Afraid of Losing You {AcornTree}

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Hope's eyes stayed on him as she watched him lay back, more than likely contemplating his options on what he wanted to do and how he wanted all of this to go. Normally, she usually just took pictures of him on a whim, pictures of him that were usually taken in a quick second when he wasn't looking or paying attention, mostly because she liked having those pictures of him more so then set up ones. She liked seeing him in the moment when he was himself and when he wasn't worried about anything, like when he played any of his instruments or when he was playing with Jazzy, or even when he was just lazing around the house. There had been a few times, though, when she had set up shots to take of him, though it had been a while since she had done something like that with him, that last time having been right before Christmas when she found herself in the holiday mood. It hadn't been anything extravagant, however. All she did was set the tripod up with the camera on it while she got William, her, and even Jazzy in a few, to stand in front of the Christmas tree with the lights blinking behind them and with the curtains pulled back from the window to show the snow that was falling from the sky. Really, she figured she had picked the perfect time to take those pictures.

"What ever you want," she said again, dragging out the middle part of the sentence a bit before she laugh lightly, herself nodding her head then. "Ah, almost set up. Just..." And in that moment, right after she spoke those words she lifted the camera up, lined the short up, and then took a picture, herself smiling a bit as she looked down at the screen to look at the image that showed up. "Yup! I think it's pretty much set up." Grinning a little triumphantly, she flipped the camera around so that William could see it before she turned it back to herself. "We really need better lighting in this room," she muttered to herself, grumbling a bit before she shook her head. "But, it'll do. I think this picture came out good." She looked back up at William again as she took a step back to get a better vantage point of him. "And no one will ever see these pictures other than you and I, so don't worry about that. Okay?"
 
He looked at the picture Hope showed him. He glanced up at the lighting and then looked at Hope again. "I'm not worried about that." he promised. He really wasn't. He also knew that if he didn't like some of the ones she took, he could delete them. Although he might listen to Hope if she said she wanted to keep one he didn't want. That did happen, occasionally, and he'd let her keep it because she wanted to, even if he didn't like it.

"We could get that clip light from the table if you want?" He suggested. "And the floor lamp in the living room?" He didn't know if that would help at all or not. He glanced up at the ceiling light and then down at Hope again. He felt a little awkward still, but he hoped that that would pass. If they were going to do these pictures, he wanted to do them right though. More lighting or not. He brushed a hand through his hair as he waited for her answer, giving her a soft smile.
 
Hope smiled back at William when he brought out his suggestions, but she shook the ideas off and just looked at the smile that he was giving her. Despite herself, she raised the camera again and directed the frame to his face, waiting until the image was settled and good enough for her liking before she quickly took another picture of him, smiling as she started at the image that was before her. "No... I think this lighting will be fine," she said, a bit of a wistful tone coming from her voice before she looked at William again. "These may not look the most professional of the professional because of the lighting, but it sure as hell is better than what a lot of armatures do. And like I said before, this lighting may not be the best, but it's good enough with this camera and the flash with it. Besides, I... Kind of like you in this light better." If she ever wanted to, she knew that she could always do a touch up on the pictures afterwards if they weren't up to her standard. "I don't think you need professional lighting to look good." Giving him her own soft smile, she laughed shortly after the fact.

"Now come on, I want to start this. I'm actually kind of excited to see how these will turn out." Giving him a wink, she motioned with her shoulder to get him to actually do some things, having to encourage him a little bit but still letting him have his own lead with what he wanted to do and how he wanted to look. Only every once in a while through the little make shift shoot she had set up did she give him a little more direction, telling him to turn this way or that way to make it look a little better of just throwing her own two cents in there with a bit of a joke to make things even more calm and relaxing. She felt as if he had gotten used to the pictures being taken of him, and she couldn't deny that she had begun to concentrate a bit herself as she started to get into her 'photographer mood' as she often dubbed it as being. But over all, it was awesome, or at least to her. There was still a sort of intimacy that was held behind all of this, even behind the few jokes that were brought out, and Hope couldn't help but let herself become enveloped in it.

She took different positions and different views with it all, and even every once in a while she would take a quick picture of him when he wasn't paying attention like she normally would have in any other circumstance. "I think you're going to like these when you see them," she commented after taking another picture. "Do you still want more taken, or do you want to stop?"
 
