Welcome to the Mental Help Hotline

Delnoir

A Relic of a Bygone Era
Original poster
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on line.

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you are Paorou, leave a message telling us how you got this number so we can keep you from finding it again.
 

Vay

The Empress
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female
Genres
Mostly Fantasy and Sci-fi, though I’ll do anything if the plot is good.
I have ADD can someone tell me what that was all about?
 

Blind Hemingway

A former executive or something.
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
Adept, Douche
Preferred Character Gender
Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
Fuck this hot line, I hate using phones anyways. I have autism, so it's all good.
 

Hydronine

The Murrstress
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
Multiple posts per day, 1-3 posts per day
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
No Preferences
Genres
Scifi, Fantasy, Modern, Magical, Horror, Noir, apocalyptic, Grimdark, yaoi, yuri, anything really.
9999999999999999999


What am I doing again?
 
M

megane-kun

Guest
*presses 8* ... uh..... hmmmm..

what? name? O_o... *silence*

*hangs up*
 
C

Captain Nic

Guest
Hello, this is Parou. Yeah. Some wanker posted this number on the net.

Okay. Will keep in touch. Thank you.
 
S

Sakura

Guest
THEY DIDNT STEAL IT

I DRANK IT WHILE I WAS DECIDING WHAT NUMBER TO PICK :D
 

Blind Hemingway

A former executive or something.
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
Adept, Douche
Preferred Character Gender
Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_D9h1xM0_0"]YouTube- Die fantastischen Vier-Die da[/ame]

So it turns out Chaos suffers from wearing outdated Hip Hop outfits.
 
F

Fel of the Eternal Forest

Guest
*Hangs up* goddamn being manic depressive... Nobody got love for us. *Listens to emu music*
 

Hydronine

The Murrstress
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
Multiple posts per day, 1-3 posts per day
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
No Preferences
Genres
Scifi, Fantasy, Modern, Magical, Horror, Noir, apocalyptic, Grimdark, yaoi, yuri, anything really.
*Cuddles the phone*
 
A

Arsenal XA4

Guest
There's nothing there for rageaholic, sex addicts, or Despotic Tyrants.

What am I supposed to do?
 
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