what to do now that Jason is in the equation when it comes to recreational activity. He had come up with such a great movie plan. Surely he has other requests or suggestions.

 

[Buio]

Jason chuckled lightly when she thanked both him and jack. "It's fine rue, you don't need to address us individually, It's not like all the broken mirrors knew about jack so we're pretty much used to referring to ourselves and being referred to as one person. He's so used to being called by my name that it makes him feel weird hearing anyone but me use his real one." He smiled and tried to keep things light as he started to eat his food.

He could see the difficulty with which rue was trying to come around, how uncomfortable the thought of being happy without all their friends made her even after his explanations. It was alright of course, psychology was annoying like that, you couldn't magically change how your mind was working just because you knew what it was doing now. But Rue was trying, she wanted to see the light, even if just a little bit, even if her heart didn't really believe in it. Jason still believed what he said to rue before, things would probably get worse for them before they got better as far as their psychological scars were concerned, but he could still do his damned best to soften the blow for her as much as he could.

When she asked him what they should do he thought for a moment but quickly came to a conclusion. "Well, a lot's happened but look at the clock, it's still in the forenoon*. We've still got a bunch of movies we rented last night we haven't watched, so maybe we can stay in and watch one or two, and then go out later when we feel like it?"



*that's actually a real word, i have no idea why no one seems to use it, we use afternoon all the time

 

[Ravenbelle]

Rue just shrugged and even managed to smile just a little at Jason's preference to be called by one name. She had simply wanted to recognize Jack and thank him for everything he'd done. Even though she knew he was only a different side of Jason, he still felt like a separate person enough to have a separate name than his. And she respected that. She even felt a little better to know that most of the other Broken Mirrors weren't privy to the information she had on Jason. But that feeling faded when she returned to guilt over how some of them would never know and the others were still locked up because of her incompetence.

How does Jason seem to maintain such an uplifting mood for most of the day? He's always able to make her smile even in such painful circumstances while she finds it exhausting just to keep the fragile bottle of negative emotions shut away. How? She certainly knew that he was dealing with the same trauma as her, but the way he deals with it confounds her all the time. Rue was never the most cheerful person, so smiles were rare before the escape. She expected it to be exhausting to ever smile again after what happened, but somehow, with Jason's consistent effort to stay positive, Rue's smiling more often than she thought she ever had, however short-lived their existences. How does he manage to be so strong? Is it just that there's something wrong with her? Right now she can't deny that the clinical depression she was officially diagnosed with after a failed suicide attempt is really starting to rear its ugly head. It's becoming risky to stay stuck in her own head for too long, and Jason doesn't seem to have the same issue, at least not where she could see it. Maybe it was Jack that became his healthy outlet. Rue certainly never has and never will have someone that she could talk to that truly understands her in every way possible. Would she be much better off if she did? By how much? Enough to make gooey pancakes and smile at the person across the table? Rue sighed. They were only musings, never to be honestly realized anyway.

Rue nodded in agreement to his movie plan and picked up her plate to clean along a few of the other pans and her cup and silverware. "Okay." She said while rinsing off her dish."Well, which movie do you want to watch first?" She asked over her shoulder, not thinking about the inside of her wrists that were visible since she had to roll up her sleeves to clean. When she first put them in the water, the tiny bits of dried blood washed away quickly, but the scars of long ago were clear, not to mention the subtle indication that her skin was raw there in some places. Her arms were no longer red, but they were still hurt, very unoticeably. As long as she doesn't ruin the day, still early, Rue wouldn't call it horrible just yet. Now that the sofa-bed is pulled out with sheets and Jason's usual pillow and blanket, they could lay on that, so she only had to grab her pillow before joining him. She had to try to enjoy herself at least. What better way than to get lost in a story with Jason?

 

[Buio]

When rue got up to wash her dishes Jason decided to hurry up and finish off the last of his sugary, syrupy paste-for-breakfast so he could do the same and go watch the movie with her. He heard her ask him what he wanted to ask, but when he looked up at her from his now clean plate he stopped short of answering her. He looked at her from behind and stared as if in a trance. The image of rue standing in front of the sink, illuminated by rays of the morning sun coming from the window in front of her, shifted in his mind to a hazy flash of a similar scene, a glimpse of a dream or memory from long ago. As if by instinct Jason's mind pushed to see more and, for a brief instant, he saw two figures held in a simple embrace, and even as the mirage faded his heart was filled with a strange but familiar warmth. Jason's sharp mind quickly deduced what he had seen and a soft smile crept over his face, his eyes still semi-closed from the feeling of ease that had washed over him through that vision. He got up from his chair without really feeling it, his mind sort of adrift on the floaty feeling of his new discovery and the effect it had on him.