William trusted Hope when she said that they didn't need the extra lighting. He smiled at her again when she said he'd look good regardless of what kind of lighting was happening. She knew just what to say, didn't she? "Alright, alright." He agreed when she said she wanted to start already. He'd once heard somewhere, maybe from Hope but maybe not, that as far as photography went, the better pictures always came after the hour mark of shooting, just because by then the people in the photos were more relaxed and natural at that point. So William was patient, and sure enough as time went on he became more and more relaxed in front of Hope and her camera.

He'd always wondered what those art models felt like when he'd see them on their coffee break in the art and music building at school. They'd go around in robes to make it easier to come back to modeling afterwards, hot cups of Starbucks in their hand from the one on campus, slippers on their feet. Now he knew. It actually wasn't so bad. Of course, it was just Hope and not a room full of strangers. And he was in his own home, so maybe he didn't. But he knew better now than he did before.

"Maybe... just a few more?" He suggested when Hope asked if he wanted to stop. He was getting a little tired, and he was eager to see the pictures too, but he was okay with a few more. Just to make sure that they had some good ones.
 
At the mention of him wanting a few more pictures taken, Hope nodded her head and started to set the things back up again. "You know, if I had to say so myself, I would say that you actually like having pictures taken when you're not wearing anything." With a wink and a little shrug of her shoulders, Hope told William to stand somewhere else in the room, again, so that she could take another picture of him and did the same thing in a few other places and positions as well. Oh yes, she was certainly going to have to make sure that no one ever got their hands on this memory card and these pictures. She figured that she was even going to have to make sure to somehow distinguish the fact that this memory card had these pictures in it so that she wouldn't accidentally use it for something else.

But she was able to push the thoughts aside as she got back into her mode, this session even having taken a good part of her mind that stopped her from thinking about the cancer that was probably floating through William's body at the moment. It was almost easy to forget it at this point with her mind so focused on him and the way he looked as well as the pictures that she took. It was almost funny to think of how she was able to push it from her mind now, unlike even yesterday and the day before that. She still felt sick about the matter, but at least, she figured, she had been able to do a little better of a job at pretending that she was okay in front of William since that was what he wanted.

Soon enough, however, the pictures were finished and the shoot was being put to a close after a while. It was almost a little disappointing for it to be over with, but Hope took it with stride and before any thoughts could circle through her mind that would cause her mood to turn sour, she got William to get back on the bed, her on it this time as well, so that she could show him the pictures. She pointed out to him which ones she liked the best and which ones she thought were the best, and then she went to ask him which ones were his favorite or if he didn't like a few of them. They sat close to one another as they sifted through the pictures, their shoulders pressed together, Hope leaning her head a little closer to William. "So what do you think, overall I mean?" Looking away from the camera, she looked up at William. "I know how I feel with being the person behind the camera, but how does it feel to be the one in front of the camera for something like this?"
 
William took her directions well, standing wherever and doing whatever for the last few pictures. Then he hopped on the bed so that they could look at the pictures together. He had her delete only two of them, leaving all the rest. He answered on which ones were his favorites, too. Some of them they shared as favorites, and that was good. He didn't know what they were gong to do with the pictures now, but he was glad they had done them. He was glad that they could - potentially - both remember this.

"Its... interesting." He admitted. "I mean, you know I don't mind being naked in front of you but, you with a camera is a little intimidating." he smiled, kissing her cheek. But its kind of nice, after I got used to it. I like what you took. I think you make me look better than I do." He complimented, kissing her other cheek and then nuzzling her head with his own. "I like it." He took the camera from her gently to look through the pictures again, settling on one she had taken of him lying down on the bed. "I think this one is my complete favorite." He had a few, but that one was the best in his mind. "Take one with you and me together?" He requested. Even if it was just one.

That night was going really well, he felt. The morning hadn't been so great, but being surrounded by friends was great, and now this more intimate part with Hope... it was wonderful. A perfect last night, as far as he could see it.
 
The thought of her being intimidating with the camera in her hand was a little amusing, causing her to raise her brows as she looked up at William after the kiss he had placed on her cheek. "You think I look intimidating when I have a camera on me?" But then the compliment was passed onto her, causing her to smile and nuzzle against him as well as she breathed out a soft sigh, closing her eyes a bit as she smiled softly, opening her eyes back up then and looking down at her lap. "You look more than great even without my help. Don't sell yourself so short." When he showed her the picture that was his absolute favorite out of the ones that had been taken, she lifted her head and looked, nodding her head to that. "I like that one a lot too. I think it might be my favorite because you hadn't been paying attention. I've always liked those pictures of you."

