Welcome to the Mental Help Hotline

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Delnoir, Feb 11, 2010.

  1. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer.

    If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on line.

    If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

    If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

    If you are Paorou, leave a message telling us how you got this number so we can keep you from finding it again.
     
  2. FUCK YOUR HOTLINE!

    *flexes*
     
  3. FUKKIT WITH A CHAINSAW! SIDEWAYS!
     
  4. I have ADD can someone tell me what that was all about?
     
  5. Fuck this hot line, I hate using phones anyways. I have autism, so it's all good.
     
  6. 9999999999999999999


    What am I doing again?
     
  7. *presses 8* ... uh..... hmmmm..

    what? name? O_o... *silence*

    *hangs up*
     
  8. Hello, this is Parou. Yeah. Some wanker posted this number on the net.

    Okay. Will keep in touch. Thank you.
     
  9. WHY DO YOU GUYS KEEP STEALING MY MOUNTAIN DEW
     
  10. THEY DIDNT STEAL IT

    I DRANK IT WHILE I WAS DECIDING WHAT NUMBER TO PICK :D
     
  11. [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_D9h1xM0_0"]YouTube- Die fantastischen Vier-Die da[/ame]

    So it turns out Chaos suffers from wearing outdated Hip Hop outfits.
     
  12. *Hangs up* goddamn being manic depressive... Nobody got love for us. *Listens to emu music*
     
  13. There isn't a number for completely normal =(
     
  14. I HATE BEING IN LOVE AND CARING ABOUT OTHER HUMANS
     
  15. *Cuddles the phone*
     
  16. If you're normal you don't need to call them. Unless you're talking about hiring, though, I think Rory ate that number though.
     
  17. There's nothing there for rageaholic, sex addicts, or Despotic Tyrants.

    What am I supposed to do?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Found New Sodom?
     
  19. FUCK YEAH, NEW SODOM.
     
  20. Then found New Gomorrah