You What?

[Laggy Lagiacrus]

Have you ever come across a situation in which the stupidity of the person you were speaking to just astounded you, beyond the levels any normal human could think to achieve? Share them here. You know, because that stuff's funny.

I remember one instance in English, where I had to work with the commoners people in set two.
We were reviewing the person next to us' poem, and my partner asked why I had used the word frigid. I said it was because the rain was cold. She simply stared at me as if I had just gone "Because poop babies fridge magnets."
I had to explain to her that frigid was another word for cold - she was only familiar with it as the slang word of the week.
Needless to say, I tried to do as much of my reviewing by myself wherever possible, from then on.

 

[Eve lilith Angelson]

(That's classic)

I was at work (I work in a market hall and the stall I work on sells wool and other haberdashery items) and well there are a lot of stupid people who come through where I work but the one that really sticks in my mind is.
One day I was working on the wool side of the stall (I'm standing in front of around 1000 balls of all different colours of wool) when a woman walks up to me and ask's "Do you sell wool?" I looked behind me and then back at the woman with a raised eyebrow and said "No sorry I only have bacon and sausages" With that she smiled and said "Oh sorry to bother you and walked off" I was so gobsmacked I didn't know what to say or do.

 

[Minibit]

As a service worker, I have a few; ill just share some short ones

"What is the difference between oranges and cream cake and lemon and cream cake?" ...

"Can I have one?" (Indicating a tray of samples) no, they're for display.

"Where do I put my garbage?" In the hole with the big 'garbage here' sign

"Does breaded haddock contain gluten?"

'Does your son have allergies?'
"No"
'Can I give him a dessert sample?'
"Sure" (as he's eating it) "what is it?"
'Red velvet cake'
*laughs* 'he's allergic to cocoa and red food dye'
Kid didnt pass out or anything and she said he'd be fine but CHRIST DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!

*seeing me in my freezer coat* are you expecting a storm/blizzard? ( It's a FROZEN FOOD STORE)

'Now you're just trying to sell me stuff!' (I'm a salesperson...)

I could go on =.=

 

[Eve lilith Angelson]

[MENTION=1185]Minibit[/MENTION] Working with the general public is so much fun, some of them really do know stupid.

 

[Ryuu]

I was talking to some girl about my boyfriend and then she says, "Do you have a girlfriend, too?"

And I'm just like... "No?"

"But aren't you bi?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Doesn't that mean you get to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time?"

Vat.

 

[MurderDeathKill]

Some of the complaints I have gotten at previous jobs made me go "wat" in a very real sense. For example, my supervisor took me aside and let me know people didn't like the way I would take files that were handed to me, as if I was stabbing my coworkers as they gave me stuff or something. ._.

Also, some of the shit my mom's friends have said, good God.

 

[Falcon]

Ok, so one day I was walking down the platform at the D&SNGRR (Durango and SIlverton Narrow Gauge Rail Road) when behind me I heard some lady say, "You know, if they ran steam it'd be cleaner!" I look ahead to where they've got the big K-36 hooked to the front (If that's not a steam engine I don't know what is) and back at her hoping she was just being sarcastic or something. Nope, she looked completely serious.
I just walked away, got on the train, and found my seat. I figured I'd let one of the employees set her straight.

The other one I've heard is this, "At what elevation do deer become elk?" from a guy dressed in hunting gear. (they're two different animals)

 

[Minibit]

Oh, a non work-related one I get a lot in random chats like Omegle and chat roulette


'Asl?
'22/f/bc
'What state is that'
Or
'Do you mean DC?'

*flips table*
BRITISH COLUMBIA IS A CANADIAN PROVINCE!!!

 

[Captain Scrubz]

I go out and camp out at a living history event. People come round and see how people travelled or lived years ago. Me and my Family set our year just after the civil war.

Many people have a look some ask questions. We have a self built BBQ so we get the fire going so we can have our cuppa and cook our breakfast and someone asks "Is that a real fire"

 

[Super Cat]

I've dealt with a lot of stupid people, being a medic just attracts them.

I had a guy complaining about some pain after he hurt his ankle, so I checked it out and it was fine except for minor swelling. So I gave him 3200 mg of ibuprofen and told him to take 800 mgs at a time every 6 hours. I see him about 4 hours later and ask how he feels. He told me he took all 3200 mgs at one time. I should've known better than to give out that much meds to an infantryman.

Another time I had a guy with wrist/forearm problems, and it seemed to be turning into a stress fracture. It only hurt when he did a certain amount of weight so I told him to lift less and let it heal. He just ignored me and kept complaining that it hurt and I didnt do anything.

I've got about a hundred more stories like this, some are even worse.

 

[Revision]

I think the one that stands out most in my mind is this one:

When I worked fast food, I was talking about sports with some coworkers and mentioned Fencing.

"Is that where they compete to see who builds fences the fastest?"

I think I stood silent for about twenty seconds.