When he mentioned taking a picture with the both of them, she smiled at the thought and nodded her head again, herself reaching to take the camera out of William's hands before she outstretched her hands out and pointed the camera lens in their direction. Honestly, she hated taking pictures this way, if only because she couldn't see how the shot looked with the screen being on the other side, but finding herself too lazy to get out of bed to get the tripod, she figured that this would suffice for the time being. "Smile~" With a few adjustments with shifting the camera a bit as she shifted herself to be a little closer to William, her leaning her head a little closer to his as she stretched her lips out into a smile, she snapped the picture, the flash flashing in her eyes quickly before it was gone. She pulled the camera back in and turned it around to look at the picture that had just been taken, her eyes checking it out. The picture was lined up to only show from their collarbones up their faces the main focal point. But it was focused and not blurry, centered surprisingly enough and, overall, she... Loved it. "This is my favorite one."

She turned her head to look at William then, blinking her eyes before she leaned up and kissed him slowly, lovingly, one of her hands moving from the camera to rest against William's cheek as she caressed it gently.
 
She needn't worry about him selling himself short. He didn't normally. Just then, to compliment her further. He grinned. Like her, he liked the candid shots too. When she agreed to take just one more picture, he was happy. Happier than ever. While Hope held the camera, William turned so that his face was at a more 3/4ths angle than front facing like Hope was. He was looking right at her, and he wasn't exactly smiling but it was clear that not only was he happy, but completely in love with Hope. It looked almost like he was going to kiss her, but he didn't. Not in the photo, anyway. Sometimes, William couldn't believe that Hope was with him. He was so lucky.

The picture went off before William had realized it, and he looked down at the picture as she looked at it. He smiled at it. "Mine too..." He answered softly about favorites. He looked back at Hope as she looked at him, and he pressed his lips to her's just as she did the same. His eyes fluttered closed. Yes. A perfect last night. Tomorrow would have to be 'sick William' then and until he was better. Tonight was the last night, and it was exactly what he wanted.
 
Hope didn't want the night to end, just as she hadn't wanted last night, and many other nights in the past, to end. Why were their nights so much better than their days, or at least why had that seemed to have been the case over the past couple of days besides on Monday? She wasn't sure, she wasn't sure if she wasn't to know the answer either, but regardless of the fact she didn't want all of this to come to an end. She didn't want to face the reality that was the next day and the next coming days because right here was where she wanted to be. Right here, wrapped up in William with his kisses and just his body right then next to her, was where she wanted to stay. She wanted to stay cooped up in the room, in the bed, with him so that they wouldn't have to leave and so that they wouldn't have to go through life with the way it was heading and with the way things were turning out. She wasn't sure if she wanted to see the future; it was too terrifying to her, and she didn't want to see it turn out for the worse.

If the future was good, then sure she would welcome in, embrace it really. But if it was bad? She would rather not see it. Unfortunately, she knew that she wasn't going to be able to stop it. She couldn't stop time from continuing even if she wanted to. That was such a sad fact though.

Much like last night, Hope enjoyed her time with William immensely, yet when the coming morning came something seemed different. Something seemed... Off. Unlike the past couple of nights she had remembered to actually set the alarm just so that the both of them could wake up at their normal times so that they could get to work since William was heading in for the day, but even so when the alarm started to buzz in her ears she couldn't help but just sit there and stare up at the ceiling for moments on end. A sinking feeling had settled itself in the pit of her stomach, a feeling that made her sick, weak, and overall sad. She felt the sudden urge to want to cry, she felt the sudden urge to want to just throw herself at William to tell him not to go, almost afraid now to have him out of her sights. This was the day he was going to let people know; this was the day that he would, likely, not be like he had over the past couple of days. She didn't want to see that happen to him. She didn't want to think that he would change because that would be too much for her, it would hurt her too bad...

She had to take a couple of deep breaths as she closed her eyes, trying to stop the slight trembles that came to her as the rush of the situation rested upon her harder than it had the past couple of days. While she felt this overwhelming sense of sadness and fear, there was also a sort of numbness that came to her in that moment. He was going to say something to the school, he was going to say something to his family... Why couldn't, again, the feeling of last night have stayed with her? Why couldn't she have felt that love and happiness like last night, and even when she had been sitting on the back of the bike with him, and even when they would just have dinner together and go on run and just enjoy each other's company... Why did she have to feel like this when he still had this day and the next at home?

