Working fast food in a troubled neighborhood: Stories from the abyss.

[Shiri]

These old men are like a dime a dozen here. Anything that isn't like them is considered their enemy. Its both funny and scary, tbh.

 

[Brovo]

Charming As The Devil's Son

So today, we were told that the two cashiers on duty (myself & Cashier A) as well as drive-through (Cashier B) were going to have a competition over who managed to sell the most of our current sandwich special. (Which is the loaded Italian btw. It's overpriced but does taste good.) Being that I was the new guy, the other cashiers looked at me with some level of pity, as though I wouldn't be able to keep up and they would have to try and handicap themselves to allow me to succeed in some way. They weren't really mean about it, but they were both the chatty cathy types, so I could overhear them doubting me in the back while I was finishing with some brief stocking. I saw a couple customers coming in and asked if I could take them first. They agreed, waving me off, again, likely with pity.

Bam, two specials sold. They looked surprised, and I simply glanced their way and smiled in a friendly way. Meanwhile, within the back of my mind...

Needless to say, in spite of attempts to then sabotage me, I kept my lead and won the competition without ever losing it at any point. Everyone (myself included, really) expected drive-through to crush it, because they simply get more opportunities via more customers. Nope, they lost it, to such a crushing degree that both cashier positions at the front of the store, individually, sold more of the special than the drive-through managed at all.

Turns out, customer service and a charming smile will win you more money per customer than the convenience of the drive-through. About 20-30% more, in fact. And I'm the goddamn king of bullshit smiles, apparently.

Oh, and I'm still friendly with all my coworkers. It was a friendly competition after all, not a bloodthirsty deathmatch. The reward was only 10 bucks.

The Cup Runneth Over... With Stupidity

Here is a list of the stupidest questions I have heard both at drive-through and at front till so far. Feel free to quote the ones that caused you the most pain and/or laughter.

1. "Does your roast beef contain pork?"
2. "Can I have [insert McDonalds/Burger King/et cetera item here]." (This once happened 15 times in one day, with one lady in particular doing it 3 times in a row in drive-through before finally stumbling onto a thing we do actually sell.)
3. "Can I have my sandwich with American bacon?" (No? What? That is a stupid fucking question. Bacon is bacon, it comes from pork, doesn't matter where from the pig it came from, christ.)
4. "Is this water Halal?" (... I... Would assume so, yes.)
5. "Do you sell vegan sandwiches?" (No. We're Arby's. We sell fucktons of meat and pretty much nothing else. The only vegan-okay food we could even feasibly sell would be the fries.)
6. "Can I have milk for my son, but the kind that isn't a dairy product, because he's allergic to dairy." (... You fuckin' wot mate? We carry two kinds of milk: Cow milk, and chocolate cow milk. You can see that on the menu. We're not a grocery store.)
7. "Are your animals certified from farms that don't torture them in pens all their lives?" (Bro I barely fuckin' know if this meat is from North America, leave alone if it's certified anything beyond being food... And only technically food, at that.)
8. "Can I have a sandwich and pay you back for it later?" (Do we look like a bank to you?)
9. "Can I have change for this 100 dollar bill?" (I'm going to murder you. We're not even supposed to take those most days. Even when we do, we can take like, one. If it's part of an order in excess of 20 dollars. Otherwise you will deplete our till with it and then we can't serve in cash to any other customers.)
10. "Do you think this tastes good?" (It's my job to say yes and lie to you about it either way, why the fuck do you trust me?)
11. "Can you give me an employee discount?" (No.)
12. "Can you just upsize the fries beyond large?" (No. There is no size beyond large.)
13. [After buying sandwiches, et cetera, gets them all.] "Can I change my order?" (No. You've paid for it, you've got it, now eat it. I can get you a new order, though.)
14. "I demand a refund!" (If you ate the fucking sandwich, I can't give you a refund, except under extenuating circumstances. Seriously, I'll go get my manager, they'll tell you the same thing. You can get a refund if we overcharged you. If you got the wrong order, we'll happily apologize and get you the right one, but you'll need to prove it with a receipt, which we hand to you, even if you decline wanting one. For this specific reason.)
15. "Can I sell you X?" (No. We're selling you a product, fuck off. Go call the higher ups if you want to sell Arby's on something, individual stores have no power to change their menu or most finances, so trying to sell us something is pointless.)

They Came From... Behind!