He silently made his way behind rue and slipped his arms around her middle, pulling her into him softly and resting his head in the crook of her neck, closing his eyes as he replicated with rue the scene he'd caught a glimpse of in his mind's eye. "Tank you Rue, I think you just helped me remember something very important from my past." he said with a soft smile and he squeezed her slightly tighter.

"Well. Hey there Cassa Nova"

"...huh?"

Jason's eyes blinked once slowly, then again after a slight pause when the pseudo-high of his happy memory faded, and then again several times in quick succession, each blink being a frame-by-frame play of his drawing horror as his brain finally processed what, he, was, doing.

He immediately unwarpped his arms and pulled away from her, gibbering in total embarrassment.

"IamSOsorryforthat! I have NO idea- I Don't even- I mean. I.. I..."

There was a slight pause as jason's brow furrowed, a sudden connection being made in his mind.

"Uhh.. actually... am.. am I sorry for that?"

Jason suddenly realized that there was one very important, very obvious question he had completely forgotten to clarify on at any point at all since yesterday. He felt very stupid of course but that could wait because rue was looking and, well, even though they both came from a mental asylum he still didn't like the thought of her thinking he was just totally crazy. His heart was beating like crazy and his mind was slowly staring to realize wh- nope, gonna stop that train of thought right there. Rue is waiting for you, go.

"Uh... Rue. Are.. we dating?"

 

[Ravenbelle]

Rue turned back to her dishes, and started on the pans he used for making breakfast, focused on her task until he would reply. She looked out the window while repetitively circling the pan with the soapy sponge. The rays of sunlight shined in her eyes as she focused on the warmth of the truth. In Brewster, everything was fake, but at least here she was pretty sure she knew the sunlight was truly from the brightest star beaming at a little blue planet. On her blue eyes. Pooling there to brighten them but for a moment. Since the escape, they'd been dull and nearly hopeless. But while staring out that window with the suds in on her fingers, she thought about what Jason had said. They had made it. There had to be some victory in that. And if she got any reward from the universe, it was the knowledge that the sunlight honestly shone down on her.

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around her and she dropped the pan into the sink. Luckily it was very close to the bottom when it fell so it didn't make a very loud noise. For a split-second, Rue tensed up in terror, but then relaxed as his chin rested on her shoulder. Jason spoke right by her ear in a tone that seemed almost dreamy, calming her with every word. The phrase you helped me made her day right then and there. She wasn't sure what she did or how she'd done it, but Jason thanked her for helping him and she smiled and enjoyed his embrace as he held her tighter. It was a sincere smile this time, showing teeth and everything. That is until he pulled away apologizing.

Jason scrambled backwards slightly and she turned to face him with a expression that was supposed to calm him. He didn't do anything wrong, so why was he apologizing so much? Rue sighed and dried her hands, putting the last dish to dry as he paused and she watched him, wondering what was going on in that quick mind of his. Why had he so suddenly pulled away. It was so nice in his arms, warm like the sunlight on her skin. Peaceful.

"Uh... Rue. Are.. we dating?"

Rue gasped under her breath, froze for a second, then turned to face him completely. She took a deep breath and her eyes lost their sparkle again. Her eyes trained on the floor, her cheeks flamed red as she bit her lip and tightened her fists. Of course she knew from realistic fiction romances that this newer phrase meant he was asking if they were boyfriend and girlfriend. After last night, the answer should be yes and in any proper story, the girl in her position wouldn't be nervous or shy or caught totally off guard by that question. She would run into his arms or kiss him and say 'yes, silly boy! Of course we are.'

But this was no proper story and Rue felt very out of place. No one had ever asked her that before, obviously. She had no idea what to say or what he wanted. Was last night just a fluke? She had not imagined him saying "Right now, I don't think there's a single girl in the world I want to kiss more than you Rue."?
Rue gulped, knowing he was waiting on her words, surely confused about her stupid reaction. "U-um...I--" She started wrapped her arms around her midsection and saw her jacket sleeves still rolled up. She pulled them back down swiftly, certainty and sadness filling her tone now. "That's not..I mean-- You don't really want to date me so--You don't have to...um--just forget it. Sorry." She stumbled over her words, searching for an escape. "I-I'll just.." She mumbled, backing up quickly, so she could head around the table to her bedroom to grab the pillow so they could start the movie like nothing happened. Before she could though, she tripped over her own foot and fell backwards, knocking into the bottom cabinets of the counter. She wasn't injured, just humiliated. She curled up, sitting on the floor with crimson skin from the collarbone up, not that he could see it very well with her hands covering her face as she mumbled repeated apologies. He didn't know it, but she was saying sorry for being so dumb just now and for all of her omissions.

