Afraid of Losing You {AcornTree}

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Hope was almost thankful for the little distraction that the waiter had brought with him as he came to their table with their meals. She sat back in the booth a bit as the man set down the food in front of their respective owners before he turned and walked off, muttering something about enjoying the meal and having a nice day. She curled her lip up at the saying before she quickly wiped the face away and stared down t her food, though looking at it didn't make her feel any better. Not that she had expected to anyway, but still. Her hand squeezed a bit onto William's hand again as she breathed out a sigh and reached over for her spoon that was still folded in the napkin that sat on the table in front of her.

By the time she had gotten her spoon out -because it was a little more difficult to unwrap it with one hand since she refused to take her other hand away from William's- of it's napkin Cami was speaking again. The sound of her voice caused Hope to pick her head up and look at the woman while her spoon filled hand absentmindedly started to poke at her oatmeal, but even so she couldn't help but keep her eyes transfixed on the smile that the woman sported. How could she seem so carefree and somewhat happy despite the condition that her brother was in? Again, Hope told herself that Cami was probably acting for their sake and so that the mood at the table didn't been even more depressing and sad as it already felt, and she appreciated it. Really, she did, but it nonetheless made Hope wonder whether or nor it was actually helping with anything.

Likely, it wasn't. But at least it was something. She could have been acting like the two of them; sad, scared, and overall just wishing that they could go back in time and figure out a way to stop all of this from happening in the first place. But that wasn't something any of them could do.

She nodded her head as she listened to the woman go on, herself bringing the spoon filled with oatmeal up to her lips as she blew on it gently before she opened her mouth and started to chew on the food as it was put in her mouth. In the corner of her eyesight she noticed William taking a bite out of his sandwich, something that made her feel a little better because at least he was eating, but it still didn't help with her own appetite. The food in her mouth just felt so rubbery and bland, a feeling and taste that she didn't associate with oatmeal because she actually liked the food, but she accounted that to the fact that she didn't want to eat and nearly felt sick as she forcefully swallowed the mouthful down.

She just had to keep her mind distracted though, and Cami seemed more than willing to be a distraction to them. So when her mouth was cleared of the food she nodded her head and poked her spoon back into the oatmeal and looked back up at Cami. "Vacationing in a place with snow? That doesn't sound like much of a vacation to me," she answered, her voice still weak though Hope tried to bring it back to it's normal tone. Then again, summer and beaches were what she associated with taking a vacation. Not running around in the snow, or going dog sledding. But, to each their own, she figured. She shrugged her shoulders at the thought. "Not unless it's actually during the winter, anyway, but even still that doesn't sound that relaxing." And even then she still wanted to get away from snow; sure, she could appreciate it for Christmas and she could appreciate snow for it's aesthetic appeal when it was falling and when it blanketed everything, but what she didn't appreciate was the cold and bad road conditions that it brought along with it. It was safe to say that she would rather be warm than cold, and that she would rather be in a tropical place rather than a place full of snow.

"I'm sure you'll find something though; and when you do, take pictures because I want to see them at some point." At that, she gave a faint smile, though it quickly went away just as quickly as it came. "I don't really get much time with vacations, especially not during 'prime vacation' times because of the work that I do, so seeing anything you have would let me live vicariously through you." She took another bite of her oatmeal, scrunching her face up at it before she swallowed. Her face tipped down into a frown at that point, though she didn't want it to be there but she couldn't help it as thoughts started circling through her mind. Would she be able to take another vacation with William anytime in the near future? Were they going to be able to go to her parents condo to relax and kick back? It almost worried her to think not. But again, she tried to push the thought aside.
 
