You What?

[Fluffy]

I worked for Cabela's for a few months as a seasonal cashier. For those unaware: Cabela's is a very conservative (but very awesome) store with camping gear, stuffed animals, hunting equipment, etc...

Customer: "Hello, Missy. How are you doing?"

Me: "I'm great, how are you?"

Customer: "Oh, I'm good. Tell me, are you a Christian?"

Me: *Apologetic smile* "No, sir. I'm afraid not."

Customer: *Dull voice* "Oh... Well, nevermind then. I'll just go over to that gal over there. I know for a fact she prays to Jesus."

Me: "... Are you sure, sir? I just finished ringing up your items. The total is--"

Customer: *Interrupts* "Ah! Nono, please give me my things back."

Me: "We're really busy today, though. If you could just--" (We really were busy. I even remember that some of us were called over from our lunch breaks because all the cash lanes were crowded. ><;)

Customer: "Nope, I'll just be on my way. Excuse me." *Reaches over for bagged goods and takes them to the cashier across the way*

Me: "O-Okay then, Happy Holidays!"

Customer: "No, ma'am. It's Merry Christmas." *Glare*

... e___e; I just... I couldn't see why me not being a Christian didn't make me a qualified cashier for this dude. He was being stupid. I remember that he requested to see our MOD because things weren't moving quickly enough for him. Um, things would have been nice and fast if he woulda just let me take his money and send him on his merry way.

 

[Quiet One]

He should've asked Jesus to ring up his purchases.

 

[Falcon]

*sigh* it seems that guy failed to read " . . . Love thy neighbor . . ." (Mathew 22:36-40)
Sorry you had to deal with that, I sincerely hope you've met some of us (Christians) who were worth talking to, about anything I mean not . . .

Anyway, Here's another one.
This one didn't actually happen to me, but I heard it from my aunt and couldn't help sharing. (Not sure where she got it or if it happened to her or not)
The woman in the story (may or may not have been my aunt) was behind a lady in the super market. They had put one of those dividers between their groceries. As the clerk finished ringing up the first woman's groceries she (the clerk) picked up the divider, started looking for the price and said "i'm sorry, do you remember how much this was?"

 

[Laggy Lagiacrus]

Three fifty?

---

So I'm in an argument with some guy. Let's just call him B. B is someone with the IQ of a small rock. One of B's friends is sitting nearby, watching us.

Me: You can't even tie your shoes properly.
Friend: He actually can't.

B was wearing Velcro shoes.

 

[fatalrendezvous]

I had a friend in high school who was moving her computer from a common area in her house and putting it in her room. I got a call from her that day and she was complaining saying her computer wouldn't work, and if I could come and take a look. Now, I'm no tech genius, but I know my way around a computer decently enough, so I figured, why not.

I go to her room where her computer is supposed to be, and literally all she has set up is the computer monitor. Not the computer itself, just the monitor. I asked her, "where is your computer?" and she looks at me like I'm stupid and points at the monitor and says "It's right there."

/facepalm

 

[Fluffy]

*sigh* it seems that guy failed to read " . . . Love thy neighbor . . ." (Mathew 22:36-40)
Sorry you had to deal with that, I sincerely hope you've met some of us (Christians) who were worth talking to, about anything I mean not . . .[/quote

Oh, of course! I'm friends with some Christians that are so delightful, and I've had some memorable discussions with others. <3

 

[CosmicWeinerDog]

If I had a nickle for every stupid thing I ever heard when in the military, I'd have more money than Jay-Z.

I was once written up (And would have been given an Article 15 if I didn't refuse to sign it and opt instead for a court marshal. An article 15 = loss in rank/pay/corrective action) for running after hours on my own time in an open unrestricted area.

I'll pull it out one of these days and post it up. It's mindbendingly stupid.

 

[Laggy Lagiacrus]

Before I begin, I'd like to explain that me and the person involved are both great friends, and trained martial artists. We knew what we were doing.

So, for reasons I do not remember, he decided to see how hard my abs were. I can tense them hard - not rock-hard, but it's better than the untrained individual. He asks if he can hit them - not hard, just something to test them out. I reluctantly say yes, knowing he won't stop asking until I say so.
He takes the punch, but doesn't do it right. He ends up with a sore wrist and hand, while I get off with little more than a confused look.