This is a story of instant karma and social humiliation. Something different from the usual fair of screeching daddy's girls, drug addicts, drunk natives, and so on. A fair change of pace, I think. It started with one of the old homophobic dipshits from Episode 2 coming in and ordering a coffee. He struck up a conversation with me while he waited for me to get his coffee, sugar, and cream. (If the store ain't busy, I can do extra things to make a customer happy. Also, this was the more reasonable guy from earlier. The one who said that gays making a new soviet union was "a bit crazy.") A gay couple (two women) entered the store as captain dipshit here starts talking to me about the gay agenda, and why gays don't belong in politics. Now, he doesn't seem to notice that they're gay. I however, do. You know that "gaydar" thing, that strange feeilng? Well, I didn't really need that, cuz' I saw em' smooch each other on the way in the door. He didn't. I kept my mouth shut though, because I wanted to see how this would go.

As I finish making the coffee and hand it to the old guy, I notice he had turned his attention to the two girls. They were nodding and simply listening, tolerating his spew about how "dem NDP gays" were ruining the oil-based economy. The two girls then held each other's hands and kept smiling. Old guy compliments their manners and looks. One of them finally opens their mouth and says "thanks, I'm sure me and my girlfriend will remember this."

Homophobe took a few seconds to catch on, then, finally, he seemed quite humiliated. He was alone, and the two girls offered to eat with him. He quietly accepted. They sat down and enjoyed their meal. He walked out smiling, they walked out smiling.

There was no explosive drama. They actually communicated and learned about each other and grew as a result of it.

Nobody is going to goddamn believe me, but, hell, it happened. Now whether the homophobe is actually going to be a better person as a result of this event, hell if I know. I hope so. We'll see when I next see the guy. From here on out, we'll call him Reasonable Homophobe. Hopefully that second word will get dropped when next I speak with the guy.

 

[Windsong]

All these remind me of working a gas station right off the highway between Sarasota/My County. It was on the path to Miami from Tampa and we were the only station at that exit. Since this is Brovo's thread I won't flood it with my stuff.

Little Station

Except when a pimp and hookers came in at 2AM once and inquired about our 5+ hour old pizzas in the warmer. They asked if they could have them. We had meant to toss them hours ago anyway. Yeah, sure. They're old so heads up not the best in the world. Not that they cared, the girls had obvious marks in their elbow crook (cocaine), the guy (in all his purple and gold glory) had a dash of white under his rather dark nose.

They offered to pay. I said it's no big deal throwing them out etc etc.

So they flash us.

Six pairs of titties thrown at me and the half-dead stoner sitting on milk crates behind me.

"Ya' boys a'ight. C'mon gulls, Miami ain't quiet yet."

 

[Kagayours]

"Can I have my sandwich with American bacon?" (No? What? That is a stupid fucking question. Bacon is bacon, it comes from pork, doesn't matter where from the pig it came from, christ.)

Uhhh... Ok, so, I'm American, not Canadian, so I'm not 100% sure if the terminology you guys use up there works the same way, but... here in the US, at least, the difference between "Canadian bacon" and "American bacon" (or just "bacon" as it's called here) has absolutely nothing to do with where the pig came from. @_@ It refers to how the meat is prepared.

Soooo... assuming that, in Canada, the terminology is still about the same, and this is Canadian bacon:

Spoiler

While this is American bacon:

Spoiler

That doesn't sound like too ridiculous of a question to me. @_@

Additionally;

"Does your roast beef contain pork?"

In any other context, I would agree that this is a ridiculous question.

But, you're working at a fast food place. I'm not even fully convinced that the "beef" in fast food is 100% meat from any animal, much less 100% cow meat. So, I don't blame someone for thinking that there's some pig in their "beef". I wouldn't be too surprised if I found out there was horse meat in there, much less something like a pig.

 

[Saito Hajime]

1. "Can I sell you X?" (No. We're selling you a product, fuck off. Go call the higher ups if you want to sell Arby's on something, individual stores have no power to change their menu or most finances, so trying to sell us something is pointless.)

Is this you, Brovo?

 

[Brovo]

Soooo... assuming that, in Canada, the terminology is still about the same, and this is Canadian bacon:

No. It's not. It's really not. That's just sliced ham. lol Bacon is bacon. Hell, every sandwich even has a picture so you can see what it is. It very, painfully clearly shows that it's bacon-bacon. That's why the question is stupid.

Plus, it's a fast food restaurant. If we aren't selling it in a sandwich, it's not available as an alternative. Period.

In any other context, I would agree that this is a ridiculous question.