Eventually she had to turn the alarm clock off. Hope leaned over on the bed and shut it off before she sat up and brushed her hands against her face, keeping them covering her eyes for a minute before she dropped them back into her lap. This wasn't going to be a fun day, and she could already feel it. But she didn't want to let William know how distressed she was; she didn't want him to know how upset she was. Apparently she had grown used to being happy around him, or at least showing herself to him in her most happy moments in order to make him happy, and she didn't want that to change. She wanted to make him happy still; she needed to make him happy still. She couldn't stop doing that now, especially not now when he really needed it. She couldn't just change all of that because of this day.

With a sigh, she finally got herself out of the bed to start getting herself ready for the day.
 
William didn't want the night to end either, but hew as so very tired after everything they had done that he'd actually fallen asleep quite easily. His sleep was not the greatest sleep he'd ever had, but then he wasn't surprised about that either. He figured he'd end up being tired a lot but not able to sleep very well anyway. That was generally the nature of illnesses, right? Although maybe cancer was different. He wasn't really sure.

In the morning, Hope's alarm was going off, but William was already awake. Nervousness had woken him early. He thought about turning it off himself, but he didn't. He just listened to it ring, eyes closed, and he wondered when Hope was going to turn it off. Maybe she was lying next to him, pretending to be asleep when she wasn't either. Soon enough, however, Hope got up and turned the alarm off. William opened his eyes when she started to get ready. He watched her from bed for a few moments and then got up himself.

Crossing the room, he kissed Hope's cheek. He seemed off, and he was. He wasn't looking forward to telling the school board about his illness. Or his parents and sister. God, how was he going to tell them? No, he wouldn't tell anyone until the school day was done. He let out a breath to steady himself and then pulled on a pair of dark brown pants. They were lightly pinstriped with a baby blue, just barely able to be seen. He picked out a shirt that matched that light pinstripe blue, buttoning it up in the front and then selecting a blue and silver striped tie. His hands were a little shaky as he tied the tie around his neck. He wondered, as he picked out clothing to go to work, which clothing he would take with him to the hospital. Which instrument should he ask to bring? He wasn't going without any. That was... out of the question. He couldn't not have his instruments.

It was almost impossible not to think about cancer and the hospital and what was going to happen and what might happen now. Not on the morning where everything was going to be laid out in the open. He took in another deep breath and let it out slowly. Mentally, he went through how today was going to go. He'd take out Jazzy, nibble at breakfast, and then drive his motorcycle to work for what may be the last - no... just in a while. Like an early summer vacation, except one that sucked. Then he'd teach. He'd tell his students goodbye at the end of the day but they wouldn't know just what kind of goodbye, and then he'd go to the principal and the school board. Maybe he'd tell Aiden and Lillianna too, but probably not. William didn't think he could bare telling the people he HAD to tell, much less his friends. He shook his head and stopped thinking about it, leaving the bedroom to find and then pick up Jazzy, rubbing the top of her head.
 
Hope was already beginning to hate this. As soon as she stepped out of the shower and dried herself off and headed back into the bedroom, she saw and watched as William walked around as he started to get ready for work himself, her teeth biting at her bottom lip as she watched him walk away after giving her the little kiss on the cheek. She knew something was wrong with him, and she knew, now, that he wasn't going to be how he was over the past couple of days. While she knew to have expected that, she also knew that she wanted to deny it. She wanted to believe that he would act the way he had been acting the past couple of days despite all of this. But how could she have expected something like that out of him? Now, she realized, he was finally letting the cancer sink into him. It was only going to get harder from here on out, she knew. She just hoped that nothing would happen to him at school.

As she pulled on her pants and wrapped her belt around her waist and pulled on her shirt over her head, she swallowed to try and not let this sick feeling over take her. She would not, Hope chanted in her mind, go throw up. That may worry William all the more and she refused to let that happen to him. So instead, she tried to push the thought aside as she walked out of the room, catching the glimpse of William picking up Jazzy and holding the little dog close as she wriggled in his hold, whining gently as she tilted her face to look up at William to give him a few licks. No doubt she could feel that something was off as well. But breathing out another sigh, Hope side stepped them a bit, putting on a smile, a bit of a forced one, on her face and headed into the kitchen before she opened the fridge to look in there. "Do you want anything for breakfast?" She called back to him, turning away from the fridge to look at William. "Any toast, or eggs, or... Anything?" She figured that the answer was likely to be no, but she felt as if she had to ask no matter what. It almost seemed right, it almost seemed as if she had to ask the question.