Cami wanted to laugh when Hope said that her vacation didn't seem very relaxing, but she wasn't quite that good at faking normalcy. She did, however, smile again. "Vacations aren't for relaxing, vacations are for fun!" She answered. William smiled just a little bit too, when his sister said that, and it made Cami smile even more so, even if her brother's smile was gone again a few seconds later. Cami had always been one to just keep going, especially on vacations. When she was on vacation she actually had time to do all the fun stuff she wanted, and she didn't want to just laze about. Maybe one day of lazing. If she really felt like it.

"I'd like to see those pictures too." William remarked quietly around a bite-ful of sandwich. Cami looked at William again and desperately tried not to make a big deal out of him finally saying something. She had been fearing that he just wasn't going to say anything at all until their parents got here. She grinned.

"You two will be the FIRST to see the sled dogs." She agreed. Cami wondered if she should go soon then. That next week, even.... just so that she could be damn certain that William got to see the sled dog pictures. At the same time, she felt like it wouldn't be right to leave him while he was in the hospital either. She took another bite of her breakfast just as William's phone went off. William set down his sandwich to see that it was his mother calling, and instead of answering it he slid it over to Cami, face up so she could see who it was. He was most certainly going to get Cami to answer it rather than himself. If William hadn't been sick, Cami would have pushed it right back. Instead, she was just rejoicing in the fact that William had said anything at all, and so she picked it up without fussing at him.

"William's phone, this is his secretary speaking." She answered. She winced as she heard her mother scold at her from the other end of the phone. She sounded panicked, and Cami sighed. She had figured this would happen though. "Mom, calm down. We just all went out to breakfast. We didn't expect you so early, he did ASK for you not to show up so early." She mentioned, pausing to listen to her mother again. She sighed dramatically afterwards. "No, the food only just came and -" She paused again to listen and then shrugged. "We'll come after we're done eating, sorry, sheesh." Before her mother could say anything else she had the guts to simply hang up. She was buying the three of them more time before they had to deal with all of that, and she'd take the consequences of it later, for sure. For now, she felt it was the best thing to do.
 
"Vacations are for fun and relaxing," Hope mentioned with a raised brow before she dropped her gaze and looked over to William. But maybe Cami had a point; while vacationing was generally relaxing, in her mind anyway, it was always good to have fun while on vacation. She digressed though; Hope figured that it depended on the place that someone was vacationing at that dictated whether or not they would take a more relaxing route or a more run route for the course of their stay. As the simple little thought of a vacation fluttered through her mind she kept her gaze on William for another second, surprised to hear that he piped up a little response to the conversation, though was happy for the fact nonetheless. And Cami seemed to be happy with the notion as well.

Hope gave the man a small smile before turning her head to look back down. She nodded her head again to the fact that if and when she went on vacation her and William would be the first ones to see the pictures of her adventures and of the sled dogs. There was a short lull in the conversation after that point; Hope found herself a little lost for words and a little lost as to which direction to take the conversation into, but before any of them could say anything more William's phone started to ring, bringing Hope from her thoughts as she turned to look back at him. She raised her brows and tried to lean over in time to see who was on the caller id but was unable to fully see who it was before William pushed the phone over to Cami.

Must be his parents, she figured, and upon listening to the short and choppy conversation on Cami's part, as well as the facial expressions she made, she knew that her suspicions had been right. She frowned at that before taking another spoon full of oatmeal and putting it in her mouth where she let it sit there for a few seconds before she was finally able to get it down her throat. "I'm assuming that that was your parents, right?" She asked as she looked over to William and then over to Cami as she gave her a sympathetic gaze. "They must be at the apartment already and not too happy that we're not there." That and they were probably concerned over where their son was and how he was feeling. After all, how would she have acted if she went over to her child's place of living after finding out they were sick, only to see that they weren't there? Likely, she wouldn't have been happy, and a little more than scared, so in a way she figured that while she could sympathize with these two for how there parents were acting, she could also sympathize with their parents as well.
 
