Unfortunate but Useful Superpowers

[Levusti]

My sister and I were being derps after eating delicious Tex-Mex fajitas at a restaurant. Anyways, my breath was all garlicky and somehow we hypothesized what a nice superpower that would be, to breathe stanky azz breath all over someone to manipulate them.

Like you stand in a long line for the elevators and you just breathe at everyone's face. Then, in disgust, they part like the biblical legend of the Red Sea so you can do what you like.

Or you're robbing a bank and tell the teller to hand over the money. She replies, "No." Then you breathe on her face. And then she backs away swiftly saying, "Oh, God! Yeah, no, bye. Have the money."

Or maybe you're being threatened by the police or someone's holding you at gunpoint. You tell them, "Gimme your gun." They refuse and you breath in their face. They hand their gun to you. "God, why did you that. Here, just have it."

So what other unfortunate but incredibly useful superpower could you conceive?

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

The ability to look insanely ugly, avoid anyone trying to cat call you.

 

[Temet Nosce]

Whenever you sneeze you change race and gender. These are randomly generated each time.

Awkward at times, but you could be the best thief ever since no one would be able to ID you.

 

[Razilin]

the ability to make your nose longer

could be useful during sex

unlikely to be useful anytime else

 

[Windsong]

the ability to make your nose longer

could be useful during sex

unlikely to be useful anytime else

Literally, drowning in pussy.

The ability to know when an avocado is perfectly ripe.

But only when they're in season.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Having an always hardened dick.

 

[Minerva]

Being Immortal

If you got arrested and on a Life Sentence, you'd be in there forever. (Literally.) and you would see everyone you love die.

But you'd be immortal.

 

[Laggy Lagiacrus]

Having incredibly bad luck.
You could purposefully try to lose money and worsen your health, and your terrible luck would force the opposite to happen.

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

Meat vision! Turn anything you look at to meat. Stole the idea from Fairly Odd Parents. Whenever you're hungry....Bam! Bacon! It wouldn't do much if you got into trouble though, unless you got in a fight with someone who's really hungry.

Having an always hardened dick.

That would not be useful at all. o.o

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

That would not be useful at all. o.o

Would it? :P

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

Would it? :P

I said wouldn't. Not unless you're married/dating a nympho.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I said wouldn't. Not unless you're married/dating a nympho.

And who says you're not?

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

And who says you're not?

You have issues.....

Besides, I don't have a dick, and I don't want one.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

You have issues.....

For seeing a use in fast/easy sex? :P

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

For seeing a use in fast/easy sex? :P

No. For believing you can have a committed relationship with a nympho.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

No. For believing you can have a committed relationship with a nympho.

I assumed you meant one or the other, not both. :P
Though one of my D&D characters did do just that. So I guess he's done the impossible.

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

I assumed you meant one or the other, not both. :P
Though one of my D&D characters did do just that. So I guess he's done the impossible.

I don't even want to know how that's possible....

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

I don't even want to know how that's possible....

 

[ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ]

Seven she cheats, twenty she stays faithful? o.O

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Seven she cheats, twenty she stays faithful? o.O

Basically. :P
Natural one and...