 

[Kitti]

Hmmm. As a retail worker, I too have many stories. The one that comes to mind first, though, is someone I was being sarcastic with because it vexes me when people approach me for help and only make useless statements until I pry their questions from them.

Customer: Uhm, hi. I want a game.
Me: Oh, yeah? That's too bad, we don't sell those anymore. (I work at a game store. I'm literally surrounded by...)
Customer: Oh. All right.

They turned to leave. I stood there in surprise while my coworker went and fetched them to tell that that I was being sarcastic.

 

[Cry]

hummmmmm stupied person here we go American blondy o god she the reason Americans and blondy's have a bad name:

I walking around lost as ever in florada I see a nice looking lady 'the True blondy' i call her.
me hello umm im lost
blondy: oh well let wait here for who ever looking for you.
me Ok
blondy humm are you from around here
me no im from canada
Blondy oh where that some where south of florada.
me 0.0 *thinking you are reason blondy have a bad name in canada*

after that i just left and told this to my friends when i finely fine them laughed are heads off
the end

 

[LogicfromLogic]

Oh the stories I can share with all of you pleasant people. Here's one that even this day I cringe at:

Back when I was but a 16 year old boy I was dating this hoitie toytie girl named Alyssa. Well, she hated the smell of my Axe and forced me to wear this Cotton Candy body spray shit. So I was just like 'Eh whatever, what could it hurt? My manhood? Pffft.' It actually smelled pretty good, I didn't care if I smelled like a girl's locker; I was fabulous. So when I went to youth group with my two sisters Karen and Amie, Karen asked me what I was wearing. I told her that Alyssa wanted me to wear it. I gave her the can and she...ate it. She fucking put the nozzle in her mouth and ate the spray. She asked me what the hell kind of candy this was. I just about beat her with the can to try to shake her to common sense of some sorts. To this day, she still thinks that it was candy despite my reasoning with her that I had made it clear that it was body spray.

 

[LogicfromLogic]

I go out and camp out at a living history event. People come round and see how people travelled or lived years ago. Me and my Family set our year just after the civil war.

Many people have a look some ask questions. We have a self built BBQ so we get the fire going so we can have our cuppa and cook our breakfast and someone asks "Is that a real fire"

I think you should tell them to touch it and tell you.

 

[Captain Scrubz]

I think you should tell them to touch it and tell you.

It's the reply I get when I told my mates. :)

 

[Hounds]

probably the most annoying idiot I've come a across was in BO2 I was telling this riddle to a kid "there are six sisters, each sister has a brother how many brothers are there?" the kid said six obviously cause he couldn't figure out that it was just one brother that was related to all of them. I spend 20 minutes trying to explain it over and over again but he was dead set that there were six brothers. -_-

Funniest was when we got a my brother his new car, came with two electronic keys, I had one with me when we left the dealer, so we pull into the driveway and he clicks the lock button and locks it. I get out the key I had and set it to unlock he turns back looks at it for a sec then locks it again I then unlock it again. This goes on for about 2-3 minutes, it actually got to the point that my dad thought something was wrong with it too. Could barely contain myself watching this from inside my mom's car, I couldn't believe he actually fell for it, I was so tempted to just hit the panic button.

 

[Quiet One]

I was talking to some girl about my boyfriend and then she says, "Do you have a girlfriend, too?"

And I'm just like... "No?"

"But aren't you bi?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Doesn't that mean you get to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time?"

Vat.

It's what everybody hopes it means.

I know a Creationist. Not somebody who believes in God, I have no problem with them. Someone who doesn't believe in f@#kin' evolution. I don't know how I got into this conversation with him on the bus, but I found myself explaining the concept of FOSSILS to someone attending COLLEGE. Should you even be allowed to attend school if you're that stupid?! Look, you can believe in God all you want. You can believe he set everything in motion. But there is significant enough evidence for evolution that I shouldn't have to talk to someone on my way to college and go, "Evolution? Yeah, that happened."

Sorry this turned into a rant.

 

[Minibit]

f@#kin'[/EMAIL] evolution. I don't know how I got into this conversation with him on the bus, but I found myself explaining the concept of FOSSILS to someone attending COLLEGE. Should you even be allowed to attend school if you're that stupid?! Look, you can believe in God all you want. You can believe he set everything in motion. But there is significant enough evidence for evolution that I shouldn't have to talk to someone on my way to college and go, "Evolution? Yeah, that happened."

Sorry this turned into a rant.

THEN WHY ARE THERE STILL MONKEYS HURRDURR

because we evolved from a common ancestor, not from the monkeys we know today. Idiot.

 

[Laggy Lagiacrus]

Our RS teacher was encouraging us to have a healthy debate over gay marriage, and one person stated that he was against it. He was asked why, and beyond "I think it's wrong," he didn't have anything to back up his answer. As in, he didn't even try to defend his opinion, he was just against it because he didn't like it.

Little tip for any prospective teachers out there - if you're going to try and promote debate amongst a class, make sure you only include students who can actually formulate an intelligible response.