But, you're working at a fast food place. I'm not even fully convinced that the "beef" in fast food is 100% meat from any animal, much less 100% cow meat. So, I don't blame someone for thinking that there's some pig in their "beef". I wouldn't be too surprised if I found out there was horse meat in there, much less something like a pig.

#1: How the fuck is any fast food employee going to know that at all to be able to answer the question? All we know about the meat is about as much as you know about the meat, save that we have a chart that says what meat is what.
#2: We have health standards. It's kind of, you know, 100% illegal to sell not-beef beef, or not-pork pork, without disclosing that. I mean, in the US, you might be able to just sell whatever you want and call it meat, but Canada has actual standards.
#3: If you're seriously that concerned about food contamination, why are you ordering food out at a fast food restaurant? Hell, even legit restaurants have severe issues keeping their food 100% not contaminated unless they're highly prestigious in some way.
#4: Eat your fucking food, I'm not your doctor, Christ.

Seriously, if there was horse meat found in the meat, that would be front page news and Arby's would be feeling the pain. Plus I'd like to think I could recognize not-pork pork, or not-beef beef. The roast beef is only roast beef to the best possible standards given time constraints and health laws. If that's not a good enough answer (and really, what should be the assumption when you're eating out and not cooking for yourself), then your standards are far too high and you fall into the "daddy's money" category of people. And as aforementioned stories went, I don't care about daddy's money people.

 

[Kagayours]

No. It's not. It's really not. That's just sliced ham. lol Bacon is bacon. Hell, every sandwich even has a picture so you can see what it is. It very, painfully clearly shows that it's bacon-bacon. That's why the question is stupid.

...Wait, so... the stuff that Americans call "Canadian bacon"... is not what Canadians refer to as bacon?

Am I understanding this right?

#1: How the fuck is any fast food employee going to know that at all to be able to answer the question? All we know about the meat is about as much as you know about the meat, save that we have a chart that says what meat is what.
#2: We have health standards. It's kind of, you know, 100% illegal to sell not-beef beef, or not-pork pork, without disclosing that. I mean, in the US, you might be able to just sell whatever you want and call it meat, but Canada has actual standards.
#3: If you're seriously that concerned about food contamination, why are you ordering food out at a fast food restaurant? Hell, even legit restaurants have severe issues keeping their food 100% not contaminated unless they're highly prestigious in some way.
#4: Eat your fucking food, I'm not your doctor, Christ.

Seriously, if there was horse meat found in the meat, that would be front page news and Arby's would be feeling the pain. Plus I'd like to think I could recognize not-pork pork, or not-beef beef. The roast beef is only roast beef to the best possible standards given time constraints and health laws. If that's not a good enough answer (and really, what should be the assumption when you're eating out and not cooking for yourself), then your standards are far too high and you fall into the "daddy's money" category of people. And as aforementioned stories went, I don't care about daddy's money people.

@_@ I was half-joking with that. Maybe should've put a 'XD' on the end to make that more clear or something.

I was more-so implying that I can understand why people would be doubtful about fast food meat -- not necessarily implying that there was any actual pork, or that you would be able to answer that question. (I suppose I should've clarified that I wasn't trying to say that either of the questions I quoted were 100% reasonable -- just that they were a tad less ridiculous than they at first appeared, at least to me.)

I'll just... keep my comments to myself from now on.

 

[Jorick]

...Wait, so... the stuff that Americans call "Canadian bacon"... is not what Canadians refer to as bacon?

Am I understanding this right?

Nope. Their bacon is the same as our bacon. "Canadian bacon" is an American term. :P

 

[Kagayours]

Nope. Their bacon is the same as our bacon. "Canadian bacon" is an American term. :P

OH. Ok. That makes a lot more sense then.

Sorry sorry, I'll... stop trying to defend these customers.

 

[Dervish]

I'd Like My Sandwich With A Side Of Patriarchy

Oh boy, this one. This one was special. It was the first day I was on cash duty, and I was training in the afternoon, when it wasn't busy. I actually enjoy interacting with customers (most of the time), and the cash register was a new thing for me to do and learn, so it held my attention for a while. (I still enjoy it now, but I'm sure the spectacle of being trusted with my month's salary in a drawer will wear off fairly quickly.) So, anyway, a lady and her teenage daughter walk in. Neat.

So, they order their sandwiches, and they do hyper special nonsense to it. Being that I was new on cash, and the supervisor was busy, I resorted to shouting back what to do to the standard sandwiches to our cook, who was a middle eastern girl, dunno where from though. Nice lady, works hard, her English is fantastic but she beats herself up for it a lot. Going through school to impress her parents, first generation immigrant type deal. The good kind. The normal kind.