William himself preferred a certain amount of relaxing and fun both on his own vacations, but he hadn't said so. He just waited for Cami to answer the phone, and once she'd slid it back to him he put it in his pocket and let out a breath. He wondered if going back to his parents now might be the hardest part, but he doubted it. Already this was the hardest thing he'd ever done though. When Hope asked if it was their parents, both Cami and William nodded in affirmation. Apparently they weren't going back to them now, and William was just fine with that. Unfortunately, he didn't quite feel like eating the rest of his sandwich now. He took a bite of it anyway. It helped that the egg salad was so good.

"Yeah, they weren't too happy." Cami responded around a mouth full of eggs. "But they'll get over it. They're waiting for us in their car though, so I guess we shouldn't take TOO much longer." She responded, sending her brother a conspiratorial look that he managed a crooked smile to but did not give one back. It was kind of funny, that they had to wait in the car, but William just wasn't up for funny things at the moment. He wondered if he ever would be. He felt miserable, and he could not imagine that going away until the hospital cleared him of his sickness.

A part of him wanted to skip this bit with his parents and go right to the hospital. If he was packed, he might consider it, but he wasn't. He also knew that his parents were likely going to come to the hospital with him when he was admitted, and that made him sour. He took another bite of his food as Cami began to steer the conversation again.

"Well. I think I'll start looking at destinations soon for that dog sled run. What do you think, William, should it be Alaska, or some other place outside the US?" Cami's eyes landed on her brother's again as he thought about this.

"I guess some other place." He answered. "Why stick to the US when you don't have to." His answer was likely a result of his impending confinement to the hospital, but Cami smiled and nodded.

"Right then! So maybe like.... Iceland. Or is it Greenland the one with all the snow?"
 
Seemed like their time sitting in the little restaurant eating breakfast was getting cut a littler shorter than any of them wanted it to in order to meet up with their parents before they blew a gasket over their worrying. For a time being, however, the three of them continued to sit at the table as Hope slowly nodded her head to what they were saying, breathing out a small sigh her own self as she turned and titled her head to look at William. He mood seemed to have decreased with his mother's call, not that that surprised her, but it upset her nonetheless to think that his parents were the people that were upsetting him even more than he already was. Would they really be that bad? The two siblings seemed to think they would be, and who would Hope be to disagree with them when she had only met and talked with his parents a few times?

"Right," she breathed out as she turned back to her oatmeal. Instead of taking another bite she stirred the spoon in the goop for a while as her eyes lowered a bit. She tried to imagine how her parents would have reacted to the news of her getting cancer if her and William's positions had been switched, but all she could imagine were things that she would rather not think about. Her parents were already overbearing enough as it was, and likely if she came down with cancer they would try to blame it on some part of her lifestyle that they hated. Of course she knew they would be concerned, but she could only imagine the words that they would throw at her and how they probably wouldn't have left her alone. Hell, to be honest, if she had snuck off with William and she knew that they were coming just as they had done with William and Cami's parents, she knew that they would have come looking for her, and they probably would have found her. They had a weird way of figuring out where she was, what she was doing, and nearly always scolded her for it.

But that was besides the point. Her parents weren't of any concern to her in that moment. She knew that, at some point, she was going to tell them about William, but at what point she didn't know. She was, honestly, a little afraid to tell them because she didn't know how they would respond to it all.

The start of another conversation that centered back onto the vacation that Cami was planning was enough to bring Hope out of her thoughts. She picked her had up from her oatmeal and blinked her eyes as she listened to the little back and forth conversation between the siblings before she piped up for a second with saying, "I think it's Greenland that's cold. But I'm not sure, so don't quote me on that." She had, after all, never been out of the country though she had a desire to do so at some point in her life. "I heard it's pretty there though."

They probably spent a little longer than they should have in the establishment. Though the conversations were small and non-meaningful at best, at least it helped pass the time. Hope only ate about half her oatmeal before she pushed it away from herself, unable to eat any more of it as her stomach started to rumble and not in the pleasant way. She leaned back against the seat and ran a hand through her hair as their conversations died down as as she looked at the other two occupants at the table. "So... Are you two ready to leave yet?" She questioned quietly as she squeezed William's hand lightly.
 