 

[Lady Sabine]

I convinced my mother that if you say "gullible" slowly enough, it will eventually sound like the word "oranges".
I also did the "if your hand is bigger than your face, it's a sign of genetic stupidity" trick to her.
Man, I do like one every six months. I don't think I've ever tried one she doesn't fall for. At least she still laughs every time.

 

[TemoKun]

Prepare to feel pain in your belly!
In my class, I'm the best student in English, and my teacher is a "Chanel" Person.
One day, we were having a conversation, a discussion, with the rest of my classmates and the subject was "Potato Chips", since she caught my friend eating some in the middle of class.
All we were talking about were the ingredients, and some began to say they were made of a dough made out of potato left-overs, then, my teacher, turned to me and said, "And ketchup is made out of ball's blood."
I was very... "wtf"'d at the moment, why did she look at me?
And then she covered up her mouth and said "did I say it that loud?"
Everyone was laughing and now some are assuming that she's a balls hunter for Heinz, trying to find the best balls to make a great ketchup.
Wtf just happened.

 

[Kylulu]

So this happened just a few minutes ago >_>

I was watching a video from Sex+, cause I adore Laci Green, when my dad came in to see what I was watching. We got to talking a little bit and the conversation turned to gays. Holy hell o___o

"I think it is wrong for a gay couple to adopt children. They are a biological dead end and shouldn't be allowed to compete for children with a mother and father who medically can't have children."

"So you would rather children stay orphaned, than have two moms or two dads?"

"If they're trying to adopt special needs children, or children after a certain age, that's different. But adopting babies and turning them into other gay people is wrong."

Just... What?! *head-desk* WHAT!?! NO! THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

 

[Ryuu]

^

OUR PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED!!! ABORT! ABORT!

 

[Levusti]

Lev has a few.

Lev has a secret. Lev's real name is Dwayne and Lev is Asian, but the name Dwayne is typically given to someone who is African American or older White/Anglo American males.

I cannot tell you how often that this happens when I answer the phone at the Thai restaurant where I work to place take-out orders.

I see the customer coming in for pick-up asking, "Where's Dwayne?"​

I always say very politely in return, "I'm Dwayne, sir/ma'am."​

And then they laugh and they're like, "NO REALLY."​

I mean, can my name not be Dwayne if I'm Asian?


I work at a Thai Restaurant and I always get silly questions like, "So where is Thailand? Like in Canada, right?"


I was a victim of stupidity the other day. I speak Filipino at home and I speak English and/or Spanish elsewhere. Sometimes, if I have to transition REALLY quickly to other languages, my brain fails to fully switch and so I speak with weird accents or I scramble my syntax. The other day, I was just slurring all my English and was having trouble speaking properly, after which I had try to say, "I can't seem to speak English well today..." Instead I had said in all frustrated honesty, "I no can English."


I'm Medical Lab Tech (MLT) courses--y'know, the people who do all the lab work on your blood in hospitals or in clinics? Well I was wearing my scrubs cause that's our required uniforms and I had to do a few errands at a few places and this happened today with a cashier.

"So, uh, are you in the medical field?"​

"Yes, ma'am."​

"Oh, I thought so. I think it's something about the way you dress that kinda gives that impression."​

...
Well, gee, I never thought that these scrubs would ever lead someone to think like that. Good eyes.


I was talking to someone and I had said, "Oh, you have a point there." She screamed, "WHERE?!" and was looking everywhere for that point.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

we gays are all about that shit converting other people into gays and stuff you know because the whole idea of gay rights is totally to try and make other people gay like what russia and westboro baptist church might say totally

So here's something I found on tumblr

A+ snarky maintenance

 

[TemoKun]

[MENTION=3504]VerbalAbuse[/MENTION] I didn't know you were gay.

 

[Quiet One]

I think one of the morals we can all take from this thread is that it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, so long as you're not stupid.

 

[TemoKun]

I think so.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

[MENTION=5317]TemoKun[/MENTION] I'm in a relationship with a trans*male, if that counts.

 

[Laggy Lagiacrus]

I did the unthinkale once, and joined a site full of Twihards, Beliebers and Directioners. I was never the same when I got out.

Also, I'm going to attempt to join my college's debating society. I expect a metric ton of idiocy to fall right into my lap.

 

[Quiet One]

He's a madman! A MADMAN!!!