Even if he actually wanted a romantic relationship with her, it would only be because he didn't know she was about to cut herself again in the bathroom less than an hour ago. He had told her about his past as much as she could, even just now admitting that she'd helped him remember something from it, but she couldn't find the courage or the words to tell him much about hers at all. She felt like she was lying to him, but to tell him would scare her to death. She felt sure he would be disgusted or resent her or find her so idiotic he would never ever want to be with her like that, or even want to be friends with her anymore. She hated hiding things from him, but she couldn't bear to lose him either.

 

[Buio]

Ah, this was a familiar feeling.

The immediate, horrifying, gut-punching realization that you just said exactly the wrong things at the wrong time and that evrything was going to shit and oh god whyyyyyy.

While his expression was something like a calmer version of 'a deer in headlights' (showing that his mind was tsill at least trying to keep control of teh situation), he stood with his mouth open as if to say something when rue herself started stammering and backing away but couldn't. he was frozen up, trying to find the right words, worried anything he;d say might make things worse, his mind firing rapidly but not coming up with anything suitable, his movements instead looking sluggish and unfocused as he turned to follow her movement towards the room, only to see her tumble and slide to the ground. Jason felt like he was back in brewster, back when he was new to leading, back when he relied on jack because he couldn't handle the pressure. Rue was hurt in front of him and he wanted with every fiber of his being to go help her, but in that moment he was utterly and completely terrified of only screwing up and making things worse. He wanted to run away, he didn't know how to handle this.

Jack sighed deeply and did the mental equivalent of placing his hand on jason's shoulder. "It's ok Jase, i've got thi-"

"No!"

Jason hadn't quite meant to say that out loud, but on the plus side that did snap him out of his terror freeze. With his own face blushing in embarrassment now, he took a deep breath to try and calm himself.
"Thanks Jack, but I need to do this."

If Jack's presence within Jason;s mind had a face, it would have been smiling.

Jason opened his eyes and walked over to rue, kneeling beside her and pulling her into a tight hug. "I don't want to date you Rue. I... don't think I know how to 'date' someone. What Jacob and Belle do, I don't think I can be like that with anyone. It feels weird for someone who lived what i lived to be that... 'normal'. But I know that you're precious to me, more than anyone else i know." He chuckled lightly, trying to shake off (or at least ignore) his remaining nervousness. "Well, ok, that's not exactly a long list, but you get the idea. I..." He paused, hesitating, hugging her tighter. Partly it was because he wanted her close, but also because he knew he could never say what he was about to say if she could see his face. "I don't ever want to be without you. I don't really know if that classifies as 'dating', but don;t decide for me what i want and what I don't. There.... There still isn't anyone in the world I.... That I want to kiss more than you."

Jason had no idea how he'd managed to say that so confidently yesterday. Then again right now he was also kind of terrified that she's still say she didn't want to be with him. Still, he couldn't stand her thinking he felt half hearted about her, and convincing someone they were wrong about something like that wasn't something you did by letting someone else tell them for you.

 

[Ravenbelle]

Rue was waiting for some sort of calm rejection from Jason or maybe he'd try to comfort her without broaching the topic like that again.
She flinched when he yelled No and glanced up at him briefly, vulnerably. It's always the ones that you care for the most that earn the power to severely hurt you. It's a risk Rue was always afraid to take with anyone. Letting people in is scary, no matter who it is. Jason has only made it so far because he's unlike anyone she's ever known. And even he doesn't know everything about her. Part of her hates herself for that, that she's still terrified to let him know everything about her. He makes her so happy sometimes, which always outweighs how miserable she can tend to be. She couldn't ever bear to lose him. She couldn't stand on her own two feet without him.

So when he knelt down and hugged her, she couldn't help but cling to him, as if her life depended on it. She grit her teeth and buried her red face in his chest, for she knew he wouldn't want to be with her. She knew Jacob and Belle were just characters and that they're mostly normal, but he does't want to be committed to her like Jacob is to Belle? He can't be that affectionate towards her? As strange as the act is to be them, did he mean that it felt weird to be affectionate with her?
No, that couldn't be true if he was being honest. Rue gasped softly, listening to the words vibrate in his chest as they calmed her heavy heart.