"Why are you shouting at her??" Asked the teenager, incredulous, as she finally spent five seconds looking away from her phone to look at me.

"Well, I'm new to cashier duty, so I was instructing her as to what to not put on your sandwiches, so you would get what you wanted." In hindsight, I probably should have used less commanding language. Like instead of "instructing," probably should have said "suggested," and instead of saying "what you wanted", I could have said "what I believe you asked me to do." Always take personal responsibility, tends to defuse situations a lot. Anyway...

"But you're yelling at her!"
"Yes, in order to be heard over the sounds of kitchen devices."
"I bet you yell at her all the time. She's not stupid you know, you could talk to her face to face!"
"I can't actually leave my station here while a customer is getting their order done."
"That doesn't excuse you from verbally abusing her!"

Meanwhile, this whole time, the mother is looking over at her daughter, with this most wicked smile. Basically, this was her mother's reaction to her daughter chewing out a cashier for making sure their sandwiches would be made properly.

So, I finally did the smart thing, and I apologized. Profusely, and non-stop. Forums? Sure I can debate my heart out, no problem, can always walk away. My job? Oh fuck that, I'm not paid to give my opinion. I'm paid to make n' sell sammiches, like the most basic bitch that ever lived. This managed to shut her up, however, judging by the narrowed eyebrows she had as she typed away on her phone furiously, I'm sure I was the subject of a tumblr post, or a tweet, or a text message, or something equally banal and empty. They got their sandwiches and started walking away, and, being that she's fucking retarded special and unique, or extremely inconsiderate, I overheard what she said to her mother as they walked away.

"One day, I hope every man is in as lowly a position as him, so that they can finally understand what it's like to be a woman."

Ah, don't worry little lady. I didn't really give a shit about the opinion of a socialite who goes to college on Daddy's Money then, and I still don't now.

 

[Shiri]

All this talk of beef is making me hungry.

"Cow milk, and chocolate cow milk" gave me a laugh. If only one could talk back to customers with comments like that.

 

[Seba]

OH. Ok. That makes a lot more sense then.

Sorry sorry, I'll... stop trying to defend these customers.

I tried doing the same thing. I have to admit he was slightly gentler with me.... but I totally understand your point.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

"Can I have [insert McDonalds/Burger King/et cetera item here]." (This once happened 15 times in one day, with one lady in particular doing it 3 times in a row in drive-through before finally stumbling onto a thing we do actually sell.)
"Is this water Halal?" (... I... Would assume so, yes.)
"Can I have a sandwich and pay you back for it later?" (Do we look like a bank to you?)
"Can you give me an employee discount?" (No.)
"Can you just upsize the fries beyond large?" (No. There is no size beyond large.)
[After buying sandwiches, et cetera, gets them all.] "Can I change my order?" (No. You've paid for it, you've got it, now eat it. I can get you a new order, though.)
"I demand a refund!" (If you ate the fucking sandwich, I can't give you a refund, except under extenuating circumstances. Seriously, I'll go get my manager, they'll tell you the same thing. You can get a refund if we overcharged you. If you got the wrong order, we'll happily apologize and get you the right one, but you'll need to prove it with a receipt, which we hand to you, even if you decline wanting one. For this specific reason.)
"Can I sell you X?" (No. We're selling you a product, fuck off. Go call the higher ups if you want to sell Arby's on something, individual stores have no power to change their menu or most finances, so trying to sell us something is pointless.)

Wow... XD
These one's really me.

They Came From... Behind!

This is a story of instant karma and social humiliation. Something different from the usual fair of screeching daddy's girls, drug addicts, drunk natives, and so on. A fair change of pace, I think. It started with one of the old homophobic dipshits from Episode 2 coming in and ordering a coffee. He struck up a conversation with me while he waited for me to get his coffee, sugar, and cream. (If the store ain't busy, I can do extra things to make a customer happy. Also, this was the more reasonable guy from earlier. The one who said that gays making a new soviet union was "a bit crazy.") A gay couple (two women) entered the store as captain dipshit here starts talking to me about the gay agenda, and why gays don't belong in politics. Now, he doesn't seem to notice that they're gay. I however, do. You know that "gaydar" thing, that strange feeilng? Well, I didn't really need that, cuz' I saw em' smooch each other on the way in the door. He didn't. I kept my mouth shut though, because I wanted to see how this would go.