William looked at Hope when she spoke up about the country and then back at Cami, mentioning something about picking a place where the occupants knew English. The conversations were kind of quiet and pointless, but that was okay for William. He didn't want to talk about anything deep and meaningful anyway, but he also didn't want their breakfast to be filled with uneasy silence. Besides that, just talking, even if it was about things that didn't matter, helped to keep William's mind off of the things that did.

When Hope asked if they were ready to leave, William had eaten about 3/4ths of his sandwich and wasn't intending on eating anymore. His sister, on the other hand, had finished near everything on her plate. William took in a deep breath and sighed heavily. "Yeah... we should probably head back. They're going to be mad either way but... the less time they have to spend in the car, probably the better..." William responded. Cami got up from the table.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't get into trouble." She said as she stood up. "Thats my job as the older sibling anyway." She winked.

That brought a small smile to William's lips. "You've changed your tune... when we were younger you said it was your job to get me into trouble..." He accused. Cami winked at him and then took them back to her car.
 
She hadn't been the one to want to initiate the leaving process, but Hope knew that they couldn't sit here forever with William and Cami's parents waiting for them back at the apartment. That, and the fact that since they hadn't taken Jazzy out before they left she probably needed to go out as well before she caused a mess on the floor. But she pushed the thought aside and decided to let he siblings dictate when they wanted to leave, and when they agreed shortly after she spoke the question, Hope nodded her head. She had half a mind to ask if William wanted a take out box for his food, but in the ended decided against the suggestion and instead kept quiet. He wasn't going to eat the food later on, and keeping it in the fridge at the apartment was going to do neither of them good since Hope wasn't going to eat it either.

So with that she scooted over and got out of the booth after William did, listening, again, to the siblings going back and forth with a little conversation that even made her smile a little. The fact that she noticed William smiling a little eased the tension on her face, but as she reached for William's hand again and grabbed it, the sullen look that had been on her expression before crept back up on her. At times, she wished she had a sibling that she could talk to; someone who she could have pointless banter with and complain to about their parents, but even so she liked the solidarity that came with being an only sibling. She didn't really like the undivided attention that her parents gave her because they had no other child to put their focus on, but sometimes she liked being an only sibling. At least she didn't get compared to anyone. At least she hadn't had those bouts of arguments and fights with a sibling that she imagined most siblings had with one another.

Hope walked closely to William as they started back towards the car, her eyes searching it out before they located the spot that they had left it in and hopped in. Again, just as it had been last time, she disconnected her hands with William and then grabbed back onto it as soon as they got into the back seat with one another. Unlike in the restaurant, and even back at the apartment, Hope stayed quiet throughout the ride. Her eyes were stationed to look out the window at the passing scenery as the nerves continued to rise in her body with the impending sense that things weren't going to turn out as good as she wanted them to. She wanted to believe that the parents weren't going to be bad, but William and Cami's obvious hesitation towards the matter didn't make her feel any more confident about her own insistence that they would be fine.

But her worry strung off from that; of course, she was worried about how they would react to William and what they would ask, do, and say to him, but she worried about what they would think of her. Sure, she knew that William mentioned that his mom hadn't been happy when he told them that she was moving in with him, but this was going to be the first time she was going to see his parents since she moved in. Would their opinions be different? Would they make her go away because she wasn't family and because they wanted only the family to spend time with their son? She frowned at the thought as she swallowed. She hoped that wouldn't be the case, but who was to say that they wouldn't do exactly that?

Her heart continued to beat in her chest as they pulled back into the complex and navigated their way back towards where their apartment was. When the car was parked and shut off, Hope didn't make a move to move until she finally decided that they couldn't wait any longer. She turned and looked at William and gave him a forced smile as she squeezed his hand and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Everything will be okay," she whispered to him, trying to give him the encouragement that she wished to feel yet didn't. She pulled back then and let go of his hand to open her car door before she got out and shut it behind her. So... Where were the parents?
 