"But I know that you're precious to me, more than anyone else I know."

Rue couldn't help but hold him tighter, cautious in believing those words. As much as she trusted him to tell her the truth, he doesn't know what he should. What about the others, still in Brew? None of them..not even the girls were more important to him? She's never been that significant. Rue has never felt that important to anybody, she didn't know what to do or how to feel. She just listened closely, kept him with her, maybe so he couldn't see her face. His laugh calmed her a little bit. It's just one of those things that she couldn't explain about him. Just like when he held her tighter. It just makes her feel better somehow. Losing that would be the end of her.

And...he said to her what she thought of him. It almost brought her to tears just to hear those words. "I don't ever want to be without you."

"I don't really know if that classifies as 'dating', but don;t decide for me what i want and what I don't."
She frowned. Like he said earlier, she isn't thinking straight. There's always something she messes up. It's why she apologizes so much.

"There.... There still isn't anyone in the world I.... That I want to kiss more than you."
Eyes wide, Rue's heart beat out of time as she slowly pulled herself far enough away so she could see his face. It was red, but not any worse than hers. She didn't know what to say now. Last time he'd said that, she was consumed with bliss because of their kiss. Her eyes were too full of emotion to decipher any one most prominent. She opened her mouth, but closed it again...twice because she was so hesitant to say the wrong thing again. She just couldn't fathom the thought that he could see her that way, even if he didn't know everything. To Rue, it was clear that she was not worthy or deserving of anything he could give her, but he gave her his care and attention anyway. Even with all her failures. She winced. "Jason...you mean everything to me." Truer words were never spoken. "I just--It's just that.." She bit her lip, but returned her gaze to his beautiful eyes again. "I-I don't want to mess up..." Like I always do.

 

[Buio]

Jason stared intently and directly into rue's eyes when she pulled back, willing the noise in his head down so that he could focus on her more, listening intently as she gave her shaky answer. She hadn't said yes which was sad, but she hadn't said no either, and he stuck to that. No going back now anyways. Besides, it didn't take a psychology book to tell her problem was with herself, not with him. Shortly after she finished he reached over and lightly brushed her bangs behind her ear, following the motion by cupping her cheek gently and leaning forward, closing his eyes and gently pressing his lips up against hers.
Sometimes Jason kind of wished he could be more bold and awesome. He wished that he could be strong and charismatic, and give big dramatic kisses like the guy on the back of that romance movie he rented yesterday and make everything right just by knowing exactly what to do and what to say. But of course there wasn't a single forceful bone in his body, It's why he relied on jack to play leader most of the time. And with rue so vulnerable in front of him, that took out any strength he may have had before too. So instead the kiss was soft, and gentle, and spoke volumes about the simple and true affection he felt for the girl he was currently holding in that quiet embrace.

He kind of felt like pulling back after a few moments. He felt like this was the time he should have said something like "There's nothing to mess up. I just want to be with you." or something to that effect. say something to reassure her and make those tears in her eyes wash away. but... well, maybe just a little longer like this first...

 

[Ravenbelle]

Yes they were sitting on the kitchen floor staring into each other's eyes and feeling so much for the other that going without a kiss would have been a crime.

Rue closed her eyes as his gentle fingers caressed her hair back. Oh how she lived for his touch... It was like his hands could heal anything they touched and when he cupped her cheek, the tiny smile that appeared was not something she could have held back if she tried. Rue leaned forward slightly before she knew exactly why, and then
Bliss.

Rue melted in Jason's arms, lips locked perfectly with his. The only beautiful thing she's done is what she shares with Jason. It's as if she's always lost and only he could ever find her amid the shadows in her head. And there, enveloped in warmth and a happiness she wouldn't let go of, she could not deny the way he felt for her. If he couldn't get past her doubt with words, he could for a bit, do so with this. The kiss was filled with mutual devotion and...did she dare call it love? Her little fingers wrapped around the back of his neck and she gravitated closer almost without noticing.
Either way, there was nothing more reassuring than the way his lips felt against hers.
The only problem is a need for oxygen. Neither of them wanted to part, so when the time came, both reluctant, they disconnected and kept themselves a breath away from the other, eyes closed and foreheads together. Sometimes the best things in life aren't those you see. The emotion is what matters. And Rue was smiling.

 

[Buio]

Well, this was an unfamiliar feeling.