As I finish making the coffee and hand it to the old guy, I notice he had turned his attention to the two girls. They were nodding and simply listening, tolerating his spew about how "dem NDP gays" were ruining the oil-based economy. The two girls then held each other's hands and kept smiling. Old guy compliments their manners and looks. One of them finally opens their mouth and says "thanks, I'm sure me and my girlfriend will remember this."

Homophobe took a few seconds to catch on, then, finally, he seemed quite humiliated. He was alone, and the two girls offered to eat with him. He quietly accepted. They sat down and enjoyed their meal. He walked out smiling, they walked out smiling.

There was no explosive drama. They actually communicated and learned about each other and grew as a result of it.

Nobody is going to goddamn believe me, but, hell, it happened. Now whether the homophobe is actually going to be a better person as a result of this event, hell if I know. I hope so. We'll see when I next see the guy. From here on out, we'll call him Reasonable Homophobe. Hopefully that second word will get dropped when next I speak with the guy.

Wait really? Holy shit that's actually really nice to hear. XD

...Wait, so... the stuff that Americans call "Canadian bacon"... is not what Canadians refer to as bacon?

Am I understanding this right?

Speaking as another Canadian, in my area we do actually distinguish the two by such.
Some also say "Back Bacon" like Jorick mentioned, but majority of people call it American or Canadian Bacon.

I think this difference in terms is more a Provincial difference than one Country wide.

 

[Dervish]

Two cents on that bacon discussion.

The three regions I have lived in (South Ontario, Central Alberta, and Southern Alberta) don't have anything called "Canadian bacon", which I am certain is American jargon for peameal bacon, or back bacon, which are those delightful thin slices of cured ham that was posted before. Seriously, fry that shit up in a pan or in the oven and serve on toasted English muffins. Fucking amazing.

Back to Brovo's misery!

That story with the lesbian couple and the "Reasonable Homophobe" is something I thinktends to happen when people of conflicting viewpoints treat each other with respect and sit down and talk. You find out that the other person isn't all that different from someone you know and it's sure as hell hard to demonize someone when you realize they're a lot like you.

I kind of get the impression the man's views were shaped over the years to fit in and get approval from friends and family, which is kind of sad in the depressing way. Would his two friends have felt as guilty if put in the same situation, or even accepted the offer to sit with the girls? Or would they have responded with hate?

Those old guys are a part of what I really hate about Alberta and Saskatchewan, it's two places that are so resistant and fearful of change that it took 40 years for Alberta to vote for another party than Conservative. How much of that is social pressure and conditioning? I imagine a lot of people over the years just found it easier to go with the flow rather than say what they really thought because they didn't want to fight with family and friends.

Well, I just bummed myself out now.

 

[Kagayours]

The three regions I have lived in (South Ontario, Central Alberta, and Southern Alberta) don't have anything called "Canadian bacon", which I am certain is American jargon for peameal bacon, or back bacon, which are those delightful thin slices of cured ham that was posted before. Seriously, fry that shit up in a pan or in the oven and serve on toasted English muffins. Fucking amazing.

Well I understand why no one in Canada would call it "Canadian bacon". After all, the stuff I referred to as "American bacon" for clarification is only ever just called "bacon" here in the US.

I was just saying that, if we have "Canadian bacon" in the US, I was thinking it might be possible that, in Canada, someone might use the term "American bacon" to refer to what we just call "bacon" here -- as opposed to referring to the pig's country of origin.

But, I see now that there seem to be a lot of regional differences in all this terminology, so... yeah. Who knows.

 

[Dervish]

Well I understand why no one in Canada would call it "Canadian bacon". After all, the stuff I referred to as "American bacon" for clarification is only ever just called "bacon" here in the US.

I was just saying that, if we have "Canadian bacon" in the US, I was thinking it might be possible that, in Canada, someone might use the term "American bacon" to refer to what we just call "bacon" here -- as opposed to referring to the pig's country of origin.

But, I see now that there seem to be a lot of regional differences in all this terminology, so... yeah. Who knows.

Naw, that stuff is always just bacon wherever you go I think.

 

[Hellis]

In some places it is called haram

 

[K3l]

Bacon: The thread

 

[Dervish]

So, holy shit.

Two days ago I actually found something labeled as Canadian bacon.

I bought two packs because they were exactly what I was looking for.

 

[Windsong]

So, holy shit.

Two days ago I actually found something labeled as Canadian bacon.

I bought two packs because they were exactly what I was looking for.

Pics or it didn't happen.