William shook his head a little. At least that seemed to make him a tiny bit happy. He got back into the car, reaching for Hope's hand once they were in the back seat at the same time she was reaching for his. At least they seemed to need each other in the same degree. William had been nervous he was being too clingy, but Hope was reaching for him too so his fears were quelled a little bit on that front.

The car ride back to their apartment was quiet. Even Cami didn't say much. Since no one seemed keen on conversation, Cami turned on the radio. It was on an alternative station, and William wasn't familiar with the song but he drummed the fingers of the hand not holding Hope's to the beat of the song. Sooner rather than later, it seemed like, Cami pulled them into a parking space in front of their apartment. William had already spotted the burgundy van his parents drove. They had spotted Cami's car too, apparently, because their mother was already getting out of the passenger's side as his father turned the engine off on their car.

William took a deep breath and held Hope's hand a little harder He had to let it go though. He new that. He looked at Hope and then let go of her hand to push the car door open and get out form the back seat once Cami had taken the key out of the ignition. William was barely out of the car before his mother had enveloped him in a hug. She was already crying and William was already trying to find more strength to deal with it. "Mom..." He awkwardly hugged her back as his father came around to the grouping also.

"Come on mom, youre crushing him!" Cami attempted to help the situation, but she received a stern look from her father. Probably for going out to breakfast without them. She gave him an apologetic look back and a quick kiss to the cheek, and he lightened up at least a little bit. Once William was released from his mother's hug he let out a soft sigh and looked for Hope to hold her hand again.

"Lets all get inside." His mother said, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue she had taken from her pocket. William imagined she had gone though a lot of tissues already, to be keeping them in her pockets now.
 
As soon as Hope stepped out of the car and turned to look to the side, she saw William's mother running over to them, by passing her and Cami and quickly folding herself against William as her cries broke through the silence that had been between them. Hope couldn't help but grimace as the sight, as well as feel her own throat begin to tighten at the display before Cami finally spoke up to try and get the woman to not hold onto William as tightly as she was. Hope nearly had half a mind to think that the woman wasn't going to listen, but was surprised when she actually did. Nonetheless, she let her eyes travel over the rest of the family with pinched brows and with a heavy heart before she sighed and snapped to attention when she felt William's hand connect with her's again.

She turned and looked in his direction as she gave him a small, sympathetic smile before she let the expression drop and turned to look back at William's mom. She nodded in agreement to what the woman said as she squeezed onto William's hand a little tighter and started to pull him along the direction towards the apartment. She went up the stairs, turned back to make sure that the rest of the family was following, and turned back to look ahead as she finally stopped at their door. Well... How were things going to play out now, once they were back in the apartment? She hesitated at the thought, her hand free hand twitching at her side before she finally moved it and reached in the inside of her purse to retrieve the keys out. Once she grabbed them she took a breath and unlocked the door, hearing on the other side of the door Jazzy's barking, and then she opened it, soon enough seeing the dog sitting right at the door with her tail wagging furiously and with another bark escaping her mouth.

She pulled her and William into the apartment then. Jazzy backed up with them and sniffed at their legs before she stood by William and looked at the other people that were beginning to come into the apartment, her tail stopping its movement. Had Hope been in a better mood, she probably would have laughed at how confused the little dog probably was about everything. Instead, though, she cleared her throat and let go of William's hand as she turned to look back at the family, more specifically his parents. She gave them both strained smiles before she ran a hand through her hair and let it trail against the back of her neck. "Would you two like anything to drink?" She questioned as she finally found her voice to speak. "You two must be thirsty from having to sit in the car all that time... But we have water, or lemonade or... Anything else, maybe?"
 
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