Jason was used to getting so nervous that he'd hear his heart beating in his ears. What he wasn't used to was being okay with that, being able to handle it and hell even enjoy it in a strange way. As the two stood (barely) separated after their kiss, Jason felt incredibly nervous but still there wasn't any place he wanted to be more than there. Blame it on the hormones, but kissing her (and more importantly having been kissed back) had all felt so nice that the events immediately preceding it had completely slipped out of his mind during. When the two had regained their breath, it was almost thoughtlessly that he leaned in to kiss her again.

"Aherm! Jase."

And the second kiss would only be a fleeting one as Jack brought his other self back to reality and jason ulled away slowly again, smiling at the girl in front of him. He'd always thought she was pretty, but did she always look so beautiful?

"There's not anything to mess up Rue. I just want to be with you. If you want to be with me too then that's all we need, right?" He smiled and kissed her again, this time managing to aim away from her lips and instead place a small loving peck on her forehead.

 

[Ravenbelle]

Rue was still shocked and even giddy, eyes wide and staring straight into Jason's. She was still catching her breath when he leaned toward her again. It took a millisecond for it to turn into a brief kiss, for her smile didn't immediately fade. Was this a dream? All to soon, Jason pulled away again and she was left leaning forward for a moment after his lips left hers. She caught herself and blushed crimson again, eyes down with a shy smile. She couldn't think straight. It was almost as if by kissing her Jason had taken her mind and turned it into a pleasant glittery snowglobe that was still trying to settle. She couldn't identify any negativity. No embarrassment or fear or darkness.

How does he do that? Just his smile now made her knees feel a little weak. had he always been so handsome? Why, again, had she been worried about this before?

"There's not anything to mess up Rue. I just want to be with you. If you want to be with me too then that's all we need, right?"

Oh right. That. Her terrible habit of screwing things up all the time. She bit her lip, but when his lips pressed against her forehead, she relaxed again and met his dazzling, joyful eyes. How..? Maybe he can teach her how to return that kind of joy to her eyes. So with a determined little nod, she whispered,
"Right. I just want to be with you." And stood up on her tip toes to hug him really tight. "Thank you Jason."

 

[Buio]

Jason smiled a warm, soft, happy smile and instinctively hugged her back just as tightly, nuzzling into her hair lightly, finding it to smell quite nice.

"There's nothing to thank me for Rue. I'm happier now than I can ever remember being in my life, and all of it is thanks to you."

Jason squeezed her tighter lightly as he felt a warm pressure build up in his chest. A sort of mixed anticipation and hesitation. joy and fear. He knew how to relieve the pressure, but found his heart beating harder and harder as he came closer to doing so.

Jack chuckled. "Well, It will be your first time doing it. don;t mess it up now."

"Fuck you Jack."

"Haha, you're welcome"

"... Thanks"

With this last push of courage from his alter ego, Jason inhaled deeply but slowly through his nose, calming himself somewhat, and then speaking lowly and softly. "I love you, Rue."

And just like that the pressure was starting to subside, he had said it. He couldn't help but smile. The thought of her saying it back never even crossed his mind. All Jason could think of was feeling happy he had finally found someone he could say that to, and that he'd done it. Him, Jason. All- well, mostly by himself. And just a few weeks ago he was still... Man, life had changed fast. He wasn't gonna start complaining now though.


***

The soft hum of the car engine drummed on as a black limousine was making its way through an underground roadway located some 400 meters below surface. The two occupants in the back sat silently as they waited to arrive at their location. Shine was quietly looking over documents detailing the results of [UNAUTHORIZED INTELLECTUAL ACCESS DETECTED. MENMONIC REDACTION PROTOCOL ENACTED] which had been in operation over the last [MNEMONIC REDACTION ENACTED]. As she did so she naturally held a steaming teacup in her free hand, currently sitting rested on a porcelain plate on her lap.

Correction, it had recently been steaming but was now sitting half-empty and cold, one of the only ways to tell she was reading [REDACTION] news. When she noticed this, she gave a silent glance (and perhapsa light psychic nudge) in chess' way, who then looked up at her and scowled. He held up his closed fist in front of her, bringing his other hand up beside it and silently doing a cranking motion, slowly raising the middle finger on his fist before sprining it upright, pussing his lips and making a pop-

*crack!*

While chess had been playing the jackass he had also been using his powers to replace the cold tea in shine's cup with a fresh serving. Just as he was finishing up 'pouring' the new cup of tea, the side of the cup splint itself with an audible crack, leaving a noticeable fracture line running along the dinnerware item's side from top to bottom.