After asking the question, she went over to the cabinet and did the normal routine with filling Jazzy's food bowl with her dry dog and filling her water bowl up with fresh water from the sink. At least that was something that would stay the same even after he was gone; she would always feed Jazzy. The only difference to the whole process would be the fact that William wouldn't be the main one walking her anymore like he normally did, especially in the morning.
 
William was trying not to let the cancer effect him yet. Not yet. At last not until after dinner, even if he had to talk about it to the school before then. He just wanted to keep things together. Steeling himself, he put Jazzy down so that she could eat. He sat down at the counter when Hope asked if he wanted to eat anything. "Just butter and toast, please." He felt like he was going to throw up if he ate anything, but he was going to try to anyway.

Somehow, he mustered up a smile as Hope looked at him. Normally he'd make it himself, but he'd let Hope. He reached behind him to check in his school bag, making sure everything was there that he needed. It had been a while since he'd picked it up after all. He put it back down once he was satisfied. He was thinking he'd take the cello, all of a sudden. It was one of his biggest instruments, and that's kind of why he wanted it. To fill up space. Hopefully he'd even be able to play it. He almost immediately berated himself mentally for thinking about it again, but it was like he couldn't stop himself now that he knew today was the day.
 
"Um, okay. Toast it is." Maybe she was trying too hard to be happy, Hope realized as she walked over to where the bread was so that she could grab two pieces out of the bag to put it in the toaster, one piece for William and then one piece for herself. Maybe she was trying too hard to try and pretend unlike the other days, unlike even yesterday. Breathing out a sigh as she lowered the bread into the toaster so that it could start toasting she took the moment to look away from William, resting a hand against her hip as she rested the other one against the counter. Her head was bent slightly as she could see the wires of the toaster on the inside begin to heat up, turning first into a bright orange before it turned into a darker orange. This wasn't good. She was almost afraid now to do too much for fear that she would act completely different, yet she didn't want to do too less for fear of actually letting the feelings that ran through her over take her. She didn't know what to do at this point...

Quickly, before the toast was to pop, she turned her head to the side and looked at William, it having been a while since she had seen him dress as nicely as he had that morning. Oh, how long would it be before she saw him wearing something like that again? There was no doubt in her mind that he wasn't going to wear anything as businesses like during his stay at the hospital, yet it made her wonder whether or not he would bring something like that just to make himself feel a little better. She wasn't sure, but while she was curious about it, she wasn't about to question him on the matter. She told herself that, unless he asked her, she wouldn't help him pack for the hospital, figuring that he would want time like that to himself when it came time for him to start packing his things. That, and because she wasn't sure whether or not she would really be able to handle seeing him pack his things away in a suitcase for his extended stay in the hospital.

With her being so far back in her thoughts, when the toaster popped and the bread popped out, Hope jumped in her spot, her body tensing, before she turned and looked at the toast. Quickly, before it could get too cold, she went and grabbed them two little plates and then grabbed out a butter knife and then the butter. She spread the butter on the pieces of toast, smearing it all on until it disappeared, before she walked back over to William and set the plate down in front of him. "Here you go." She set her plate next to his and turned back to the fridge where she grabbed out the orange juice that they still had left and then went to grab a glass, pouring the juice about half full in the glass before she set it down in front of William as well. If anything, it would make her feel better if he would eat least drink something if not eat anything.

She poured herself a glass as well, finishing off the carton before she threw it away and went to go sit next to William. Honestly, she didn't have much of an appetite either, though at this point that was beginning to be a normal theme that ran through her day. She stared down at the toast that she held in her hand, frowning at it a bit before she bit the corner of it and chewed it off, swallowing it shortly after with a bit of force. "... Are you happy to be going back to work?" Before she was able to stop the sentence, the words had already come from her mouth, causing herself to grimace as she thought about what she said. No, of course he wouldn't be excited about it. This would be his last day for a while and she knew he loved his job, and she knew that he didn't want to leave it like he was now. "O-or at least to be back in those clothes? They must feel nice, even if I still figure it to be a bit too business like for a high school." The attempt at humor had come out dry, even a little strained. And figuring that, she looked back down at her toast. She wasn't doing a very good job at trying to be normal.
 