"... Hmm"

Chess looked at the cup and frowned. "Well that's fuckin ominous, ain't it?"

 

[Ravenbelle]

Rue giggled--giggled!-- when he nuzzled into her neck. How long has it been since..?

His words, spoken to her like a perfect melody into her ear, breathed the joy back into her heart. Sure, the dark clouds in her mind remained, but the storm was calmed. And the sun was shining, sun beams radiating, reaching out from her brightest smile. Because Jason was happiest, she was the happiest she'd ever been in her whole life. There was nothing she could be more certain of except for the fact that--"I love you, Rue."--

"I love you too, Jason."

Rue managed to pull herself away enough to use misty blue eyes to stare at shining emerald. She was in awe, still searching for sincerity. He said it was all thanks to her. She was sharing with him the most beautiful, incredibly happy moment of their lives. And he was smiling. For the first time in her sixteen years, Rue cried because she was happy. Overwhelmingly joyous, giddy even. Because she saw truth, limited by ignorance because of her own omissions or not, he loved her.

There was no reason to acknowledge the destructive whispers in the back of her head. Yes they were still there, but in that moment, she was silently crying, beaming while the sun shone like it never had before.

Rue had been so devoted to the leader of the Broken Mirrors pretty much ever since she met him. And after this long, after everything Jason's done for her, after every speech and tear and..kiss.. there was no hesitation when she repeated those three words and whispered, "I love you so much."
Compelled my something stronger than fear and pain, she kissed him this time. With a near fearless tone of true Love.

 

[Buio]

Well he hadn't been thinking about her answer, but that doesn't mean Jason still didn't feel his insides melt into a thick happy soup when he heard it. Then she pulled back and, oh god those eyes. And then she smiled and, oh god those pretty pink lips and white teeth (say what you will about brewster, they at least taught good dental hygiene). And she started crying, still smiling, and ah he felt so damn stupid now because he was starting to cry too for no reason. But rather than shy away in embarassment at his own stupidity, Jason just started laughing, again not even really knowing why. He was just really happy. And he could tell rue was too. And for that moment he didn't need to think of anything else. Not their dark past, not their uncertain future; all that mattered was the right now, with her.

He gladly met her kiss with one of his own after she stated once more that she loved him and took her in his arms, holding her close again as their lips locked for the fifth time in those last 24 hours.

It took a while for the two young lovers to part again (damn need for oxygen) and when they did Jason smiled, happilly but also somewhat bashfully. Feeling overwhelmed by all this, but in a good way. "I guess we should probably go to watch those movies now, huh?" he said with a light laugh.

 

[Ravenbelle]

When Jason's--oh that name(it's like she cant breathe)--eyes glimmered like precious jewels and showed her small rivers that flowed down to that perfect smile, Rue was so overjoyed. She was sure her heartbeat could be heard in the room by now, jumping and skipping beats as it pounded in her chest.

How long had it been since she had heard sincere laughter from her love? The musical quality was exponentially greater than the nervous laugh he lets out every so often. Sure they probably had the dumbest smiles on and the stupid expressions of young love, but having not participated in such a sweet interaction before, Rue was absolutely oblivious to that and she was so glad to sink into the bliss and happiness that came with another lip lock with...Her first boyfriend. Her first love.

What she loved was the way he kissed her back, momentarily opening all of her cages at once while they kissed. Even if she was trapped again when they had to breathe, it was so good to feel that, if even for a fleeting moment. He made her breathless and they were both sporting cheeks as red as Rue's hair when he suggested they actually start doing what they wanted to. Without worrying about the past. Just enjoy freedom. And Rue..she laughed.

Tears streaming, the girl started really laughing, loudly and freely. She wasn't sure exactly what it was about the way he asked to go watch movies, but for some reason, it was funny enough that she had to clutch the front of his shirt to stay standing. Maybe she was just that happy. And she would enjoy it while it lasted. Eventually, her laughter faded as she took deep breaths and nodded while wiping her face of tears. "Y-yeah." She giggled briefly before promptly dashing off with no explanation. She sprinted into her room, put her PJ pants back on, snatched her pillow off the bed and zipped to a jump onto the sofa bed. It already had sheets and the blanket and pillow Jason used to use on the cushions. This whole process was done under 35 seconds and without letting any intrusive thoughts ruin everything, Rue called from the living room, sitting Indian style in the middle of the sofa bed. "I'm closing my eyes Jason, so pick one and put it inside the DVD player! Quick!" She smiled and put her hands over her eyes. Rue couldn't remember a time when she'd been this excited.