William propped his head up with a hand, elbow resting against the counter as he sat there. He didn't say much. For some reason, everything seemed to be happening all too fast all of a sudden. He swallowed thickly, and when the toast popped up it drew his gaze also. He watched Hope prepare the toast, and as she set it in front of him he took his elbow off the counter. "Thanks." He answered, his voice sounding gloomy. He was really going to have to snap out of that if he was going to go teach today. Those kids would never listen to him if he wasn't firm with them. Thinking that maybe the toast would make him feel better even if the thought of it was repulsive, he bit into the corner of his own piece also.

He was just trying to think of something to say when Hope asked about if he was happy. He put his piece of toast down, running his finger along the rim of the glass of orange juice in front of him. "I just hope I'll enjoy it like I used to..." He answered honestly. He didn't want things to get in the way of what last piece of normality he had laid out for himself. "Probably once I get there, I'll be fine. If I'm not those kids will walk all over me, and I won't have that." He just wouldn't. He hoped.

"The clothes are fine..." He ran his free hand down his front to feel the silky texture of the tie. It was just a cheap one, but it still felt nice. He bit into his toast again afterwards with a sigh, sipping at his orange juice. The orange juice was easier to stomach than the plain toast, which was just a tiny bit scary. Maybe because he didn't have to chew the orange juice like he did the toast.
 
His answer disheartened her greatly, causing her stomach to flip as she continued to stare down at the plate and toast. Now she regretted asking those questions; she should have just let things be and left him alone for the time being, or she should have at least come up with better methods of topic to talk about. "Right. I'm sure you'll be able to enjoy it once you're there. Just... Try not to think about too much, okay? Just relax." But was she really in the right to be giving him any advice about how he should feel? Probably not, especially seeing as she was having a hard time controlling herself as well. She just wished that she could see that happy smile that normally jutted across his face on a daily basis; she wished that she was able to hear that light hearted tone of his again. It made her wonder how he was going to act at school. Was he going to say anything to his students, or was he going to try and play everything off like he had been doing with her? Would he even be able to do something like that with his students, because even if she didn't like the idea of it, she knew that the students were probably going to ask him why he had been gone and where he had been and if he was okay, given the excuses they had been told as to why their teacher had been absent for the past two days.

She didn't want to eat anymore, and Hope wasn't even going to act as if she could. She set the bread down on the plate and turned her body to face William then, waiting until after he set his glass down before she leaned over and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning her head in to rest against his neck. This, she figured, may be able to help a little bit. At least she could hold him for the time being; at least she could show him that she was there for him, no matter what. At this point she figured that all conversations were open, but for right now she, surprisingly, didn't want to talk about it. "I love you," she whispered softly before she kissed his neck, jaw, and then his cheek before she placed a gentle kiss on his lips and pulled back, looking at him with a soft smile across her lips.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, she wanted to tell him, but kept the words at bay. Instead, she turned back in her chair correctly and finished the rest of her orange juice, figuring that, like him it would be good to at least drink that. And once that was finished she sat up from the chair and stretched a little. "I'm going to go finished getting ready. I've got to put the right memory card back in the camera and put it back in it's bag since I hadn't done that last night." No, she had been too distracted after setting the camera on the nightstand to even want to think about putting it away. "Wouldn't want anyone seeing those pictures of you, after all." Again she swallowed as she tried to keep her voice leveled and as normal as possible. "I'll put the dishes away when I come back through here, so you don't have to worry about doing that." Unfortunately, that was much easier said than done. But she shook her head and ran a hand from his shoulder to the other side as she passed him to head back down the hall to their room.
 
William knew he was probably not making Hope very happy with his words, but he figured that now was the time to be honest. Pretend time was going to be over in a matter of hours, and the walls might as well start coming down now. He nodded when she told him to try to relax. He didn't know how easy that was going to be. Probably not at all, but he would try to. He nibbled further at his toast and then abandoned it like Hope had. He did, however, drink his juice.

When Hope moved to put her arms around him, he let out a soft sigh and put his arms around her too. Hope's kisses were greatly appreciated. They made him feel about twenty times better, and when she kissed his lips he kissed her's too. He had needed that. He needed her affection and support.

He nodded when she said she had to switch out the memory card. He mustered up a smile at that, knowing he would think it was funny if his mind didn't seem so heavy. He kissed her lips again and then got up. "Okay. Thank you. I'm going to take Jazzy out." Jazzy perked her head up when he said her name, and a few minutes later they were outside. Jazzy milled about the grass, taking her time that morning. William just watched her, putting his hands in his pockets. He felt a little chilly, but it wasn't cold out. He wondered if it was the cancer, or just psychological.

Going back inside, he picked up his leather jacket and put it on. He gave Jazzy one last pat and then waited for Hope so that he could kiss her goodbye and then leave for school.
 
Hope sat on the bed with the camera in her hand after she made it into the room, herself going through the pictures that she had taken of William last night. But she paused on one picture, the last picture that had been taken of the night; the one of just the two of them. They seemed happy then, they seemed to have been fine then. Why did that seem like such a long time ago, despite the fact that it was only hours ago that it had happened? Another day, yes, but in reality only a few hours. She examined the look that William was giving her in the picture and how he wasn't even looking at the camera but instead looking at her, and while he wasn't smiling, she knew that he was happy. She knew that he was content in that moment and so was she, especially with the smile that she sported. That was a genuine smile, one that she wished to have in that moment. In that moment she didn't want to put the camera down, and she didn't want to take the memory card out to put it away. She wanted to keep looking at the pictures for as long as she could, so that she could transport herself back to last night, but knowing that she had to put it away, she eventually did with a heavy sigh and with a heavy heart.

She put the memory card that used to be in the camera before she took it out last night back in, packing the camera away after that and then slinging the bag over her shoulder before she reached for her purse and headed out of the room, turning the lights off. In the distance she could hear the door closing back, Jazzy's collar jingling, indicating that the two had come back from the little outing break, and her notion was only made factual when she saw William standing by the kitchen counter with his leather jacket on. She walked over to him again and leaned into him, giving him another kiss and hug since she knew that he had to start heading to work so that he wouldn't be late, and so that, if for what ever reason, he wouldn't decide to just not go in that day so that he wouldn't have to face everyone. It needed to happen, even if she didn't want it to, she knew that it had to.

"Have a good day, okay?" Her tone was softer, quieter than it normally would have as she looked up at him, brushing down the front of his jacket as she sighed and looked up at him. "Don't let those kids rebel against you."
 
William wrapped his arms around Hope too. He sighed softly, hugging her hard, and then kissing her cheek and then her mouth. Would this be their last goodbye before work together? It almost hurt when she told him not to let those kids rebel against him. "I wont..." He whispered. "Probably." He kissed her again and then sighed.

"Have a good day too." He told her. They probably both wouldn't, but that wasn't the point. He left her then, not wanting to, but he did. He had to get to class. Getting on his motorcycle with his bag, he made it to school and parked. He got off of his bike and went to class.

Classes were slow, but his kids were actually decent today. He said goodbye to Jeremy personally by handing him about a month's worth of work. He went to the principal's office, and this was perhaps one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. And it was going to be even harder when he told his parents. People he loved. He explained what the doctors had said. He explained about the cancer, and how he'd have to leave for at least a month for chemotherapy. The principal was way too sympathetic. William thought she was taking it harder than he was. She told him to be brave, to not worry and that he'd have his job back when he came back, and he would. William felt rather numb. The principal said that she'd tell the proper people, and that he shouldn't come to work tomorrow even when he tried to say he wanted to. It was useless, and on his bike ride back home he couldn't stop himself from crying. He pulled over so he wouldn't crash, and then got home once he was done. He rubbed at his nose when he got home and came inside, going right to bed and curling up on it to wait for Hope. Jazzy yapped at hiim until he told her to quiet.
 
Hope watched as he left, her eyes beginning to water as she bit her lip and turned to look away from the door when it was closed behind the man. This wasn't fair. Again that same line continued to go through her mind like it had that Sunday when they found out about the cancer, because why should something like this happen to him? He was a good person. He didn't deserve to have to go through this when he had so much to live for, when there were so many people that cared about him that wanted to see him continue on with his life like he wanted to. Sniffing, she shook her head and rested her hand against the counter that they normally ate their breakfast at, her hand curling up into a fist as she used the other one to rub under her eyes. Before she had been sad, and while that feeling was still there, still a big portion of what she was feeling, now she was beginning to feel anger about everything. But what was she angry at? The cancer? The doctor for diagnosing him with it? William? It just didn't seem real to her. She didn't want it to be real.

About thirty minutes after he left, Hope found herself leaving the apartment as well to head off to work, herself having had to grab her things before hand which she nearly forgot because of all of the thoughts that were circling through her mind. She tried to push them out of her mind, much like she had been trying to the past couple of days she had been at work, but today... She couldn't do it. She ended up crying again when she thought about William, especially when she looked at the clock to see that it was about the time that William was supposed to be heading back home, though she knew that his departure would probably be delayed once he told the news. How was he handling it? How was the person or people he told handling the situation? Again Emily came over to her when Hope covered her face with her arms as she laid her head down on the desk, the woman's hand resting against Hope's shoulder as she asked Hope what was wrong and that she wasn't going to take 'I'm fine' for an answer anymore because obviously she wasn't fine.

"He has cancer, William." It had taken her a while before the broken words had come from her mouth, her head shaking as she still refused to look up at Emily. But the woman's hand seemed to tighten before it went slack and slid down her back. She could hear the little mutter of a gasp of, "Oh my God," come from Emily, but otherwise she said nothing, something that Hope was thankful for. For right now, she just needed to get this out. She needed to get these tears out before she went back home because she didn't want to come home like this to William. Even if she wanted to cry on his shoulder and just talk about it like she had a few days ago, now she didn't want to. She wanted to avoid this as much as she could, except she knew that she couldn't. But she just didn't want to see William hurt, and she didn't want him to see her like this now because she didn't want him to be in any more distress than he probably already was in.

When she was finally able to stop the tears, Hope picked her head up and talked with Emily for a little bit about what happened and what was going on since there was nothing going on in the studio. She told Hope that since she didn't have any clients to meet with tomorrow that she could have that day off, along with Friday, since she could work on pictures from home, which Hope was grateful for and thanked Emily for so much. But even besides that, she was still going to the engagement shoot on Saturday, something that Emily asked her if she was still up for it which Hope said yes. It was an obvious lie, but she needed to do this, she knew that she needed to. But when it was time for her to leave, she did, giving Emily a hug which the woman pulled her into her, telling her that she would pray for William and then letting her go. In all honesty, even if she was close friends with her roommate that she had in college who she really only talked to over the phone with now since they lived so far away from each other, she still figured that Emily was probably the closest person to her that she had right now, besides William of course.

Before she left she went to the bathroom to get the tears off of her face and to make sure to make it seem as if she hadn't just balled her eyes out. Likely the redness of her eyes would be gone by the time she made it to the apartment, and likely the puffiness of them would go down as well. That, she figured, would be a good thing. While she still felt terrible about all of this, having talked about it with Emily helped a little as odd as that was.

Parking the car in her normal spot, Hope noticed that William's bike was parked in his spot as well, indicating that he was already back at the apartment. Was he okay, had he come home early or had he made it through the entire day? As she made her way to the apartment, she couldn't help but let those thoughts bounce through her mind, and when she opened the door she almost expected to see him in either the living room or the kitchen but saw him in neither of those places. Jazzy hadn't even come to greet her, though when she looked down the hall that led to the room she saw the dog poke her head out from the side, her ears pulled back, before she barked at her. In that sudden instance, Hope could feel her blood run cold. Was William okay? While Jazzy didn't seem to be as distressed as she had been when William had the nose bleed and ended up passing out, it still worried Hope nonetheless. It was enough to make her nearly run back to the room only to see William curled up on the bed in silence. "William?" There was evident worry in her voice, and she just about dropped her bags on the ground as she made her way over to the bed as she knelt down to look at the man that she loved. "Is everything okay? Are you okay?"
 
William shook his head when Hope came to him like that. He knew he should have said yes, play it off, try to be better, but he couldn't. "No... I.... I have cancer." He managed to choke out, trying not to cry again. He was breathing hard as a result though.

He knew it wasn't what she meant. He knew she was asking if she needed to call another ambulance or take him back to the hospital. He didn't need to go there yet. Not yet.

"I... Don't know how I can... Tell anyone else. Principal Stine was so..." He shook his head. It was too much. "My family is going to... Make things so much worse I don't know how.... How do I tell them?" He was trying not to freak out about it, but wasn't doing such a great job about it.
 
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